Travel Ennui
September 15, 2015 1:00 PM Subscribe
I am midway through a Round the World trip, which I have had to put on hold for the most unexpected of reasons: I don't care where I travel to next. I have dropped anchor for a while to address this situation, but having done so, I now wake up every day and look inside to find, well, nothing. So do I call it a day and head home, or roll the dice and carry on regardless?
Additional, honest, information (provided under the proviso that it's not used to judge the hell out of me):
Context
1) My long term contract at work ended, so I decided to take advantage of the natural break to take an extended (solo) trip before getting back into the rat race.
2) Because of the timing of events, I only had a month to plan, so my basic strategy was to hit corners of the globe that I haven't yet visited, stopping off at interesting places en route.
3) I had to make some reasonable sacrifices - including of course financial ones - in order to take this trip.
Trip
1) The trip started well, and I was excited to be immersed in cultures dramatically different from my own.
2) As the trip progressed however, my excitement began to get offset by everyday travel logistics: deciding where to go next, working out how to get there, deciding which hotel to stay in, working out how to get to the hotel from the station/ airport/ port, deciding which tourist destinations to visit, working out how to reach said tourist destinations from the hotel etc. Throw in finding breakfast/ lunch/ dinner every day - often in new locations, daily language barriers, and the overwhelming amount of rail, ferry, plane and hotel options online, plus the grotesque amount of detail in the guidebooks, and maybe I can be forgiven for blowing a small fuse.
3) From where I currently am, I can travel to pretty much anywhere in the world for under $1000. But no matter how much I stare at Google Maps, or create little fantasies in my mind about what it'll be like in these far-off places, I can neither choose destination X with any more conviction than destinations Y or Z, nor lose the sense that no matter where I go, the logistics aspect detailed above will come to dominate the experience.
Other Details
1) I've travelled pretty extensively, although I haven't done a trip of this size/ duration/ scope since I was a student. Back then, everything was exciting: travel, culture, people - both natives and other travellers. I'm now almost twice that age, and maybe I've been naive, perhaps unconsciously expecting a similar degree of thrill - but nonetheless I'm defininely surprised at how "inert" I've come to feel, particularly given the range of opportunity available to me.
2) I know some might think I'm depressed. Maybe I am. I don't "feel" depressed - I'd say maybe it's more like significant ennui. Nonetheless, neither a course of Prozac nor 6 months of therapy are practical ways to address the current situation.
3) If I were to book a flight home this week, I would (a) feel like somewhat of a failure, (b) strongly regret not being able to take advantage of an opportunity which may well not come along again for quite some time, once I get back in the rat race.
Additional, honest, information (provided under the proviso that it's not used to judge the hell out of me):
Context
1) My long term contract at work ended, so I decided to take advantage of the natural break to take an extended (solo) trip before getting back into the rat race.
2) Because of the timing of events, I only had a month to plan, so my basic strategy was to hit corners of the globe that I haven't yet visited, stopping off at interesting places en route.
3) I had to make some reasonable sacrifices - including of course financial ones - in order to take this trip.
Trip
1) The trip started well, and I was excited to be immersed in cultures dramatically different from my own.
2) As the trip progressed however, my excitement began to get offset by everyday travel logistics: deciding where to go next, working out how to get there, deciding which hotel to stay in, working out how to get to the hotel from the station/ airport/ port, deciding which tourist destinations to visit, working out how to reach said tourist destinations from the hotel etc. Throw in finding breakfast/ lunch/ dinner every day - often in new locations, daily language barriers, and the overwhelming amount of rail, ferry, plane and hotel options online, plus the grotesque amount of detail in the guidebooks, and maybe I can be forgiven for blowing a small fuse.
3) From where I currently am, I can travel to pretty much anywhere in the world for under $1000. But no matter how much I stare at Google Maps, or create little fantasies in my mind about what it'll be like in these far-off places, I can neither choose destination X with any more conviction than destinations Y or Z, nor lose the sense that no matter where I go, the logistics aspect detailed above will come to dominate the experience.
Other Details
1) I've travelled pretty extensively, although I haven't done a trip of this size/ duration/ scope since I was a student. Back then, everything was exciting: travel, culture, people - both natives and other travellers. I'm now almost twice that age, and maybe I've been naive, perhaps unconsciously expecting a similar degree of thrill - but nonetheless I'm defininely surprised at how "inert" I've come to feel, particularly given the range of opportunity available to me.
2) I know some might think I'm depressed. Maybe I am. I don't "feel" depressed - I'd say maybe it's more like significant ennui. Nonetheless, neither a course of Prozac nor 6 months of therapy are practical ways to address the current situation.
3) If I were to book a flight home this week, I would (a) feel like somewhat of a failure, (b) strongly regret not being able to take advantage of an opportunity which may well not come along again for quite some time, once I get back in the rat race.
