on the straight and narrow (hair)

July 11, 2005 7:32 AM

Will straightening my hair advance my career? How should I go about it?

I've noticed that there are virtually no professional women in my field with curly hair. The exception seems to be women over 40 with above-the-ear cuts. I'm in my 20s & have Alfred E. Neuman ears, so this is absolutely not an option for me.

I've also noticed that lots of women's magazines talk about hair straightening. Usually I try to avoid the "you should hate yourself and spend money on this product" advice, but it's hard to resist. Recently, I came across a career advice chat where people were even talking about hair straitening.

My inner neurotic has me wondering: If every other professional woman with curly hair has it straightened, are they going to look down on me as less professional for leaving it alone? Should I start wearing it straight?

And if I do opt to start straightening my hair, what's the best way to do it?

I'm used to spending 30 seconds to brush my hair and run some anti-frizzing goo through it before leaving it to dry on its own. Blow-drying my hair straight takes 20-30 minutes out of my life that I'll never get back. That's close to two hours every week, and doesn't seem like an acceptable solution. Should I try one of those flat sided crimpers? Are there straight-hair perms, and do they work even on dyed hair?

posted by croutonsupafreak to clothing, beauty, & fashion (34 comments total)

I am in my 20s, have curly hair, and have found it to have no negative effect on my career.

Actually, it has a positive effect -- people remember me, pick me out of a crowd, and think that I am fun.

I guess wavy hair might be worth straightening, but curly? No way!
posted by k8t at 7:39 AM on July 11, 2005

Will straightening my hair advance my career?

Only if you're black.

Seriously, no, please, find something else to get hung up on.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:41 AM on July 11, 2005

Yes, but I don't want people to think that I am fun. I want them to think that I am intelligent, trustworthy, mature and intelligent.

I don't want to be hung up on this stuff, but after five years in the work force people have been correcting about for stuff I never thought or cared about before.

I have only recently learned that people judge me for not keeping my fingernails evenly rounded and trimmed -- and here I thought clean and short was good enough -- and that my square-toed shoes are too "fun," and I need to get some pumps to look professional.

I'm pretty sure that most men don't care about this stuff at all. Probably most women don't either. But enough do that I feel like I need to know about it. Can you point out any professionally successful women at the top of their games with curly hair? Marsha Clark did for a while, but she straightened it not long after she found herself in the national limelight.

I'm white. Should've mentioned that.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 7:48 AM on July 11, 2005

What the heck kind of business are you in that you need to worry about this stuff?

Is anyone else shocked by this question?
posted by agregoli at 7:50 AM on July 11, 2005

You can count me in as shocked. I know I'm not the norm, but I wear jeans to work and sometimes wear my hair in a ponytail, and I've never had a problem being taken seriously. I think your workplace needs to lighten up.
posted by geeky at 7:54 AM on July 11, 2005

Don't wear your curly hair stringly and crazy... wear it nice and neat and it shouldn't be a problem.

At my company some of the most successful women have curly hair.

Certainly as I've gotten older I'm wearing it shorter, but straightening? No way.
posted by k8t at 7:56 AM on July 11, 2005

What the heck kind of business are you in that you need to worry about this stuff?

Presumably any business where there's competition and you're not already entrenched as a really successful person.

Seriously, now you have me thinking. I'm white and have wavy hair. I recently cut it to just below the ears from below-shoulder length because I noticed that it's mostly younger people have long hair, and I look too young as it is.
posted by dagnyscott at 7:57 AM on July 11, 2005

You should check out naturallycurly.com and see what kind of styles and information is there.

Also, why not get a chic sassy haircut? It'll make people notice you.
posted by k8t at 7:59 AM on July 11, 2005

I'm also surprised by the question. This isn't to say that I think that the straight/curly hair question doesn't have any meaning, but that I would consider other things, like getting to work on time, doing your work efficiently, suggestiong improvements to business processes, being friendly, etc. would count far more towards your success than how your hair looks.
posted by odinsdream at 8:06 AM on July 11, 2005

Yes, but I don't want people to think that I am fun. I want them to think that I am intelligent, trustworthy, mature and intelligent.

