Walkers, is this a "thing"? Help me understand...
October 6, 2014 10:51 AM   Subscribe

Is there some kind of instinct or reflex that causes people to walk and stop in specific ways? I feel like I actively try to avoid getting in the way of other walkers, and if I thought that there were non-conscious reasons for people getting in my way, I might be more forgiving of them.

Specifically:

~~ walking down the street, and coming to a stop at the point in the sidewalk where it is hardest to be walked around (i.e., such as today when the man walking ahead of me stopped to look at his phone at a place in the sidewalk where trashcans were kind of scattered, reducing the amount of sidewalk space, and then standing in the dead center of what space was left so that I literally had to turn sideways to get past him without brushing him, a trash can, or a wall).

~~ after coming to a stop, starting to walk again immediately prior to being overtaken by the person behind you, even if you don't care to move quickly or even consistently (i.e., you stop to look at your phone. I come up behind you and am about to pass you. You start walking again, just before I reach you, and swerve so that you're directly in my path).

~~ standing on a sidewalk, moving slightly at random, but mainly staying still until a walker (say, me) nears you, at which point you move three or four steps so that you are standing in the exact spot at which I would cross in front of you if you were to have stood still and I were to have stayed on my trajectory, causing me to have to swerve off my trajectory. For no reason. Just to stand there.

~~ You are walking down the street. You come to an intersection (or a driveway). You do not pause, but cross the street (or driveway) despite there being a car waiting to cross before you got there and also despite the fact that another walker (for example, me) has stopped and is waiting for the car.

~~ standing at a bus stop, surrounded by others waiting at the corner, you (and all the others, presumably) see a walker heading toward you and you do not in any way make room for them, so that the only way they can pass you is by asking you to move or walking in the street.

~~ walking down the street in a group, three or four abreast, approaching a single person walking toward you. Why doesn't one (or more) fall back to make room for the single person? I do, when I'm walking in a group, but I get shoved off the sidewalk or into buildings more often than I can count.

I don't want to be a curmudgeon and this is not by any means a young vs old issue. Is there a sociological or biological explanation for any of these? Thanks. *sigh*
posted by janey47 to Human Relations (54 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
People are mostly self-absorbed idiots, but this one is different:

You are walking down the street. You come to an intersection (or a driveway). You do not pause, but cross the street (or driveway) despite there being a car waiting to cross before you got there and also despite the fact that another walker (for example, me) has stopped and is waiting for the car.

Pedestrians have the right of way so you are incorrect for waiting, unless you don't think the driver has seen you and therefore it would be unsafe to cross in front of the car.
posted by desjardins at 10:55 AM on October 6, 2014 [13 favorites]


Response by poster: Sorry, I don't mean to threadsit, but for clarity, desjardins, does that mean that at a time of day when cars are driving and people are walking, it is *never* the car's turn?
posted by janey47 at 10:58 AM on October 6, 2014


1. People who stop to look at their phone in the middle of the sidewalk are rude.

2. Pedestrians have the right of way in a driveway-crossing situation, and in many-to-most street crossing scenarios (though, as a driver, it does annoy me when a pedestrian charges across a street against the light without even looking to see if a car is coming; still, they're in the right even if I don't like it).

3. People who "line" up for the bus by mobbing in the middle of the sidewalk are rude.

4. People who walk too many people abreast for others to use the sidewalk are rude.
posted by Sara C. at 10:59 AM on October 6, 2014 [10 favorites]


Other than the right of way car thing, low situation awareness explains all of these. They just aren't paying attention to their surroundings or are and don't care.
posted by edbles at 11:01 AM on October 6, 2014 [18 favorites]


01 thoughtless idiot

02 distracted thoughtless idiot

03 either 01 or 02 or a combination

04 anything from general idiot to person in a great hurry

05 people who are nervous about losing their spot in a queue (and who are also a bit thoughtless)

06 a gang of thoughtless idiots who should be plowed through like a hot knife through butter
posted by poffin boffin at 11:10 AM on October 6, 2014 [11 favorites]


- In general people don't pay very good attention to their surroundings (aka other pedestrians).
- In general people have very different senses of personal space.
- In general people have very different views on 'appropriate' walking behavior.