So you finished a stint of work and decided to take a holiday which sounds from your description like - work. I'm not surprised you feel inert (though I'd say tired) and really I think you should (if where you are is remotely bearable) stay put. Sit on street corners and watch the world go by. Eat at the same places and establish relationships. Read a few books. Tourism doesn't have to be seeing everything in the guidebook. Take it easy and feel neither guilty nor like a failure.
posted by firstdrop at 1:08 PM on September 15, 2015 [27 favorites]
posted by firstdrop at 1:08 PM on September 15, 2015 [27 favorites]
I would either pick a place where you can have an extended stay playing the local, or head home, because it sounds to me like your burnt out.
posted by redindiaink at 1:09 PM on September 15, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by redindiaink at 1:09 PM on September 15, 2015 [10 favorites]
I'd just focus on enjoying Every One of my meals ( with no care for tourist stuff) and wandering around shops and reading in between...
posted by pairofshades at 1:19 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by pairofshades at 1:19 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I just got home from a 2-month extended trip. I definitely felt by the end of it like I was kind of done/didn't really know why I was still on the road/felt jaded about why people even travel at all. I definitely think that's a risk, especially if you're traveling as a grownup who has had real life experience and aren't just floating from party to party.
Ideas:
1. I definitely agree with the "live like a local" advice. Find a place where the culture, food, etc. excite you all on their own and just hunker down for a while. Don't worry about seeing and doing, just soak in the place.
2. You mention the word "hotel" a lot. I'm not sure whether you are hopping from hotel to hotel or you're just using the term as a catch-all for a variety of accommodation types. But if you are just staying in regular hotels everywhere you go, this is probably a large reason for your ennui. Hotels are designed to be the same everywhere. On my recent trip I stayed in a hotel in Athens that was virtually identical to a hotel I once stayed at in Mumbai. Try a hostel or an AirBnB to mix it up. Even better, what about a stretch doing something like WWOOF (exchange a small amount of farm work for room and board in the countryside), or something like camping, alpine hut, beach shack, etc? I stay in hostels a lot, and I like to pick places that are historically or architecturally interesting. In Cusco, Peru, I stayed in a mansion once owned by the Pizarro family. In Istanbul I stayed in a hostel attached to a hamam built in the first years of the Ottoman era.
3. What are you doing every day? Just going to whatever the local tourist sights are? Have you considered something a little more intensive, like for example volunteering, going on an extended trek, or some other activity that you need to be in one place for a few weeks to take part in? WWOOF would be good for this, too.
posted by Sara C. at 1:22 PM on September 15, 2015 [7 favorites]
Ideas:
1. I definitely agree with the "live like a local" advice. Find a place where the culture, food, etc. excite you all on their own and just hunker down for a while. Don't worry about seeing and doing, just soak in the place.
2. You mention the word "hotel" a lot. I'm not sure whether you are hopping from hotel to hotel or you're just using the term as a catch-all for a variety of accommodation types. But if you are just staying in regular hotels everywhere you go, this is probably a large reason for your ennui. Hotels are designed to be the same everywhere. On my recent trip I stayed in a hotel in Athens that was virtually identical to a hotel I once stayed at in Mumbai. Try a hostel or an AirBnB to mix it up. Even better, what about a stretch doing something like WWOOF (exchange a small amount of farm work for room and board in the countryside), or something like camping, alpine hut, beach shack, etc? I stay in hostels a lot, and I like to pick places that are historically or architecturally interesting. In Cusco, Peru, I stayed in a mansion once owned by the Pizarro family. In Istanbul I stayed in a hostel attached to a hamam built in the first years of the Ottoman era.
3. What are you doing every day? Just going to whatever the local tourist sights are? Have you considered something a little more intensive, like for example volunteering, going on an extended trek, or some other activity that you need to be in one place for a few weeks to take part in? WWOOF would be good for this, too.
posted by Sara C. at 1:22 PM on September 15, 2015 [7 favorites]
Long-term travelers that I meet often have an interest, something they are focussing on or collecting, that they seek out in every country.
Also you need to let go of the feeling that you must wring every drop of experience out of this trip. Accept that you aren't interested in everything the guidebook says is interesting and if you miss out on something, believe that you will come back some day to see it.
Slow down. Make you own way.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 1:23 PM on September 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Also you need to let go of the feeling that you must wring every drop of experience out of this trip. Accept that you aren't interested in everything the guidebook says is interesting and if you miss out on something, believe that you will come back some day to see it.
Slow down. Make you own way.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 1:23 PM on September 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Do you have anything in your home country worth going back to? Will you be able to cobble together a somewhat satisfactory life relatively easily?
Coming back from my time abroad is by all means a lot harder than it was to 1) make the decision to go, 2) getting settled in new country, and 3) figuring out logistics of traveling for an extended period of time (just 4 months but long enough).
I thought I wanted a year-long round the world trip, but at the 4 month mark, I really wanted to not be on the move every week to two weeks or so, so I came home , only to find that adjusting to life back in the US really really hard and lonelier than traveling ever did. Your mileage may vary, but it's something to consider.
If you decide that moving back home isn't it for you, I'd say find a travel buddy. The guy I traveled with switched off taking care of logistics, and I think that made it a lot easier. Even though our traveling relationship became pretty strained at the end, it still felt better knowing that you at least have someone to watch your back/help you out/talk to when bored or waiting for that night ferry that never shows up. Having something more of a personal connection makes everything better.
