Help me shut this doll up fast
March 16, 2019 8:16 PM Subscribe
Kid bought giant plastic doll in Istanbul, we discovered it has a touch voicebox on the belly that shouts in Turkish. In three hours we are at a long serious church service and she desperately wants to bring the doll with her. How do I silence the doll? Google just returns endless creepy doll movie and trachetomy care results, and I have a weeping child with a giant screaming Turkish doll on my hands. HELP
Response by poster: There is no battery as far as I can tell. Here's a photograph of the belly.
I'm happy for her to bring the doll, and church services allow kids to have toys for quiet play during services over their absence.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 8:30 PM on March 16, 2019
I'm happy for her to bring the doll, and church services allow kids to have toys for quiet play during services over their absence.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 8:30 PM on March 16, 2019
If you are serious about bringing the doll, some doll surgey may be required to snip the connection from the switch to the speaker. Small scissors and a needle and thread- try and go in via a seam. Do the surgery out of view to avoid traumatic public doll surgery!
Water to damage the speaker- but not a lot of time before the service to dry!
Different church services have different expectations for children- in my book a quiet doll would be fine.
posted by freethefeet at 8:35 PM on March 16, 2019
Water to damage the speaker- but not a lot of time before the service to dry!
Different church services have different expectations for children- in my book a quiet doll would be fine.
posted by freethefeet at 8:35 PM on March 16, 2019
Best answer: On seeing the photo, can you lever out the offending loud bit with the end of a spoon? You might be able to stuff the hole with something temporarily, or turkish bubby could rock a tummy piercing?
posted by freethefeet at 8:37 PM on March 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by freethefeet at 8:37 PM on March 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
Best answer: The outer plastic ring will probably come off with a quarter turn counter-clockwise. Snip a wire to the speaker. Repair later, or have a handy friend do. Also, if you get the speaker out, you may see a coin cell battery that you can just take out and replace later.
posted by Grumpy old geek at 8:48 PM on March 16, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by Grumpy old geek at 8:48 PM on March 16, 2019 [7 favorites]
Best answer: If you want to kill the voice permanently, just immerse the doll to the neck. It'll short out everything inside. You can probably use a spray bottle to squirt water directly into the speaker too if you don't want to immerse it or you don't have time to let it dry properly before church.
There is a battery in there, even if it's not going to be easily accessed. The other option is to try and crack its head or a limb off and have a look for wires to cut.
On Preview: grumpy old geek is probably right about turning the bit at the front, too, but it'll be a hell of a job. Any battery compartment with swallowable contents needs to be childproof, so it might take a *lot* of turning.
posted by Jilder at 8:50 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
There is a battery in there, even if it's not going to be easily accessed. The other option is to try and crack its head or a limb off and have a look for wires to cut.
On Preview: grumpy old geek is probably right about turning the bit at the front, too, but it'll be a hell of a job. Any battery compartment with swallowable contents needs to be childproof, so it might take a *lot* of turning.
posted by Jilder at 8:50 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
If you put something in the recesses either side of the speaker and turn (probably anti clockwise) does the electronic bit come out? There will be a battery somewhere.
posted by deadwax at 8:51 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by deadwax at 8:51 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
Cram some play doh down in the speaker holes.
posted by phunniemee at 9:08 PM on March 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 9:08 PM on March 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I'd try Grumpy old geek's suggestion of trying to rotate either the outer ring to detach it from the chest, or possibly the speaker to try to detach it from the outer ring, but if neither one of those options seemed to be working, next I'd try:
get a standard, flat-bladed screwdriver, and try to insert it under the edge of the outer ring and either rotate the screwdriver blade to try to pop out the speaker, or slide the blade around the edge of the ring and continue to try to work it out of the chest hole. If that didn't work I'd try inserting the screwdriver blade in the inner notch of the speaker ring and trying to pry open the speaker or push it inwards.
If either of these worked then I'd try to locate the battery inside and remove it if possible, or cut a wire to the speaker, which could be fixed later.
posted by Reverend John at 9:35 PM on March 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
get a standard, flat-bladed screwdriver, and try to insert it under the edge of the outer ring and either rotate the screwdriver blade to try to pop out the speaker, or slide the blade around the edge of the ring and continue to try to work it out of the chest hole. If that didn't work I'd try inserting the screwdriver blade in the inner notch of the speaker ring and trying to pry open the speaker or push it inwards.
If either of these worked then I'd try to locate the battery inside and remove it if possible, or cut a wire to the speaker, which could be fixed later.
posted by Reverend John at 9:35 PM on March 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Please accept the best wishes from our family for your problem. We have been very very anxious to silence a doll in the past; amazing how nervewracking even without a church service involved.
And PLEASE let us know the outcome! Thank you!
posted by kestralwing at 10:12 PM on March 16, 2019 [8 favorites]
And PLEASE let us know the outcome! Thank you!
posted by kestralwing at 10:12 PM on March 16, 2019 [8 favorites]
Those 2 slots in the outer ring are the key. Get some needle-nose pliers in there and turn.
posted by M-x shell at 10:18 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by M-x shell at 10:18 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
Duct tape over the speaker holes ; can be removed later
posted by tilde at 11:06 PM on March 16, 2019
posted by tilde at 11:06 PM on March 16, 2019
Best answer: There is no battery as far as I can tell
Purely mechanical doll voice boxes are vanishingly rare in 2019 and would in any case require more than a touch to bring on the shouty. So there have to be batteries.