I grew up in New York and spent a lot of time walking on the street and have thought a lot about walking behavior. But there's little consensus on what's 'right' and what's not. Midwestern sidewalk behavior and Manhattan sidewalk behavior are completely different animals, for example. Here in San Francisco we have all kinds of sidewalk behavior and it can be maddening. People that grew up in suburbs walk way different than people that grew up in city neighborhoods. You just gotta walk your walk and not let others' behavior get to you.

As for the multiple people heading for you problem - the only solution is to stop and wait for them to move around you. Seriously, just stop walking, stand still, and let them make the moves to get around you. If you try to keep walking, it turns into a game of chicken and they larger group will always win. For some reason, people have no problem running a moving person off the sidewalk, but they will completely avoid a stationary person.
posted by gyusan at 11:11 AM on October 6, 2014 [15 favorites]


Best answer: walking down the street, and coming to a stop at the point in the sidewalk where it is hardest to be walked around

This is almost sounds like a distant cousin of target fixation to me. Maybe unconsciously people don't want to stop in the middle of nowhere and would much rather stand around in a spot that already has other things (trashcans) "standing around"?

I wouldn't be surprised if some grad student had done a study on Average Stopping Points of Pedestrians on a Sidewalk.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 11:11 AM on October 6, 2014 [7 favorites]


For groups of people walking abreast, I think there are a few things that contribute to the problem:

- Someone has to notice that you're coming up to the group;
- Someone has to be willing to temporarily remove themselves from an ongoing conversation; it's harder to participate from behind the rest of the line;
- Someone has to actually be able to execute the drop-back -- their walking partners may also stop if they slow down abruptly, which of course doesn't help (I have trouble even dropping back behind my partner of nearly 10 years when my only goal is to not walk into a sidewalk-narrowing tree; if I'm with others and trying to make room for people, forget it, I can't make it happen)

... and all those "someone"s have to be the same person. Also, if some of them are the slow-walkers that make me want to pitch acorns at the back of their heads, it may not actually be one single group -- it may be two slow walkers together and one person trying-dear-god to get past them who happens to be abreast of them at the same time they're all passing you the other way. They can't collaborate to make room for you because they're not together.
posted by dorque at 11:12 AM on October 6, 2014 [4 favorites]


All the stuff except for waiting for the car is mildly rude, but not necessarily actively antagonistic toward you.

...does that mean that at a time of day when cars are driving and people are walking, it is *never* the car's turn?

Where I live this is absolutely the case, but it's usually mediated with Yield/Stop signs and traffic lights. Not that drivers don't not bother waiting and roll through stop signs with people waiting to cross or cut through empty spots between pedestrians crossing a street, but they're the ones being rude in that situation.

Also, regarding this: Why doesn't one (or more) fall back to make room for the single person?

I've started not changing my path when encountering this and every single time the people walking parted to let me through when they realized I wasn't changing course.
posted by griphus at 11:13 AM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


Many of your situations are accounted for by the fact that when people are looking at their phones, they aren't paying attention to their surroundings. You assume people are failing to pay attention out of malice. Never assume malice where you can assume ignorance. Is it rude? Sure. But people are sometimes rude because they aren't aware of what's going on around them. To the point where people will walk into dangerous situations because they aren't paying attention.

The only one of your examples that really bothers me (in a busy walking city) is when people are walking in a group and don't make room for people going the other way. That happens a lot, so what I tend to do as the single pedestrian is move closer to the middle of the sidewalk so they have to go around me rather than me go around them.

You are definitely wrong in stopping for cars. Pedestrians always have the right-of-way on sidewalks where there isn't a light. This is for safety purposes. Does it suck to be the car when pedestrians are mobbing the sidewalk and you can't get out of a driveway? Yep. But that doesn't mean jack in terms of right and wrong.
posted by DoubleLune at 11:13 AM on October 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


I do a lot of walking, and the politics of walking are pretty interesting. I have noticed that when I am overtaking someone they speed up. Other times, people will overtake me, and then slow down. So I speed up to prevent that from happening.