Also, don't feel like you have to see all the things, especially tourist ones. Have you thought about couchsurfing? They're a pretty friendly bunch. You'll meet tons of locals who will take you to the best hole in the wall restaurants. Are there any skills you'd love to have learned? I ask this because it's really easy (and probably cheaper than in your home country) to stay at least a month somewhere and pick up all the SCUBA or freediving certifications. You'd be learning something fun on a tropical beach somewhere.
posted by astapasta24 at 1:24 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Coming back from my time abroad is by all means a lot harder than it was to 1) make the decision to go, 2) getting settled in new country, and 3) figuring out logistics of traveling for an extended period of time (just 4 months but long enough).
I thought I wanted a year-long round the world trip, but at the 4 month mark, I really wanted to not be on the move every week to two weeks or so, so I came home , only to find that adjusting to life back in the US really really hard and lonelier than traveling ever did. Your mileage may vary, but it's something to consider.
If you decide that moving back home isn't it for you, I'd say find a travel buddy. The guy I traveled with switched off taking care of logistics, and I think that made it a lot easier. Even though our traveling relationship became pretty strained at the end, it still felt better knowing that you at least have someone to watch your back/help you out/talk to when bored or waiting for that night ferry that never shows up. Having something more of a personal connection makes everything better.
Also, don't feel like you have to see all the things, especially tourist ones. Have you thought about couchsurfing? They're a pretty friendly bunch. You'll meet tons of locals who will take you to the best hole in the wall restaurants. Are there any skills you'd love to have learned? I ask this because it's really easy (and probably cheaper than in your home country) to stay at least a month somewhere and pick up all the SCUBA or freediving certifications. You'd be learning something fun on a tropical beach somewhere.
posted by astapasta24 at 1:24 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Maybe find a place to take a longer course in something you'd enjoy? Yoga, surfing, thai massage, etc. Not sure if that'd do the trick but it would certainly give you better sense of the culture, plus some community and consistency, which you seem to be craving.
Either that or maybe books. Are you reading, especially the history and literature of the places you're exploring? I've found that it really increases my engagement with places, especially if I can find people to talk to about the subjects I'm reading. Otherwise, yeah, it can just feel like you're skimming the surface, which in a way you are. Good luck!
posted by vecchio at 1:25 PM on September 15, 2015
Either that or maybe books. Are you reading, especially the history and literature of the places you're exploring? I've found that it really increases my engagement with places, especially if I can find people to talk to about the subjects I'm reading. Otherwise, yeah, it can just feel like you're skimming the surface, which in a way you are. Good luck!
posted by vecchio at 1:25 PM on September 15, 2015
have you thought about doing some kind of volunteer work that will give you a break from the typical chaos of traveling? i enjoyed doing wwoof back when i was hopping around. it gave me a temporary home and a break in the daily spending. the type of farm work i encountered was fairly light too. the best part was having a person/family with whom you're around long enough to build a relationship. going a while without having any conversations of substance can be tiring, at least for me.
posted by monologish at 1:28 PM on September 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by monologish at 1:28 PM on September 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Staying in one place for a while isn't necessarily a failure to enjoy traveling, it's a way to really experience that place as more than just a tourist. For my job, I often end up traveling to countries and living in the middle of nowhere for a few weeks. I would be really unlikely to plan to stay in these places for so long, but because I have to, I end up finding so many more unusual things, and meeting interesting people, and I don't feel like I'm just checking off a list of famous things to see. You can do this on purpose.
Secondly, try a hostel for a while. Meeting new people constantly can be exhausting and stressful, and you never feel like you can relax. If you read the reviews for hostels, find a small-medium size one that talks a lot of hanging out and meeting friends (alcohol will probably be a big part, but it doesn't have to be). You might even be able to get free board by volunteering. If you stay at the hostel for a while, you can make friends with the staff, there will be other long-term residents, and explore one area. If you find some people you really get along with, you can move on, and in a good group, the decision making is divided.
I traveled for four months last summer and I was dead by the end of it. Honestly, what killed me most was having to find a way from the airport to wherever I was staying. Eventually I just decided that unless it was going to be ridiculously expensive, I let myself pay for a taxi. It made traveling much more relaxing to know that I wouldn't have to drag my heavy bag around at weird times of the day. Pick one or two of the most tiring parts and decide that you will pay for convenience (if you can afford it). It can be eating in a restaurant rather than trying to make food for certain meals, not caring to find the absolutely most cheap transportation option, a guided tour instead of on your own, skipping a 'must-see' attraction because it really won't matter later.
posted by raeka at 1:35 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Secondly, try a hostel for a while. Meeting new people constantly can be exhausting and stressful, and you never feel like you can relax. If you read the reviews for hostels, find a small-medium size one that talks a lot of hanging out and meeting friends (alcohol will probably be a big part, but it doesn't have to be). You might even be able to get free board by volunteering. If you stay at the hostel for a while, you can make friends with the staff, there will be other long-term residents, and explore one area. If you find some people you really get along with, you can move on, and in a good group, the decision making is divided.
I traveled for four months last summer and I was dead by the end of it. Honestly, what killed me most was having to find a way from the airport to wherever I was staying. Eventually I just decided that unless it was going to be ridiculously expensive, I let myself pay for a taxi. It made traveling much more relaxing to know that I wouldn't have to drag my heavy bag around at weird times of the day. Pick one or two of the most tiring parts and decide that you will pay for convenience (if you can afford it). It can be eating in a restaurant rather than trying to make food for certain meals, not caring to find the absolutely most cheap transportation option, a guided tour instead of on your own, skipping a 'must-see' attraction because it really won't matter later.
posted by raeka at 1:35 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
You don't have to see or do All The Things at each location. Sleep in, sit around and sip tea/chocolate/beer/etc for a few hours while enjoying a book or writing in a paper journal, take naps, exercise (as mentioned above) like yoga, hiking, surfing, etc.
