Long term traveling with partner, looking for tips and advice
January 26, 2015 9:53 AM Subscribe
We are thinking about quitting our jobs to travel for a year or so. I'm looking for general advice regarding RTW kind of traveling as well as traveling as a couple.
We've both been interested in doing this and have recently decided to actually plan for it. I've traveled by myself a few times before, spending months abroad each time. He hasn't ever gone overseas. We've taken short trips together several times, so we have an idea of what it's like to travel with each other. I'm f(27), he's 30. Been together for almost two years, living together for past 4 months. Still getting along really well and really happy together.
We both work in 9-5 creative field office jobs. I don't intend to travel for life and write for travel blogs. I'm just not quite ready to have this be the start of a routine kind of life. Thinking now's the best time to do this trip. He's also been feeling stagnant at his job and ready for a change. May return to the same city, but it's mostly up in the air. As of the now, the loose idea is to fly from US>Europe>Transiberian Rail/Mongolia>China>SE Asia>New Zealand>? Now for people who have done this:
- We're planning to spend the next year saving up for this trip. Is 10K/each even close to being enough for a year? If not, how long do you think it'll last? We will have enough award points to cover the main international flights and we would be traveling cheaply(airbnb, hostels, rideshare, not eating out a lot, maybe wwoof in the summer). I have an emergency fund so we won't be stranded in Cambodia with no money to fly back.
- How did you manage traveling with your partner for such a long time? We spend a lot of time together now, but we still have at least one night/week where we do separate things, and we work during the day. Did you allocate days apart? Was it harder or easier to meet people? Would love any advice or tips about couple traveling.
- We're toying with the idea of doing contract work while travelling. I'm a video editor, and he's an architect. What are your experiences with doing contract work? Is it possible for these fields?
What did you wish you knew before leaving for so long with a partner? It's in a year, so we have plenty of time to plan and think things out. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
We've both been interested in doing this and have recently decided to actually plan for it. I've traveled by myself a few times before, spending months abroad each time. He hasn't ever gone overseas. We've taken short trips together several times, so we have an idea of what it's like to travel with each other. I'm f(27), he's 30. Been together for almost two years, living together for past 4 months. Still getting along really well and really happy together.
We both work in 9-5 creative field office jobs. I don't intend to travel for life and write for travel blogs. I'm just not quite ready to have this be the start of a routine kind of life. Thinking now's the best time to do this trip. He's also been feeling stagnant at his job and ready for a change. May return to the same city, but it's mostly up in the air. As of the now, the loose idea is to fly from US>Europe>Transiberian Rail/Mongolia>China>SE Asia>New Zealand>? Now for people who have done this:
- We're planning to spend the next year saving up for this trip. Is 10K/each even close to being enough for a year? If not, how long do you think it'll last? We will have enough award points to cover the main international flights and we would be traveling cheaply(airbnb, hostels, rideshare, not eating out a lot, maybe wwoof in the summer). I have an emergency fund so we won't be stranded in Cambodia with no money to fly back.
- How did you manage traveling with your partner for such a long time? We spend a lot of time together now, but we still have at least one night/week where we do separate things, and we work during the day. Did you allocate days apart? Was it harder or easier to meet people? Would love any advice or tips about couple traveling.
- We're toying with the idea of doing contract work while travelling. I'm a video editor, and he's an architect. What are your experiences with doing contract work? Is it possible for these fields?
What did you wish you knew before leaving for so long with a partner? It's in a year, so we have plenty of time to plan and think things out. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
You have a lot of questions!
If you're thinking of working and traveling at the same time, one place to start your research might be makingitanywhere.com, run by an location-independent couple from London, Mish and Rob.
They speak pretty plainly about their experience. They travel, but they don't see every temple and every museum because trying to see everything and work every day is really stressful! For them, being location-independent is really more about the small variations they see in their lives every day (learning how to ask for the wifi password in a new language every couple of months, for example). But worth a look. (Their About page.)
posted by mochapickle at 10:18 AM on January 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you're thinking of working and traveling at the same time, one place to start your research might be makingitanywhere.com, run by an location-independent couple from London, Mish and Rob.
