Help me get my first office-friendly haircut, please?
October 17, 2014 6:57 AM Subscribe
I am in need of a low-maintenance, yet chich mid-length haircut. Any ideas are greatly appreciated.
I like my hair long enough to at least put it into a ponytail, although I rarely ever do because I have so many short curly little hairs at the sides of my head that stick out. My hair is very light-weight and gets frizzy easily. It's also not very voluminous unless I blow-dry it upside down, which means when I want to wear it open, I usually have to wash it in the morning. I won't have time for that once I start working, and I also don't want to wake up roommates/boyfriend by making too much noise. I cannot wash my hair at night because it will look awful when I sleep in it, especially if it's still a bit wet when I go to bed.
Right now, it goes down to a bit above my breasts, and I want to get a trim, but I am also considering having more cut off. Right now, I am considering the cuts that come up when you google "mid length hair cut". But I don't know how high-maintenance they are.
This is a picture of me and my hair (well, there are no pictures of me without my hair...), so if anyone has any ideas, I'd greatly appreciate them. I didn't do much to it that day because I was on vacation, and it became that weird mix of not quite straight but also not really curly. I work with lots of Japanese women who have beautiful straight and undamaged-looking hair, and I feel self-conscious. I haven't used heat on my hair in months and I usually don't dye it and only wash with a mild shampoo (though that every day or every second day) and use a leave-in conditioner, but... :(
I like my hair long enough to at least put it into a ponytail, although I rarely ever do because I have so many short curly little hairs at the sides of my head that stick out. My hair is very light-weight and gets frizzy easily. It's also not very voluminous unless I blow-dry it upside down, which means when I want to wear it open, I usually have to wash it in the morning. I won't have time for that once I start working, and I also don't want to wake up roommates/boyfriend by making too much noise. I cannot wash my hair at night because it will look awful when I sleep in it, especially if it's still a bit wet when I go to bed.
Right now, it goes down to a bit above my breasts, and I want to get a trim, but I am also considering having more cut off. Right now, I am considering the cuts that come up when you google "mid length hair cut". But I don't know how high-maintenance they are.
This is a picture of me and my hair (well, there are no pictures of me without my hair...), so if anyone has any ideas, I'd greatly appreciate them. I didn't do much to it that day because I was on vacation, and it became that weird mix of not quite straight but also not really curly. I work with lots of Japanese women who have beautiful straight and undamaged-looking hair, and I feel self-conscious. I haven't used heat on my hair in months and I usually don't dye it and only wash with a mild shampoo (though that every day or every second day) and use a leave-in conditioner, but... :(
I agree with hollyholly. Embrace the wavyness. Get a cut with a bit of layering and use a product for wavy/curly hair like the Aveda Be Curly line.
posted by BibiRose at 7:25 AM on October 17, 2014
posted by BibiRose at 7:25 AM on October 17, 2014
Response by poster: Sorry for being unclear! I don't mind wavy/curly hair, but I mind the "my hair just isn't as straight as yours" half-assed frizzy curls I get.
And I just like my hair freshly washed...
posted by LoonyLovegood at 7:26 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
And I just like my hair freshly washed...
posted by LoonyLovegood at 7:26 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Hi, we're hair twins!
First off, I think your hair looks fine in that pic, totally appropriate for the office. I think a shoulder-length cut with soft layers would work well for you - it'll be long enough that you can put it in a ponytail, but short enough to be manageable when it's down. The key though is to make sure you get it cut by someone who actually knows what to do with curly/wavy hair, otherwise you end up with mullet-y layers.
Other things:
- Try going without shampoo, and simply washing your hair with conditioner. I've been doing this for years and it makes a huge difference. If you google "no poo" you'll find a lot of resources on the best conditioners for this purpose - I actually use Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine (recommended by one of these sites) and it works really well, and is very cheap. I "wash" my hair with it 2-3 times/week.
- I used to never wash my hair at night for the same reasons, but then I figured out that I can if I'm strategic about it: while it's still wet, I use a styling product for curly hair on it, then wrap it up into a bun while it's still damp, and sleep on it like that. In the morning, it's pretty manageable.