Vacations are supposed to involve *me* time. But too much solo time can be annoying so start talking to people. Ask them where to eat, where to stay, where to visit. They'll likely want to know the same from you.
And if you want to go home, that's fine too. Mr Neekee has a two-week limit of traveling before he wants to go home. There's nothing wrong with that.
posted by Neekee at 1:38 PM on September 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
Vacations are supposed to involve *me* time. But too much solo time can be annoying so start talking to people. Ask them where to eat, where to stay, where to visit. They'll likely want to know the same from you.
And if you want to go home, that's fine too. Mr Neekee has a two-week limit of traveling before he wants to go home. There's nothing wrong with that.
posted by Neekee at 1:38 PM on September 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
Many people pay good money to travel agents, week-long tour package companies, weekend tour companies, day-rate local tour guides, and even cruise companies and resort concierges to avoid the burnout/frustration you're describing. What you're describing is totally normal for an adult and nothing to be embarrassed about.
I think you need to reframe your strategy for this trip. Your stated goal is to "take an extended (solo) trip before getting back into the rat race." Your strategy so far has been "pick many places I haven't been before, and expose myself to lots of new stuff!!" Instead, I'd suggest you "pick some place beautiful and enjoy the beauty."
I'd choose a country and city with easy logistics, and potentially even a local "destination" to help framework your next few decisions -- for example, hike the dolomites in Italy, join a yoga retreat in Costa Rica, dive the Blue Hole in Belize, visit Iguazu Falls in Brazil, visit a backpackers-only beach in Kauai, time travel in Sintra Portugal. However, the location-specific destination is just the framework for your actual goal: "take an extended solo trip before getting back into the rat race."
Also: It sounds like you're not really very happy with where you're currently staying. I think you should move on after another day or two.
posted by samthemander at 1:39 PM on September 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
I think you need to reframe your strategy for this trip. Your stated goal is to "take an extended (solo) trip before getting back into the rat race." Your strategy so far has been "pick many places I haven't been before, and expose myself to lots of new stuff!!" Instead, I'd suggest you "pick some place beautiful and enjoy the beauty."
I'd choose a country and city with easy logistics, and potentially even a local "destination" to help framework your next few decisions -- for example, hike the dolomites in Italy, join a yoga retreat in Costa Rica, dive the Blue Hole in Belize, visit Iguazu Falls in Brazil, visit a backpackers-only beach in Kauai, time travel in Sintra Portugal. However, the location-specific destination is just the framework for your actual goal: "take an extended solo trip before getting back into the rat race."
Also: It sounds like you're not really very happy with where you're currently staying. I think you should move on after another day or two.
posted by samthemander at 1:39 PM on September 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'd try staying in some hostels if you're not yet. You may think you're too old, but you're not.
I'd also stick around certain places for a bit - get to know some of the locals (maybe the person who works at the coffee shop or a small restaurant), and just enjoy where you are (if you really don't like where you are, go elsewhere and stay there for a bit). When I travelled for about half a year I'd routinely hang out and do very little with my days - just sit in cafes and read, or got for walks around the town or city.
posted by backwards guitar at 1:46 PM on September 15, 2015
I'd also stick around certain places for a bit - get to know some of the locals (maybe the person who works at the coffee shop or a small restaurant), and just enjoy where you are (if you really don't like where you are, go elsewhere and stay there for a bit). When I travelled for about half a year I'd routinely hang out and do very little with my days - just sit in cafes and read, or got for walks around the town or city.
posted by backwards guitar at 1:46 PM on September 15, 2015
All of the above, especially working on a farm for a spell. Plus consider couchsurfing to live with some of the locals and reciprocate with some foreigners when you resettle yourself. You could decide to rent a place in a beautiful, centralized city for a couple months, settle in, find some expat groups/Meetups, etc. and travel a bit on weekend or longer jaunts with some of those folks.
Here's the other thing: nobody back home cares a fig if you curtail your plans early. They're not much thinking about your trip details at all except vaguely: "Oh, good on Partridge. How long's he gone for? Maybe I'll do something like that someday." Honestly, we think people are hanging on our every experience and dying to ask us about our adventures. Alas, they're not.
posted by Elsie at 2:21 PM on September 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
Here's the other thing: nobody back home cares a fig if you curtail your plans early. They're not much thinking about your trip details at all except vaguely: "Oh, good on Partridge. How long's he gone for? Maybe I'll do something like that someday." Honestly, we think people are hanging on our every experience and dying to ask us about our adventures. Alas, they're not.
posted by Elsie at 2:21 PM on September 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
People need people. Maybe you're lonely for people who know you, because it sounds like you're around strangers. But sometimes we need to be around the people we know to love us and put their arms around us, especially when we've been doing new new new things all the time.