When walking, body language is important. If it seems like you will yield to a group walking three abreast, they will not get out of the way. The best thing to do is to occupy your space in the middle of the sidewalk until the last moment, and then yield.

Arms should be swinging side to side, like an ape.

I had to figure out all this stuff when I returned to Canada after living in Japan for 10 years. In Japan (in the big cities) people know how to get out of the way (as did I).

Here I am always bumping shoulders.

There are some subtle power dynamics at play in our more aggressive European/North American culture.
posted by Nevin at 11:14 AM on October 6, 2014 [6 favorites]


People lined up walking on the sidewalk are incredibly rude, self-absorbed, and oblivious. I'm a lifelong pedestrian - I've always lived in walkable areas and do not drive - gyusan's answer is by far the best method for when you encounter one of these groups.

If you don't want to stop just walk purposefully and look past them, thousand-yard-stare style, and they will almost always move out of the way.
posted by troika at 11:15 AM on October 6, 2014 [5 favorites]


I grew up in New York and spent a lot of time walking on the street and have thought a lot about walking behavior. But there's little consensus on what's 'right' and what's not. Midwestern sidewalk behavior and Manhattan sidewalk behavior are completely different animals, for example.

And seconding this. I just moved from a university town to Boston, and I am constantly being run into on the sidewalk here in situations where I am completely baffled that anyone thought [insert behavior] was ok. Apparently accommodating other pedestrians here is basically a felony.
posted by dorque at 11:17 AM on October 6, 2014


(There are intersections with no lights or signs, but those are usually either in areas with very little traffic or free-for-alls/deathtraps and whatever normal rules of walking/driving etiquette usually apply are superceded with self-preservation for people walking.)
posted by griphus at 11:17 AM on October 6, 2014


Low situational awareness and being involved in their own shit/their own lives. Pedestrian walkways aren't the freeway; you're not risking anyone's personal safety by not checking the flow of traffic at all times. You otoh probably want to examine the superiority complex that's leading you to view your neighbors and city peers as malicious idiots who need your "forgiveness".
posted by moonlight on vermont at 11:21 AM on October 6, 2014 [3 favorites]


Sorry, I don't mean to threadsit, but for clarity, desjardins, does that mean that at a time of day when cars are driving and people are walking, it is *never* the car's turn?

You said when cars are stopped - I took that to mean either at a red light or stop sign, or when a car is stopped in a driveway, preparing to pull out into the street.

1. Car stopped at red light, intends to go straight or turn left. Pedestrians should only cross when there is a walk sign.
2. Car stopped at a red light, intends to legally turn right. Pedestrians should only cross when they have the walk sign and may cross in front of the car turning right, so long as the walk sign is still lit.
3. Car stopped at a stop sign. Pedestrians have the right of way into infinity.
4. Car stopped in a driveway, waiting to pull onto street. Pedestrians have the right of way into infinity.
5. Car stopped in the street, waiting to turn into a driveway. Pedestrians have the right of way into infinity.

However, in my practical experience, at a stop sign or driveway the driver will edge out enough to intimidate more people from walking in front of the car, then the driver will pull out.
posted by desjardins at 11:21 AM on October 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


Some people are aware of the world around them. These people are generally courteous, stand to the side on escalators, make room for other people, don't stand in the door of the subway, wait for people to get off the elevator before getting on, etc.

Some people aren't really aware of the world around them, for a number of reasons. These people go about their day not getting out of the way of other people because it never occurs to them that them need to. For some of these people, this might be temporary behavior. Maybe their dog just died and they have a lot on their mind.

Some people just don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves. They stand in the door of the subway because it's convenient for them to do so. They smoke around non-smokers and flick their butts on the ground. They are, generally, assholes.

If you're in the first category, congratulations. The best thing you can do is not let the other people drive you crazy. Assume their dog just died and try not to hate the rest of humanity. You can't change them, all you can do if forgive them.

