So, what could opened, exposed processed cheese do to you if you ate it?

February 2, 2006 12:53 AM

I just ate some supposedly sealed processed cheese spread that I now have reason to believe has been open indefinitely. As in, quite possibly since leaving the packing place. What's the likely fallout?

So we have snacks at work, including those kraft/ritz "handi-snacks" that are little sealed plastic packages with crackers in one segment and cheese spread in another. I popped one down earlier, and then, when I went to throw the package away, noted that there was a big crack in the end which had formerly contained the cheese. I don't think I created this on opening and consuming the contents. I checked the rest of the box of these things to see if the other containers had similar cracks, and pulled out at least one more that obviously did.

My assumption is that these could have been open for a long, long time.

If this were packaged meat or something, given my natural paranoia, I'd probably already be on my way to an after-hours clinic or emergency room to check that I'm not going to be violently ill or dead of food poisoning. But keeping my natural paranoia in check is the idea that this is cheese, a food which is made by letting spoiled milk sit out for a long time. It's *processed* cheese, no less.

On the other hand, it really does look like this was exposed to the open air for a long time, and clearly was not delivered in the manner it was supposed to be.

Ingredients: Whey, Whey protein concentrate, cheddar cheese, canola oil, water, mil protein concentrate, sodium phosphate, milkfat, salt, maltodextrin, lactic acid, sodium alginate, sorbic acid, natural and artificial flavor, apocarotenal, annato.

What are the possible and probable impacts on my innards?

posted by weston to health (16 comments total)

Cheese would normally go hard and mouldy when exposed to the air for a period of time; not sure whether processed cheese is any different...

Did you keep the packaging? I'd be inclined to ring the company's freephone helpline...
posted by Chunder at 1:09 AM on February 2, 2006

I'm guessing the only likely fallout will be the remains of the meal, through your nether regions. Processed cheese isn't even food, man. When GWB gets bored and hits that big shiny red button, all that'll be left will be roaches and Cheez-Wiz.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:09 AM on February 2, 2006

Those things are so loaded with preservatives I'd be shocked if you even noticed.
posted by raaka at 1:54 AM on February 2, 2006

At least two of those ingredients are powerful preservatives, you'll be fine.
posted by atrazine at 2:03 AM on February 2, 2006

I don't think that most of the mold that grows on cheese can do you much damage.
posted by tiamat at 3:12 AM on February 2, 2006

You're not dealing with anything even remotely close to actual cheese here. It would be more correct to call it "orange-ish synthetic goo with artificial cheese flavoring." The fact that it does not require refridgeration should have been your first tipoff.

Put another way, if the thing tasted normal to the point of you not noticing anything strange when you ate it, you have nothing to worry about.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:16 AM on February 2, 2006

if it tasted normal, you have nothing to worry about.
posted by cosmicbandito at 5:17 AM on February 2, 2006

To add to what others have said, we never kept Cheez-Whiz in the fridge when I was growing up. We always had a jar, but it lived in a cupboard - sometimes for many, many months. There were never any ill effects on anyone, and the stuff was basically inert. Somewhere along the line they added 'Refrigerate after opening', but I think that was just marketing buzz to make people feel like it was real cheese.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:46 AM on February 2, 2006

anything that is strong enough to feed/survive on that stuff will only make you stronger from ingesting it!
posted by iurodivii at 6:30 AM on February 2, 2006

I wouldn't be too sure about the taste test on cheese. I got violently ill from bad cheese which essentially tasted normal. No mold, but it did have a slight tang to it, an acidic bite, which that brand of cheese doesn't usually have. It was quite subtle. Just in case, I would get some Gatorade to help keep you electrolytes in order if stuff starts falling out of you.
posted by caddis at 7:01 AM on February 2, 2006

When GWB gets bored and hits that big shiny red button, all that'll be left will be roaches and Cheez-Wiz.

And after awhile the roaches will be gone, too, because not even they eat that stuff.
posted by deadfather at 7:17 AM on February 2, 2006

Yeah, it dosn't sound like actual cheese to me, more like synthetic, edible paste. If it wasn't externaly mouldy or smelled funny, I think you should be fine.
posted by delmoi at 7:35 AM on February 2, 2006

if it tasted normal, you have nothing to worry about.


If it tasted normal, it wouldn't be 'processed cheese food'


Incidentally, they can't call this stuff cheese, it has to be called 'cheese food'. Like 'wine product' that is available in supermarkets here in NY, it has never seen natural fermentation or if it has, it has had the bejeesus kicjked out of it by the additives.
posted by lalochezia at 9:12 AM on February 2, 2006

Even faux cheese would probably show obvious signs of drying if it had been exposed to the air for long. Would you have noticed while you were snacking, or were you in a snack-induced daze while feeding?
posted by Good Brain at 9:26 AM on February 2, 2006

My guess is that the processed cheese filled the crack in the container—a sort of "cheese spackle," if you will—preventing air from getting to any of the rest of it. Plus, the preservatives in those snacks are pretty crazy.
posted by jenovus at 9:46 AM on February 2, 2006

I'm the worlds foremost expert on the consumption of cheese, so you can take what I say with a great deal of authority.

You're fine.

Eat the other one if you like.

Statistically, you're far more likely to get sick from eating a jumbo jet or a car than from eating those cracked cheeses. And statistics don't lie, do they?

Ok, I'm not really the worlds foremost authority on the consumption of cheese, I just said that so maybe I could get a job runnning FEMA.

You're ok, really.
posted by The Monkey at 6:01 PM on February 2, 2006