There is no reason I can think of why the outer ring should have slots in it other than as a means to provide a way to turn that ring, presumably to release the voice box in order to get access to the battery compartment. So I'm with those who recommend extending "as far as you can tell" further until you do find the batteries. There is no need to ruin the mechanism until you're completely over being shouted at in Turkish, by which time you should already be able to fix that by pulling the batteries and leaving them pulled.
posted by flabdablet at 11:22 PM on March 16, 2019 [5 favorites]
Purely mechanical doll voice boxes are vanishingly rare in 2019 and would in any case require more than a touch to bring on the shouty. So there have to be batteries.
There is no reason I can think of why the outer ring should have slots in it other than as a means to provide a way to turn that ring, presumably to release the voice box in order to get access to the battery compartment. So I'm with those who recommend extending "as far as you can tell" further until you do find the batteries. There is no need to ruin the mechanism until you're completely over being shouted at in Turkish, by which time you should already be able to fix that by pulling the batteries and leaving them pulled.
posted by flabdablet at 11:22 PM on March 16, 2019 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: Nail file, pried open with the twist recommended and then unscrewed with file and voila, tiny batteries! Doll was repaired just in time to attend service in silence. Thank you for the tips.
Orthodox church services vary, but my parish has always encouraged children to remain in service with toys if needed and given our services can run four hours in multiple languages, that's a lot for small children. My boundary with my daughter is to keep promises like yes I will try to fix your doll so she can come to church so she trusts me when I say the doll can't go somewhere for a reason.
It is a hideous 4 ft tall doll that looks like a plastic melted wax version of her and she loves it desperately.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 3:44 AM on March 17, 2019 [87 favorites]
Orthodox church services vary, but my parish has always encouraged children to remain in service with toys if needed and given our services can run four hours in multiple languages, that's a lot for small children. My boundary with my daughter is to keep promises like yes I will try to fix your doll so she can come to church so she trusts me when I say the doll can't go somewhere for a reason.
It is a hideous 4 ft tall doll that looks like a plastic melted wax version of her and she loves it desperately.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 3:44 AM on March 17, 2019 [87 favorites]
Just be sure to put those tiny batteries somewhere away from your child! Those things are seriously bad news if swallowed.
posted by amro at 4:29 AM on March 17, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by amro at 4:29 AM on March 17, 2019 [6 favorites]
Oh Please upload what the doll sounds like before you silence it forever! I've never heard a screaming doll in Turkish.
posted by james33 at 4:30 AM on March 17, 2019 [29 favorites]
posted by james33 at 4:30 AM on March 17, 2019 [29 favorites]
I'd also like to see and hear this doll. Great job on the surgery!
posted by Fig at 5:38 AM on March 17, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by Fig at 5:38 AM on March 17, 2019 [6 favorites]
This doll does deserve a pic tax...for science of course (or any other parent who has a child who decides large Turkish dolls with odd battery compartments are in need of silencing)
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:09 AM on March 17, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:09 AM on March 17, 2019 [11 favorites]
This is in the running for my favorite AskMe question ever.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:58 AM on March 17, 2019 [28 favorites]
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:58 AM on March 17, 2019 [28 favorites]
I feel like the recommendations above can be the basis of some sort of personality test.
posted by pykrete jungle at 10:18 AM on March 17, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by pykrete jungle at 10:18 AM on March 17, 2019 [10 favorites]
This is in the running for my favorite AskMe question ever.
Number two after Minty!
posted by jgirl at 10:47 AM on March 17, 2019
I'm still laughing at this and shivering in relief for you. Can we get a photo of your girl and her doll, for closure??
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:37 AM on March 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:37 AM on March 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
But then what if the poor child becomes internet famous as "Turkish Doll Mom" forevermore? Could we get video of the doll running through its repertoire?
posted by Don Pepino at 9:41 AM on March 18, 2019
posted by Don Pepino at 9:41 AM on March 18, 2019
Response by poster: I did not get video before the silencing, but my daughter asked the hotel clerk to translate and he said it was "please feed me, play with me mama, change my diaper" type phrases. They were in childishly lisped turkish so middle of the night, a little scary.
I try not to link photos of my kids to non public accounts, so here is the doll alone. Tiara and hair by my daughter, general grubbiness from being dragged by one ankle across Istanbul and soulless stare provided by manufacturer.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 11:17 AM on March 18, 2019 [19 favorites]
I try not to link photos of my kids to non public accounts, so here is the doll alone. Tiara and hair by my daughter, general grubbiness from being dragged by one ankle across Istanbul and soulless stare provided by manufacturer.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 11:17 AM on March 18, 2019 [19 favorites]
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posted by fingersandtoes at 8:22 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]