(If it is feeling lonely, remember: It's okay to feel lonely, and I hope you know that. It's not weak, it's not embarrassing, it's not immature or childish. It's very, very human. You just need to recharge and be with people who know you and are familiar and care about you. If that's what it is.)
posted by discopolo at 2:35 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
(If it is feeling lonely, remember: It's okay to feel lonely, and I hope you know that. It's not weak, it's not embarrassing, it's not immature or childish. It's very, very human. You just need to recharge and be with people who know you and are familiar and care about you. If that's what it is.)
posted by discopolo at 2:35 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
It sounds like you need a vacation.
That may sound odd but it's not. Travelling can be hard work, and the way you've been doing it sounds like it is. I'll tell you an anecdote from one of my own trips, the longest trip I ever took: a 8-month trip through Africa, by motorcycle.
Africa can wear you down. By the time we got to Accra in Ghana, we were tired. Tired of being in Africa all the time.
Don't get me wrong: Africa is wonderful! But as a white person, you stand out a lot, you will never go unnoticed, and lots of people want to talk to you and practice their English. They have learned that the answer to 'Hello, how are you?' should be 'I'm fine, thank you' and so if they get a different reply, they will probably not understand it, and just repeat the question until you answer correctly. In short, Africa can wear you down.
So we took a vacation, an evening off from being in Africa all day, every day. We did this by going to a good Indian restaurant in Accra, because all over the world, good Indian restaurants are very much alike and you can't really tell whether this particular one is in Accra or in Amsterdam. It worked very well: we had great food and a relaxing, refreshing evening.
Take a vacation. Find a pleasant, peaceful place, and stay there for a week at least. Don't do anything touristic; just hang out, wash your clothes and repair what needs repairing, drink tea under a tree, read some good books. Books are a great way to be elsewhere for a while. If you yearn for home, read books about your own country. You'll be teleported back into your own familiar world for a few hours. It will probably relax you.
Keep in mind that what you are currently feeling is not at all uncommon among travellers. If we stay away for long enough, we'll probably get it sooner or later.
It sounds like you need some time off. I hope you can find a way to do exactly that.
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:26 PM on September 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
That may sound odd but it's not. Travelling can be hard work, and the way you've been doing it sounds like it is. I'll tell you an anecdote from one of my own trips, the longest trip I ever took: a 8-month trip through Africa, by motorcycle.
Africa can wear you down. By the time we got to Accra in Ghana, we were tired. Tired of being in Africa all the time.
Don't get me wrong: Africa is wonderful! But as a white person, you stand out a lot, you will never go unnoticed, and lots of people want to talk to you and practice their English. They have learned that the answer to 'Hello, how are you?' should be 'I'm fine, thank you' and so if they get a different reply, they will probably not understand it, and just repeat the question until you answer correctly. In short, Africa can wear you down.
So we took a vacation, an evening off from being in Africa all day, every day. We did this by going to a good Indian restaurant in Accra, because all over the world, good Indian restaurants are very much alike and you can't really tell whether this particular one is in Accra or in Amsterdam. It worked very well: we had great food and a relaxing, refreshing evening.
Take a vacation. Find a pleasant, peaceful place, and stay there for a week at least. Don't do anything touristic; just hang out, wash your clothes and repair what needs repairing, drink tea under a tree, read some good books. Books are a great way to be elsewhere for a while. If you yearn for home, read books about your own country. You'll be teleported back into your own familiar world for a few hours. It will probably relax you.
Keep in mind that what you are currently feeling is not at all uncommon among travellers. If we stay away for long enough, we'll probably get it sooner or later.
It sounds like you need some time off. I hope you can find a way to do exactly that.
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:26 PM on September 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
You need to get out of the tourist grind. Find something that interests you that you can learn about or do when you are traveling, instead of doing the tourist things. Hitting all the tourist hotspots is like prime time TV.
If there's nothing that interests you to drive your travels, you should learn to surf. Pick a destination that's good for learning that and go.
posted by yohko at 6:17 PM on September 15, 2015
If there's nothing that interests you to drive your travels, you should learn to surf. Pick a destination that's good for learning that and go.
posted by yohko at 6:17 PM on September 15, 2015
Just an observation: people who sail around the world in a small (e.g 40 ft) boat often stay in a new harbor for weeks. Partly this has to do with the rigors of ocean sailing, and partly with the realities of yacht maintenance, but largely it's due to the pleasure of getting to know other people doing what you are doing.
Maybe you should find a slower way to travel to make the trip interesting instead of the destination. I believe it's still possible to book passage on some cargo vessels.
posted by SemiSalt at 6:23 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Maybe you should find a slower way to travel to make the trip interesting instead of the destination. I believe it's still possible to book passage on some cargo vessels.
posted by SemiSalt at 6:23 PM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
There is nothing wrong with taking some time to go somewhere less exotic or more touristy. Maybe go somewhere in which your looks don't make you stand out? Or where you speak the language? A nice beach, European city, or even national park in your own country just to give yourself some time to re-boot. A week or two of downtime might be just what you need to keep going.
posted by Neekee at 6:50 PM on September 15, 2015
posted by Neekee at 6:50 PM on September 15, 2015
I find solo travel lonely and stressful (and I've done plenty of it, nonetheless, because there have been reasons it was worth it to me, but: lonely and stressful.) It's ok to come home.