And nothing about your hair is going to make people think these things. Simply being trustworthy, intelligent, mature and intelligent (twice?) is sufficient. People that don't understand this aren't worth impressing.
posted by odinsdream at 8:08 AM on July 11, 2005

I have only recently learned that people judge me for not keeping my fingernails evenly rounded and trimmed -- and here I thought clean and short was good enough -- and that my square-toed shoes are too "fun," and I need to get some pumps to look professional.

Good Christ. Find another job, ASAP. You shouldn't have to deal with this stuff.
posted by languagehat at 8:10 AM on July 11, 2005

My friend (Caucasian) had her hair "thermed" which apparently is a kind of "thermal" straight-hair perm. I did a google search on "thermal hair straightening" and came up with this article from the Cosmetics Cop as well as many other results. CC seems to confirm my friend's insinuation that it is very expensive (according to her, there are only 2 people in Seattle who do it).

Unfortunately I am a computer programmer and wear t-shirt and jeans to work so I can't help you on the other question.
posted by matildaben at 8:11 AM on July 11, 2005

I can't speak to the career part of the question, but I can speak to the issue of straightening curly hair.

I have learned to love the curl -- but before I did, I had my hair straightened. The first time I had a chemical relaxer done, the hairdresser used Rusk Anti-Curl (this link actually describes how a woman did it herself rather than at a salon). It was great -- I could go outside on the most humid day and not have my hair immediately puff up into a huge frizz. It lasted for about 6 months. Then my hairdresser switched to something called Boucle, which was even better, but they stopped making it. I was tempted to try what's billed here as the "Japanese" hair straightening treatment, but it's very expensive.

I enjoyed my straight, non-frizzy hair when I had it that way, and I invested in a straight-iron (which I found online for about $70) that made it very easy to get my hair super-straight even after the stuff wore off.

Now, however, I like the curl. What I usually do is put some kind of anti-frizz creme in my hair after I get out of the shower, then I braid it in just one braid in the back. I let it dry that way (usually overnight), and then when I take it out, I have what a friend calls "mermaid" curls -- controlled, cascading, and not frizzy. When I want it to be straight, I just use the straight-iron, but for now I'm workin' the curl.
posted by youarejustalittleant at 8:11 AM on July 11, 2005

I have curly hair and I hate spending time blow drying. My hair is thick so it takes forever. I just got the post-wedding hair chop, though, and that makes the time less. It also seems like my hair gets "trained" - if I blow dry it once a week or so, it seems to dry straighter.

Bumble & Bumble Straight - or any other product like it, I think it contains silicone? - works wonders with getting hair straight if you blow dry it ALL THE WAY.

But really, just be neat. That became much easier for me when I got my hair colored. It seems to have eased the texture a bit.

(I haven't noticed whether people around here with curly or straight hair go further, but definitely its important to be neat about it).
posted by dpx.mfx at 8:13 AM on July 11, 2005

I think you should make your hair look as good as it can the way you like it. If you like it curly, keep it curly. As long as it isn't one of those insane unprofessional mops, it shouldn't have any effect on your career. (Assuming you don't work at one of those hideous appearance-obsessed clique factories like Conde Nast.)

That said, I've been DYING for someone to ask about hair straightening because I finally found the Holy Grail. I have frizzy/wavy hair and naturally wish it were straight and glossy. (My friends with straight hair all want curls. Go figure.)

Anyway, I spent years blow drying and covering it with goop and so on and nothing ever really worked. I was going to plunge for the Japanese hair straightening but then I found the Chi hair iron. It's a ridiculously expensive gizmo (you can find them on ebay for about 100 clams, which is still less than you would pay normally) but it works! I had a drugstore iron for a while but it didn't work at all. I couldn't believe a more expensive one would make a difference, but it does. Oh boy, does it. It takes no time at all, and produces gorgeous straight shiny hair that feels soft and healthy, despite the fact that I must be frying it. I cannot recommend this thing highly enough.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:13 AM on July 11, 2005

Controlled curls should not hold you back. This book has changed many a curly life.