I think the big thing is that unless you're willing to style it every morning or do one of those weirdo keratin treatments, you gotta just accept that you have wavy/curly hair and make it work.
posted by lunasol at 7:28 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
First off, I think your hair looks fine in that pic, totally appropriate for the office. I think a shoulder-length cut with soft layers would work well for you - it'll be long enough that you can put it in a ponytail, but short enough to be manageable when it's down. The key though is to make sure you get it cut by someone who actually knows what to do with curly/wavy hair, otherwise you end up with mullet-y layers.
Other things:
- Try going without shampoo, and simply washing your hair with conditioner. I've been doing this for years and it makes a huge difference. If you google "no poo" you'll find a lot of resources on the best conditioners for this purpose - I actually use Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine (recommended by one of these sites) and it works really well, and is very cheap. I "wash" my hair with it 2-3 times/week.
- I used to never wash my hair at night for the same reasons, but then I figured out that I can if I'm strategic about it: while it's still wet, I use a styling product for curly hair on it, then wrap it up into a bun while it's still damp, and sleep on it like that. In the morning, it's pretty manageable.
I think the big thing is that unless you're willing to style it every morning or do one of those weirdo keratin treatments, you gotta just accept that you have wavy/curly hair and make it work.
posted by lunasol at 7:28 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I just did a google search for "wavy lob" and this style stood out to me as something that I think would look great on you, especially with your hair texture.
When you find a photo of a style that you want, take it to a salon and discuss your hair care routine with your stylist. Since it sounds like you rarely heat style your hair, definitely mention that so that they can take it into account when they cut it.
Your hair colour is fantastic, by the way.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 7:40 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
When you find a photo of a style that you want, take it to a salon and discuss your hair care routine with your stylist. Since it sounds like you rarely heat style your hair, definitely mention that so that they can take it into account when they cut it.
Your hair colour is fantastic, by the way.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 7:40 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: A few ideas here, as I have similar hair issues to yours:
I'm not sure a haircut is necessary unless you have scraggly ends or just want less length.
If frizziness is the issue, sometimes the application of a bit of heat actually helps. Maybe try to enhance your natural curl with a dab of curl-enhancing/smoothing pomade, and use a diffuser to blow dry and help keep the curls from frizzing? Using a curling iron might be useful too, if you don't mind spending the time.
You could also try the Curly Girl method, which might also help give you more defined / less frizzy waves and curls.
I think your hair is really pretty!
posted by ladybird at 7:45 AM on October 17, 2014
I'm not sure a haircut is necessary unless you have scraggly ends or just want less length.
If frizziness is the issue, sometimes the application of a bit of heat actually helps. Maybe try to enhance your natural curl with a dab of curl-enhancing/smoothing pomade, and use a diffuser to blow dry and help keep the curls from frizzing? Using a curling iron might be useful too, if you don't mind spending the time.
You could also try the Curly Girl method, which might also help give you more defined / less frizzy waves and curls.
I think your hair is really pretty!
posted by ladybird at 7:45 AM on October 17, 2014
I recommend a layered chin length cut(Kinddieserit's photo is great) while using the Kinky Curly products; mainly their leave-in condition as well as a dab of "gel" possibly from their line for holding power.
I have curly hair as well, and I know full well that you'll need something to counteract the humidity that transforms curls into frizz. I also recommend using the blow dryer less often--let it dry naturally after work in the evening.
Also, if you opt to cut your washing routine down to maybe 3 times a week you'll notice reduced frizz and fly aways. Wavy and curly hair of any grade and weight typically does not need to be washed as often as straight hair, especially as we begin to enter the more arid and cold time of year.
posted by bibliophilia at 7:56 AM on October 17, 2014
I have curly hair as well, and I know full well that you'll need something to counteract the humidity that transforms curls into frizz. I also recommend using the blow dryer less often--let it dry naturally after work in the evening.
