Father died without a will. What now?

September 17, 2020 3:29 PM

I have been estranged from my father for 18 years. I learned today that he has died. I also learned that he owned a home (not paid for), a vehicle, and has money in the bank. He was not married (my mother divorced him 25 years ago), and had no significant other. I am in NC, if that matters. I’ve been executor of an estate before, but there was a will. What do I do in this case?

His remains are at a crematorium, as he apparently wished to be cremated. Do I start with them to try to get a death certificate? How can I establish I’m next of kin if he didn’t tell the hospital he had any children?

I’m usually super practical. And in a way, my father died a long time ago. But this has thrown me, and I wonder if any MeFite has experience with this scenario. Thank you.

posted by little mouth to Human Relations (11 answers total)

Sudden Death of Parent...Nobody Knows Who the Trustee Is

Summary of that thread: lawyer up and obtain lots of copies of the death certificate. Take care of yourself.
posted by Fukiyama at 3:49 PM on September 17, 2020 [3 favorites]

The disposition of the house probably depends on which state it's located in. You'll want to consult a lawyer in that state about intestate succession. IANYL/TINLA.
posted by Schielisque at 4:24 PM on September 17, 2020

If he has not been cremated yet, ask for a dna sample to be preserved just in case there are weird issues with proving you are his child.
posted by Sophont at 4:35 PM on September 17, 2020 [4 favorites]

Best answer: Talk to the funeral home as they can likely help you with the death certificates, or at least tell you who to call. Get 20 copies, it's hard to go back and get more. You may well end up with 15 of them unused - when my dad died earlier this year, a scan/fax was sufficient for a lot of things that had needed paper the last time I had to do any of this stuff - but it's impossible to know until you're done.

Do you have a birth certificate, and if so does it have his name on it? Unless someone else comes out of the woodwork wanting to fight you for executorship, that is probably sufficient for bona fides for probate.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:45 PM on September 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

Seconding Lyn Never about the DCs. If you need more later, they'll be harder to get and more expensive, and you'll really be mad at yourself for not getting enough.
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 5:20 PM on September 17, 2020

Dying without a will is called dying "intestate" Google that plus the state where your father lived and you will get an idea about the process. For example in Santa Clara County, California, you can see a FAQ about how the options on how probate is handled and what happens if you die without a will. (pretty much the same process as you have already done but the distribution happens according to state law since there is no will to provide instructions.

You will probably want to go to your father's house and do a really good search through his paperwork to identify what he owns, what he owes, and if there is anyone in his life who might think that they have a claim on his things. Who know, you may even turn up a will.

I don't think the crematorium will give you a hard time about next of kin as long as no one else is stepping in although they may then expect you to pay for their services which is a different topic. Similarly, I don' t think you have to provide proof of relationship to get a copy of a death certificate. You may need to document the relationship when you file court papers to appointed as the administrator/executor (I don't know for sure about that but a lawyer can help you through it.)
posted by metahawk at 6:03 PM on September 17, 2020

I’m just curious. You say he apparently wanted to be cremated. How did that happen? Who knew that? Maybe they know other information? How were they authorized to make that decision?
posted by cali59 at 6:35 PM on September 17, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Part of this depends on how much you want to get involved and if you are the closest next of kin. If you would like to be involved and you are the closest next of kin: yes, go to the house, root through paperwork, talk to the funeral home about getting death certificates (I got ten and I needed like four because a lot of people would accept digital copies, but YMMV a lot) and then step through this process. Do you know he didn't have a will? You can check with the local court system and.or check with paperwork. Check that other thread there is good advice.

If you do not want to be involved: you don't have to be. If you'd like the number for MeFi's resident death expert, ColdChef, feel free to MeMail me, he's always available to help answer questions.
posted by jessamyn at 7:26 PM on September 17, 2020 [4 favorites]

If you have your birth certificate, that should prove you are his child. If a person dies intestate, the usual inheritance path is spouse, then children, full stop. If you are an only child and can prove as such with your birth certificate, the court should accept that and it should be relatively straightforward.

nthing get way more copies of the death certificate than you think you need. At least 20. I got 30 copies for my parent, who had various retirement, bank, and other accounts who all required a certified copy. I only have a few left.
posted by bedhead at 5:56 AM on September 18, 2020

Response by poster: Thanks so much for the helpful responses. I was able to go to his house today, and although there’s definitely no will, there is enough other documentation that I now have a clearer path forward.
posted by little mouth at 3:10 PM on September 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

Everyone seems to assume this, but are you the only child, in or out of marriage? All children will have rights.
posted by uncaken at 8:51 PM on September 18, 2020