Getting rid of a wretched photo of myself online
February 26, 2021 8:42 AM Subscribe
There is a picture of me that comes up when I Google myself that is truly terrible. I really would like to get rid of it, but I don't know what is and is not unreasonable to ask of others in reaching this goal.
The picture in question is a non professional headshot, taken by my employer, and submitted, along with a column I wrote, to our local weekly newspaper. My employer frequently has staff write a regular column for this newspaper. The last one I wrote was a couple of years ago, but the headshot lives on....
It's terrible because I was having a bad hair day, which is also a completely different hairstyle than the one I have currently. My skin was broken out that day. The photo was taken close up, emphasizing every flaw while also making the bottom half of my face look much wider than it is. I'm wearing a large, goofy, lopsided grin. I just hate this picture.
I asked my employer if they/we/I could send in a new pic to the newspaper and they were totally fine with that... the next time I write a column. Which could years from now, or never?
This pic of me is front and center when you do a Google search. It's showcased in the images preview, while a few others of me (that I'm also not crazy about, but which aren't quite as bad) you have to dig for. I have a very unusual, googlable name, unfortunately. It hasn't been great to have it out there, but I was mostly able to ignore it till recently, when I started making some headway in a new career.
I know the usual trick is to flood the internet with other pics of yourself to push this one down. For instance, I don't currently have a pic of myself on linked in, and I don't really do other social media. I hate pictures of myself, however, and my preference world be to simply have none of myself online. I'm daunted even at the prospect of creating a new headshot of myself on the chance that I'll someday get to write a new column.
My question is, would it be reasonable to have my employer send in a new headshot of me to the news, even without an accompanying new column? Or to ask my employer, hey, would I be able to write one fairly soon, I really want to get rid of this pic? Complicating factor is that the person I'm working with at my employer took the dreaded pic of me. I wouldn't even know who to contact at the newspaper directly, and that might be seen as going behind my employer's back(?)
Any advice would be much appreciated! I know that nobody cares as much as me, but it still bugs me. I also feel like it brings down my professional image a bit as I try to embark on a new career.
The picture in question is a non professional headshot, taken by my employer, and submitted, along with a column I wrote, to our local weekly newspaper. My employer frequently has staff write a regular column for this newspaper. The last one I wrote was a couple of years ago, but the headshot lives on....
It's terrible because I was having a bad hair day, which is also a completely different hairstyle than the one I have currently. My skin was broken out that day. The photo was taken close up, emphasizing every flaw while also making the bottom half of my face look much wider than it is. I'm wearing a large, goofy, lopsided grin. I just hate this picture.
I asked my employer if they/we/I could send in a new pic to the newspaper and they were totally fine with that... the next time I write a column. Which could years from now, or never?
This pic of me is front and center when you do a Google search. It's showcased in the images preview, while a few others of me (that I'm also not crazy about, but which aren't quite as bad) you have to dig for. I have a very unusual, googlable name, unfortunately. It hasn't been great to have it out there, but I was mostly able to ignore it till recently, when I started making some headway in a new career.
I know the usual trick is to flood the internet with other pics of yourself to push this one down. For instance, I don't currently have a pic of myself on linked in, and I don't really do other social media. I hate pictures of myself, however, and my preference world be to simply have none of myself online. I'm daunted even at the prospect of creating a new headshot of myself on the chance that I'll someday get to write a new column.
My question is, would it be reasonable to have my employer send in a new headshot of me to the news, even without an accompanying new column? Or to ask my employer, hey, would I be able to write one fairly soon, I really want to get rid of this pic? Complicating factor is that the person I'm working with at my employer took the dreaded pic of me. I wouldn't even know who to contact at the newspaper directly, and that might be seen as going behind my employer's back(?)
Any advice would be much appreciated! I know that nobody cares as much as me, but it still bugs me. I also feel like it brings down my professional image a bit as I try to embark on a new career.
why don't you write a column and tell your employer "let's use this one next month"? Make it easy for them to do what you want.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:53 AM on February 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:53 AM on February 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
I know the usual trick is to flood the internet with other pics of yourself to push this one down.
It's not enough just to flood the internet with pictures of you, the pictures have to end up on highly ranked sites. An old image on a newspaper is more likely to be bubbled to the top than a new one on a personal blog with no readers.
Complicating factor is that the person I'm working with at my employer took the dreaded pic of me.