If you don't want to come home, make your next stop somewhere easy, with a good selection of private hostels. It makes all the difference in the world to meet people you like to experience new places with. It also makes it a relief to have time to yourself when you do get it.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:45 PM on September 15, 2015
If you don't want to come home, make your next stop somewhere easy, with a good selection of private hostels. It makes all the difference in the world to meet people you like to experience new places with. It also makes it a relief to have time to yourself when you do get it.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:45 PM on September 15, 2015
Agreeing with much of the advice above. Maybe also try to minimise or reduce the amount of foreign-ness you have to deal with for a little while - travel to a country where you speak the language and at least don't have as much stress on that front for a bit. Even English-speaking countries can be amazingly varied and interesting, and developing that sense of temporary connection can be a lot easier when you're not struggling as much with the language barrier.
Come to Australia! Seriously, it's just starting to be spring here. Everything is lovely and blooming and even when it switches cool and rainy again, it's still such a gorgeous time of year. We speak English (well, mostly) and if you are from the US, your dollar is worth more than ours! Find a smaller place to stay with more interaction and dig in a bit, just enjoy exploring or staying put and reading, writing, whatever. Downtime. Travelling is hard work, give yourself a break!
posted by Athanassiel at 7:56 PM on September 15, 2015
Come to Australia! Seriously, it's just starting to be spring here. Everything is lovely and blooming and even when it switches cool and rainy again, it's still such a gorgeous time of year. We speak English (well, mostly) and if you are from the US, your dollar is worth more than ours! Find a smaller place to stay with more interaction and dig in a bit, just enjoy exploring or staying put and reading, writing, whatever. Downtime. Travelling is hard work, give yourself a break!
posted by Athanassiel at 7:56 PM on September 15, 2015
On long trips I like to focus on just one country for a significant amount of time - weeks or a month, not days, often in a cheap, central big city. It helps me adjust to the language, culture, and food, and having a local base - can you rent or sublet a flat in a big city for a few weeks? - is much more calm and relaxing than other options like hostels and hotels.
Let's say you based yourself in Istanbul for a month. Aside from the city itself, full of vibrant and relatively untouristed neighbourhoods - Fener-Balat! Kadiköy! - to set up camp in, you could head out to loads of domestic destinations and not take your whole kit and kaboodle with you on hours-long journeys. Go see Bursa, Edirne, the monasteries and tea plantations of Trabzon and the eastern Black Sea coast. Fly an hour to Lake Van, northern Cyprus, Thessaloniki. Take a longer weekend trip to Tirana or Tbilisi. Take a Turkish class just to give yourself something fun and intellectually stimulating to do.
Having a base can help you feel like you aren't always on the road and really experience a place. Good luck!
posted by mdonley at 8:26 PM on September 15, 2015
Let's say you based yourself in Istanbul for a month. Aside from the city itself, full of vibrant and relatively untouristed neighbourhoods - Fener-Balat! Kadiköy! - to set up camp in, you could head out to loads of domestic destinations and not take your whole kit and kaboodle with you on hours-long journeys. Go see Bursa, Edirne, the monasteries and tea plantations of Trabzon and the eastern Black Sea coast. Fly an hour to Lake Van, northern Cyprus, Thessaloniki. Take a longer weekend trip to Tirana or Tbilisi. Take a Turkish class just to give yourself something fun and intellectually stimulating to do.
Having a base can help you feel like you aren't always on the road and really experience a place. Good luck!
posted by mdonley at 8:26 PM on September 15, 2015
You need a vacation and then to slow down. I've taken two solo RTW trips and found that if I took a vacation from my vacation every 3 months it really helped me to go back out and deal with the stress and day to day work of traveling.
About 14 months in to my last trip I took a taxi before sunrise to catch a bus leaving at 6am to Dar es Salam, sped through the streets to get to the docks and barely made the last ferry of the day to Zanzibar. I bought a ticket at the counter, where my ID was checked, showed the ticket and ID to get on the boat to a few different people and to some sort of immigration officer. When I got the the door of the ferry I had to show it again. So I sat down on the ferry prepared to relax and a plainclothes man carrying a bushel of carrots walked up to me and asked me for my ticket. I was so tired from the journey and annoyed at the boarding/ticket process that I couldn't take any more. I looked at him and said "Who are you!? You're just a guy with some carrots. I'm not giving you my ticket." and then took out a book to read. Everyone on the ferry laughed and he walked away sheepishly.
That was the point when I knew it was okay to go home. I was done.
It's okay to go home if you really want to, after you give yourself a few weeks of staying somewhere "easy" where you can eat good food and not plan or do tourist stuff every day. You are not a failure if you come home, you've completed a whole trip wherever you end it!
On the other hand, you could also take that time to sit down, relax, and plan out a few places you want to go. Surely you've hung out with other travelers, have they told you places they loved? What about just picking a region of the world, or look to find out if there are any interesting festivals to go to somewhere. Instead of traveling every day choose a place to live for a few weeks or months at a time and enjoy just relaxing. Watch the sunset. Read books. Unplug from social media. If you're a real people person then definitely stay at hostels and choose a city with a vibrant travel culture where you can meet lots of people.
Pick an activity or skill you've always wanted to try and take it up somewhere you can focus on it for a good while. Take up a project that you complete across different locations. I'm not big on volunteering unless you're going to do it for more than a month (lots of those programs need someone who they aren't training for one week of work).
