Baby countdown - how should I spend my last weeks before I'm a mom?
March 2, 2015 5:17 PM Subscribe
I'm on maternity leave now, at 32 weeks, since my job is very physical. I'm still feeling really good, though sometimes a little tired. What kinds of things should I be doing with my day to make the most of this time? What do you wish you had done before becoming a parent? Looking for all kinds of suggestions, from health-related to frivolous splurges.
Seconding the movies. My daughter is thirteen months old and we just saw our first movie in the theater since her birth two weeks ago. We have traveled, and eaten out plenty--both were manageable with baby. But movies not so much.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:27 PM on March 2, 2015
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:27 PM on March 2, 2015
Said this before: The changing table must allow proper clearance for your barefoot toes. Ouch!
posted by Mr. Yuck at 5:27 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr. Yuck at 5:27 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, also if your doctor is okay with it and you and your partner are feeling up for it, have lots of sex. Once the baby comes it will be minimally 6 weeks before that can happen again.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:31 PM on March 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:31 PM on March 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Make food, freeze it. If you aren't already exercising, you can still get into it. I had a great recovery and I credit working out. Get your hair cut, manicure/pedicure, brows, etc. the week before you are due. See a financial planner. If you are thinking about a new car, do it now. Test drives are impossible with baby. Get your pets up to date on shots, etc.
posted by mrfuga0 at 5:35 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by mrfuga0 at 5:35 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
Enjoy sleeping - Sleep in, nap whenever you feel like it. Also, if you enjoy cooking this may be the last chance you have to concentrate uninterrupted in the kitchen for a while.
posted by cestmoi15 at 5:36 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by cestmoi15 at 5:36 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
I wish I'd taken an infant CPR and first aid course. It somehow escaped my attention, and it's hard to attend a class when you actually have an infant.
Get a pedicure. My feet have never been handled by as many people as did during childbirth.
posted by Kriesa at 5:39 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
Get a pedicure. My feet have never been handled by as many people as did during childbirth.
posted by Kriesa at 5:39 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
single serving freezer meals and snacks!
prenatal yoga
drink red raspberry leaf tea
a massage! because why not?
also, baby may come sooner than you expect. I planned on getting my hair cut, mani, pedi a week before my due date, and my son came two weeks early.
posted by sabh at 6:03 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
prenatal yoga
drink red raspberry leaf tea
a massage! because why not?
also, baby may come sooner than you expect. I planned on getting my hair cut, mani, pedi a week before my due date, and my son came two weeks early.
posted by sabh at 6:03 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
(1) SLEEP. Whenever you feel like it.
(2) Go outside and do whatever you want. Whenever you feel like it. Then come back whenever you feel like it.
posted by DMelanogaster at 6:11 PM on March 2, 2015 [10 favorites]
(2) Go outside and do whatever you want. Whenever you feel like it. Then come back whenever you feel like it.
posted by DMelanogaster at 6:11 PM on March 2, 2015 [10 favorites]
Do you like to shop? When I was 40 weeks pregnant and otherwise wanted to die, I spent 2 blissful hours slowly strolling through Homegoods by myself examining All The Things. Granted, slowly strolling was about as fast as I was able to move anyway, but just spending time doing something stupid and useless that I enjoyed was amazing. It was a memory that I clung to for many months and honestly still cling to today. My baby is 17 months so I pop into Homegoods all the time, but it's just that -- a pop in. All my shopping nowadays is planned and optimized for time.
posted by gatorae at 6:18 PM on March 2, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by gatorae at 6:18 PM on March 2, 2015 [5 favorites]
My first is 21 months old and I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my second. I recommend:
Movies in the theater.
Personal grooming--haircut, pedicure, eyebrow wax, etc.
Put your bills on auto-pay.
Stock your house with toilet paper, laundry soap, canned goods, etc.
Do any projects that require an attention span, like baking or sewing.
Just sit and read a book with a cup of coffee or tea. Take periodic breaks to enjoy the silence.
Sleeeeeeeeep.
posted by apricot at 6:28 PM on March 2, 2015 [7 favorites]
Movies in the theater.
Personal grooming--haircut, pedicure, eyebrow wax, etc.
Put your bills on auto-pay.
Stock your house with toilet paper, laundry soap, canned goods, etc.
Do any projects that require an attention span, like baking or sewing.
Just sit and read a book with a cup of coffee or tea. Take periodic breaks to enjoy the silence.