Don't tell them that you hate the photo, tell them that you'd like to update it so it stays current with your appearance and that you'll provide your own because of corona.
It sounds like the path of least resistance is to come up with a good pitch for a new column.
You probably have a reasonable shot of getting it updated if you just contact the paper and make a polite request and this is so far below what most employers are going to care about that there's little risk to doing so (unless you're in a work uniform in the old photo and not in the new one or something like that). I know you hate the photo but the only person that thinks or cares about a years old photo at a local weekly newspaper is you.
posted by Candleman at 8:56 AM on February 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
It's not enough just to flood the internet with pictures of you, the pictures have to end up on highly ranked sites. An old image on a newspaper is more likely to be bubbled to the top than a new one on a personal blog with no readers.
Complicating factor is that the person I'm working with at my employer took the dreaded pic of me.
Don't tell them that you hate the photo, tell them that you'd like to update it so it stays current with your appearance and that you'll provide your own because of corona.
It sounds like the path of least resistance is to come up with a good pitch for a new column.
You probably have a reasonable shot of getting it updated if you just contact the paper and make a polite request and this is so far below what most employers are going to care about that there's little risk to doing so (unless you're in a work uniform in the old photo and not in the new one or something like that). I know you hate the photo but the only person that thinks or cares about a years old photo at a local weekly newspaper is you.
posted by Candleman at 8:56 AM on February 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
You will have more luck appealing to the people that actually operate the website hosting the image in question. Your employer doesn't really need to get involved and it isn't going behind your employer's back - they helped get your column published, but I doubt they have a vested interest in this picture in particular. For what it's worth, if I was the employer in this situation and I found out one of my employees had asked for the picture to be changed, I'd chuckle a little and go on with my day. It's not a big deal, and it's not a personal affront - it doesn't sound like you work for a photography studio so it isn't like they have a huge vested interest in the staff photos they take internally.
I'd contact the digital media person at the newspaper (might have to make a few calls or emails to find them) and let them know that someone submitted the wrong headshot and that you'd like them to take it down, or replace it with a correct one. I can't imagine a media outlet ignoring this request, especially if you can tell them that it wasn't a headshot approved for publication and they have it up there without your permission - it will be super easy for them to just remove the picture at minimum, if not replace it entirely.
Don't overthink this - polite but firm goes a long way in situations like this. I'd be shocked if you asked them directly and they refused to do so.
posted by _DB_ at 8:56 AM on February 26, 2021 [18 favorites]
I'd contact the digital media person at the newspaper (might have to make a few calls or emails to find them) and let them know that someone submitted the wrong headshot and that you'd like them to take it down, or replace it with a correct one. I can't imagine a media outlet ignoring this request, especially if you can tell them that it wasn't a headshot approved for publication and they have it up there without your permission - it will be super easy for them to just remove the picture at minimum, if not replace it entirely.
Don't overthink this - polite but firm goes a long way in situations like this. I'd be shocked if you asked them directly and they refused to do so.
posted by _DB_ at 8:56 AM on February 26, 2021 [18 favorites]
You don't need your employer to mediate for you. Just contact the paper and ask. It's as easy as that.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:57 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 8:57 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
It's not unusual whatsoever. It's your image and likeness, it's within your control. You can say you're working on cultivating a more polished presentation, and an update is part of making all your photos professional and current.
Seconding mentioning you were not able to proof or approve the shot for publication, and would not have chosen or do not choose that image.
Polite/firm/friendly, appealing to whoever curates print (as opposed to a manager, potentially), for sure.
posted by firstdaffodils at 9:04 AM on February 26, 2021
Seconding mentioning you were not able to proof or approve the shot for publication, and would not have chosen or do not choose that image.
Polite/firm/friendly, appealing to whoever curates print (as opposed to a manager, potentially), for sure.
posted by firstdaffodils at 9:04 AM on February 26, 2021
I work at a place where I maintain a database of headshots for our website. People ask me to replace their headshots all the time, it is a total nonissue. Just tell the person that the headshot is outdated and you'd like it replaced. However, in the email where you've attached the new headshot, ask if this fits the dimensions/resolution that they need for the site. Otherwise your headshot might need editing, which can push it to the bottom of someone's to-do list.
Don't get combative with the person who can replace your photo, or explain too much about WHY you want a new one. Just send them the new picture and tell them the old one is outdated. People's looks change all the time and for many reasons. It's fine.
