How do I quit an internship gracefully?

June 22, 2017 6:31 PM

I plan on giving my two weeks' notice for an internship in a couple days. (There are a number of reasons for this -- stress, unsatisfying work, wanting to spend more time on personal work, wanting to spend more time with my partner before they leave the country, etc.) We're running hard against a number of deadlines, and when I leave I'm going to be putting even more work on my coworkers' shoulders. How do I leave without looking like a jerk?
posted by brecc to Work & Money (14 answers total)

Is it paid or unpaid?
posted by bendy at 6:43 PM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

How long have you been working there?

If this is a new-to-you and just-for-summer-between-school thing, I think that the answer is "you can't. if it's a bridge that you don't want to burn, suck it up for the remaining few weeks and honor your implicit commitment. but if you don't care, do what you gotta do."
posted by sheldman at 6:48 PM on June 22, 2017 [13 favorites]

Also, the whole point of two weeks notice is to tie up loose ends and help your co-workers transition to their new responsibilities without you. Make the time count. Accomplish whatever you can to finish projects and leave clear documentation of what you've been doing and the best way you've found to do it. A group meeting where you can talk about what and how you've been doing would work too - just don't leave your co-workers in the dark. If you do that you can leave after two weeks with a clear conscience knowing you've done everything you could.
posted by bendy at 6:53 PM on June 22, 2017 [2 favorites]

Two weeks is the standard minimum. If it's an unpaid internship, I would not worry about the workload you place on your coworkers' shoulders.
posted by My Dad at 7:02 PM on June 22, 2017 [5 favorites]

Obviously, don't mention that you find the work unsatisfying. I would say you are regretfully leaving to deal with family issues, and have enjoyed and learned from your intern experience. I would also find someone there you can get a verbal commitment to providing you with a future reference. If you have a co-worker friend it's perfectly acceptable to use them.
posted by xammerboy at 7:02 PM on June 22, 2017 [5 favorites]

Also, don't feel bad about leaving. Always do what's best for you.
posted by xammerboy at 7:03 PM on June 22, 2017 [6 favorites]

I've quit multiple jobs at inconvenient (for the employer) times and I'm pretty certain no one has ever resented me for it. All employment is temporary. People understand this. People who don't, you need to avoid. Give them two weeks notice and work hard to help them be ready to go on without you. That's a classy exit.

Congratulations. I find nothing quite as satisfying as quitting a job. All that stress, suddenly gone, all those brain cycles, suddenly yours again. For me, it's like being reborn.
posted by Sauce Trough at 2:28 AM on June 23, 2017 [2 favorites]

I agree with sheldman above. If this was a short limited time internship and you took the spot with the commitment for that time, then you are going to look like a serious jerk and I see very little way to avoid it. The standard two week notice applies to fixed jobs, speaking as an employer.

I'm not sure what your situation is like, but our internship spots are competitive and we make a fairly large investment in training and coaching interns. I would be pretty seriously unamused if an intern left early without a situation of sufficient gravity. This is because your departure would meananother qualified student did not get the position from the start and it would likely be too late to pull someone else in.

You should leave if you want to, but if your situation is like this, don't expect it to look pretty or for people to be particularly understanding in the absence of a very serious reason. And I'd be careful about using it as a reference going forward.

(I'm aware some companies call unpaid labor "internship" and you don't get anything more than the ability to put their name on a cv. If that's the case, then you can ignore my answer.)
posted by frumiousb at 3:03 AM on June 23, 2017 [8 favorites]

...unsatisfying work...

Not related to leaving internship but it stuck out to me. Depending on how high on the list this really is recognise that most entry level jobs will involve a lot of work that you may find uninspiring...this is where you suck it up and demonstrate that you are able to take on more responsibility and normally more interesting things will come your way.
posted by koahiatamadl at 4:46 AM on June 23, 2017 [6 favorites]

How do I leave without looking like a jerk?

If this is a short-term internship, you can't.

If this internship is the kind you take to enter a field, beware that this is a very bad start. I've worked with many interns and I still remember the ones that pulled dumb stuff - I'm not vindictive but I'm not sure I'd hire them. Your reputation is important -- it's linked to the quality of your work, for sure, but also to how you do work.

I'm assuming you're young...if so, an internship is supposed to also be about learning how work works. So here's what I see in your post. Unfulfilling work for a limited time is par for the course. I have had dream jobs where parts were unfulfilling.

Stress - this can be a reason to leave and mental health is important. But think about whether you mean "this is hard" vs. "this is damaging." If something is damaging you, get out. If it's just hard, and a limited time, give yourself the gift of facing what's hard. It really helps in life.