Sleeeeeeeeep.
posted by apricot at 6:28 PM on March 2, 2015 [7 favorites]
Oh God I would get so much sleep. I would do absolutely nothing but what felt good. Watch television. Get in a pool and float around. Read books! Go to the movies. Walk around an art museum. Get a haircut. Maybe a facial too. Get massages. Have someone clean my bathroom and wash the windows and clean out my fridge. Go out to a fancy restaurant.
I will be the first to admit that I worked way too hard during my pregnancies and did not take the opportunity to enjoy my remaining time as a childless adult. So all that stuff was the stuff I wish I had done.
Do all the fun things you can't do or are hard to do with children. There will be lots of fun things with a child but they won't be those fun things.
Enjoy yourself!
posted by teamnap at 6:35 PM on March 2, 2015 [6 favorites]
I will be the first to admit that I worked way too hard during my pregnancies and did not take the opportunity to enjoy my remaining time as a childless adult. So all that stuff was the stuff I wish I had done.
Do all the fun things you can't do or are hard to do with children. There will be lots of fun things with a child but they won't be those fun things.
Enjoy yourself!
posted by teamnap at 6:35 PM on March 2, 2015 [6 favorites]
1. Sleep. Sleep a lot.
2. Make tons of food to put in the freezer for easy defrost and stock the pantry.
3. Agree with the mani/pedi, but don't get a color, because you'll never have time to remove the polish - just do clear or a clean up.
4. I would also sign up for Netflix immediately (if you aren't already signed up) and get your cue loaded. I started watching Law and Order when nursing - now on season 16 after 5 months (only 10 more seasons to go!) This will keep you from going completely insane when baby arrives and you are trapped under a nursing infant.
5. Set up autopay for all of your bills and autoreminders on things that you think you'll remember (like taxes?) because you won't.
6. Become familiar with websites like diapers.com for autodelivery of items. This has been a life saver.
posted by Toddles at 6:40 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
2. Make tons of food to put in the freezer for easy defrost and stock the pantry.
3. Agree with the mani/pedi, but don't get a color, because you'll never have time to remove the polish - just do clear or a clean up.
4. I would also sign up for Netflix immediately (if you aren't already signed up) and get your cue loaded. I started watching Law and Order when nursing - now on season 16 after 5 months (only 10 more seasons to go!) This will keep you from going completely insane when baby arrives and you are trapped under a nursing infant.
5. Set up autopay for all of your bills and autoreminders on things that you think you'll remember (like taxes?) because you won't.
6. Become familiar with websites like diapers.com for autodelivery of items. This has been a life saver.
posted by Toddles at 6:40 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you like baths, and you don't feel too unwieldy, take baths. I still cook, I still get to shop now and then, I still get a shower every day, but the pure indulgence of a long bath is something I feel I need to negotiate (we have an infant and a preschooler, so it's not trivial for one of us to go away for a while). Swimming is another one--at a pool, for a long time, you're going to be paranoid and unable to just relax into it.
Nthing go to the movies. Definitely, definitely go to the movies. And while you can certainly eat out with a kid, it's not comfortable going to a nice restaurant, so do that, too, if you're into it. Eat a few very nice meals out.
Have coffee (...or decaf) out with close friends and just talk and listen without distraction. Be leisurely.
Overall, be leisurely.
Seriously, though, with one kid you'll be able to do a lot of this again in just a few very short years. Unless you then go and have a second baby just when the first one is getting civilized. Like we did. She's very cute, though.
posted by hought20 at 6:42 PM on March 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
Nthing go to the movies. Definitely, definitely go to the movies. And while you can certainly eat out with a kid, it's not comfortable going to a nice restaurant, so do that, too, if you're into it. Eat a few very nice meals out.
Have coffee (...or decaf) out with close friends and just talk and listen without distraction. Be leisurely.
Overall, be leisurely.
Seriously, though, with one kid you'll be able to do a lot of this again in just a few very short years. Unless you then go and have a second baby just when the first one is getting civilized. Like we did. She's very cute, though.
posted by hought20 at 6:42 PM on March 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
See all your friends. Have parties! You'll see them after the baby arrives, but right now you can see them whenever you want, for as long as you want, with no baby to distract you and no sitter to pay.