They speak pretty plainly about their experience. They travel, but they don't see every temple and every museum because trying to see everything and work every day is really stressful! For them, being location-independent is really more about the small variations they see in their lives every day (learning how to ask for the wifi password in a new language every couple of months, for example). But worth a look. (Their About page.)
posted by mochapickle at 10:18 AM on January 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
I traveled around South America for five months with my boyfriend (at that point we'd been together about a year). I actually found it easier to travel with him than I'd expected, though of course ymmv. I had traveled solo before and compared to that it was super nice to have someone to do everything with and take care of you while you were sick and watch your back--and it's just a ton of fun to share travel with an SO. We didn't really institute individual days or breaks but we did try to take individual time as needed to go for a walk or do something. Also, for a big part of that time we were volunteering at projects which meant that we didn't see each other as much during the day.
I think in my case it was harder to meet people in some ways-- I think solo travelers are great about being attracted to each other. I felt like when I traveled solo I was constantly tagging along with someone to go see a sight or sticking with someone for a week or so while our paths aligned. While I still met people, I didn't feel like there was quite as much of that when I was traveling as a couple--it's easier to keep to yourself and I think people are a little less likely to approach you.
I don't know if this is applicable to you, but I think the major downside of travelling with him was that I didn't make as much headway into improving my Spanish as I wanted. I set up the trip with that express purpose and set up what I'd be doing with that in mind. My Spanish definitely still improved, but it's just alright instead of the near-fluent I think I could have been if I hadn't been chatting with him in English all the time.
In retrospect, I wish that we'd figured out how paying for things was going to work a little better--I think it probably would have worked better to have a joint fund rather than a you-pay-this-then-i'll-pay-that system. I'm sure there are downsides to that, too, though. I think actually the toughest thing in terms of the relationship has been that since we got back a year ago money has been tight because we ended up burning through most of our respective savings--I'd say it was worth it, but things have been a little tougher than we anticipated replenishing our bank accounts which has caused tension on occasion.
posted by geegollygosh at 10:40 AM on January 26, 2015
I think in my case it was harder to meet people in some ways-- I think solo travelers are great about being attracted to each other. I felt like when I traveled solo I was constantly tagging along with someone to go see a sight or sticking with someone for a week or so while our paths aligned. While I still met people, I didn't feel like there was quite as much of that when I was traveling as a couple--it's easier to keep to yourself and I think people are a little less likely to approach you.
I don't know if this is applicable to you, but I think the major downside of travelling with him was that I didn't make as much headway into improving my Spanish as I wanted. I set up the trip with that express purpose and set up what I'd be doing with that in mind. My Spanish definitely still improved, but it's just alright instead of the near-fluent I think I could have been if I hadn't been chatting with him in English all the time.
In retrospect, I wish that we'd figured out how paying for things was going to work a little better--I think it probably would have worked better to have a joint fund rather than a you-pay-this-then-i'll-pay-that system. I'm sure there are downsides to that, too, though. I think actually the toughest thing in terms of the relationship has been that since we got back a year ago money has been tight because we ended up burning through most of our respective savings--I'd say it was worth it, but things have been a little tougher than we anticipated replenishing our bank accounts which has caused tension on occasion.
posted by geegollygosh at 10:40 AM on January 26, 2015
Yes, allocate days apart!
We got along so well we got married...YMMV. It's an intense thing to do though, and it does split couples up too. Communicate. A lot. (And have fun!)
posted by jrobin276 at 11:54 AM on January 26, 2015
We got along so well we got married...YMMV. It's an intense thing to do though, and it does split couples up too. Communicate. A lot. (And have fun!)
posted by jrobin276 at 11:54 AM on January 26, 2015
I know this only addresses a minuscule part of your question, but as a Kiwi now living in the USA I feel it's my duty to point out how expensive NZ is in comparison to most of the places you mentioned. Accommodation, food, activities, transport etc. will add up so please take that into consideration when you budget. The greenback has been weak-ish against the NZ dollar for a while now.