For the other two, I'm assuming you knew about these when you started. Life is really important and balance is important. And sometimes, yeah, we quit jobs to focus on other things. But this reads a bit like poor planning on your part and depending on the length of your internship, very short-term thinking. Is there another way, like leaving right at 5 or getting up early to pursue your personal interests?

Just some thoughts. No decision is the end of the world.
posted by warriorqueen at 5:16 AM on June 23, 2017 [4 favorites]

Of course you can leave any job you want, for any reason. But unless you're leaving for a life-changing event, such as serious illness or dire family emergency, the answer to "How do I leave without looking like a jerk?" is, in the situation you've described here: you don't. If you're leaving an internship because you decided this job is no fun and basically you'd like to do something you like better instead -- well, not to put too fine a point on it, but that's sort of the definition of being a jerk. This is especially true if, as you concede, your leaving is going to make it harder for your coworkers.

As I said, it's certainly your prerogative to leave. But part of making that decision is understanding and accepting what you're doing, and that maybe some people are going to think ill of you for it -- which, not for nothing, sounds like it will be kind of justified in this case. If that's ok with you and you can live with that, then ok -- part of being an adult is that sometimes you have to swallow the bitter pill. But you can't have it both ways.
posted by holborne at 6:16 AM on June 23, 2017 [3 favorites]

Others have mentioned the personal bridges burned, but there's another aspect. If your mental health is truly at risk, you should do what you need to do, but there is more at stake than just you. Are you currently a student affiliated with a university/college, and did you find the internship through a placement program? If you do plan to leave, and it's for a serious reason of incompatibility between the placement and you, you REALLY REALLY need to get approval (or at least buy-in) from the university. The university will not look fondly upon a student who just up and left a placement, because it will seriously impact their relationship with that employer and their ability to place any more students at that company.

I am connected with internship and professional placements at a university, and I would not consider "wanting to spend more time on personal work, wanting to spend more time with my partner before they leave the country" sufficient reasons to break an internship contract. At our university, you would be forbidden from using the placement system in the future. I might consider "stress, unsatisfying work" reasons to break the contract, but only after a credible attempt to address these problems.
posted by Liesl at 8:16 AM on June 23, 2017 [2 favorites]

Agreeing that the answer depends on whether this is a short-term or long-term internship and whether it is paid or unpaid. Unless you've worked there for several months, I would not count on using it for a reference even if you're able to leave on a good note.

As a general rule, I would not mention the personal reasons for departing. Even though you should always take care of yourself, it's better not to advertise that, even among your friends at work. If I heard through the grapevine that you'd left knowing we were slammed because you preferred to chill with your boyfriend and do personal projects, I'd think you were not a great employee. The world is very small.
posted by *s at 9:24 AM on June 23, 2017

I think it depends a lot on the type of internship and what your goal was in doing the internship. For me personally, all of the internships I have done were when I was in school and there was some connection to my university -- either it was arranged directly through an internship program at my university, or I was receiving some type of course credit. In those situations, I think leaving for anything other than a serious emergency or some other serious situation (i.e. an abusive boss, sexual harassment) would have been very frowned upon and I very likely might have received an "F" for the course credit component. Plus, it would impact future students seeking to use the placement program if our university got a bad reputation for flaky interns. So, I would be reluctant to do it in that circumstance.

Although I personally did not do this, I know some of my friends have also done internships as a way to get a foot in the door, impress employers, build references, hopefully get a more permanent job either at that specific company or through networking in that industry. Obviously if this is your goal in this internship, you're going to be burning bridges and I would not expect to get a good reference or any sort of leg up applying for "real" positions at this company down the line (at best, it will be neutral, at worst they will remember you poorly and it will hurt your application).

I'm honestly not really sure what other reasons people do internships other than those two -- if this is just some random thing you ended up doing that really isn't connected to your future career goals or your university, then go ahead and quit -- but then I'm not really sure why you were doing it in the first place? Basically, I would be thinking long term over short term. Most internships I have ever done have not been super fulfilling/exciting work, but that's true of MOST entry-level work (not just internships). And obviously everyone would rather spend more time with their SO and on hobbies, but that's not realistic for most people unless you are independently wealthy. So, look at what this internship might be giving you down the line -- a reference, a possibility to be hired on to do more exciting work, course credit, networking opportunities, the potential to really impress someone and have them refer you to their colleague at another company where you'd prefer to work, etc. -- and if there's honestly really nothing there, then go ahead and quit. But don't just discount that long-term stuff.
posted by rainbowbrite at 12:08 PM on June 23, 2017