And please don't send a cheesy glamour shot from ten years ago--just a contemporary picture of you from the shoulders up, facing forward, wearing nice clothes in natural light is best.
posted by zoetrope at 9:21 AM on February 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
Don't get combative with the person who can replace your photo, or explain too much about WHY you want a new one. Just send them the new picture and tell them the old one is outdated. People's looks change all the time and for many reasons. It's fine.
And please don't send a cheesy glamour shot from ten years ago--just a contemporary picture of you from the shoulders up, facing forward, wearing nice clothes in natural light is best.
posted by zoetrope at 9:21 AM on February 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
If you have the time, money and Covid tolerance, it might be worth getting a professional headshot and putting it up everywhere. I've been amazed how good it can look when the photographer knows their stuff.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 9:40 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by I claim sanctuary at 9:40 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
Just contact the paper and ask. It's as easy as that.
Nope. Longtime, old, newspaper guy here. Newspapers get similar request all the time, although mostly it is for things like, "I did a stupid thing years ago, got arrested, did my community service, have done nothing wrong since, but now this news item still comes up whenever people Google me." Most newspaper editors are seriously disinclined to do this, taking the view that, "You did the deed, it's on the record, and we're not going to erase it. Plus even if we took it off the website, that news would still be in the printed files, microfilm, archive.org, and other databases. So, no." (That said, a few papers, like the Boston Globe, are setting up a process to consider these cases, particularly if race played a role in the arrest or conviction.)
You, on the other hand, just had a bad hair day. Honestly, no newspaper editor is going to agree to do replace the picture that's already on the record. (Unless it's a trade publication, a shopper, or something else that's not a bona fide local newspaper.) By all means ask, but don't expect results. But as suggested above, if you write another column with a new picture, that will be perfectly acceptable to them. Go that route — ideally, write multiple columns to drown out the older one.
posted by beagle at 10:12 AM on February 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
Nope. Longtime, old, newspaper guy here. Newspapers get similar request all the time, although mostly it is for things like, "I did a stupid thing years ago, got arrested, did my community service, have done nothing wrong since, but now this news item still comes up whenever people Google me." Most newspaper editors are seriously disinclined to do this, taking the view that, "You did the deed, it's on the record, and we're not going to erase it. Plus even if we took it off the website, that news would still be in the printed files, microfilm, archive.org, and other databases. So, no." (That said, a few papers, like the Boston Globe, are setting up a process to consider these cases, particularly if race played a role in the arrest or conviction.)
You, on the other hand, just had a bad hair day. Honestly, no newspaper editor is going to agree to do replace the picture that's already on the record. (Unless it's a trade publication, a shopper, or something else that's not a bona fide local newspaper.) By all means ask, but don't expect results. But as suggested above, if you write another column with a new picture, that will be perfectly acceptable to them. Go that route — ideally, write multiple columns to drown out the older one.
posted by beagle at 10:12 AM on February 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
One reason a publication may be reluctant to honor this request is due to ownership/copyright of the photo. Just because it’s a picture of you doesn’t necessarily give you rights to do what you’d like with it. It depends on the publication but you may have to show permission from the rights holder that they can use the new photo.
posted by girlmightlive at 11:26 AM on February 26, 2021
posted by girlmightlive at 11:26 AM on February 26, 2021
As a person who has worked for newspapers and updated headshots, I would honor this request if it was sent to me and if the photo was in the appropriate format & size and I knew it was you. But it sounds like I may be singular in that, so my best advice is to write the new column and submit the new photo. Is your employer an advertiser and these columns are paid advertising pieces? If so I think the newspaper staff is much more likely to replace the photo if you request it. In either case, I would follow up with a phone call to the appropriate contact and try to very politely point out the issue. I think the newspaper should change this because it sounds like a terrible quality photo, and why wouldn’t they want it to look better.
