Am I an alcoholic on six days a month?
April 23, 2015 1:38 PM Subscribe
I like to drink booze, and have done regularly it since I was maybe 18 (44 now). Around 18 months ago my habits were a sixpack of beer a day with a binge 3-4 times a month when I had 2-3 times that much. I have never blacked out, don't really get hangovers, don't get into trouble from drinking but was noticing that I was getting sneakier and sneakier in how I got my fix, plus expensive, plus weight gain. I decided that I was a functional alcoholic.
I decided to do something, and developed a scheme at the beginning of 2014 where I allowed myself six days in the month where I could drink as much as I wanted (some nights up to a bottle of wine and a six pack, other nights just the sixpack). On all other days in the month I would drink nothing (apart from quite a bit of carbonated water, never with any flavourings).
I find this scheme easy to maintain and haven't missed a day since I started it. I like the way I can anticipate my boozy days (while also forcing me to acknowledge that I don't really enjoy them significantly more than non-boozy days). I also let myself trade off a single booze day for two days where I have two drinks; again, just as much fun as binging.
So now the scheme is settled in, I've lost quite a bit of weight, I get to drink from time to time, and I'm actually enjoying both the drinking and the not-drinking. I'm completely confident I can do this for the rest of my life, and I'm happy to do that.
But I'm aware that I've basically gamified alcoholism, and that most people don't need this sort of elaborate scheme to drink sensibly.
So AskMefi: taking me at my word that I can comfortably and reliably continue this forever (and I'm pretty sure I can), am I fooling myself that it's an acceptable compromise to strike?
I decided to do something, and developed a scheme at the beginning of 2014 where I allowed myself six days in the month where I could drink as much as I wanted (some nights up to a bottle of wine and a six pack, other nights just the sixpack). On all other days in the month I would drink nothing (apart from quite a bit of carbonated water, never with any flavourings).
I find this scheme easy to maintain and haven't missed a day since I started it. I like the way I can anticipate my boozy days (while also forcing me to acknowledge that I don't really enjoy them significantly more than non-boozy days). I also let myself trade off a single booze day for two days where I have two drinks; again, just as much fun as binging.
So now the scheme is settled in, I've lost quite a bit of weight, I get to drink from time to time, and I'm actually enjoying both the drinking and the not-drinking. I'm completely confident I can do this for the rest of my life, and I'm happy to do that.
But I'm aware that I've basically gamified alcoholism, and that most people don't need this sort of elaborate scheme to drink sensibly.
So AskMefi: taking me at my word that I can comfortably and reliably continue this forever (and I'm pretty sure I can), am I fooling myself that it's an acceptable compromise to strike?
If you were in a dependence relationship with alcohol, it's relatively unlikely that you'd be able to sustain a year-long motivational bargain like you've described.
One of the hats I wear is as an epidemiologist, and I'll tell you that there's a recognition in the public health world that some of the consensus statements about recreational substance use are at times laughably out of step with human experience. Sometimes this has to do with loaded terminology, like the phrase "binge drinking" itself. Some authorities say that having 5 drinks in one session qualifies as a binge. Most people who've spent time in bars tend to giggle at that thought, and think of binge drinking more like the black-out stuff you mention. Likewise, "excessive drinking" has (variable) technical definitions, like 15 drinks per week for men. "Excessive" there sounds like a judgment to many people on the receiving end of the definition, and just as laughable.
These definitions, though, are trying to distill a measure that's relevant to an entire population down to a tally that can be assigned to an individual. It's not a very sophisticated tool when used that way, and it has meaning only in terms of population-based health assessments. Meaning, yes, it's true that if an entire population drinks one fewer drink per day then the net impact would be a reduction in alcohol-mediated adverse health outcomes (like car crashes, liver disease, some cancers, etc.). But it really doesn't mean much at the individual level.
