Creative nonfiction about divorce

March 6, 2017 8:16 PM

My wife and I are getting divorced. I want to read short or longform essays about divorce.

I've read several from the NY Times Modern Love and Unhitched series, including this one. I'd like more along those lines, please.

Prefect: self-contained essays, or specific podcast episodes, or blog posts. If I like one thing a writer did, I'll check out their back catalog.

Good: maybe some short, realistic fiction that doesn't descend into Raymond Carver grimness.

Not really: practical guides/how to.

I'm 45 and we have two kids, so scenarios like "we were young and in Paris but it wasn't meant to last so we divorced by the time we were 21" probably won't resonate.

I don't want to be too picky about framing though, so err on the side of speaking up, if you know something good.

Friends, help me see this experience through others' eyes, so I can see better through my own.

posted by Caxton1476 to Human Relations (7 answers total)

Geez, I had the perfect story for you until I saw your remark about Raymond Carver. I'm going to recommend it anyway because I was your age, with 2 kids, when I divorced and I found this particular story anything but grim—rather, it recognized that importance of the relationship, while acknowledging that it was changing. The link is to Granta and requires a subscription (I was still receiving it via mail when I first read the story), but you may be able to find it elsewhere, if you're open to Carver.

Call if you need me.
posted by she's not there at 8:30 PM on March 6, 2017

The Moment Our Marriage Was Over series in the Guardian might help. I am sorry you are going through this.
posted by wheek wheek wheek at 2:53 AM on March 7, 2017

This is the one that "made sense" to my ex and me once the dust had settled.

We were in our late 30s, one kid. It's not easy in the moment, but we're all ok now. Best of luck with your own journey.
posted by correcaminos at 4:43 AM on March 7, 2017

I always really liked this one by Barbara Kingsolver.
posted by dlugoczaj at 7:58 AM on March 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

The titular essay in Ann Patchett's This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage (misleading title) comes to mind. A great piece about the author's first marriage and subsequent divorce and about how divorce runs in her family.
posted by toby_ann at 12:38 PM on March 7, 2017

If infidelity is part of your situation, blogger Chump Lady has some short, brutally insightful pieces. Two that helped me make sense of my failing marriage were Untangling the Skein of Fuckupedness and Nice versus Kind. There's kind of a "greatest hits" at the bottom of the main page and they are worth reading--all pretty quick.
posted by Sublimity at 6:13 PM on March 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thank you, friends, for an excellent syllabus, and for your kind words.

she's not there, I'm glad you disregarded my offhand remark about Carver. I received Where I'm Calling From as a gift years ago, and he has real range as a storyteller. I'll check that one out.
posted by Caxton1476 at 4:04 PM on March 8, 2017