Also, if you opt to cut your washing routine down to maybe 3 times a week you'll notice reduced frizz and fly aways. Wavy and curly hair of any grade and weight typically does not need to be washed as often as straight hair, especially as we begin to enter the more arid and cold time of year.
posted by bibliophilia at 7:56 AM on October 17, 2014
Response by poster: I hate to threadsit, but I would like to repeat:
- has to be still long enough to put into at least a pony tail
- preferably no blow-drying in the morning
- my scalp tends to get oily (even when I wash very gently and only a few times a week - I know about no 'poo and that drying it out too much just causes it to become even oilier) and I like my hair freshly washed, so I don't think I'll be cutting back on washing to less than every second day
posted by LoonyLovegood at 8:00 AM on October 17, 2014
- has to be still long enough to put into at least a pony tail
- preferably no blow-drying in the morning
- my scalp tends to get oily (even when I wash very gently and only a few times a week - I know about no 'poo and that drying it out too much just causes it to become even oilier) and I like my hair freshly washed, so I don't think I'll be cutting back on washing to less than every second day
posted by LoonyLovegood at 8:00 AM on October 17, 2014
Best answer: I hear you on the "no no-poo" thing. I have fine thin hair and have tried the no-washing thing for months, and it's just horrible, no matter what method I try. I have to wash it at least every other day too.
What change my hair-having life was product. Go to a good, expensive, highly-reviewed salon (just the once!), get a stylist who understands wavy hair, get a good cut, and ask for product recommendations and a styling lesson in how to use them. I now use a light gloss serum to control frizzy end pieces, and a super fine mist hair spray to keep things in place.
posted by erst at 8:10 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
What change my hair-having life was product. Go to a good, expensive, highly-reviewed salon (just the once!), get a stylist who understands wavy hair, get a good cut, and ask for product recommendations and a styling lesson in how to use them. I now use a light gloss serum to control frizzy end pieces, and a super fine mist hair spray to keep things in place.
posted by erst at 8:10 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
I have similar hair. I wash every other day and use very little product. When I wash my hair at night, I spray in leave in conditioner and put it in a bun on the top of my head. When I wake up, I either let it airdry or blow it dry but it takes very little time.
I would caution against going shorter -- mid-length hair takes at least twice of the styling time for me, as it looks like poop if I airdry it.
posted by hrj at 8:12 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
I would caution against going shorter -- mid-length hair takes at least twice of the styling time for me, as it looks like poop if I airdry it.
posted by hrj at 8:12 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
One thing that makes longer hair "office-friendly" is learning ways to make a simple hairstyle look clean.
Simple ponytails are perfectly fine; you might want to also look into easy twists and buns for variety, and/or ornamental barrettes rather than a simple rubber band.
Loose hair is perfectly fine, but hair that falls into your face/eyes is less so; the "long bangs" look can be distracting for yourself and others. Consider headbands, decorative clips/combs and ways to pull the sides/front of your hair back. Similarly, you might want to use this kind of hardware if pieces keep falling out of your ponytail. As previously discussed, it can be tough to make clips look professional rather than girlish, but one thing that I think helps is rolling/twisting the pieces of hair before clipping them, and I personally think that clips are often more professional than wildly loose hair (but it may depend on what kind of work you're dressing for.)
posted by aimedwander at 8:47 AM on October 17, 2014
Simple ponytails are perfectly fine; you might want to also look into easy twists and buns for variety, and/or ornamental barrettes rather than a simple rubber band.
Loose hair is perfectly fine, but hair that falls into your face/eyes is less so; the "long bangs" look can be distracting for yourself and others. Consider headbands, decorative clips/combs and ways to pull the sides/front of your hair back. Similarly, you might want to use this kind of hardware if pieces keep falling out of your ponytail. As previously discussed, it can be tough to make clips look professional rather than girlish, but one thing that I think helps is rolling/twisting the pieces of hair before clipping them, and I personally think that clips are often more professional than wildly loose hair (but it may depend on what kind of work you're dressing for.)
posted by aimedwander at 8:47 AM on October 17, 2014
My hair is also in between curly and straight, and it tends to frizz. I use John Frieda Frizz Ease Dream Curls conditioner. This same product (same consistency, fragrance, and effects) has been renamed a few times and marketed for different specific hair types; I guess now they're aiming it at curly girls instead of all hair that frizzes. It's thick and very slippery, and it makes a very noticeable difference for me. I apply it to the hair below my ears, and then just run my hands over the scalp-level hair. I towel-dry and usually let it dry naturally. When I do blow-dry it, it's super-smooth.