The good news here is that other wings of public health are better at translating this to the individual (and your timing for asking is pretty spot on). In terms of harm reduction, yes, you're doing good. Actually, you're doing great. Good on you.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 1:59 PM on April 23, 2015 [30 favorites]
One of the hats I wear is as an epidemiologist, and I'll tell you that there's a recognition in the public health world that some of the consensus statements about recreational substance use are at times laughably out of step with human experience. Sometimes this has to do with loaded terminology, like the phrase "binge drinking" itself. Some authorities say that having 5 drinks in one session qualifies as a binge. Most people who've spent time in bars tend to giggle at that thought, and think of binge drinking more like the black-out stuff you mention. Likewise, "excessive drinking" has (variable) technical definitions, like 15 drinks per week for men. "Excessive" there sounds like a judgment to many people on the receiving end of the definition, and just as laughable.
These definitions, though, are trying to distill a measure that's relevant to an entire population down to a tally that can be assigned to an individual. It's not a very sophisticated tool when used that way, and it has meaning only in terms of population-based health assessments. Meaning, yes, it's true that if an entire population drinks one fewer drink per day then the net impact would be a reduction in alcohol-mediated adverse health outcomes (like car crashes, liver disease, some cancers, etc.). But it really doesn't mean much at the individual level.
The good news here is that other wings of public health are better at translating this to the individual (and your timing for asking is pretty spot on). In terms of harm reduction, yes, you're doing good. Actually, you're doing great. Good on you.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 1:59 PM on April 23, 2015 [30 favorites]
I do much the same thing. I really only drink on weekends. I could have a few beers every night - I can afford it, and it wouldn't impact anything. But like you, I'm getting on in years, and my weight and cost and blah blah. So, Like you, I save it as a treat.
Here's my metric on that : Is it there a problem ?
Sure, it's not the healthiest of behaviors - but I bet you don't eat super healthy, enjoy caffeine and sugar, and aren't super diligent about washing your hands or food safety. You probably drive to work, don't exercise enough, and don't actually floss every day, either.
You get the idea.
So, on balance, you probably could stand to cut back more. But, as you've noticed, its hard to go total cold turkey when there is no reason to besides a sort of nebulous "it'd be better, I guess" feeling that you should and it's something that you enjoy.
So, Internet dude says, based on your description, you're fine. Stop beating yourself up over it, be honest with yourself that you enjoy what you are doing, even if it is suboptimal.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 2:00 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Here's my metric on that : Is it there a problem ?
Sure, it's not the healthiest of behaviors - but I bet you don't eat super healthy, enjoy caffeine and sugar, and aren't super diligent about washing your hands or food safety. You probably drive to work, don't exercise enough, and don't actually floss every day, either.
You get the idea.
So, on balance, you probably could stand to cut back more. But, as you've noticed, its hard to go total cold turkey when there is no reason to besides a sort of nebulous "it'd be better, I guess" feeling that you should and it's something that you enjoy.
So, Internet dude says, based on your description, you're fine. Stop beating yourself up over it, be honest with yourself that you enjoy what you are doing, even if it is suboptimal.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 2:00 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
You're basically binge-drinking six times a month. This has lots of detrimental effects on your body. It can cause brain damage, significantly increases your risk of a stroke, heart issues (both chronic and acute)... The list goes on. I wouldn't want a close friend or partner who drank that much. I'm not alone - research shows that you're probably also hurting yourself socially with your drinking patterns.
But it's your body and your life and your time. You've already cut back successfully. Why not try to cut back more? Having one drink every day or every other day is significantly better for you than drinking six to twelve drinks in one sitting six times a month. Not drinking is even better for you. Why not try cutting back more and seeing how that goes?
posted by sockermom at 2:01 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
But it's your body and your life and your time. You've already cut back successfully. Why not try to cut back more? Having one drink every day or every other day is significantly better for you than drinking six to twelve drinks in one sitting six times a month. Not drinking is even better for you. Why not try cutting back more and seeing how that goes?
posted by sockermom at 2:01 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yes, this can work for some people. I know a guy from my old job who gets plastered every weekend (as well as for the Super Bowl and the World Series), and doesn't touch a drop the rest of the time. (He says it interferes with his work, and he is very dedicated to his career.) He's been doing this for 30 years, and his health is no better or worse than most people.
