Where should I move to?
April 27, 2018 3:04 PM Subscribe
I desperately need a change in my life and feel like moving somewhere new would help. Please help me figure out where to go.
I am depressed and bored with my life, and thinking that moving may help. I am in my early 30s. Single with no kids. I have no friends here. The only thing keeping me here is familiarity and family but I don’t mind moving away from family. I feel that there’s no future with my current SO. I don’t love the company I work for or the job I have. I currently live in a suburb of Philadelphia.
Basically, I have nothing keeping me here, I’m deeply unhappy and I feel that a change in living location might help. Problem is, I have no idea where to go. Please no one say “wherever you go, there you are” because I’ve heard that but I’m so desperate for a change that I’m willing to just try it and see if it works for me.
Things I think I want in a living location:
Sunny and mostly warm climate
Near the ocean
Single people around my age
A job in my field (pharma biotech)
Things to do, places to go (I’m not really into clubs but moreso cute quaint little coffee shops)
I'm thinking maybe Florida, as I want to stay in the US. Does anyone have any suggestions?
I am depressed and bored with my life, and thinking that moving may help. I am in my early 30s. Single with no kids. I have no friends here. The only thing keeping me here is familiarity and family but I don’t mind moving away from family. I feel that there’s no future with my current SO. I don’t love the company I work for or the job I have. I currently live in a suburb of Philadelphia.
Basically, I have nothing keeping me here, I’m deeply unhappy and I feel that a change in living location might help. Problem is, I have no idea where to go. Please no one say “wherever you go, there you are” because I’ve heard that but I’m so desperate for a change that I’m willing to just try it and see if it works for me.
Things I think I want in a living location:
Sunny and mostly warm climate
Near the ocean
Single people around my age
A job in my field (pharma biotech)
Things to do, places to go (I’m not really into clubs but moreso cute quaint little coffee shops)
I'm thinking maybe Florida, as I want to stay in the US. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Several people have noted to me that Houston is friendlier than some other locations around the country. You still have to work at it, but there are fewer cultural problems with making friends, they said.
A lot of biotech, a lot of traffic, a lot of heat and humidity, and very flat.
posted by Midnight Skulker at 3:25 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
A lot of biotech, a lot of traffic, a lot of heat and humidity, and very flat.
posted by Midnight Skulker at 3:25 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
Whether this would work for you depends on how "near the ocean" would count, but you might consider the Raleigh/Durham area. Definitely pharma biotech jobs, warm, ocean is a couple of hours away.
posted by jeoc at 3:30 PM on April 27, 2018
posted by jeoc at 3:30 PM on April 27, 2018
Yes San Diego.
EXCEPT
Know that it is easy living with a darkish under-current? I don't know quite how to put that?? There's something dead underneath San Diego, but it's agreat interim step to land on. You should definitely move. The world is large, go find your forever place.
posted by jbenben at 3:54 PM on April 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
EXCEPT
Know that it is easy living with a darkish under-current? I don't know quite how to put that?? There's something dead underneath San Diego, but it's agreat interim step to land on. You should definitely move. The world is large, go find your forever place.
posted by jbenben at 3:54 PM on April 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
Why don't you start the change by breaking up with your SO, and/or job-hunting? Much easier to think about specific places with "a job at X Hospital doing Y" versus "a job in Z company doing A" and picture the realities of living there.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 4:10 PM on April 27, 2018
posted by the agents of KAOS at 4:10 PM on April 27, 2018
Best answer: I live in San Diego and I work in pharma. Pharma is pretty insular here--it feels like everyone seems to know everybody. My company has been hiring a lot of new people in the last year.
Getting more sunlight and therefore more Vitamin D might boost your mood. The beaches here are beautiful and if you like surfing, kayaking, diving, or suntanning it's quite nice.
There's a wide spread of ages here in San Diego, and sites like meetup.com seem to work pretty well because of the density of the city. At the same time there's a huge variety in the neighborhoods and you can get a more urban or a less urban experience pretty easily if that's what you prefer. I live in the UTC area, which is the perfect amount of density for me.
There's 24 hour coffeeshops like Lestat's, a cat cafe, all kinds of bookstores and libraries, many small breweries, and free museums and activities at Balboa Park and other parks. Plenty of hiking and sightseeing and peoplewatching.
The three factors to note:
1. Cost of living.
2. You'll have to put in some effort to meet people (might be true in other places too).
3. The city may have a quietly conservative streak to it sometimes (not necessarily a downside).
posted by Iron Carbide at 4:24 PM on April 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
Getting more sunlight and therefore more Vitamin D might boost your mood. The beaches here are beautiful and if you like surfing, kayaking, diving, or suntanning it's quite nice.
There's a wide spread of ages here in San Diego, and sites like meetup.com seem to work pretty well because of the density of the city. At the same time there's a huge variety in the neighborhoods and you can get a more urban or a less urban experience pretty easily if that's what you prefer. I live in the UTC area, which is the perfect amount of density for me.