Are you always doing everything the cheapest way? Either allow yourself to be treated to a fancy meal or hotel every once in a while, or if you want to go home soon spend a bit more to have a fancy bit of trip at the end—splurge for taxis, stay at a nice hotel, eat at great restaurants, pay for the guide/tour/bungee jumping, etc.
posted by Bunglegirl at 8:28 PM on September 15, 2015
About 14 months in to my last trip I took a taxi before sunrise to catch a bus leaving at 6am to Dar es Salam, sped through the streets to get to the docks and barely made the last ferry of the day to Zanzibar. I bought a ticket at the counter, where my ID was checked, showed the ticket and ID to get on the boat to a few different people and to some sort of immigration officer. When I got the the door of the ferry I had to show it again. So I sat down on the ferry prepared to relax and a plainclothes man carrying a bushel of carrots walked up to me and asked me for my ticket. I was so tired from the journey and annoyed at the boarding/ticket process that I couldn't take any more. I looked at him and said "Who are you!? You're just a guy with some carrots. I'm not giving you my ticket." and then took out a book to read. Everyone on the ferry laughed and he walked away sheepishly.
That was the point when I knew it was okay to go home. I was done.
It's okay to go home if you really want to, after you give yourself a few weeks of staying somewhere "easy" where you can eat good food and not plan or do tourist stuff every day. You are not a failure if you come home, you've completed a whole trip wherever you end it!
On the other hand, you could also take that time to sit down, relax, and plan out a few places you want to go. Surely you've hung out with other travelers, have they told you places they loved? What about just picking a region of the world, or look to find out if there are any interesting festivals to go to somewhere. Instead of traveling every day choose a place to live for a few weeks or months at a time and enjoy just relaxing. Watch the sunset. Read books. Unplug from social media. If you're a real people person then definitely stay at hostels and choose a city with a vibrant travel culture where you can meet lots of people.
Pick an activity or skill you've always wanted to try and take it up somewhere you can focus on it for a good while. Take up a project that you complete across different locations. I'm not big on volunteering unless you're going to do it for more than a month (lots of those programs need someone who they aren't training for one week of work).
Are you always doing everything the cheapest way? Either allow yourself to be treated to a fancy meal or hotel every once in a while, or if you want to go home soon spend a bit more to have a fancy bit of trip at the end—splurge for taxis, stay at a nice hotel, eat at great restaurants, pay for the guide/tour/bungee jumping, etc.
posted by Bunglegirl at 8:28 PM on September 15, 2015
I had wondered if MeFi jdroth might have popped up to share his experience. On his most recent blog entry, he explains how he decided to take a break from his 18 month RV trip around North America. Many people above have also shared anecdotes and possible solutions, so I hope that you can stop being hard on yourself.
posted by AnnaRat at 11:59 PM on September 15, 2015
posted by AnnaRat at 11:59 PM on September 15, 2015
I haven't read all of the other replies, so this may be redundant, but I DO know what you are experiencing to some extent. My husband and I travelled for 18 months and about 10 months in we were burnt out. A couple things that helped:
Stay in one place for at least a month. Literally, do not switch towns or accommodation. Cook for yourself, live like a "normal" person for a while. Unpack your bag even! A possibly interesting/cheap way to do this would be to look for a house-sitting gig. We got to live for free for one month in NZ by house-sitting. And we had a cat to keep us company as well.
My second suggestion is to dive into a project. More specifically, volunteer somewhere. Look at HelpExchange or Green Volunteers, HelpStay, or WorkAway. Find the coolest, bestest, funnest project and fly there and do that.
My husband and I volunteered at a variety of places while we travelled and I truly believe these opportunities led to some of our best (if not THE best) memories and to making new, (hopefully) lifelong friends. Option 2 (volunteer somewhere) contains Option 1, so it is a two-for-one and the one I suggest you try before deciding to go home.
We did eventually go home "early" bc of travel burn-out. But going home when you are absolutely ready to go home is better than going home potentially too early. Well, imho.
posted by Halo in reverse at 2:31 AM on September 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Stay in one place for at least a month. Literally, do not switch towns or accommodation. Cook for yourself, live like a "normal" person for a while. Unpack your bag even! A possibly interesting/cheap way to do this would be to look for a house-sitting gig. We got to live for free for one month in NZ by house-sitting. And we had a cat to keep us company as well.
My second suggestion is to dive into a project. More specifically, volunteer somewhere. Look at HelpExchange or Green Volunteers, HelpStay, or WorkAway. Find the coolest, bestest, funnest project and fly there and do that.
My husband and I volunteered at a variety of places while we travelled and I truly believe these opportunities led to some of our best (if not THE best) memories and to making new, (hopefully) lifelong friends. Option 2 (volunteer somewhere) contains Option 1, so it is a two-for-one and the one I suggest you try before deciding to go home.
We did eventually go home "early" bc of travel burn-out. But going home when you are absolutely ready to go home is better than going home potentially too early. Well, imho.
posted by Halo in reverse at 2:31 AM on September 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is very common. It happens to pretty much every traveler after about six months on the road. RTW trips are fantastic but they are mentally draining to do. Some of the things I did on my 14 month solo RTW trip:
1) as mentioned by Bunglegirl and others: take a vacation from your vacation. I was going around southeast Asia and having a super time but getting very tired. All the culture and temples were great but I needed to wind down. I week in Koh Samui and then a couple of weeks around the islands did the trick. Not changing hotels FOR A WHOLE WEEK? AMAZING!
