How do I find my kind of D&D group?
January 20, 2021 6:19 AM Subscribe
My D&D group didn't survive the move to lockdown remote play. I'd like to join another game, but while I can theoretically see how to find a group to join, I'm not sure how to find a group that would work for me? Would have to be online only, of course. No gathering around a table around here for quite a long time yet.
I see that you can search for groups on roll20, for example, but that seems pretty hit and miss. Also, I'm a 49 year old woman and I suspect that I would make an awkward fit for a typical group of players. I'm a relative beginner, but have played for about 2 years so understand the mechanics. I prefer more narrative driven games with interesting interactions with NPCs to "fight and loot" dungeon crawls. I'm also curious about other role playing games, I've heard of a few that seem intriguing ("Lasers and Feelings"?)
Where do I even start with this? Hardly any of my friends are interested in role playing games so starting my own group among my friends doesn't seem feasible. How can I find out about existing, online groups who might be open to a new player? Another problem is that I'm in South Africa, so time zones might be an issue.
I see that you can search for groups on roll20, for example, but that seems pretty hit and miss. Also, I'm a 49 year old woman and I suspect that I would make an awkward fit for a typical group of players. I'm a relative beginner, but have played for about 2 years so understand the mechanics. I prefer more narrative driven games with interesting interactions with NPCs to "fight and loot" dungeon crawls. I'm also curious about other role playing games, I've heard of a few that seem intriguing ("Lasers and Feelings"?)
Where do I even start with this? Hardly any of my friends are interested in role playing games so starting my own group among my friends doesn't seem feasible. How can I find out about existing, online groups who might be open to a new player? Another problem is that I'm in South Africa, so time zones might be an issue.
I talked to my sister who is an experienced player and DM, and also in your (and my) age group.
She unfortunately can't take on any more players, plus her group meets on Saturday night at 8 EST, which would be 3am your time.
She recommended a few things though. One was to look at the Reddit called 'Looking for Groups' and to post what you posted here. The other was to look for Waterdeep Dragon Heist on roll20, as it's a 5E game that puts an emphasis on social interaction.
posted by Slothrop at 7:44 AM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
She unfortunately can't take on any more players, plus her group meets on Saturday night at 8 EST, which would be 3am your time.
She recommended a few things though. One was to look at the Reddit called 'Looking for Groups' and to post what you posted here. The other was to look for Waterdeep Dragon Heist on roll20, as it's a 5E game that puts an emphasis on social interaction.
posted by Slothrop at 7:44 AM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Search for local game stores. Find their social media pages and see if there's "looking for group" postings. This is how many people I know play D&D and other games which are done online these days.
You could also search for game stores anywhere in your general time zone that share your favorite language.
posted by SoberHighland at 8:00 AM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
You could also search for game stores anywhere in your general time zone that share your favorite language.
posted by SoberHighland at 8:00 AM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Another entry point: You could look for organized play groups, ideally connected to local stores or your area. Adventurer's League for D&D, for example. Many of them schedule on Warhorn, and they are by definition open to drop-ins.
Organized play probably isn't what you're looking for long term. But you can get to know the play styles of some people, and many groups run message or chat boards somewhere (like Discord) you could say you're looking for a game or to set up your own game once you know some of the people.
If you want to try other games I would definitely take advantage of the online conventions during the Covid era--I "went" to GenCon for the first time last year and played a couple new-to-me games.
posted by mark k at 10:43 AM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Organized play probably isn't what you're looking for long term. But you can get to know the play styles of some people, and many groups run message or chat boards somewhere (like Discord) you could say you're looking for a game or to set up your own game once you know some of the people.
If you want to try other games I would definitely take advantage of the online conventions during the Covid era--I "went" to GenCon for the first time last year and played a couple new-to-me games.
posted by mark k at 10:43 AM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Roll20 have a LFG forum.
You might try posting as a player looking for a group, but it usually works better if you go through the DMs posts & find the game that most suits your interests and contact the DM. Most DMs there give pretty detailed descriptions of times, system etc and wanting a game with mature players is a pretty common request so it shouldn't be awkward at all. As is wanting roleplay heavy etc.
If you have the money there are paid DMs posting there as well, who will often put together games based on what the players want to put together.
Either way you may have to try out a few groups until you find one that clicks, much like finding a D&D group in RL.
posted by wwax at 10:47 AM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
You might try posting as a player looking for a group, but it usually works better if you go through the DMs posts & find the game that most suits your interests and contact the DM. Most DMs there give pretty detailed descriptions of times, system etc and wanting a game with mature players is a pretty common request so it shouldn't be awkward at all. As is wanting roleplay heavy etc.
If you have the money there are paid DMs posting there as well, who will often put together games based on what the players want to put together.
Either way you may have to try out a few groups until you find one that clicks, much like finding a D&D group in RL.
posted by wwax at 10:47 AM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
For D&D, there's an LFG (looking for group) subreddit that seems pretty well trafficked. I've also had decent luck finding one-shots on the DMAcademy subreddit Discord.