The only thing to watch for is whether the frequency is creeping up on you. (Ok, I did six days this month, maybe no one will notice if I do seven days next month...)
Basically, alcohol is only a problem if it interferes with the things you want in life. If it doesn't, then you're good (being mindful of the things you mention, like weight gain and such).
posted by Melismata at 2:04 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
The only thing to watch for is whether the frequency is creeping up on you. (Ok, I did six days this month, maybe no one will notice if I do seven days next month...)
Basically, alcohol is only a problem if it interferes with the things you want in life. If it doesn't, then you're good (being mindful of the things you mention, like weight gain and such).
posted by Melismata at 2:04 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
IANAD. You seem to be controlling a compulsion to drink by, as you say, gamifying it. The danger here is that alcoholism is notoriously a progressive condition, making it hard to take you at your word that you can maintain this regimen forever. But, since you did ask to make that assumption, I'll move on.
Most definitions of alcoholism or alcohol abuse focus on whether drinking ever causes you to put the safety and wellbeing of yourself or others at risk. It sounds like you've mostly avoided this so far, though the binge drinking isn't great for your health. (I'm assuming your "binge days" are not during times when you're planning to drive, responsible for children, etc.)
You could check out the NIAAA's "Rethinking Drinking" website, which is explicitly set up to help people judge whether their drinking habits may be putting them at risk, and what level of risk is acceptable.
posted by Wretch729 at 2:07 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Most definitions of alcoholism or alcohol abuse focus on whether drinking ever causes you to put the safety and wellbeing of yourself or others at risk. It sounds like you've mostly avoided this so far, though the binge drinking isn't great for your health. (I'm assuming your "binge days" are not during times when you're planning to drive, responsible for children, etc.)
You could check out the NIAAA's "Rethinking Drinking" website, which is explicitly set up to help people judge whether their drinking habits may be putting them at risk, and what level of risk is acceptable.
posted by Wretch729 at 2:07 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Is your drinking causing you problem(s) in the (a) immediate or short-term; (b) long-term? If the answer to both of these is no, then you're good. Examples of short-term problems are missing work, fights with friends and family, weight gain. An example of a long-term problem is liver damage.
posted by girlpublisher at 2:12 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by girlpublisher at 2:12 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
On preview, Wretch729 raises an important point about progressive issues. You need to periodically check in and ask yourself if your drinking is a problem. What is okay now might be too much at some future point, or you might creep into drinking more and need to re-set.
posted by girlpublisher at 2:18 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by girlpublisher at 2:18 PM on April 23, 2015
You've gotten some excellent advice, I think. Another framework that might interest you as you consider this issue is the latest version of the American Psychiatric Association's criteria for alcohol use disorder (which is the clinical term for alcoholism), in the DSM 5. There are 11 possible criteria for diagnosing a substance use disorder, which you can find here. Having two or three symptoms indicates a mild disorder. Having 6 or more indicates a severe substance use disorder. How would you score yourself?
Some caveats:
1) The DSM has its flaws. It is for the most part consensus based, not strictly evidenced based, for one thing. However, I think the committee on substance use has captured many aspects of addiction involving alcohol in its definition, and it reflects the fact that addiction is not black or white but lies on a continuum.
2) Self-diagnosis can't replace a medical assessment. If you are concerned (and it sounds like you are), see a doctor.
3) Aside from whether you have an alcohol use disorder, you need to consider the harm you are doing to your body with these binges.
posted by reren at 2:18 PM on April 23, 2015
Some caveats:
1) The DSM has its flaws. It is for the most part consensus based, not strictly evidenced based, for one thing. However, I think the committee on substance use has captured many aspects of addiction involving alcohol in its definition, and it reflects the fact that addiction is not black or white but lies on a continuum.