I just chilled out on the beach and took scuba diving lessons in the lovely warm waters of the gulf of Thailand.
2) set goals. I had a list of places that I was going to see no matter what. Even if I was sick of traveling, homesick or ill, I was not going home until I saw the Great Barrier Reef and the Galapagos islands. Or what ever your must see things in the world happen to be.
3) slow down. When you are in a place like Europe or southeast Asia it is okay to hop all over the place. Cool new countries are just a few hours away by train/bus. When you are in a place like Australia or south America this does not work ( oh Australia, 23 hours on a bus and you are only half way across the country). Maybe it was the larger distance or maybe I was tired but in those places I traveled less and spent more time in fewer places. This really helped. As others have said, you don't need to see everything. If you want to spend a morning relaxing by the river watching the boats go by, do it.
4) Have "get shit done days" and limit getting shit done to those days. For example, every four or five days I would spend a few hours doing stuff like planning where I will stay next or what bus to take. I didn't do any of this on the in between days. Wikitravel is great for this. Do not spend a long time doing this. Every hotel doesn't have to be the best one. It is not like planning your regular two week vacation.
By the end of 14 months I knew I was done. I had enough money to last another year on the road but not the energy. You will feel when the end of your trip is approaching. You will know when you are done.
posted by drugstorefrog at 2:48 AM on September 16, 2015
1) as mentioned by Bunglegirl and others: take a vacation from your vacation. I was going around southeast Asia and having a super time but getting very tired. All the culture and temples were great but I needed to wind down. I week in Koh Samui and then a couple of weeks around the islands did the trick. Not changing hotels FOR A WHOLE WEEK? AMAZING!
I just chilled out on the beach and took scuba diving lessons in the lovely warm waters of the gulf of Thailand.
2) set goals. I had a list of places that I was going to see no matter what. Even if I was sick of traveling, homesick or ill, I was not going home until I saw the Great Barrier Reef and the Galapagos islands. Or what ever your must see things in the world happen to be.
3) slow down. When you are in a place like Europe or southeast Asia it is okay to hop all over the place. Cool new countries are just a few hours away by train/bus. When you are in a place like Australia or south America this does not work ( oh Australia, 23 hours on a bus and you are only half way across the country). Maybe it was the larger distance or maybe I was tired but in those places I traveled less and spent more time in fewer places. This really helped. As others have said, you don't need to see everything. If you want to spend a morning relaxing by the river watching the boats go by, do it.
4) Have "get shit done days" and limit getting shit done to those days. For example, every four or five days I would spend a few hours doing stuff like planning where I will stay next or what bus to take. I didn't do any of this on the in between days. Wikitravel is great for this. Do not spend a long time doing this. Every hotel doesn't have to be the best one. It is not like planning your regular two week vacation.
By the end of 14 months I knew I was done. I had enough money to last another year on the road but not the energy. You will feel when the end of your trip is approaching. You will know when you are done.
posted by drugstorefrog at 2:48 AM on September 16, 2015
I'm middle aged and just ended more than a year of full-time travel. I agree with the suggestions to slow way down. Toward the end I was spending two or three months in each place and it felt like an incredible luxury. It can also be cheaper -- a monthlong rental in one place is usually cheaper than four week-long stays. It also gives you the chance to become a regular at a coworking place or at meetups, giving you the semblance at least of a social life.
You might also consider giving yourself a long-term creative project. Maybe you'd like to start a written or photography project, to give you something quiet and satisfying to do that has nothing to do with travel logistics. It will become the thing that stays constant while everything around you changes, and maybe it will inspire some decisions about locations. For example, I chose some places just for their photographic appeal.
I also agree that you might look at organized tours or classes. I would have sneered quietly at them before this trip but they really helped. It was great to think, "All I have to do is show up at the corner of X and Y streets at a specific time and someone else will take care of getting me around, feeding me, and pointing out cool stuff."
posted by ceiba at 3:49 AM on September 17, 2015
You might also consider giving yourself a long-term creative project. Maybe you'd like to start a written or photography project, to give you something quiet and satisfying to do that has nothing to do with travel logistics. It will become the thing that stays constant while everything around you changes, and maybe it will inspire some decisions about locations. For example, I chose some places just for their photographic appeal.
I also agree that you might look at organized tours or classes. I would have sneered quietly at them before this trip but they really helped. It was great to think, "All I have to do is show up at the corner of X and Y streets at a specific time and someone else will take care of getting me around, feeding me, and pointing out cool stuff."
posted by ceiba at 3:49 AM on September 17, 2015
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he's encouraged friends to stop in and visit him at various points. I bet that has made a long, mostly solo trip quite special and more engaging. perhaps some friends and family might like to meet up with you at a next destination and spend some time hanging out? it might refresh your perspective and help you into a renewed headspace.
just a thought. maybe our mutual friend will share his feelings on the issue, although I'm not sure he is checking MF much these days.
have you tried reaching out to any local Mefites in various places?
posted by supermedusa at 1:07 PM on September 15, 2015 [4 favorites]