Get dressed up and do nice grown-up things. It'll be a while before you can wear a nice outfit without fear of getting spit-up on it.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:08 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Get dressed up and do nice grown-up things. It'll be a while before you can wear a nice outfit without fear of getting spit-up on it.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:08 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Right now, with a preschooler and a toddler, the thing I miss most from my pre kid days is doing nothing. I used to spend whole parts of weekend days just kind of staring at the wall. Now I can still do that, but someone will be climbing on me or yelling at me or otherwise demanding my attention. If I were on maternity leave with 8ish weeks to go, I would do so much of nothing.
posted by linettasky at 7:45 PM on March 2, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by linettasky at 7:45 PM on March 2, 2015 [7 favorites]
Sleep. Sleep like you have never slept before, sleep like you will never sleep again. Spend all damn day in bed.
posted by gnutron at 8:07 PM on March 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by gnutron at 8:07 PM on March 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
So much yes to sleep, movies, freeze cooking and sex. Yes, get a haircut. Yes, get a pedicure & clear polish. Yes stock up on non perishables.
Invite people over to see you.
Relax and watch crap on TV.
Keep a journal. The next little while is going to be life changing and exhausting but years from now, you'll like to have a record of this sweet time.
posted by stellathon at 2:11 AM on March 3, 2015
Invite people over to see you.
Relax and watch crap on TV.
Keep a journal. The next little while is going to be life changing and exhausting but years from now, you'll like to have a record of this sweet time.
posted by stellathon at 2:11 AM on March 3, 2015
Go to the dentist for a good cleaning. Do not ignore dental hygiene.
posted by Cuke at 5:32 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Cuke at 5:32 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Eh, sleep is overrated. It's not like you can actually bank sleep and use that after the baby is born. But yes to going out and shopping or otherwise wandering around by yourself for however long you want to. My oldest is in preschool, and we have a younger baby now too, and that is the one thing I miss most of all--feeling like I can go out and not have to account for anything. I still get to go to stores by myself, sure, but never without a strong sense of urgency, that I'm taking too long and somebody needs me.
posted by Jemstar at 8:54 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Jemstar at 8:54 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Read! Read a lot of books. Watch TV with sex and violence and coarse language.
posted by pick_the_flowers at 12:36 PM on March 3, 2015
posted by pick_the_flowers at 12:36 PM on March 3, 2015
I was thinking about this question more today. It's not the sleep that's so great, it's the lying in bed as long as you want to. My husband and I can take turns sleeping in, but lounging in bed reading or whatever is a thing of the past.
posted by apricot at 12:44 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by apricot at 12:44 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I'm 28wks pregnant with my second. What I'm focusing on is (a) freezer meals, and (b) cleaning out the closets, under the beds; basically getting rid of junk and clutter. Because once the baby comes I know I won't do those things for at least a year and the clutter will drive me batshit insane.
Take a breastfeeding class if you haven't already. Get the phone numbers of a couple of good lactation consultants, in case you run into trouble feeding you should get help early, and knowing who to call is half the battle.
Get a couple of referrals for good therapists who deal with post-partum depression. You may not need those phone numbers but, again, good to know who to call. Read up on the symptoms of PPD while you're at it.
Watch youtube videos on caring for an infant - how to change a diaper, how to swaddle, how to perform the 5 S's (from Happiest Baby on the Block). Seriously we used the 5 S's when we were in the hospital and were so glad we had recently watched those videos.
Write out your birth plan and discuss it with your doctor. Doing this early helped both me and my doctor prepare our expectations and we didn't have any freak-outs or power-struggles when things went differently than planned in the delivery room. I knew why my doctor was making the suggestions she was and I was able to go along with them smoothly. After you talk to your doc about the birth plan be sure to review what she said with your hubby. For instance, I had assumed that he would want to cut the cord and had put it in the birth plan, but he actually wanted no part of that. It was good to know early on because I would have been disappointed and frustrated if I'd found out in the moment and probably would have pushed him to do it, which would have made him equally frustrated.
My biggest wish right now is that I would have the kind of time off that you have so that I could organize the files on my computer - all of the pictures, the documents, etc. It's not too important but I have it on my to-do list in the unlikely event that I end up on bedrest.
posted by vignettist at 2:11 PM on March 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
Take a breastfeeding class if you haven't already. Get the phone numbers of a couple of good lactation consultants, in case you run into trouble feeding you should get help early, and knowing who to call is half the battle.
Get a couple of referrals for good therapists who deal with post-partum depression. You may not need those phone numbers but, again, good to know who to call. Read up on the symptoms of PPD while you're at it.
Watch youtube videos on caring for an infant - how to change a diaper, how to swaddle, how to perform the 5 S's (from Happiest Baby on the Block). Seriously we used the 5 S's when we were in the hospital and were so glad we had recently watched those videos.