Most people are in the first category and you don't notice them because they're not in your way. The people in the other two categories are fewer in number but stand out a lot more. Just keep telling yourself that most people are good.
posted by bondcliff at 11:27 AM on October 6, 2014 [21 favorites]


I think this is a combination of people coming from places with different pedestrian "culture" + people being generally inattentive to the world. Like someone upthread, I recently moved to Boston, and while I don't mind walking alone (I am firmly in the "generally inattentive" category in life in general, so whatever other people are doing sort of rolls off my back), I am constantly confused when walking with folks who have lived in Boston for a long time! We just have really different ideas of how aggressive to be as a pedestrian. :) Doesn't mean one of us is right or wrong, just that we get our pedestrian "rules" from different backgrounds. Since there aren't as many legal rules to follow as there would be for cars, I think you end up with a lot of variation. (Well, Boston drivers are ALSO crazy aggressive to me, but that's another story...) So there's the pedestrian culture thing, plus people have lots of things on their mind that aren't you and where you're walking. Big presentation at work, just got in a fight with Mom, didn't sleep well last night and thus I'm crazy tired, what happened last night on Project Runway, etc. etc. Does it get a little annoying sometimes? It can, but wouldn't you rather spend your life worrying about something more important than whether some random stranger happened to notice where you were walking? If you need someone to move, just politely say "Excuse me" and 99 times out of a hundred, they will move for you. (You may reserve your anger for the 1% that actively decides to be a dick when asked to make way for you.)
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:34 AM on October 6, 2014


Most of your examples involve you overtaking someone else, which I can't contribute to except to agree with those who say most people are distracted/don't care about their suroundings.

However one tip that I got somewhere (maybe here?) for walking on crowded streets is to make eye contact with a target behind the people walking towards you, like a street sign or something. Supposedly people are more likely to avoid you as you walk towards them if you are looking past them. I have no idea if there's any science beyhind that but it has consistently worked for me ever since I started doing it. Even works, though less frequently, on big sidewalk hogging groups coming towards you.
posted by Wretch729 at 11:34 AM on October 6, 2014 [5 favorites]


With regard to groups walking towards me, I find the thousand-yard stare to be effective. If it looks like that won't work, then I stop and let them move around me.

Also, if I recall correctly, there is no right-turn-on-red anywhere in DC, though you wouldn't know it by observing some drivers.
posted by SillyShepherd at 11:41 AM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm 100% like you - I pay attention, I’m courteous, I actively get out of people’s way if I’m in their way, I plan ahead, I see vehicles, I say thank-you and you’re welcome, If I’m in a group I move over so others can pass…

All I know is that I’m VERY much in the minority.

I reach my limit when I’m in the supermarket and I’m walking down an aisle where someone’s trolley is completely blocking the aisle and that person is just staring at cans of beans or whatever. They OBVIOUSLY see me and hear me saying “excuse me” but 9 out of 10 times I’ll actively have to move their trolley to get past.

Believe me, I’ve asked myself this very same question 1 million times and the only reason I can give you is that I’m not a self-absorbed idiot and I have Common Sense and Common Courtesy and they don’t….. plus, I don’t take my phone out to text while I’m walking because that just aint appropriate!
posted by JenThePro at 11:47 AM on October 6, 2014 [8 favorites]


I've always theorized that a person's concept of personal space can change quite drastically based on movement speed, direction and conveyance (walking, biking, etc). Meaning, as you move forward, your personal space bubble stretches forward to include the space you are about to enter. Similarly, as you move forward, the size and contents of the space behind you disappear from your mind, because it's all now irrelevant.

So, if you're walking forward and the guy ahead of you stops abruptly:

* He literally forgot you were there, because that space doesn't exist to him.
* You're pissed because he's now in your space.

Because concepts of personal space vary based on age, gender, culture, it's natural for there to be all kinds of collisions, misconceptions, etc.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:49 AM on October 6, 2014 [7 favorites]


Solipsism?

There's you and your friends in the mobile facebook world, everyone else, wait there is no 'else'.

The one that I keep noticing is folks waiting patiently for the light on a busy street to turn against them before crossing!

