Superlatives
October 15, 2018 6:36 AM Subscribe
I like to flirt with the woman I'm dating by texting things like "I look forward to once again bathing in the radiance of your charm and beauty." (I don't know where I heard this first, but doesn't matter).
Please give me other such superlatives to show that I am looking forward to seeing her.
Reddit has a whole funny subreddit dedicated to these, like
posted by JonB at 7:01 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by JonB at 7:01 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Gosh, nothing says you’re special like a generic cut and paste message sent to multiple women.
OP did say "woman I'm dating", so maybw we should assume he's talking about one woman in particular who likes these types of messages.
posted by bearette at 7:09 AM on October 15, 2018 [16 favorites]
OP did say "woman I'm dating", so maybw we should assume he's talking about one woman in particular who likes these types of messages.
posted by bearette at 7:09 AM on October 15, 2018 [16 favorites]
It really depends on the person you're flirting with but unless you have an established joke around it, superlatives or over-the-top compliments often make the other person feel uncomfortable.
If you don't know for sure she's the type to appreciate that kind of thing, I'd suggest something more along the lines of "I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you again. "
posted by coffeeand at 7:10 AM on October 15, 2018 [6 favorites]
If you don't know for sure she's the type to appreciate that kind of thing, I'd suggest something more along the lines of "I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you again. "
posted by coffeeand at 7:10 AM on October 15, 2018 [6 favorites]
I knew a guy who used to use the word "luminous" a lot in these types of message.
posted by johngoren at 7:14 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by johngoren at 7:14 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Please note that I did not ask for commentary or opinions (though Bearette is on target fwiw). It's tongue-in-cheek fercrissakes. Over-the-top. I asked for phrases. If you don't have any then don't write.
posted by falsedmitri at 7:16 AM on October 15, 2018 [21 favorites]
posted by falsedmitri at 7:16 AM on October 15, 2018 [21 favorites]
These types of messages certainly have a certain and maligned vibe, but like Bearette said, I think we should be generous in our assumptions about OP and how the woman he's dating interprets them.
I've gotten some good tongue-in-cheek use of "Sun of my stars" and other astrological turns of phrase. Parks and Rec also has a few exemplary compliments.
On preview: What OP said.
posted by matrixclown at 7:19 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
I've gotten some good tongue-in-cheek use of "Sun of my stars" and other astrological turns of phrase. Parks and Rec also has a few exemplary compliments.
On preview: What OP said.
posted by matrixclown at 7:19 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
I like the extravagant compliments Leslie Knope gives Ann Perkins in Parks and Recreations (eg. naive, sophisticated newborn baby, opalescent tree shark, beautiful, talented, brillant, musk ox, cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish, rainbow infused space unicorn, beautiful, rule-breaking moth). I think the capture a certain spirit of exuberance you might be going for, but they also always have an element that's a bit out-of-left-field (not just with regard to the animal comparisons, but also with regard to the adjectives used), which makes them more memorable, less generic, more tailored to the individual.
But that's my taste. The important thing is that it works for your girlfriend. She might find that sort of compliments super eye-roll-inducing, overly precious, just too weird. Maybe she'd prefer you to keep it classical - eyes like the sun, lips like coral, cheeks like roses, breath like perfume - just work your way through the entire Petrarcan beauty catologue. Or maybe she holds with Shakespeare and would rather be considered just as rare, as any she belied with false compare. Sometimes less is more.
posted by sohalt at 7:23 AM on October 15, 2018 [16 favorites]
But that's my taste. The important thing is that it works for your girlfriend. She might find that sort of compliments super eye-roll-inducing, overly precious, just too weird. Maybe she'd prefer you to keep it classical - eyes like the sun, lips like coral, cheeks like roses, breath like perfume - just work your way through the entire Petrarcan beauty catologue. Or maybe she holds with Shakespeare and would rather be considered just as rare, as any she belied with false compare. Sometimes less is more.
posted by sohalt at 7:23 AM on October 15, 2018 [16 favorites]
FWIW I am a lady and popped into this thread to find aggressively formal flirtations to send to my fella. It’s fun and silly, two things that keep love going!
My fave dramatic declaration is this poem from Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
“My heart expands,
'tis grown a bulge in it,
Inspired by your beauty...
Effulgent."
posted by assenav at 7:26 AM on October 15, 2018 [9 favorites]
My fave dramatic declaration is this poem from Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
“My heart expands,
'tis grown a bulge in it,
Inspired by your beauty...