Write out your birth plan and discuss it with your doctor. Doing this early helped both me and my doctor prepare our expectations and we didn't have any freak-outs or power-struggles when things went differently than planned in the delivery room. I knew why my doctor was making the suggestions she was and I was able to go along with them smoothly. After you talk to your doc about the birth plan be sure to review what she said with your hubby. For instance, I had assumed that he would want to cut the cord and had put it in the birth plan, but he actually wanted no part of that. It was good to know early on because I would have been disappointed and frustrated if I'd found out in the moment and probably would have pushed him to do it, which would have made him equally frustrated.
My biggest wish right now is that I would have the kind of time off that you have so that I could organize the files on my computer - all of the pictures, the documents, etc. It's not too important but I have it on my to-do list in the unlikely event that I end up on bedrest.
posted by vignettist at 2:11 PM on March 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Oh, get practical things done like set up direct deposit and online bill pay if you haven't already; cancel services that you aren't using (we cancelled our landline, our daily newspaper delivery and our cable in our 3rd trimester). For tv viewing we went straight to Netflix, which is still pretty much how we watch tv because we don't watch a whole lot of it.
Make a list of a few books you'd like to read that hubby can get for you at the library (or download for you); in the first few weeks with my newborn we pretty much just stayed in bed, nursed, rested, and I read a bit or watched Netflix.
Get on the email list for your local La Leche League. Go to a meeting or two if you don't know much about breastfeeding, they are a wealth of information. There won't be any judgement if you ultimately end up not breastfeeding, but in the meantime you will learn a lot and will meet moms in your area. Going to LLL Park Days were some of the first outings I went on alone with my newborn and it was a great transition for a nervous FTM.
Join some of the mommy facebook groups if you haven't already. These are great places to ask questions when you are freaking out in the middle of the night (someone is always up and reading their phone), plus you can pick up lots of baby gear that you might still need for good discounts.
Start looking at the schedule for Mommy-and-me classes in your area. Sometimes you can join a class as early as 6 weeks, I think generally people will join a class around 3-4 months. These are really just places for new moms to get together and socialize, while learning a bit about normal baby development. Its another great way to meet local moms, who you will likely be setting up park days and playdates with in the future.
But seriously - freezer meals.
posted by vignettist at 2:20 PM on March 4, 2015
Make a list of a few books you'd like to read that hubby can get for you at the library (or download for you); in the first few weeks with my newborn we pretty much just stayed in bed, nursed, rested, and I read a bit or watched Netflix.
Get on the email list for your local La Leche League. Go to a meeting or two if you don't know much about breastfeeding, they are a wealth of information. There won't be any judgement if you ultimately end up not breastfeeding, but in the meantime you will learn a lot and will meet moms in your area. Going to LLL Park Days were some of the first outings I went on alone with my newborn and it was a great transition for a nervous FTM.
Join some of the mommy facebook groups if you haven't already. These are great places to ask questions when you are freaking out in the middle of the night (someone is always up and reading their phone), plus you can pick up lots of baby gear that you might still need for good discounts.
Start looking at the schedule for Mommy-and-me classes in your area. Sometimes you can join a class as early as 6 weeks, I think generally people will join a class around 3-4 months. These are really just places for new moms to get together and socialize, while learning a bit about normal baby development. Its another great way to meet local moms, who you will likely be setting up park days and playdates with in the future.
But seriously - freezer meals.
posted by vignettist at 2:20 PM on March 4, 2015
Get your carpets cleaned if you haven't done that in a while. Because baby will be on the floor a lot in a few months' time.
posted by vignettist at 2:43 PM on March 4, 2015
posted by vignettist at 2:43 PM on March 4, 2015
Best answer: I started to link-grab this thread... to send to you.
I'd take a lil time to make sure all camera gear is up to snuff, you'll want to be ready to document the magic.
Celphone camera is probably what you'll be most likely to use to take baby pics and videos since it's one-handed and usually nearby, so maybe upgrade if that's practical.
If you have a fancier camera, it might be good to grab a new memory card or two, as you may not have a ton of time to dump photos but you'll probably want to keep taking lots.
And maybe clear hard drive space on your computer or pick up an external drive for photos.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:08 PM on March 4, 2015
I'd take a lil time to make sure all camera gear is up to snuff, you'll want to be ready to document the magic.
Celphone camera is probably what you'll be most likely to use to take baby pics and videos since it's one-handed and usually nearby, so maybe upgrade if that's practical.
If you have a fancier camera, it might be good to grab a new memory card or two, as you may not have a ton of time to dump photos but you'll probably want to keep taking lots.
And maybe clear hard drive space on your computer or pick up an external drive for photos.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:08 PM on March 4, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by sestaaak at 5:23 PM on March 2, 2015 [20 favorites]