There's 24 hour coffeeshops like Lestat's, a cat cafe, all kinds of bookstores and libraries, many small breweries, and free museums and activities at Balboa Park and other parks. Plenty of hiking and sightseeing and peoplewatching.
The three factors to note:
1. Cost of living.
2. You'll have to put in some effort to meet people (might be true in other places too).
3. The city may have a quietly conservative streak to it sometimes (not necessarily a downside).
posted by Iron Carbide at 4:24 PM on April 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
I live in Savannah which is warm and full of young people, cafes, and has a beach 30 minutes away, but don't know about jobs for you. Maybe you should look for ads for appropriate jobs in your filed, eliminate the ones in cold places without beaches and then come back here and ask about the places they're in. Cost of living varies widely in the US. Unless you have a whole lot of savings don't go to a new place without a job.
posted by mareli at 4:28 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by mareli at 4:28 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
Cruise ship pharm tech. I did a search, looks like it's a real job. You would see sun and beaches, and any ship big enough to hire you is its own floating city.
(Other potential brainstorm options from my search result here.)
posted by aniola at 4:50 PM on April 27, 2018
(Other potential brainstorm options from my search result here.)
posted by aniola at 4:50 PM on April 27, 2018
Oh. And there would be a gajillion single shipmates, plenty in their early 30s.
posted by aniola at 7:44 PM on April 27, 2018
posted by aniola at 7:44 PM on April 27, 2018
+1 for San Diego
And, also, +1 for what jbenben said about there being something dark under the surface there.
Dead underneath? I don't know if I'd go that far. I think the dark undertone comes partly from the struggle to gain a footing and thrive there that a lot of people experience but few people talk about. Places like San Francisco and Los Angeles are honest about the ambition that brings people there and the hard work you put in to get established. San Diego likes to pretend that everything is always chill, all sunshine and flip-flops and drinking beer by the beach.. but it's not. Salaries are lower than people expect relative to the cost of living (that's the "sunshine tax") and there is a lot of competition for the available jobs. People work a lot and often struggle to make ends meet but you're not supposed to let that show.
I lived there for 10 years from my early 20s through my early 30s, and mostly my life there was good. I met smart and thoughtful people, lived in some great walkable neighborhoods, advanced my career, grew to love the landscape. The popular tourist areas are sterile and kind of creepy but neighborhoods further inland can really reward exploration. The area has a reputation for being quite conservative but within the city itself I found that not to be the case. There is a "live and let live" attitude I miss now that I live in more overtly leftist San Francisco. It's possible to do quite well for yourself there if you know what you're getting into.
posted by 4rtemis at 9:44 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
And, also, +1 for what jbenben said about there being something dark under the surface there.
Dead underneath? I don't know if I'd go that far. I think the dark undertone comes partly from the struggle to gain a footing and thrive there that a lot of people experience but few people talk about. Places like San Francisco and Los Angeles are honest about the ambition that brings people there and the hard work you put in to get established. San Diego likes to pretend that everything is always chill, all sunshine and flip-flops and drinking beer by the beach.. but it's not. Salaries are lower than people expect relative to the cost of living (that's the "sunshine tax") and there is a lot of competition for the available jobs. People work a lot and often struggle to make ends meet but you're not supposed to let that show.
I lived there for 10 years from my early 20s through my early 30s, and mostly my life there was good. I met smart and thoughtful people, lived in some great walkable neighborhoods, advanced my career, grew to love the landscape. The popular tourist areas are sterile and kind of creepy but neighborhoods further inland can really reward exploration. The area has a reputation for being quite conservative but within the city itself I found that not to be the case. There is a "live and let live" attitude I miss now that I live in more overtly leftist San Francisco. It's possible to do quite well for yourself there if you know what you're getting into.
posted by 4rtemis at 9:44 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
San Diego is a great option! It's expensive, yes, and doesn't have quite the thriving arts culture that I'd like to see, but it's not dark/dead underneath. I'm frankly baffled by previous comments to that affect.
posted by too bad you're not me at 10:29 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by too bad you're not me at 10:29 PM on April 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
One of the common answers for questions like this is the Triangle in North Carolina, and I think this area fits your requirements especially well. There is a lot of biotech here, you are two hours away from the ocean, and the climate is mostly warm and sunny. I can't really speak to the social aspect, but I don't think you can go wrong if you chose to live in downtown Durham, Chapel Hill, or Raleigh. You won't have to work hard to find cute coffee shops in any of those places, either. Housing and traffic are (so far) not too bad yet, in most circumstances.
posted by tybstar at 2:20 PM on April 28, 2018
posted by tybstar at 2:20 PM on April 28, 2018
Asbury Park or Long Branch NJ. Bonus points - you can easily go scope it out with a day trip. IT's close enough to work with the central NJ pharma companies that are legion, beach - yes, single people - yes, around your age - yes. You do get winter, but winter at the beach is pretty cool and relaxing.
posted by WeekendJen at 10:15 AM on April 30, 2018
posted by WeekendJen at 10:15 AM on April 30, 2018
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posted by icy_latte at 3:08 PM on April 27, 2018 [11 favorites]