2) Self-diagnosis can't replace a medical assessment. If you are concerned (and it sounds like you are), see a doctor.
3) Aside from whether you have an alcohol use disorder, you need to consider the harm you are doing to your body with these binges.
posted by reren at 2:18 PM on April 23, 2015
I don't want to take you at your word. What does your significant other say? Or your friends? (Or...are you lacking in personal connections? If yes, that's a red flag.)
Assuming you have a significant other + friends: are they saying, "Yeah, Anon's totally chill, drinks when he wants to, doesn't when he doesn't want to, no worries." Or are they saying, "This is bullshit because he's still (fill in the blank -- planning his entire life around alcohol, constantly focusing on whether or not today's a drinking day, isn't around for me and the kids on the nights when he's super drunk from having a bottle of wine and a six-pack). If you're really brave and really serious about this, you'll take a survey and listen to what they're saying about you.
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:32 PM on April 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
Assuming you have a significant other + friends: are they saying, "Yeah, Anon's totally chill, drinks when he wants to, doesn't when he doesn't want to, no worries." Or are they saying, "This is bullshit because he's still (fill in the blank -- planning his entire life around alcohol, constantly focusing on whether or not today's a drinking day, isn't around for me and the kids on the nights when he's super drunk from having a bottle of wine and a six-pack). If you're really brave and really serious about this, you'll take a survey and listen to what they're saying about you.
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:32 PM on April 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
Hrm. I'm not sure your premises are correct, so I want to challenge you on them.
I decided that I was a functional alcoholic.
It's not something you decide on, the terminology is unimportant. If you meet the criteria, you have an alcohol abuse problem. It sounds like you do meet the criteria, from your description, but it wasn't something you decided. It was something you chose to accept. That acceptance is awesome, but you didn't decide it.
I like the way I can anticipate my boozy days (while also forcing me to acknowledge that I don't really enjoy them significantly more than non-boozy days).
This doesn't really jibe with your later assertion that you are "enjoying both the drinking and the not-drinking." It sounds like you are coming to realize that you're not really enjoying the drinking days any more than the non-drinking days, and yet you're committing to your game anyway.
I also let myself trade off a single booze day for two days where I have two drinks; again, just as much fun as binging.
Yet you're not really sure binging is more fun to begin with. Assuming you really do feel that binging is fun but drinking two drinks instead is just as fun, and you're already concerned or you wouldn't be on the internet seeking input, why wouldn't you just commit to only two drinks six days a month, instead of binging six days a month and swapping it out for two drinks on another unscheduled day in exchange because you couldn't wait for binge day?
I'm completely confident I can do this for the rest of my life.
Science doesn't confirm this, even though you feel like you've got this now. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. It gets worse, not better, if left untreated.
I'm aware that I've basically gamified alcoholism, and that most people don't need this sort of elaborate scheme to drink sensibly.
If you're aware it's a game, you must realize that it's not sensible. Maybe time to reframe that for yourself?
Look. This is absolutely a good example of harm reduction, which is a viable tactic to reduce negative consequences of a harmful behavior. You have successfully done that; you've lost some weight and probably have some more money in your pocket. But you're fooling yourself that this is a viable compromise to keep your alcoholism at bay. There is no such thing as a part-time alcoholic. If you are literally arranging your life around the six days a month you get to drink, you have an alcohol abuse problem. If you want to stop drinking, you'll know when you're ready. Until then, I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
posted by juniperesque at 2:50 PM on April 23, 2015 [11 favorites]
I decided that I was a functional alcoholic.
It's not something you decide on, the terminology is unimportant. If you meet the criteria, you have an alcohol abuse problem. It sounds like you do meet the criteria, from your description, but it wasn't something you decided. It was something you chose to accept. That acceptance is awesome, but you didn't decide it.
I like the way I can anticipate my boozy days (while also forcing me to acknowledge that I don't really enjoy them significantly more than non-boozy days).