Remember though that hair alone does not an image make. If you want to wear your hair curly, go out of your way in other areas to project a clean and mature image.
posted by wallaby at 8:26 AM on July 11, 2005

I think a lot of it may depend on your overall looks. I have curly hair, which I wear long because I can't be bothered to style it. I also have a young face. The combination of these two factors means I am often treated as being a good 15-20 years younger than I actually am. Whenever I'm in a situation where I want to be taken very seriously, the first thing I do is put my hair up. Fortunately, I'm not very career-oriented, so these moments are few and far between.

Anyway, my point is that, if (and only if) you want to exude oodles of career power, and you feel that you hair detracts from that look, then yes, perhaps you should do something about it. You might want to enlist the aid of friends to tell you what kind of professional image your hair and face and clothes project, and make changes accordingly, if that's what you want. Again, it's the overall look we're talking about here, not just hair or just fingernails or whatever.

Oh, and there are straight hair perms, yes -- you can get kits in the drugstore. They never would work on my hair.
posted by JanetLand at 8:27 AM on July 11, 2005

I have curly hair, always have. I have of course gone through those periods of wishing I had straight hair, and even thinking that it would be less hassle because then I could put in a cute chignon or a low ponytail. All things that currently make my hair look even more unkempt. And I do think that all sorts of things about our appearance make a difference whether we like it or not (see article here about the cost of being less attractive, or the one here about being overweight and a woman.) That said, I do not think that curly hair is one of those things. Perhaps looking "too ethnic" in certain professions might be something that is discriminated against, but I don't think that it's just curly hair.

A bit of a tangent, but I also love the products and philosophy of DevaCurl.
posted by picklebird at 8:33 AM on July 11, 2005

I'm sorry if this is an outrageous or silly question. I swear I never thought about any of this stuff before I came across this thread, where I learned that it's not even OK for women to wear a colored shirt under a business suit in certain situations. None of this stuff comes naturally, and it seems like I'm constantly finding out that I've committed faux pas I didn't even know about until after the fact.

My office is extremely laid back, and I can wear blue jeans to work on days where I plan to just sit at my desk and not interact with non-coworkers. There are other times, however, where doing my job well depends on my ability to come across as professional in one-on-one conversations with CEOs, bankers and other professinals which means I want to be as put together as an uptight person on a job interview.

I'm really good at my job and I love it. I'm not going to quit because I have to put up with silly stuff in addition to the parts I enjoy.

Thanks for naturallycurley.com, k8t. I may print out some of those pics next time I go to get a haircut. I think I'll also look into some of those straightening irons folks have mentioned. Thank you.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 8:34 AM on July 11, 2005

I do think that there is a weird prejudice against curly hair as being somehow more unprofessional, but mostly I suspect that what it really is is unfashionable right now, when you're nobody if you're not Chi'ed to death.

But, if curls are what suits you, and you're willing to get very frequent trims and keep a hairstyle that is professional and also suits you, I think it's a great way to stand out without getting looked down on.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:51 AM on July 11, 2005

My hair is not curly, but is quite long, and I refuse to cut it. I go with the "keep it as you like, but be prepared to put it up to look professional" attitude. Don't fry your hair for your job or vanity. . . Trust me, you will regret it.
posted by Medieval Maven at 9:12 AM on July 11, 2005

"I've noticed that there are virtually no professional women in my field with curly hair."

So you've got something they don't, right? We all want to stand out.
posted by JPowers at 9:23 AM on July 11, 2005

Where do you live? Maybe it's a regional thing to look down on people with curly hair? I live and work in LA, California at a large company with many women executives. Several have curly hair.

One thing to consider is your attitude and the way you carry yourself.

Of course, I don't know you or anything, so please don't take this personally, but I've found that there are some people at the office that I just can't take seriously. Not because they're goofy, but, well, I can't really figure it out. Some people have insecurities that show, or you can tell that they're in over their head in any situation. There are some people that just demand to be taken seriously, and there are others that can't pull it off.

I'm a guy, so maybe my advice is just plain incompatible with your womanly world, but I think our own appearance, and our perception of it can really make a big difference in our attitude. Like if I'm not pleased with what my screwed up hair is doing one day and/or if I'm wearing "backup" clothes that isn't being washed that day, it affects my attitude, no matter what I try to think.