For other games, try looking for a Discord associated with that game or game publisher -- you may find a LFG channel within that Discord. For instance, Rowan Rook & Decard (makers of Honey Heist, Spire, Heart, Goblin Quest, and a whole heckin' lot of other games) maintain a Discord with a lively LFG channel. Lasers & Feelings has a (smallish) Discord channel, as does Blades in the Dark, a game by the same creator. Basically, if you search "Discord" and the game you're interested, chances are good you'll turn something up.
posted by ourobouros at 12:29 PM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
For other games, try looking for a Discord associated with that game or game publisher -- you may find a LFG channel within that Discord. For instance, Rowan Rook & Decard (makers of Honey Heist, Spire, Heart, Goblin Quest, and a whole heckin' lot of other games) maintain a Discord with a lively LFG channel. Lasers & Feelings has a (smallish) Discord channel, as does Blades in the Dark, a game by the same creator. Basically, if you search "Discord" and the game you're interested, chances are good you'll turn something up.
posted by ourobouros at 12:29 PM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
As an adult who also wants to play with like minded people...... you should DM your own group!
posted by bradbane at 12:32 PM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by bradbane at 12:32 PM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
I would not start with 5E - despite its simplification, the combats are long and have a sort of canned feeling (I play my every round action - Blah1, I play my once a combat action - Blah2, oh and my once every 5-10 round action - Blah3) and scale poorly with many enemies.
Pathfinder has its problems (its easy to kill low-lev chars and complex in odd ways) but that's been improved on recently and you can have house rules like "start with an additional 10 health" if you spot gaps or have a second char ready to go, and pick simpler classes and skip a lot of the optional stuff.
You could also start with something simple and quirky that you all learn together like Mouse Guard, Dread, Quest, Cthulu etc, first session is making chars and second can be trying out combat and interactions, 3rd is where it really starts.
DMing is rough at first - you might run into too many quiet people or too many leaders or one or more creeps, but its very rewarding if you stick with it, and if you build a decent group then they eventually give you a turn to play. Also good to have some simple set of upfront rules (no sexism, no racism) and do a quick poll of things unacceptable to people (some people freak out about odd stuff like cursed items) so you don't run into them accidentally.
posted by meepmeow at 12:56 PM on January 20, 2021
Pathfinder has its problems (its easy to kill low-lev chars and complex in odd ways) but that's been improved on recently and you can have house rules like "start with an additional 10 health" if you spot gaps or have a second char ready to go, and pick simpler classes and skip a lot of the optional stuff.
You could also start with something simple and quirky that you all learn together like Mouse Guard, Dread, Quest, Cthulu etc, first session is making chars and second can be trying out combat and interactions, 3rd is where it really starts.
DMing is rough at first - you might run into too many quiet people or too many leaders or one or more creeps, but its very rewarding if you stick with it, and if you build a decent group then they eventually give you a turn to play. Also good to have some simple set of upfront rules (no sexism, no racism) and do a quick poll of things unacceptable to people (some people freak out about odd stuff like cursed items) so you don't run into them accidentally.
posted by meepmeow at 12:56 PM on January 20, 2021
If you're open to more narrative, non-D&D games, Magpie Games offers Curated Play. I've done a few, and they're a lot of fun. In my experience, the GMs and players have been very inviting and inclusive. Time zone might be an issue though, but they usually have a few 2-6 pm sessions which would be 9-12 for you I think?
posted by Garm at 2:22 PM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Garm at 2:22 PM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
I just saw a notice go up for a virtual RPG convention that you might be interested in! It's GMT+8, so perhaps doable in your time zone? It's called Session Zero Con, and it's specifically focused on Southeast Asian creators, settings, and themes. There will be play tables for games, too. I've personally really enjoyed being able to attend cons online this year -- perhaps this one will give you a chance to play and find some folks to play with.
posted by ourobouros at 9:15 AM on January 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by ourobouros at 9:15 AM on January 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks for all the help!
Ourobouros thanks, I will check that out. Looks great, actually.
I thought I'd just report back in case my experience is useful to anyone else with this same question :)
I found an existing local D&D facebook group and joined them. It was just FULL of posts by people looking for games, and none of them got responses so that didn't seem the right way to go. Especially as a new group member. Instead I made a post "hi I'm a new member" and asking how people are finding playing D&D online, and what tech they use etc. That got me a lot of very friendly responses as it set off a discussion on the pros and cons of online play, so I was able to get to know some of the community members by chatting and sharing jokes. And then I got an offer to join a game! Still finding out more about it, but at least it's a start.
posted by Zumbador at 9:55 PM on January 22, 2021 [5 favorites]
Ourobouros thanks, I will check that out. Looks great, actually.
I thought I'd just report back in case my experience is useful to anyone else with this same question :)
I found an existing local D&D facebook group and joined them. It was just FULL of posts by people looking for games, and none of them got responses so that didn't seem the right way to go. Especially as a new group member. Instead I made a post "hi I'm a new member" and asking how people are finding playing D&D online, and what tech they use etc. That got me a lot of very friendly responses as it set off a discussion on the pros and cons of online play, so I was able to get to know some of the community members by chatting and sharing jokes. And then I got an offer to join a game! Still finding out more about it, but at least it's a start.
posted by Zumbador at 9:55 PM on January 22, 2021 [5 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
By being the first mover on assembling the group, it pretty much means YOU need to DM. With that in mind, I recommend basic 5E as it's pretty easy and popular to run.
Usually, the most important thing to keeping a group going, is interest from all parties and scheduling. I usually begin with scheduling and work from there.
Example post on facebook mom's group, subreddit, etc:
"Hi! I'm a 45 year old south african looking to play D&D at 7AM EST every saturday. I'm new to D&D, but I'm planning on DMing - if anyone wants to join my 7AM EST saturday group - send me a message or comment below! New players welcome!"
This kind of thing usually gets 3-4 responses in my experience, and usually a few of them bring friends. And, of course, you should bring your friends, too!
posted by bbqturtle at 6:54 AM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]