So is there a Solipsistic Pedestrian Death Cult?
posted by sammyo at 11:54 AM on October 6, 2014


I'll just chime in to say that I am like you, but (for me at least) developing situational awareness was not an automatic thing. My dad drilled it into me (often forcibly and in a way I didn't at all appreciate when I was a kid) that I had to Watch Out Around Me and Not Get In The Way. Most people do not possess this awareness as adults and I can only conclude it is because nobody taught them they should. Possibly people who grow up in densely populated urban areas learn it by osmosis because everyone has to have these skills to get along? But without those inputs, people don't seem to pick it up.

Don't get me started on people in airports.
posted by fingersandtoes at 12:03 PM on October 6, 2014 [10 favorites]


Are you ignoring the role your own confirmation bias plays in this? You notice people doing these rude things, but you don't notice people doing identical things at times or in places that don't affect you. Naturally your inclination is to attribute to them some motive, conscious or otherwise, but that's just a case of the fundamental attribution error.
posted by klanawa at 12:13 PM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I think of people's brains as having a number of different sliders in them that affect how they appear to the outside world.

I am like this

Outside Awareness__I_______________________________________Inside Awareness

Where outside is being aware of surroundings and inside is like "how am I feeling?" and that sort of thing. I think some people see it like this

Considerate __I____________________________________________ Inconsiderate

But I think that's a false consciousness. I mean sure in NYC there is "sidewalk etiquette" about this sort of thing but at some level if it's not a place you've been and lived forever, not all of this is clear. Another way to look at it

Me ____________________I________________________ You

Ideally, people would balance their own needs with the needs of those around them. Realistically people approach these things differently. But part of the agita in these situations is that some people think there is an ideal way to approach these situations, if only everyone would do that (see, NYC sidewalk etiquette). But hey, everyone didn't get the memo so part of the planning process is that you're going to have a bunch of non-compliant people.

I am like you, sort of. I grew up in an ... unsafe household and not being aware of your surroundings meant that you risked physical or emotional pain. Therefore at some level I see this sort of thing (being totally aware of your surroundings at all time) to be a survival level skill. That said, to other people it isn't. I sometimes envy those people because I imagine that they must be relaxed and not bothered all the time they are out in public whereas for me, being out in public is frequently stressful and sometimes scary. I've found that managing my own shit, keeping my anxiety low and staying fed and well-rested helps me not give a shit about why other people do what they do. I know it's not the question you asked per se, but it might help solve the problem you are outlining.
posted by jessamyn at 12:29 PM on October 6, 2014 [14 favorites]


Best answer: Many of your examples are covered in NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette.

For example.
posted by alms at 12:39 PM on October 6, 2014 [3 favorites]


Once at some parade in DC, an officer addressed the crowd, "If people are bumping you, that means you're in the way!"

Back in college theater, our director taught us "Clear the wings!" (don't stop abruptly in the wings and create gridlock for the others who need to exit behind you).

Some people get these lessons in life, others don't.
posted by JimN2TAW at 12:42 PM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


Hello, you're me! I'm sorry to break it to you, but this all highly curmudgeonly, and the only solution other than Zen acceptance is to do an old-person's, "excuse me," with an optional, "can I get by?"
posted by rhizome at 12:42 PM on October 6, 2014 [5 favorites]


> not necessarily actively antagonistic toward you

This is important to remember, particularly as a solo walker vs. an oncoming group. You have more attention to spend on sidewalk space, while they might be in conversation.

It helps me to remember that status challenges are something primal and my fear/anger of being subordinated is something my evolved brain can work around.
posted by morganw at 1:31 PM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


For what it's worth, the thing that got me into therapy almost 15 years ago was the realization that I really really really wanted to just punch all of these people RIGHT IN THE FACE.

Now I don't! So yeah, that's my suggestion.
posted by kinsey at 1:56 PM on October 6, 2014 [3 favorites]


I once visited London with a man who had never lived anywhere but a small town in the Midwest. I grew up in Montreal. I was astounded by his lack of sidewalk savvy. He'd stop dead in the middle of a busy pavement to look at a guidebook, he'd fall into step right behind a group of people he didn't know – that one struck me as particularly odd – and he pulled variations on many of the taboos shown in the NYC Tips pages, including stopping in his tracks at the top of an escalator.

