Growing up with depressed parents.

April 15, 2021 10:44 PM

Resource request.

Hello,

I am looking for any recommended books (mainly), youtube videos, podcasts etc. about growing up with parents who have depression. I'm more interested in the ways in which it affects the child and how it might show up in their behaviour as an adult. There are lots of resources about "narcissistic parents" but there doesn't seem to be much information out there about this.

Thanks.

posted by ihaveyourfoot to Human Relations (6 answers total)

You might find the book – Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker helpful. Growing up with depressed parents may mean growing up neglected which can result in a sort of inarticulate PTSD.
posted by Thella at 11:16 PM on April 15, 2021 [3 favorites]

Possibly of interest:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb

Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries by Anne Katherine

Books I haven't read but come recommended:

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn

Some of the Alice Miller books such as The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self

As for podcasts, the author of the book Feeling Good has one called the Feeling Good Podcast, that may cover items of interest.

The Personal Development School on YouTube focuses on attachment theory and in each videos there are reasons as to why you may have developed that attachment theory based on one or both parents.

If you (or anyone else) wants to PM me, I may have other sources dependent on more specific factors.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 11:33 PM on April 15, 2021 [6 favorites]

+1 for both Gibson and Webb recommendations above with the personal caveat that I had a very strong reaction to Running on Empty - I thought she had a lot of good insights but that she also over-applied the neglect concept and as part of the book's premise is that you may not recognise the neglect as neglect it gave me an uneasy feeling of not being sure what parts of my experience to trust.
posted by crocomancer at 2:43 AM on April 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

Seconding the Pete Walker book recommendation. An eye-opener for me.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 6:08 AM on April 16, 2021

Response by poster: Thank you for these. Really helpful.

Feel free to keep adding recommendations! I will keeping checking in.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 8:40 AM on April 16, 2021

Maybe check out the work of John Bradshaw. He was big in the 80s - 90s, with lots of books & PBS videos, etc. I read Family Secrets, thought it was very good.
posted by Bron at 9:19 AM on April 16, 2021