How to support new parents in another city?
November 29, 2019 1:21 PM Subscribe
My brother and his partner very recently had their first child, and I am unable to visit them for the foreseeable future. I'm guessing that it might feel more isolating or challenging to manage a newborn when they are on their own in a city without a nearby network of friends and family. If you've ever been in the position of raising a child without easy access to a "village", was there anything that worked especially well for you? And particularly, are there any products or services that I could send from afar that would be genuinely helpful?
I've already sent a gift from their registry, I'm just hoping to add something "extra" that would make their day-to-day routines (or lack of routines, for now) a little easier. They live in a big city and do not have a car, so maybe something that could facilitate transportation? Any ideas are appreciated!
I've already sent a gift from their registry, I'm just hoping to add something "extra" that would make their day-to-day routines (or lack of routines, for now) a little easier. They live in a big city and do not have a car, so maybe something that could facilitate transportation? Any ideas are appreciated!
Diaper delivery? Or I think there are services that wash cloth diapers if they’re going that way.
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:53 PM on November 29, 2019
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:53 PM on November 29, 2019
The first two months go by in a blur of feeding, diapers and sleeplessness. The most useful present for me was a constant stream of food, especially food that could be eaten with one hand (because we didn’t get to eat a meal without one of us holding or feeding the baby until at least month three). Could you continue the meal delivery service beyond the first two weeks? Set up an Instacart or Amazon Fresh delivery with all their staples delivered each week for the first month?
posted by saltypup at 1:57 PM on November 29, 2019
posted by saltypup at 1:57 PM on November 29, 2019
I’m not sure if this is quite what you mean by meal service delivery, so sorry if this is repeating something you know, but I periodically send my daughter (mom of five) gift certificates for a company that ships frozen meals, which she loves. I only have personal experience with Veestro, which is vegan, but there are other companies that do this.
For something fancier and less practical, Zingermans has a new baby midnight feeding gift basket.
For new parents, the less time they have to put into feeding themselves, the better.
posted by FencingGal at 2:47 PM on November 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
For something fancier and less practical, Zingermans has a new baby midnight feeding gift basket.
For new parents, the less time they have to put into feeding themselves, the better.
posted by FencingGal at 2:47 PM on November 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
Seconding food. The best baby gift my wife and I got with our first child was two huge pans of lasagna. That became lunch and dinner (and sometimes breakfast) for a week.
Next best gift was a small backpack with baby supplies. As soon as we started to leave the house again, we were well provided with the things required when traveling with a baby. It was awesome.
We used a surprising quantity of hand sanitizer. Not only did we apply it to our own hands, but anytime we went places where friends were likely to want to hold the baby we set some out beforehand, and everyone took the hint.
And with the frequent sanitizing and hand washing, we found we needed a lot of hand lotion to prevent chapping. A really nice bottle or jar of high quality hand lotion would be a very thoughtful gift.
We also went through a large number of baby "blankets" each day. Just a square yard of colorful, patterned flannel with the edges hemmed. They were used to burrito wrap the little girl for sleep, or to put under her while changing. The different patterns allowed us to keep track: "the dinosaur one is clean, but I already used the balloons and the jungle animals." We used those a lot!
posted by wjm at 2:50 PM on November 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
Next best gift was a small backpack with baby supplies. As soon as we started to leave the house again, we were well provided with the things required when traveling with a baby. It was awesome.
We used a surprising quantity of hand sanitizer. Not only did we apply it to our own hands, but anytime we went places where friends were likely to want to hold the baby we set some out beforehand, and everyone took the hint.
And with the frequent sanitizing and hand washing, we found we needed a lot of hand lotion to prevent chapping. A really nice bottle or jar of high quality hand lotion would be a very thoughtful gift.
We also went through a large number of baby "blankets" each day. Just a square yard of colorful, patterned flannel with the edges hemmed. They were used to burrito wrap the little girl for sleep, or to put under her while changing. The different patterns allowed us to keep track: "the dinosaur one is clean, but I already used the balloons and the jungle animals." We used those a lot!
posted by wjm at 2:50 PM on November 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
A couple of grocery bags worth of snacks: healthy and not healthy. These will help in the first sleepless weeks when you have no sense of what time of day it is and don’t even want to deal with heating things up that might involve dishes or cleaning up.
posted by sciencegeek at 3:48 PM on November 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by sciencegeek at 3:48 PM on November 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
What's their laundry situation? When I was a new parent in a big city without helpful people nearby, getting laundry done was my worst issue (the laundromat was several blocks away). Is there any service in their area that will deal with their laundry for them?
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:28 PM on November 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:28 PM on November 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
When I was a new parent, the most luxurious thing in the world was having my parents or inlaws spend the night with the baby so we could both get a full night's sleep. If that's not an option, there are folks who will do the same thing for money. Night nannies are expensive, but two or three (not necessarily consecutive!) nights can make a world of difference to sleep-deprived new parents.
posted by kdar at 11:16 PM on November 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by kdar at 11:16 PM on November 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
I wouldn't get them hand lotion or disinfectant wipes in case they or the baby have any sensitivities to common chemicals. (I'm allergic to the most common versions of both.)
posted by limeonaire at 1:13 PM on November 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by limeonaire at 1:13 PM on November 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks for the suggestions! I'm going to extend the cleaning services for them and food's going to be covered by some friends for a while.
posted by monkeys with typewriters at 9:23 AM on December 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by monkeys with typewriters at 9:23 AM on December 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by monkeys with typewriters at 1:23 PM on November 29, 2019