ETA: I think this sounds like a staff photo or even advertiser “paid content” photo and that’s why I think they will replace it. If it was a mugshot or news photo, it would be a very different situation.
posted by areaperson at 11:37 AM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
ETA: I think this sounds like a staff photo or even advertiser “paid content” photo and that’s why I think they will replace it. If it was a mugshot or news photo, it would be a very different situation.
posted by areaperson at 11:37 AM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks, everyone, for all the good suggestions. It seems like writing a new column would be the path of least resistance. The problem with that is that I have no control over when I get asked to write columns (and it's a very minimal part of my job). Would it be too forward of me to ask my employer if they have any upcoming weeks or months they are looking for content on, and if there are any particular things they'd like to highlight? They already know I want to have a new photo up, so I think my reason for pursuing this would be fairly obvious. But I don't think the gatekeeper person here at my job would hold it against me.
posted by ThreeSocksToTheWind at 12:01 PM on February 26, 2021
posted by ThreeSocksToTheWind at 12:01 PM on February 26, 2021
Ex-newspaper-person and now PR-person here (albeit in Europe). I have to ask newspapers for favours all the time.
1) Big publications won't exchange headshots, especially several years (!) after publication. They get requests all the time, for them it's like "ugh, another vanity ask, don't they know we have work to do".
2) However. It's a local paper. Your employer has some clout (regular columns). If I were you, I would appeal to the general mensch-ness of whoever uploads the articles to the internet. You hate the picture. You've hated it for years. You have a much better one. They would do you a huge favour by exchanging it. You know it's an ask, but would that be possible? (You find that person by asking whoever is in charge of receiving your columns at the paper. Just lay out your case to that person. They'll either answer you directly or pass you on.)
3) C'mon, bite the bullet, get a picture taken. No photos is not an option.
4) YES show initiative towards your employer. Don't just ask what they want, offer suggestions. That's always the better way, unless your employer is a bit peculiar. Here's what I would say to my boss; adjust tone as needed: "Hey, I was thinking about what you said and I would LOVE to write up a fresh column. And not just because of the profile picture, haha. Do you have anything particular in mind? Because I thought maybe topics X or Y would be good because Z. What do you think?"
posted by Omnomnom at 12:35 PM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
1) Big publications won't exchange headshots, especially several years (!) after publication. They get requests all the time, for them it's like "ugh, another vanity ask, don't they know we have work to do".
2) However. It's a local paper. Your employer has some clout (regular columns). If I were you, I would appeal to the general mensch-ness of whoever uploads the articles to the internet. You hate the picture. You've hated it for years. You have a much better one. They would do you a huge favour by exchanging it. You know it's an ask, but would that be possible? (You find that person by asking whoever is in charge of receiving your columns at the paper. Just lay out your case to that person. They'll either answer you directly or pass you on.)
3) C'mon, bite the bullet, get a picture taken. No photos is not an option.
4) YES show initiative towards your employer. Don't just ask what they want, offer suggestions. That's always the better way, unless your employer is a bit peculiar. Here's what I would say to my boss; adjust tone as needed: "Hey, I was thinking about what you said and I would LOVE to write up a fresh column. And not just because of the profile picture, haha. Do you have anything particular in mind? Because I thought maybe topics X or Y would be good because Z. What do you think?"
posted by Omnomnom at 12:35 PM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
Most newspaper editors are seriously disinclined to do this, taking the view that, "You did the deed, it's on the record, and we're not going to erase it. Plus even if we took it off the website, that news would still be in the printed files, microfilm, archive.org, and other databases. So, no." (That said, a few papers, like the Boston Globe, are setting up a process to consider these cases, particularly if race played a role in the arrest or conviction.)
Counterpoint from someone that also has worked in a lot of media - this is nothing akin to someone trying to suppress an arrest mugshot or photo of them leaving their mistress' house, this is just updating the photo that's shown with the columnists' profile, which is a common thing in online publishing. OP is not asking for a story to be modified, they're asking for the author metadata that's displayed along with it to be updated. Whether it still exists in archived format doesn't really matter to OP - just updating the higher page ranked site with a new one would push down the disliked one in results, especially if they also put a good photo up on LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. It's more likely to be the decision of an overworked and underpaid digital content manager than the editor.
posted by Candleman at 1:06 PM on February 26, 2021 [11 favorites]
Counterpoint from someone that also has worked in a lot of media - this is nothing akin to someone trying to suppress an arrest mugshot or photo of them leaving their mistress' house, this is just updating the photo that's shown with the columnists' profile, which is a common thing in online publishing. OP is not asking for a story to be modified, they're asking for the author metadata that's displayed along with it to be updated. Whether it still exists in archived format doesn't really matter to OP - just updating the higher page ranked site with a new one would push down the disliked one in results, especially if they also put a good photo up on LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. It's more likely to be the decision of an overworked and underpaid digital content manager than the editor.
posted by Candleman at 1:06 PM on February 26, 2021 [11 favorites]
Just chiming in on your latest question- I’ve worked for a few companies which were always looking for new content to put on their websites to generate interest/for branding/publicity purposes etc. In my experience, they loved employees to generate ideas and content on their own.