As much as I love my husband, I know I couldn't travel with him long haul because we have different ideas about safety (I'm a little more intrepid, and will deal with more 'grit') and how much we are willing to expend energy wise everyday. He likes a definite destination, I'm happy to wander aimlessly. I'd probably write down my deal breakers/must sees for each place, then compromise from there. I think if you are good at recognising when the other needs space and being cool with having solo days then you'll be fine.
posted by BeeJiddy at 11:24 PM on January 26, 2015
As much as I love my husband, I know I couldn't travel with him long haul because we have different ideas about safety (I'm a little more intrepid, and will deal with more 'grit') and how much we are willing to expend energy wise everyday. He likes a definite destination, I'm happy to wander aimlessly. I'd probably write down my deal breakers/must sees for each place, then compromise from there. I think if you are good at recognising when the other needs space and being cool with having solo days then you'll be fine.
posted by BeeJiddy at 11:24 PM on January 26, 2015
You're used to spending 40 to 50 hours a week apart. On a trip like this, you'll be spending most of those hours with each other if you're not careful.
Try to schedule apart time every day, not just once a week. Suppose one of you is much more active in the morning than the other is. Fine. You both agree that this unnatural early riser will leap out of bed early and hit the morning spots, go exploring, discover new things, and come home with usable toilet paper and/or the local newspaper and excellent plans for the rest of the day, while the more nocturnal person sleeps, showers, eats, reads, and writes a journal or blog or travel guide entry or something. Until a certain time every morning, barring unavoidable travel scheduling, you are free from each other, but you can always count on each other to be back at the room or at a designated spot in town at a certain time, even if it's just to say that one of you is now going to see the caves and the other is now going to see the museum but you will meet again at a certain place and time.
And make a plan for one or both of you bailing out of the trip -- for example, you absolutely have to see China this time around because oh the great wonders of China, but he has to go home now because fuck Mongolia and everything bordering it -- before one of you wants to bail out of the relationship. Arrange things so you could separate your stuff (bags, money, and tickets) into two heaps and go two separate ways until you meet again, aloha.
Also, have the emergency reserve money that he knows about, but also have the even more emergency reserve money that he doesn't ever need to know about. Mad money of a sort. You can get it if you need it, but he can't get it or even budget around you getting it because it doesn't exist as far as he knows. Just in case.
posted by pracowity at 2:57 AM on January 27, 2015
Try to schedule apart time every day, not just once a week. Suppose one of you is much more active in the morning than the other is. Fine. You both agree that this unnatural early riser will leap out of bed early and hit the morning spots, go exploring, discover new things, and come home with usable toilet paper and/or the local newspaper and excellent plans for the rest of the day, while the more nocturnal person sleeps, showers, eats, reads, and writes a journal or blog or travel guide entry or something. Until a certain time every morning, barring unavoidable travel scheduling, you are free from each other, but you can always count on each other to be back at the room or at a designated spot in town at a certain time, even if it's just to say that one of you is now going to see the caves and the other is now going to see the museum but you will meet again at a certain place and time.
And make a plan for one or both of you bailing out of the trip -- for example, you absolutely have to see China this time around because oh the great wonders of China, but he has to go home now because fuck Mongolia and everything bordering it -- before one of you wants to bail out of the relationship. Arrange things so you could separate your stuff (bags, money, and tickets) into two heaps and go two separate ways until you meet again, aloha.
Also, have the emergency reserve money that he knows about, but also have the even more emergency reserve money that he doesn't ever need to know about. Mad money of a sort. You can get it if you need it, but he can't get it or even budget around you getting it because it doesn't exist as far as he knows. Just in case.
posted by pracowity at 2:57 AM on January 27, 2015
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There are a ton of links and trip reports in the forums - it might pay to get an account and spend some time browsing.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:05 AM on January 26, 2015 [3 favorites]