Effulgent."
posted by assenav at 7:26 AM on October 15, 2018 [9 favorites]
Well, if you're going to pay homage to or rip off the most bathetic of prose.. you could always lean on Nabokov's dialogue for the most (inappropriately) doting of characters, Humbert Humbert.
Equal parts doting, cringe, and humor and most definitely over the top.
posted by mikeh at 7:26 AM on October 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
Equal parts doting, cringe, and humor and most definitely over the top.
posted by mikeh at 7:26 AM on October 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
It can be fun to mine ancient poetry for these, because 1. if it stuck around this long it must be good and 2. some of the metaphors and references are downright weird to modern ears. Give ancient Roman emo fuckboy poet Catullus a look (not joking).
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:16 AM on October 15, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:16 AM on October 15, 2018 [4 favorites]
The OP hasn't gendered themselves in the post so maybe we shouldn't either.
Check out some Pablo Neruda poems. "I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees" is fun. :)
I don't think it's a coincidence that people are gendering OP as male. I share the concern others have expressed, that we are giving you material that will make someone uncomfortable. I'm getting texts like this right now from someone and it's uncomfortable af. For the sake of others who may come onto this thread looking for insight, I think it's valid for the point to be made that the sender has to be SURE that the receiver is into this stuff.
posted by ramenopres at 8:24 AM on October 15, 2018 [14 favorites]
Check out some Pablo Neruda poems. "I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees" is fun. :)
I don't think it's a coincidence that people are gendering OP as male. I share the concern others have expressed, that we are giving you material that will make someone uncomfortable. I'm getting texts like this right now from someone and it's uncomfortable af. For the sake of others who may come onto this thread looking for insight, I think it's valid for the point to be made that the sender has to be SURE that the receiver is into this stuff.
posted by ramenopres at 8:24 AM on October 15, 2018 [14 favorites]
This reminds me of the cringe-worthy Mr Collins in Pride and Prejudice ("I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments"), so you might look through some of his quotes for inspiration. This is something that would very much turn me off, personally.
posted by pinochiette at 8:53 AM on October 15, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by pinochiette at 8:53 AM on October 15, 2018 [9 favorites]
I think you should read 1001 Arabian Nights (the original adult version), maybe even with her, if you two enjoy that kind of thing.
It‘s full of amazing, overblown lovelorn exhortations and fun to read! (Also, erotic).
posted by Omnomnom at 9:01 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
It‘s full of amazing, overblown lovelorn exhortations and fun to read! (Also, erotic).
posted by Omnomnom at 9:01 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
I knew a couple that recited lyrics from Cole Porter's You're the Top to each other. Very fun to text if she'll recognize them - kind of weird if she won't.
For the sake of others who may come onto this thread looking for insight, I think it's valid for the point to be made that the sender has to be SURE that the receiver is into this stuff.
The point that the receiver has to be into it has been made numerous times, so I think we can quit making it.
posted by FencingGal at 9:04 AM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
For the sake of others who may come onto this thread looking for insight, I think it's valid for the point to be made that the sender has to be SURE that the receiver is into this stuff.
The point that the receiver has to be into it has been made numerous times, so I think we can quit making it.
posted by FencingGal at 9:04 AM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
The example in the original post reminds me of this line from They Might Be Giants’s “Ana Ng”:
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow
Of each other's majestic presence
posted by ejs at 9:14 AM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow
Of each other's majestic presence
posted by ejs at 9:14 AM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
"Life without you is like a broken pencil...pointless."
posted by chaiminda at 9:16 AM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by chaiminda at 9:16 AM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
This appeals to my love of words, here are some to play with:
"I look forward to once again ____A____ in the [awe-inspiring/wondrous/magical/beauteous/splendiforous/dazzling/fascinating/spell-binding/enchanting/seducing] ____B_____ of your __C___ and ___C___."
A - bathing/swimming/diving/basking/reveling/enjoying/relishing/delighting/flourishing/resting/unwinding
B - luminescence/glow/shine/aura/light/shining/gleaming
C - elegance/wit/grace/splendour/refinement/awesomeness/wonder/glamour/intelligence
posted by lafemma at 9:18 AM on October 15, 2018 [8 favorites]
"I look forward to once again ____A____ in the [awe-inspiring/wondrous/magical/beauteous/splendiforous/dazzling/fascinating/spell-binding/enchanting/seducing] ____B_____ of your __C___ and ___C___."