Maybe you just need to really embrace your hair, to find a look that you really feel confident in and let that confidence show. I'm not sure that straightening it is really the answer.
posted by redteam at 9:51 AM on July 11, 2005

Please don't conform to the norm - it's good to be different (so I keep telling my mother)!

True that straight hair is particularly fashionable at the moment - but you'll be ruining the condition of your hair and spending a fortune on products. It sounds like your company needs to treat you as an individual rather than a sheep by being judged on your nails and shoes - jees! But then that's just my opinion.
posted by floanna at 10:20 AM on July 11, 2005

Is anyone else shocked by this question?

I'm depressed by this question.
Curly isn't really in style right now, so I'd guess that it isn't that straight haired women become more successful, but just that more successful women have the money & interest to be fashionable, and the fashion at the moment is generally straight.

But geez, choose the style you like, and carry yourself with confidence. Convince others of your professional qualities by exhibiting those qualities / etc (or, what odinsdream said), not by mimicking superficialities of those you think have it figured out.
posted by mdn at 10:30 AM on July 11, 2005

I'll second those who recommended naturallycurly.com and the book Curly Girl. They definitely opened my eyes on how to treat my hair!

From your description, it really sounds like you're mistreating your curly/wavy hair and maybe it just doesn't look its best. When curls are taken care of, they can look both professional and glamorous and will make you stand out in a good way.

You shouldn't be using a brush on your hair. When you condition, you can run your fingers through it breaking up the knots and the curls will start forming.

I'd recommend getting the Try-It-All pack with Jessicurl. Her products (especially in the Island Fantasy scent) are heavenly! A lot of curly hair enthusiasts don't recommend shampooing and for some reason, people can't get it out of their head that shampoo actually hurts curly hair, so they'll reject the whole regime because of it. Jessicurl offers a "hair cleansing cream" which takes the place of shampoo and doesn't strip your hair of the oils they need to look their best.

Here's my daily routine - I've been doing this since February and my curls have gotten SO much better in that time.

1) Wash my hair with Jessicurl Hair Cleansing Cream
2) Condition my hair with Too Shea! Extra Moisturizing Conditioner, using the conditioning method described in Curly Girl.
3) Once out of the shower, I mix about a quarter sized blob of Rockin' Ringlets with a tiny squirt of confident coils and scrunch it into my hair.
4) Towel dry my hair by scrunching it with a microfiber towel.
5) Scrunch another mixture of ringlets/coils into my hair
6) Use about a dime sized blob of confident coils along and scrunch that through my hair.
7) Let my hair air dry for 45-60 minutes and then blow dry it the rest of the way. If I blow dry it from the beginning, it gets frizzy. If I let it air dry completely, it gets flat.

Every curly haired head is different though, so I'd highly recommend finding the right routine for you to take care of your curls!
posted by lynda at 10:33 AM on July 11, 2005

I agree with the people who say it's all about how you wear your hair. If it's trim and neat with well-defined curls you'll look just as professional as anyone with straight hair. You could go the thermal reconditioning ("Japanese straightening") route, but it's expensive and has to be done every 6 months or so. I had it done to my wavy hair for a while, but in the end it made my hair too flat, so I stopped.

I don't think it's silly to be worried about stuff like this (then again, I used to live in New York, where everyone's trying to out-cool everyone else), but I think the important thing isn't curly vs. straight it's "taken care of" vs. not. If you look like you spend money and time on your hair you'll automatically be seen as more professional than someone who doesn't. (Note: this is for businesses where public appearance is a part of the job, where you have to go out and meet customers, not meant to say that all professional women have to spend a lot of time on their looks.)
posted by MsMolly at 10:57 AM on July 11, 2005

I don't know anything about curly hair or its effect on advancement in the workplace, but I just want to say that I don't think you're crazy for asking and I am certainly not surprised by the question. Discrimination based on physical appearance happens in all areas of life to men and women alike. Why would the workplace be any different?

On preview, I agree with MsMolly that it's not silly to be worried about stuff like this.
posted by Crushinator at 11:20 AM on July 11, 2005

Do you "want them to think that [you are] intelligent, trustworthy, mature and intelligent," or do you want them to KNOW that you are? If you work in a company where you're "judged" by your fingernails and your hair, find a new place to work. It doesn't matter what you do, someone will dislike it in that sort of environment.