Most of this stuff was taught to me by my mother when I was downtown with her as a tot. But maybe after a certain age it's harder to pick these things up?
posted by zadcat at 2:04 PM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


Best answer: There was a post on the blue about Sidewalk Rage. It is a real thing. Nthing the suggestions to stop and make oncoming groups move around you while making sure you are on the right half of the sidewalk. "Excuse Me" said in the right tone can get some unaware people to start paying attention.
posted by soelo at 2:13 PM on October 6, 2014


Do You Make a Moral Issue Out of Being Inconvenienced?

This article discusses walking in public spaces specifically.
posted by Shouraku at 3:16 PM on October 6, 2014 [5 favorites]


"Excuse Me" said in the right tone can get some unaware people to start paying attention.

Yeah, I was just describing to friends offsite my Excuse Me tone of voice as anywhere between icily calm dowager duchess to Estelle Costanza when she found George masturbating to Glamour.
posted by poffin boffin at 3:18 PM on October 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


I think in addition to the factors already mentioned there are a couple of other things.

First, on people who stop and then start walking just as you're about to overtake them, I feel like I've done this. I think it goes like this:

1. Need something on my phone.
2. Stop, without thinking that I might be interrupting someone else's walk.
3. Someone else comes within my peripheral vision/field of attention
4. I think "Oops...I'm stopped in the middle of the sidewalk."
5. I start moving again
6. Person who came up behind me is annoyed that I started walking just as they were about to pass me.

Second factor: Confirmation bias. If you're able to generate a list of things people do on the sidewalk that annoy you, I'm guessing that you're pretty irritable on the subject of sidewalk behaviour. If you are, every incident is likely to be a "There they go again!" moment." These things may not happen as all the time as you experience them.

Finally, pedestrians always have the right of way on sidewalks. They have the right of way when they are crossing legally at a crosswalk. Every intersection with sidewalks is a crosswalk, legally. This means that in addition to the situations desjardins describes above, pedestrians also have the right of way when a turning car has a green light (not just when the car is turning right on a red light). So if a car has a green light and wants to turn right or left and I want to cross the street that car is turning on to, they can't turn until after I cross. Turning cars yield to pedestrians.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 3:24 PM on October 6, 2014 [5 favorites]


Also, if I recall correctly, there is no right-turn-on-red anywhere in DC

No, we've had right-turn-on-red in DC for decades, since the late 1970s.

It's only in NYC that you must still wait for the light. Also, these 'rules about walking' only seem to be a thing in Manhattan, where multiple tourists walking abreast form these annoyingly common obstacles to residents. In DC, where the tourist areas are more segregated from the working world, it seems the most annoying tourist walking behavior is coming to a stop at the top of a Metro escalator.
posted by Rash at 3:44 PM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


I don't have an explanation beyond "people are just oblivious", but as someone who gets irritated by this particular kind of obliviousness on a more or less daily basis, I've found some hacks that tend to work:

1. Wretch729's "eye contact with a target behind the person coming at you" technique. This seems to work because if you're looking right at someone, they assume you've seen them and therefore (if they're a particular type of person, which I will not describe with an adjective although several come to mind) also assume that you're going to accommodate them.

2. Walk slower so that people have time to see you. I'm a fast walker, and often people who are in my way are in my way not because they're inconsiderate assholes but because I'm upon them before they've seen me.

3. The more you move your body while walking, the more visible you are. Swing your arms, swing from side to side, swagger a bit, and you will be seen by all but the most oblivious nose-in-cellphone type. Go to the opposite extreme, suppressing all unnecessary motion, and you will be Harry Potter-level invisible. (This happens to me, and I'm tall and male.)