A - bathing/swimming/diving/basking/reveling/enjoying/relishing/delighting/flourishing/resting/unwinding
B - luminescence/glow/shine/aura/light/shining/gleaming
C - elegance/wit/grace/splendour/refinement/awesomeness/wonder/glamour/intelligence
posted by lafemma at 9:18 AM on October 15, 2018 [8 favorites]
Please please please work the word fart in there somewhere.
Your soul is the fart of roses &tc.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Your soul is the fart of roses &tc.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Well, there's this classic exchange from TNG, might be something in here (courtesy IMDB):
Wesley Crusher: [to Riker] What should I say? How do I act? What do I do?
Commander William T. Riker: Guinan, I need your help. Could you step over here a minute?
Guinan: Sounds simple enough.
Commander William T. Riker: [to Wesley] Now, first words out of your mouth are the most important. You may want to start with something like this.
[to Guinan]
Commander William T. Riker: You are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy...
[to Wesley]
Commander William T. Riker: But that might not work.
Guinan: Yes! Yes, it would.
Commander William T. Riker: [to Guinan] You don't know how long I've wanted to tell you that.
Guinan: But you were afraid.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes.
Guinan: Of me?
Commander William T. Riker: Of us. Of what we might become...
[Wesley tries to interrupt]
Commander William T. Riker: ... or that you might think that was a line.
Guinan: Maybe I do think it's a line.
Commander William T. Riker: Then you think I'm not sincere.
Guinan: I didn't say that. There's nothing wrong with a line. It's like a knock at the door.
Commander William T. Riker: Then you're inviting me in.
Guinan: I'm not sending you away.
Commander William T. Riker: That's more than I expected.
Guinan: Is it as much as you hoped?
Commander William T. Riker: To hope is to recognize the possibility; I had only dreams.
Guinan: Dreams can be dangerous.
Commander William T. Riker: Not these dreams. I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the stars and the universe worships the night.
Guinan: Careful. Putting me on a pedestal so high, you may not be able to reach me.
Commander William T. Riker: Then I'll learn how to fly. You are the heart in my day and the soul in my night.
Wesley Crusher: [interrupting] I don't think this is my style.
Guinan: Shut up, kid!
[to Riker, saucily]
Guinan: Tell me more about my eyes.
posted by BeeDo at 11:26 AM on October 15, 2018 [9 favorites]
Wesley Crusher: [to Riker] What should I say? How do I act? What do I do?
Commander William T. Riker: Guinan, I need your help. Could you step over here a minute?
Guinan: Sounds simple enough.
Commander William T. Riker: [to Wesley] Now, first words out of your mouth are the most important. You may want to start with something like this.
[to Guinan]
Commander William T. Riker: You are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy...
[to Wesley]
Commander William T. Riker: But that might not work.
Guinan: Yes! Yes, it would.
Commander William T. Riker: [to Guinan] You don't know how long I've wanted to tell you that.
Guinan: But you were afraid.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes.
Guinan: Of me?
Commander William T. Riker: Of us. Of what we might become...
[Wesley tries to interrupt]
Commander William T. Riker: ... or that you might think that was a line.
Guinan: Maybe I do think it's a line.
Commander William T. Riker: Then you think I'm not sincere.
Guinan: I didn't say that. There's nothing wrong with a line. It's like a knock at the door.
Commander William T. Riker: Then you're inviting me in.
Guinan: I'm not sending you away.
Commander William T. Riker: That's more than I expected.
Guinan: Is it as much as you hoped?
Commander William T. Riker: To hope is to recognize the possibility; I had only dreams.
Guinan: Dreams can be dangerous.
Commander William T. Riker: Not these dreams. I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the stars and the universe worships the night.
Guinan: Careful. Putting me on a pedestal so high, you may not be able to reach me.
Commander William T. Riker: Then I'll learn how to fly. You are the heart in my day and the soul in my night.
Wesley Crusher: [interrupting] I don't think this is my style.
Guinan: Shut up, kid!
[to Riker, saucily]
Guinan: Tell me more about my eyes.
posted by BeeDo at 11:26 AM on October 15, 2018 [9 favorites]
Look up the song of Solomon (aka song of songs) from the king James bible. Beautiful, definitely odd to modern ears and surprisingly naughty in places.
posted by kadia_a at 1:40 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by kadia_a at 1:40 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
My husband once said he was beguiled by my eyes, in response to my comment, jeez it's your turn, are you ever going to play? I was speechless.
Another good one is drowning in the pools of your eyes.