Another product type you might like is curl enhancer, if you want to go from "not straight enough" to "nice and wavy." You apply it to damp hair and then scrunch from time to time as it dries. I usually just let my hair air-dry; with a blow-dryer, you'd need to use a diffuser and scrunch as it dries.
posted by wryly at 8:58 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
Another product type you might like is curl enhancer, if you want to go from "not straight enough" to "nice and wavy." You apply it to damp hair and then scrunch from time to time as it dries. I usually just let my hair air-dry; with a blow-dryer, you'd need to use a diffuser and scrunch as it dries.
posted by wryly at 8:58 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
This (instagram link, not sure it will work if you're not an instagram user?) has been the general gist of my hair for... well I was going to say most of my working life, but, now that I think about it, pretty much most of my life in general.
Ignoring the fact that it's green in that photo, yeah, super easy attractive low maintenance hair that requires basically nothing and is presentable for work. The length varies from about that photo (just a few weeks after a trim) to about collarbone length, which you can also see in some other photos in my instagram feed. It's long enough to put up for the gym, but short enough that blow drying doesn't feel like a chore.
The best thing about this cut is that it looks equally good with a bit of natural wave vs. blown out stick straight. That said, my hair is not really curly at all.
posted by Sara C. at 10:09 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
Ignoring the fact that it's green in that photo, yeah, super easy attractive low maintenance hair that requires basically nothing and is presentable for work. The length varies from about that photo (just a few weeks after a trim) to about collarbone length, which you can also see in some other photos in my instagram feed. It's long enough to put up for the gym, but short enough that blow drying doesn't feel like a chore.
The best thing about this cut is that it looks equally good with a bit of natural wave vs. blown out stick straight. That said, my hair is not really curly at all.
posted by Sara C. at 10:09 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
I have similar hair. An inverted, shoulder length bob requires little styling and is versatile. Things that have helped me are:
- being very firm with the stylist that I DO NOT blow dry or style my hair and do not want a style that requires such
- also asking the stylist to not use thinning shears as it makes fine hair too wispy
- Product! Carol's Daughter "Sacred Tiare" leave in conditioner (http://www.target.com/p/sacred-tiare-anti-breakage-anti-frizz-leave-in-conditioner-12-fl-oz-target-exclusive/-/A-15041867) is the only thing I've found that reduces the dreaded frizz halo around my otherwise straight/slightly wavy hair. Spritz it into wet hair and let air dry. Happy, smooth hair.
posted by AliceBlue at 11:24 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
- being very firm with the stylist that I DO NOT blow dry or style my hair and do not want a style that requires such
- also asking the stylist to not use thinning shears as it makes fine hair too wispy
- Product! Carol's Daughter "Sacred Tiare" leave in conditioner (http://www.target.com/p/sacred-tiare-anti-breakage-anti-frizz-leave-in-conditioner-12-fl-oz-target-exclusive/-/A-15041867) is the only thing I've found that reduces the dreaded frizz halo around my otherwise straight/slightly wavy hair. Spritz it into wet hair and let air dry. Happy, smooth hair.
posted by AliceBlue at 11:24 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Is it mostly frizz management, then? It's hard to make it straighter without heat styling, but you can encourage the wave and minimize the frizz. I am doing this lately: wash (I wash every other day, no poo just makes it look ratty in my case), condition with a heavy moisturizing conditioner.
Then, I towel dry. Then, I blow dry just at the roots for volume (and I blow dry my bangs into shape, to stop the madness). It's all still damp. Then, I run either 1) a bit of warmed up coconut oil 2) a creme like L’Oreal's Re-Nutrition Nourishing Cream Care all through it.
THEN I take sections of hair and twist them to the ends. I run a bit of jojoba oil over that, for shine. THEN I top that (the twists are intact but not secured with anything) with a bit of gel (this is the frizz controlling secret) and let it dry as is. End result = consistent waves with minimal frizz.
It's not that hard, takes about 5-8 minutes after showering.
posted by cotton dress sock at 1:37 PM on October 17, 2014
Then, I towel dry. Then, I blow dry just at the roots for volume (and I blow dry my bangs into shape, to stop the madness). It's all still damp. Then, I run either 1) a bit of warmed up coconut oil 2) a creme like L’Oreal's Re-Nutrition Nourishing Cream Care all through it.
THEN I take sections of hair and twist them to the ends. I run a bit of jojoba oil over that, for shine. THEN I top that (the twists are intact but not secured with anything) with a bit of gel (this is the frizz controlling secret) and let it dry as is. End result = consistent waves with minimal frizz.