4. A surprisingly effective one I've discovered recently is to walk around imagining that the circumference of your sensorium is about two feet further out than it actually is. You carry a five-foot-diameter bubble around with you and you can physically feel anything that touches or enters that bubble. (This means, for example, that when going around a corner you feel you need to give it a couple of feet of space.) Somehow or other people can sense this, and become convinced of the existence of this bubble themselves.

5. If all else fails, be the oblivious one. Four boisterous undergrads advancing in a human wall toward me on the sidewalk? Fine, I'm on my cellphone, or fascinated by the cracks in the sidewalk, or just really stoned. Someone has to move but it can't be me because I don't know they exist. They'll move, and nine times out of ten they'll do it totally unconsciously.
posted by zeri at 3:49 PM on October 6, 2014 [5 favorites]


A combination of an always-oblivious subpopulation (whether because they're rude jerks, or weren't raised to pay attention to that stuff, or from a different culture, or have problems with spatial awareness for whatever reason, etc) and others who are usually conscientious but weren't paying attention that particular time (maybe they had a bad day, are worrying intensely over something, got distracted by something shiny or a sudden thought, got a shocking text, etc etc). Your first 3 especially might be difficult for people who have trouble constantly monitoring their environment. See how many possible explanations there are that don't involve them being jerks? Focusing on that might help curb the irritation. (have you really never done any of those things on your list, ever? I definitely have, even though most of them annoy me too)

There might also be an element of ask vs. guess-like culture going on - some people put a lot of effort into actively avoiding getting into other people's way and expect the same, whereas others aren't fussed about it and are happy to say "excuse me" as needed without any hard feelings, and again, expect that people will ask them to move if they're in the way. I definitely know people in both camps.

With regard to this: I get shoved off the sidewalk or into buildings more often than I can count I hope you don't mean literally shoved. I'm guessing you just mean you eventually yielded your spot on the sidewalk. You don't need to, if it annoys you. I'm stubborn enough to hold my ground most of the time (I make an exception if I'm in a good mood or if someone clearly needs the space, like it's a bunch of young kids or something). I make eye contact, make it clear that I'm not moving (body language and/or probably looking slightly annoyed/stubborn), and wait for them to notice me. Sometimes you'll need to stop walking before they hit you, and sometimes you'll get a dirty look from the jerk trying to force you off the road (yeah, at this point you can safely call them a jerk) but I've never had someone actually walk into me. If they do, you've stopped already, so it's officially their fault, and maybe you'll teach them to pay more attention next time.
posted by randomnity at 4:04 PM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


With regard to this: I get shoved off the sidewalk or into buildings more often than I can count I hope you don't mean literally shoved. I'm guessing you just mean you eventually yielded your spot on the sidewalk.

I don't know about the OP, but yeah, actual shoving/very hard shoulder collisions are definitely a Thing that happens regularly in some places.
posted by dorque at 4:20 PM on October 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


I thought about this a lot when I was in Japan, too (lot of walking on sidewalks in medium crowds).

I tried the stare, I tried bitch face, I tried just stubbornly keeping my line... The problem is you're meeting each person new, not the same people over and over. They don't know you're going to do that.

I have a new theory. People like you (and me) are visibly aware of their surroundings and the people in it. Know what that means? You've got this, they can stop paying attention. You've accepted responsibility for being the collision avoider. I have a lot fewer of these problems when I just wander around looking up like a tourist or staring at my phone. I think it's because in that case they don't subconsciously trust that I'm going to go around them.

Usually looking aware is good street smarts - it makes you look like less of a mark for the bad people. I think it works against you in this way, though.

(Also, in Japan, reflexively trying to move to the right is the wrong thing to do, and it takes a lot more effort than you would think to break that habit.)
posted by ctmf at 5:28 PM on October 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


(And I mentally give elderly people a pass to walk however the hell they want. I figure they've earned it, plus it makes it seem more funny to me than irritating.)
posted by ctmf at 5:32 PM on October 6, 2014 [4 favorites]


All is solved by observing Malcolm's Rules for Being a Pedestrian:

1) know where you're going
2) go there

Just because my friend said it offhandedly 15 years ago doesn't mean it doesn't belong on traffic signs. And in PSA's. And on currency.
posted by The Noble Goofy Elk at 8:26 PM on October 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


You could try using a bicycle bell.
posted by blueberry at 8:32 PM on October 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


For some reason, I've had very good luck crooking my elbow so that I'm holding my forearm horizontally across my body like a rail that's going to shunt the incoming person aside.