Bask in your aura, tremble in your arms, listen to the music of your voice, something your shimmering presence, Shining hair, voluptuousness....
There are many superlatives. And look up How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
posted by Enid Lareg at 1:45 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Another good one is drowning in the pools of your eyes.
Bask in your aura, tremble in your arms, listen to the music of your voice, something your shimmering presence, Shining hair, voluptuousness....
There are many superlatives. And look up How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
posted by Enid Lareg at 1:45 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
My fella and I like to trade purple endearments. It sweetens my whole day to get one. Often we play off some event of the day, so if one of us had a weird dream about birds, the other will proclaim, "I adore you and all your wingbeats." Or, after a discussion of dessert, one of is greeted as gingerjam or keylime. He'll tell me I'm the tops, I'll call him my topsail. Maybe she's your harpstring; your skyscape; your cowgirl bebop.
posted by prewar lemonade at 2:05 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by prewar lemonade at 2:05 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
Anticipation of your glorious presence will be the most delightful part of each day till I see you again.
The pleasure of remembering your beauty and charm is only surpassed by the moment when I'm reminded that memory is a pale shadow of reality.
Or, just go with my favorite: call her "my delightful buttered blueberry muffin" in an otherwise mundane sentence.
"What time should we meet, my delightful buttered blueberry muffin?" My sweet and tart sugar-rimmed glass of cool lemonade. Frothy, warm cocoa of my heart. Etc.
posted by gideonfrog at 2:56 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
The pleasure of remembering your beauty and charm is only surpassed by the moment when I'm reminded that memory is a pale shadow of reality.
Or, just go with my favorite: call her "my delightful buttered blueberry muffin" in an otherwise mundane sentence.
"What time should we meet, my delightful buttered blueberry muffin?" My sweet and tart sugar-rimmed glass of cool lemonade. Frothy, warm cocoa of my heart. Etc.
posted by gideonfrog at 2:56 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
You grow more precious to me with every new restraining order.
I treasure our time together even more knowing how few lovers you still tolerate.
Without your love, I am like a Jarvik recipient, heartless.
Your kisses are like the best kind of farts, silent but deadly.
I yearn to feel our uvulas intertwine again.
posted by zaixfeep at 7:34 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I treasure our time together even more knowing how few lovers you still tolerate.
Without your love, I am like a Jarvik recipient, heartless.
Your kisses are like the best kind of farts, silent but deadly.
I yearn to feel our uvulas intertwine again.
posted by zaixfeep at 7:34 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I couldn't be more attracted to you if you were made of neodymium.
I died in your arms last night, and now I hunger for your brains.
My previous loves sent me over the moon, but you send me all the way to Uranus.
You are so stunning, I feel as though I've been Tasered.
I've developed a dairy fetish because I feel so much butter when I'm with you.
Your lips are so kissable, please don't leave them in your underwear drawer next time.
posted by zaixfeep at 8:06 AM on October 16, 2018
I died in your arms last night, and now I hunger for your brains.
My previous loves sent me over the moon, but you send me all the way to Uranus.
You are so stunning, I feel as though I've been Tasered.
I've developed a dairy fetish because I feel so much butter when I'm with you.
Your lips are so kissable, please don't leave them in your underwear drawer next time.
posted by zaixfeep at 8:06 AM on October 16, 2018
>Be aware that A Particular Kind of Man tends to send the messages you're looking to send, so much that it's a trope. I'd strongly caution you to pay close attention to how the women you send these messages to respond.
If this is a joke, its OK. However, some dudes don't get it is a joke. Make sure she knows it is one.
In that vein check out Smoove B.
Try also, I am reporting you to the Guiness Book of World Records for being the 8th Wonder of the World., etc.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:00 PM on October 19, 2018
If this is a joke, its OK. However, some dudes don't get it is a joke. Make sure she knows it is one.
In that vein check out Smoove B.
Try also, I am reporting you to the Guiness Book of World Records for being the 8th Wonder of the World., etc.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:00 PM on October 19, 2018
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Be aware that A Particular Kind of Man tends to send the messages you're looking to send, so much that it's a trope. I'd strongly caution you to pay close attention to how the women you send these messages to respond. If they're not responding in kind, they're probably not into it. (And decent chance they're sending screenshots to all their girlfriends with get-a-load-of-this-guy framing.)
That said, try and work the word resplendent in there somewhere. It's a fun word.
posted by phunniemee at 6:46 AM on October 15, 2018 [65 favorites]