Are there any new trends in your industry/department? Any FAQs? Is there anything in the news that relates to your business? If so, pitch the idea to your boss- they will appreciate your initiative and (unless they have a ridged schedule and already know what columns they want to publish when, which would be unusual) you’ll get pushed to the front of the publication queue.
posted by Dwardles at 12:02 AM on February 27, 2021
Are there any new trends in your industry/department? Any FAQs? Is there anything in the news that relates to your business? If so, pitch the idea to your boss- they will appreciate your initiative and (unless they have a ridged schedule and already know what columns they want to publish when, which would be unusual) you’ll get pushed to the front of the publication queue.
posted by Dwardles at 12:02 AM on February 27, 2021
Another ex-journo chiming in to say that this is nothing like you trying to cover up a previous conviction, and if it's a local paper you should directly approach whoever takes care of digital prodcution, send them your preferred photo and ask if they might be happy to switch it for you (and asking them to let you know if they need it in a different size/format - if they say yes, resize it quickly and send it straight back). If your boss notices and asks, it's just: "Yeah, I had that new photo taken and I liked it, I didn't want to bother you with it so I just pinged it to the paper, hope that's OK."
Or if you think it would be better to write another column, suggest a topic to your boss, don't make them think of one. "After we talked about my photo, it got me to thinking how much I'd like to write another column. I've been thinking a lot about blah recently, and it occurred to me blah would be a great topic for a column - what do you think? Can I fire on with it?"
posted by penguin pie at 7:54 AM on February 27, 2021
Or if you think it would be better to write another column, suggest a topic to your boss, don't make them think of one. "After we talked about my photo, it got me to thinking how much I'd like to write another column. I've been thinking a lot about blah recently, and it occurred to me blah would be a great topic for a column - what do you think? Can I fire on with it?"
posted by penguin pie at 7:54 AM on February 27, 2021
I don't agree that coming up with some sort of pretext is the best way to get what you want here. They still may not care, but personally if I were the person at the newspaper with control over your photo, "I want to keep my photo updated" (or whatever) feels like an annoying, low-necessity job request that would fall wayyyy at the bottom of my to-do list whereas "ack I just hate the way I look in this picture and it's bumming me out" feels like a relatable personal situation where I might be moved to help them out.
posted by dusty potato at 11:06 AM on February 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by dusty potato at 11:06 AM on February 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
1. The photo might be much lower in the search results for others- once you've clicked something a few times, Google boosts it for you next time. Ask a friend to google-image-search you and send you a screengrab of the results they get on their machine - it really might be better hidden than you think. MeMail me if you want and I'll do it for you.
2. Add some better photos of yourself to the internet. Put one on LinkedIn, Twitter etc, or even create a blog. Make sure to SEO the photos well- call them Firstname_Lastname and make sure your name is in the title of the post and the copy / caption. Those photos will come up sooner in searches and bump the bad one down.
3. Take it as incentive to write a new article? And yes, definitely take the incentive. Send an email with 3 ideas. If boss says no, pitch them to another outlet. Always cool to be published!
To your concern about your motive seeming clear - I would NEVER in a million years think that someone pitching me an article was only doing it to get a photo replaced! I'd assume they wanted to improve their writing portfolio - so I don't think you need to feel weird about that.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:41 PM on February 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
2. Add some better photos of yourself to the internet. Put one on LinkedIn, Twitter etc, or even create a blog. Make sure to SEO the photos well- call them Firstname_Lastname and make sure your name is in the title of the post and the copy / caption. Those photos will come up sooner in searches and bump the bad one down.
3. Take it as incentive to write a new article? And yes, definitely take the incentive. Send an email with 3 ideas. If boss says no, pitch them to another outlet. Always cool to be published!
To your concern about your motive seeming clear - I would NEVER in a million years think that someone pitching me an article was only doing it to get a photo replaced! I'd assume they wanted to improve their writing portfolio - so I don't think you need to feel weird about that.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:41 PM on February 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by AugustWest at 8:53 AM on February 26, 2021 [9 favorites]