This doesn't really jibe with your later assertion that you are "enjoying both the drinking and the not-drinking." It sounds like you are coming to realize that you're not really enjoying the drinking days any more than the non-drinking days, and yet you're committing to your game anyway.
I also let myself trade off a single booze day for two days where I have two drinks; again, just as much fun as binging.
Yet you're not really sure binging is more fun to begin with. Assuming you really do feel that binging is fun but drinking two drinks instead is just as fun, and you're already concerned or you wouldn't be on the internet seeking input, why wouldn't you just commit to only two drinks six days a month, instead of binging six days a month and swapping it out for two drinks on another unscheduled day in exchange because you couldn't wait for binge day?
I'm completely confident I can do this for the rest of my life.
Science doesn't confirm this, even though you feel like you've got this now. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. It gets worse, not better, if left untreated.
I'm aware that I've basically gamified alcoholism, and that most people don't need this sort of elaborate scheme to drink sensibly.
If you're aware it's a game, you must realize that it's not sensible. Maybe time to reframe that for yourself?
Look. This is absolutely a good example of harm reduction, which is a viable tactic to reduce negative consequences of a harmful behavior. You have successfully done that; you've lost some weight and probably have some more money in your pocket. But you're fooling yourself that this is a viable compromise to keep your alcoholism at bay. There is no such thing as a part-time alcoholic. If you are literally arranging your life around the six days a month you get to drink, you have an alcohol abuse problem. If you want to stop drinking, you'll know when you're ready. Until then, I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
posted by juniperesque at 2:50 PM on April 23, 2015 [11 favorites]
I think asking your friends and family if they agree with your assessment of how the style of drinking is working for you. It is good to get that outside perspective. I tend to think that drinking is fine, even drinking that would be classified as "excessive" or whatever, as long as it doesn't interfere with or take the place of life goals. Do you have hobbies or interests other than drinking? Good relationships?
It can cause brain damage
Well, that study isn't about drinking and brain damage, it is about drinking patterns in UK undergraduates. It does briefly reference another study that found young adult rats were more likely to have brain damage after binge drinking than older adult rats. Which is not really relevant to this question. I point this out to highlight the role that confirmation bias plays in people's discussions about what is too much drinking. So for some people, your amount of drinking is clearly too much. But what random people think isn't the issue. What is important is what the people in your life think.
Maybe think about checking in with yourself and a significant other or close friend on a semi-regular basis for a reality check. Am I drinking more? Is it having a negative impact on the people close to me? Am I feeling out of control? Is drinking getting in the way of accomplishing X goal or Y interest? And go from there.
posted by jeoc at 3:55 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
It can cause brain damage
Well, that study isn't about drinking and brain damage, it is about drinking patterns in UK undergraduates. It does briefly reference another study that found young adult rats were more likely to have brain damage after binge drinking than older adult rats. Which is not really relevant to this question. I point this out to highlight the role that confirmation bias plays in people's discussions about what is too much drinking. So for some people, your amount of drinking is clearly too much. But what random people think isn't the issue. What is important is what the people in your life think.
Maybe think about checking in with yourself and a significant other or close friend on a semi-regular basis for a reality check. Am I drinking more? Is it having a negative impact on the people close to me? Am I feeling out of control? Is drinking getting in the way of accomplishing X goal or Y interest? And go from there.
posted by jeoc at 3:55 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Something you might like to think on, is why if you know you can have just as much fun not drinking as drinking do you feel compelled to "binge" drink on those days other that you can? Why can't you just have one or 2 drinks on those days? It seems at the moment when you do drink less on your drinking days you justify it by "rewarding" yourself for being good by having the rest of your allotted drinks on another day? Do you ever skip drinking days? Forget they are coming up or do you count down to them waiting excitedly for them? Do you feel because you are only allowed to drink on those days you have to get x amount of alcohol? You don't have to answer here, but thinking about those answers might give you some insight into just how much you are or aren't fooling yourself this is working.
