Gift still to come

September 10, 2020 2:37 AM

Giving a gift for a wedding that is currently out of stock. It will be shipped about a month after the wedding. How can I explain this in a cute way?

The recipient is a close family member so they won't mind the wait, but I'd like to write something more than "Your gift is x, it will be here in a month". Any ideas? Thanks!

posted by anonymous to Writing & Language (7 answers total)

Per standard etiquette advice, you have up to a year from the ceremony to give your gift without committing a faux pas. COVID-19 celebration accommodations aside, it’s also a kindness to reduce the number of boxes the couple has to deal with after the wedding and reception. If they’re going on a honeymoon, the timing is perfect. I say don’t spoil the surprise and let your gift brighten their day a month hence.
posted by carmicha at 2:52 AM on September 10, 2020 [4 favorites]

Current convention says you have 3 months after the wedding to send a gift.

I wouldn't tell them what the gift is. Just mention it casually in a conversation "Your wedding gift won't be arriving until around x Date - I just want to make sure it's sent to the right place for you to receive it! Is xxx the correct address to ship it to?"

Just give them a card on the day congratulating them and wishing them joy and thanking them for the invitation to join in their celebrations. You know, normal heartfelt wedding messages. I think mentioning the gift is a bit... tacky?
posted by like_neon at 2:56 AM on September 10, 2020 [2 favorites]

We've not done it for a wedding gift, but when we've run into this situation on other gift-giving occasions (birthdays, christmas, etc.) we've printed-out a pic of the intended gift, put it in a small box, and wrapped it as if it were a regular gift. We would include a personal note with the pic explaining the situation in a (hopefully) humorous way.

Since it's a good family member, you could also tape the pic and note to a large brick, and wrap that up in a bigger box, so it has the weight of a real gift. We've done that, too.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:06 AM on September 10, 2020 [4 favorites]

Doesn't have to be a brick, something useless the recipient will have to deal with. Instead, with your explanatory note, include a small treat, chocolate or some nice cookies or whatever, they can enjoy while opening the rest of the boxes/envelopes. That's always appreciated.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:16 AM on September 10, 2020 [8 favorites]

As someone who recently got married, I wouldn’t just NOT mention it. But I do think you can be vague. Just say “your gift is on back order and should arrive around (date), congrats!”
posted by DoubleLune at 5:22 AM on September 10, 2020 [1 favorite]

"So that you can give it the appropriate level of attention, we thought our gift should make its own entrance. Fashionably late, of course. (It should be with you by...)"
posted by knapah at 5:50 AM on September 10, 2020 [12 favorites]

I would go with something along the lines of: “My gift to you guys is so great that demand was high and it was back ordered! It will be coming soon though and hopefully it will be worth the wait!”
(You can tone down the pep/bombast of course depending on your style/audience!)
posted by pie_seven at 6:20 AM on September 10, 2020