I doubt a hairstyle is enough to stop someone from being unsuccessful. In fact, I'm sure it's not.

Changing your hair only changes first impressions. I have curly hair and it has not affected my career. I've worn it straight as well, and it never made a noticeable difference. I find people are friendlier and more open to me when I wear my hair curly, but that's about it.
posted by suchatreat at 11:30 AM on July 11, 2005

Many people assume that very curly hair on white women is a perm. I suspect that very curly, very blonde or red hair is perceived as slightly less professional. Keep your hair the (conceivably natural) color, style and length you like, but learn to keep it looking very tidy at work. French braid, French twist, bun, whatever works.

I have thick, curly/wavy hair. I use a "curl-softener/shine" product, which is primarily silicone. It makes my hair soft/slippery, very shiny, releases the curl and reduces frizz. I buy whatever brand is cheapest. I also use plenty of gel, and never use a hair dryer.

Some of this is prejudice against women. Look too cute, girly, sexy, and that's bad. Look too non-cute, old, or unsexy, and that's bad. You may choose to dress a little more cautiously if your field is conservative. I quite like John Malloy's books, except that he stopped the Women's version of Dress for Success because it was impossible to keep current, due to rapidly changing fashions. Just remember that when you're in the leadership position, the women coming up after you will need you to set an example. And remember, nothing looks as good as well-earned confidence.
posted by theora55 at 11:33 AM on July 11, 2005

The answer is, of course, that straightening your hair will not advance your career, per se. On the other hand, if you sense that your appearance is causing you to be treated less professionally, you may want to make some adjustments. I had my hair straighened, and it was neat for awhile. I quit eventually. (Now my hair is very very short, which is another set of stereotypes.)

Theora55 hit the nail on the head (and gives good hair advice, too) -- this is a subset of sexism. People don't necessarily think "oh that curly-haired girl looks so unprofessional" any more than people walk around repeating any random sexist or racist or ageist or whatever phrases in their head, waiting for an appropriate victim. But certainly curly hair is often perceived as juvenille, and I know an awful lot of women who do the blow-out thing for that reason. Me, I can't deal with all that fuss.

Those silcone-based smoothers are fantastic. Also, I shop in the aisle for black hair for stuff like oil to keep the ends from frizzing, despite the fact that I have very white-girl frizz.
posted by desuetude at 11:48 AM on July 11, 2005

Re the straightening perm. A woman where I work had long wavy hair and had it straightened by something called a Japanese perm (Google it, there's pages of stuff on it).

It cost her a fortune (about £400) and looked great .... until her hair started to grow. The root growth, of course, was wavy, and six months later she was left with this really, really weird looking hairstyle. In the end she had to get it cut short to remove the straight hair.

She regrets having the perm, natch.
posted by essexjan at 1:40 PM on July 11, 2005

BTW: women's magazines aren't talking as much about hair straightening these days because it was a fad that has now mostly passed. These days it's all about making your hair look natural. If that matters to you. I know too much about this topic b/c I just wrote a paper on it.
posted by mai at 2:51 PM on July 11, 2005

I don't think it's silly to be worried about stuff like this (then again, I used to live in New York, where everyone's trying to out-cool everyone else)

well, I still live in NYC... Know what's the best way to out-cool people? Not giving a shit what they think! Seriously, if people are going to think I'm less competent because of the way I wear my hair, why would I want to work for them? The best way to overcome stereotypes is to be evidence of their obvious error. Be a curly haired person who's clearly mature and intelligent (and intelligent), and they'll have to reassess their beliefs.

I dunno, you can follow the fashion, set the fashion, live by your own fashion, or ignore fashion altogether. That's all this question is - 'what's the fashion among professional women'. It's not some kind of inherent indicator, and the degree to which you pay attention to local fashions is another personal choice. You can certainly live a life where it's not a concern, but if you like that kind of thing in general, you can also certainly live a life where it's quite an important component of things. It's all up to you.
posted by mdn at 8:03 AM on July 12, 2005