Just so you know where I am coming from, my father was a functioning alcoholic, he was a Chef so got Sunday & Monday nights off & would only get drunk after 6pm on those days. We kids learned to hate the sound of the 6pm news because that would signal the start of his drinking. He never drank on a work day, never drank before 6, but he still drank to excess and messed our entire family, he did eventually realize he had a problem & stopped all together.
posted by wwax at 4:35 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Just so you know where I am coming from, my father was a functioning alcoholic, he was a Chef so got Sunday & Monday nights off & would only get drunk after 6pm on those days. We kids learned to hate the sound of the 6pm news because that would signal the start of his drinking. He never drank on a work day, never drank before 6, but he still drank to excess and messed our entire family, he did eventually realize he had a problem & stopped all together.
posted by wwax at 4:35 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
So AskMefi: taking me at my word that I can comfortably and reliably continue this forever (and I'm pretty sure I can), am I fooling myself that it's an acceptable compromise to strike?
I think it's perfectly fine assuming that on those days you're not drinking and driving, drunk dialing your exes, or doing anything else regrettable. If you're just 'getting drunk'--who cares? If you're not hurting your connection to your SO, yourself, your physicality in any other way, putting anyone in danger...seriously, who cares?
I would keep an eye on 'bravery' i.e. can you still have uncomfortable sober conversations with people? That's kind of a key thing in avoidance behavior. As long as you're not dodging that sort of thing and hiding behind alcohol, it seems perfectly fine to me.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:16 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think it's perfectly fine assuming that on those days you're not drinking and driving, drunk dialing your exes, or doing anything else regrettable. If you're just 'getting drunk'--who cares? If you're not hurting your connection to your SO, yourself, your physicality in any other way, putting anyone in danger...seriously, who cares?
I would keep an eye on 'bravery' i.e. can you still have uncomfortable sober conversations with people? That's kind of a key thing in avoidance behavior. As long as you're not dodging that sort of thing and hiding behind alcohol, it seems perfectly fine to me.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:16 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I feel an obligation to comment on this statement:
I'm completely confident I can do this for the rest of my life.
Science doesn't confirm this, even though you feel like you've got this now. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. It gets worse, not better, if left untreated..
This is not true. Many people do get better, and natural recovery (as opposed to treatment) is the predominant path to remission. See here for some evidence.
This doesn't mean that recovery is inevitable, nor that treatment is worthless, only that many people do get better on their own. (It's also probably a reflection of how bad most alcohol treatment offered in the U.S. is.) I don't know whether the OP has an alcohol use disorder at the moment or whether he or she needs to abstain, but steering a gradual path to recovery is not only possible but common.
posted by reren at 5:45 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'm completely confident I can do this for the rest of my life.
Science doesn't confirm this, even though you feel like you've got this now. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. It gets worse, not better, if left untreated..
This is not true. Many people do get better, and natural recovery (as opposed to treatment) is the predominant path to remission. See here for some evidence.
This doesn't mean that recovery is inevitable, nor that treatment is worthless, only that many people do get better on their own. (It's also probably a reflection of how bad most alcohol treatment offered in the U.S. is.) I don't know whether the OP has an alcohol use disorder at the moment or whether he or she needs to abstain, but steering a gradual path to recovery is not only possible but common.
posted by reren at 5:45 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
I have no special insight into safe and healthy drinking levels, but I do think it is worth noting that tolerance goes down as you drink less, so even though you are drinking a lot less in absolute amounts, the impact of any one night's drinking might be larger on your behavior and attitude. The suggestion above to check in with your family or friends as to the impact of your drinking is probably very good advice, given how hard it is to assess the impact from the inside.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:32 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Dip Flash at 6:32 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
The thing that jumps out at me as concerning is the high alcohol days when you have a six pack plus a bottle of wine. That's a lot of alcohol in one go and although there are plenty of people who drink that much at a time, it's pretty widely considered unhealthy in medical circles. The risks include injuries/traumas, acute liver damage, (and contributes to long-term liver disease), and alcohol poisoning/overdose.
