I realize this is going to raise some indignant hackles, and rightly so, but I plead for actual answers instead of denouncing me as a worthless waste of spunk.
I'm in my thirties, single, live alone. For many years, I used to drink socially or have a few beers, and I've been known to sometimes
overdo it with the drinking when I'm deeply depressed or when there've been serious crises in my life. But over the last few months, ever since a particularly bad series of outside events, I have increased my drinking considerably. Let me be very clear that
-- I don't even go to bars anymore, actually, because I'm aware of the danger I would pose to others at this point. Instead, I buy cases of beer, jugs of cheap wine, or bottles of liquor and strictly drink at home, alone.
If you were to ask me "How much do you drink?" I wouldn't be quite sure how to answer, other than "a lot." Some days I don't drink at all; some days I limit myself to a couple of beers; other times I drink glass after glass of whiskey on the rocks or vodka drinks until I have to go lie down. Rarely, I drink too much too fast on an empty stomach and black out.
So obviously I have a drinking problem, and I probably ought to get some help with this, but that's not actually what I'm asking here. I'm curious about just how
badly my innards might be getting damaged without any symptoms showing up, and, yes, how much can I keep drinking before my innards start to really get shot? Yeah, I know. No, really, I know.
I don't have health insurance, so seeing a doctor and getting expensive testing done on my liver is not going to happen. (Besides, no ethical doctor would tell me anything other than, "You really need to cut back on your drinking.") I've Googled extensively about alcohol poisoning
of the liver. I know it's bad. I also know that I might one night drink too much and die. I know that I'm in a very self-destructive place right now. Regardless, I want to keep drinking, at least for now. But I hope one day to pull myself out of this, and I'd like not to have to be on an organ-donor waiting list when I get there. The question I'd like answered is, Is there any way for me to know how much is really