It's not that hard, takes about 5-8 minutes after showering.
posted by cotton dress sock at 1:37 PM on October 17, 2014
Before you cut it, I would suggest you find out if you actually have curly hair you've just been dealing with incorrectly your whole life. This is really common with your hair type :(
In a previous Hair for Grownups thread, I shared these directions for How To Deal With Curly Hair. The OP then discovered that she did, in fact, have curly hair.
I am not trying to display my own helpfulness here; I actually have a point. And the point is this:
If you have curly hair and you cut it significantly without knowing that, you can easily, painfully end up with a haircut that, freed from weight, now spontaneously curls in whack-a-doodle ways and leaves you with a style nothing at all like you thought you were getting. Know before you go!
posted by DarlingBri at 11:36 PM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
In a previous Hair for Grownups thread, I shared these directions for How To Deal With Curly Hair. The OP then discovered that she did, in fact, have curly hair.
I am not trying to display my own helpfulness here; I actually have a point. And the point is this:
If you have curly hair and you cut it significantly without knowing that, you can easily, painfully end up with a haircut that, freed from weight, now spontaneously curls in whack-a-doodle ways and leaves you with a style nothing at all like you thought you were getting. Know before you go!
posted by DarlingBri at 11:36 PM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Last update, I promise! I had shorter hair before and it didn't curl much. It's usually only once it gets past a certain length.
Short hair picture
posted by LoonyLovegood at 5:03 AM on October 18, 2014
Short hair picture
posted by LoonyLovegood at 5:03 AM on October 18, 2014
You asked if a mid-length cut would be more high maintenance than a longer style. Well, the answer to that is yes? Maybe? Sort of?
We basically have the same hair type, though the wave pattern in my hair is much weaker. There's a lot of advice in this thread about embracing your hair texture and just letting it go natural, which is right and on point, but the thing about letting your hair do as it pleases is the results can be kind of unpredictable, and sometimes you just want to look put together.
I also don't like blow drying my hair in the morning - heck, I don't even own a hair dryer. What I do is I go to bed with my hair wet (I usually put a bit of mousse or heat protection serum in after I've towel dried but before I go to bed). I swear by a hot roller set in the morning. Hot rollers are basically idiot-proof if you want a 'blown out' look with a bit of bounce in the ends. Buy the biggest rollers you can find, and have a play around with them on the weekend when you don't need to be in the office. I use the u-shaped pins rather than claw clips, as I find the claw clips leave dents, and put them in the second I wake up and leave them to cool as I put on my makeup and talk to the cat and drink coffee and whatever.
Lately I've also been flat ironing my hair in the morning every now and then -which really doesn't take that much time, as the good thing about mildly wavy fine hair is it holds a style like whoa. It doesn't take long and I like how my hair looks.
posted by nerdfish at 5:39 AM on October 23, 2014
We basically have the same hair type, though the wave pattern in my hair is much weaker. There's a lot of advice in this thread about embracing your hair texture and just letting it go natural, which is right and on point, but the thing about letting your hair do as it pleases is the results can be kind of unpredictable, and sometimes you just want to look put together.
I also don't like blow drying my hair in the morning - heck, I don't even own a hair dryer. What I do is I go to bed with my hair wet (I usually put a bit of mousse or heat protection serum in after I've towel dried but before I go to bed). I swear by a hot roller set in the morning. Hot rollers are basically idiot-proof if you want a 'blown out' look with a bit of bounce in the ends. Buy the biggest rollers you can find, and have a play around with them on the weekend when you don't need to be in the office. I use the u-shaped pins rather than claw clips, as I find the claw clips leave dents, and put them in the second I wake up and leave them to cool as I put on my makeup and talk to the cat and drink coffee and whatever.
Lately I've also been flat ironing my hair in the morning every now and then -which really doesn't take that much time, as the good thing about mildly wavy fine hair is it holds a style like whoa. It doesn't take long and I like how my hair looks.
posted by nerdfish at 5:39 AM on October 23, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
In any case, I don't think that a minimal-care regimen with hair that wants to be a bit wavy is going to result in stick-straight hair. You don't look like your coworkers, and that's fine! Go with it! Pick a cute mid-length wavy hairstyle! Don't wash it too much, get a good brush, and have frequent trims. Maybe something like this?
posted by hollyholly at 7:14 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]