Besides that, I agree with those who suggest you create an opportunity for loved ones to give you some feedback about this, but otherwise, if it's working for you, have fun!
posted by latkes at 8:07 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Besides that, I agree with those who suggest you create an opportunity for loved ones to give you some feedback about this, but otherwise, if it's working for you, have fun!
posted by latkes at 8:07 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Congratulations for figuring out a way to address the problem that alcohol was causing in your life. You're in line with the majority of people who find their way out of problematic substance use without ever going to formal treatment. If it's working for you, and you'rve reduced the harms that you were previously experiencing, that's great.
My questions would be less about whether this is ok -- it seems like it is for now -- and more about how you would know if this approach stopped working. What would be the flags that would make you reconsider? Weight gain? Going over your limits? And do you have a person in your life you can trust to let you know if they feel like you're heading back to bad habits? What are things that you can put in place to help you know when you need to make a change?
posted by gingerbeer at 9:53 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
My questions would be less about whether this is ok -- it seems like it is for now -- and more about how you would know if this approach stopped working. What would be the flags that would make you reconsider? Weight gain? Going over your limits? And do you have a person in your life you can trust to let you know if they feel like you're heading back to bad habits? What are things that you can put in place to help you know when you need to make a change?
posted by gingerbeer at 9:53 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Hello! Are you me? A few years ago, I was behaving and thinking in a similar way. Long story short: I ended up surrendering to the inevitable and stopped drinking completely. That was 16 months ago, and I haven't looked back. Should you do the same? I can't tell you!
It was a long process for me, rather than a dramatic come to Jesus moment. I spent several years trying out various control methods like taking time off, or only drinking six very special beers per month (unless I went out for the night, then all bets were off), and then another year of "I think I should probably stop this" before I finally gave up. Then one day I woke up and I was just ready. The simplicity of not drinking at all actually came as a huge relief, compared to the constant schemes, trade-offs, and exceptions. Would the same thing be true for you? I have no way of knowing!
You know that bit in the Matrix where Neo's in the back of the car and the door opens and he's confronted with a choice: take the road you know (and you know exactly where it ends), or head off in a different direction? I think you're at a similar point in your life. I suspect you're asking this question because, deep down, you know the answer - you just haven't decided whether or not you want to hear it yet. So, are you fooling yourself? Only you can say.
Whatever you do, please be kind to yourself, take care and feel free to memail me. Best of luck to you.
posted by ZipRibbons at 3:13 AM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
It was a long process for me, rather than a dramatic come to Jesus moment. I spent several years trying out various control methods like taking time off, or only drinking six very special beers per month (unless I went out for the night, then all bets were off), and then another year of "I think I should probably stop this" before I finally gave up. Then one day I woke up and I was just ready. The simplicity of not drinking at all actually came as a huge relief, compared to the constant schemes, trade-offs, and exceptions. Would the same thing be true for you? I have no way of knowing!
You know that bit in the Matrix where Neo's in the back of the car and the door opens and he's confronted with a choice: take the road you know (and you know exactly where it ends), or head off in a different direction? I think you're at a similar point in your life. I suspect you're asking this question because, deep down, you know the answer - you just haven't decided whether or not you want to hear it yet. So, are you fooling yourself? Only you can say.
Whatever you do, please be kind to yourself, take care and feel free to memail me. Best of luck to you.
posted by ZipRibbons at 3:13 AM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
So you are getting completely trashed every weekend and you are 44, plus a few weeknights? Whatever you call it, that would be a seriously problematic pattern for me if I were your partner, friend, or relative. And increasing your risk of injury and cancer as you get older. Also consider what you could be doing on the weekends instead of getting trashed. Alcohol is basically your hobby now.
posted by yarly at 5:18 AM on April 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by yarly at 5:18 AM on April 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
"I also let myself trade off a single booze day for two days where I have two drinks; again, just as much fun as binging."
Having two drinks a day on many/most days would almost certainly be significantly healthier than your current periodic binging. So it's really just as much fun, switch to that. (There's also significant, if not conclusive, evidence that moderate drinking is healthier than teetotaling.)
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 6:22 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Having two drinks a day on many/most days would almost certainly be significantly healthier than your current periodic binging. So it's really just as much fun, switch to that. (There's also significant, if not conclusive, evidence that moderate drinking is healthier than teetotaling.)
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 6:22 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
One question would be, what if something happened in your life to destabilize things? Right now you are doing a weekends-only drinking thing, which is what a lot of people do for whatever reason, whether they have ever identified a problem or not. What if you lost your job, your relationship or something else happened to disrupt your routine? What if you got injured and developed some kind of chronic pain that was way too easy to treat with a couple of scotches or some prescription painkillers, or both? I think there are a lot of people out there who are sort of "regular drinkers" but might start drinking daily if the balance of their life altered; are you one of these?
In answer to your question, "Is this an acceptable compromise?" The way you have framed it, surely the answer is it is, until it's not. If it's acceptable to you the way it's going just now, well then it is. Something might change though. The way you process alcohol may alter with time and you just won't be able to drink as much in one sitting without getting really, really drunk or having a horrible hangover. You hear a lot about people just aging out of heavy drinking and I think that's a real thing; after a certain point your body just doesn't tolerate alcohol. You'll just have to see.
posted by BibiRose at 6:26 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
In answer to your question, "Is this an acceptable compromise?" The way you have framed it, surely the answer is it is, until it's not. If it's acceptable to you the way it's going just now, well then it is. Something might change though. The way you process alcohol may alter with time and you just won't be able to drink as much in one sitting without getting really, really drunk or having a horrible hangover. You hear a lot about people just aging out of heavy drinking and I think that's a real thing; after a certain point your body just doesn't tolerate alcohol. You'll just have to see.
posted by BibiRose at 6:26 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think it's important to remember that there's a significant difference between problem drinking and alcoholism. In my, utterly inexpert, opinion, if you cut back as much as you did, as easily as you did, it would tend to suggest the former, and not the latter. Of course, it would be better for your health if you drank less - but there's all sorts of changes all of us could make to our lifestyles in that respect. I guess the key question is compulsion - can you miss out on having a drink if it's inconvenient to do so? If you've no problem with that, I'd personally consider this alongside other health issues (diet, exercise etc), rather than as an issue of addiction.
posted by prentiz at 8:10 AM on April 24, 2015
posted by prentiz at 8:10 AM on April 24, 2015
In my view there are two major factors to consider regarding the sustained implementation of your harm reduction method. First, as others have noted, does this impact your relations with loved ones? Second, what long term impact is this having on your health?
If you plan to continue on your current course indefinitely, it would likely be a good idea to regularly step back and assess both of these. Have honest discussions with your family/friends, and regularly visit your doctor and make sure they are aware of your drinking habits.
I cannot say whether this is the right course for you and you have gotten a lot of good advice on here, but I would urge you to carefully watch the above suggestions regardless of what path you take.
posted by kardia at 8:53 AM on April 24, 2015
If you plan to continue on your current course indefinitely, it would likely be a good idea to regularly step back and assess both of these. Have honest discussions with your family/friends, and regularly visit your doctor and make sure they are aware of your drinking habits.
I cannot say whether this is the right course for you and you have gotten a lot of good advice on here, but I would urge you to carefully watch the above suggestions regardless of what path you take.
posted by kardia at 8:53 AM on April 24, 2015
There was a thread on the blue recently, about naltrexone. It was a piece in the Atlantic. Just search my username if you want. I don't comment much but I did in that post. You sound generally responsible to me.
posted by yesster at 9:46 PM on April 24, 2015
posted by yesster at 9:46 PM on April 24, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by lockestockbarrel at 1:54 PM on April 23, 2015 [10 favorites]