Although after reading some of these responses about attitude and dominance games, I wonder if that's just because, after doing this for five years in Chicago with a bicycle in that hand, I just really, really believe that it's going to work.

I will say this: if you're walking a bike along the sidewalk, very few people will deliberately ram themselves into the bicycle.
posted by d. z. wang at 8:37 PM on October 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


The first thing I thought when I read your post was, "Whooee, this person needs anger management classes" - but what you really need is just a bit of awareness.

I get around in a mobility scooter and I'm very aware of sidewalk congestion; clueless people who are so busy on their phones that they don't even KNOW they're on a sidewalk; those who drag along until I'm within ten feet of them, which is as close as I go, and then turn, give me an evil look and start moving fast because they don't want me getting in front of them even though I move lots faster than they do; the four abreast groups who won't give way; the professionals who have to stand in a group all over the sidewalk as they all say the professional version of "see you later"; the folks who block the little ramp I need to get off or onto a sidewalk; and all the rest. But here's the thing: I'm not going to change anyone's behavior except my own, no matter how badly I try or how badly it upsets me. What I can do is give in to the irritation, let the annoyance show all over my face, and trigger the same reaction in everyone I meet - or back off, realize that the sidewalk isn't there for MY personal use, put a really nice smile on my face - and watch things change for the better, which never fails.

When I take a bus, they always load me and my scooter first - everyone else has to wait. You can imagine how annoying this is to those who are waiting, waiting, waiting to get on the bus - the driver waves them back, then waves me ahead of them and onto the bus. What I DO is to smile and apologize to everyone and thank them for being so nice - and they jump out of the way and smile back - no one's mood is damaged.

When I'm on a sidewalk or in a crosswalk on a WALK light, I have the right-of-way over vehicles, yes - but I don't assume that drivers give a hoot about who has the right-of-way - I'd better watch out for drivers turning through the crosswalk right in front of me or so close behind me I can feel the air move; both moves are illegal, but that sure doesn't stop 'em.

In a parking lot or crossing a street where there's no light, the onus is on me to watch what I'm doing and expect the unexpected from vehicles - listen for engines running, indicating the car's likely to back out right over the top of me, watch for cross-country drivers zipping through the parking lot sideways as a short cut, etc. Sidewalks aren't half as dangerous as streets.

I think it's been easier for me because 1) I already overcame the gotta-get-out-in-front business years ago when I went from a V6 engine in my Ford to a VW bus - you must learn right away that going will be slow or you die; and 2) I have Parkinson's, so it's been years since I've been able to move quickly in any mode.

I think it would behoove everyone to slow down, to cultivate a more laid-back/easygoing mood and to just go ahead and smile - be the first one - and watch things change. It's very possible that one of the phone calls those phone-obsessed persons are on today as they block your way is very, very important - much more important than sidewalk courtesy. And remember also that one day you may be the one who's getting in everyone's way just because that's all you're able to do.
posted by aryma at 10:10 PM on October 6, 2014 [4 favorites]


I second jessamyn's Inside Awareness < ---- > Outside Awareness explanation as something that accounts for my crappy pedestrian behavior. I am usually a great walker! I am an even better and hyper observant bus rider! But days when I'm worrying about a job, or planning a party, or thinking about my upcoming meeting with my PhD advisor, I am truly oblivious. I've even not "seen" my own spouse when he was walking toward me. So please forgive us sometimes space cadets.
posted by spamandkimchi at 12:36 AM on October 7, 2014


Jessamyn's post makes a lot of sense to me, too. I'm a single woman who walks alone to work and a lot of other places, and being aware of who's coming toward me (and who's coming up behind me) are critical skills. I'm also a klutz and am concerned about walking into other pedestrian(s). So when I'm walking outside, I'm really, really cognizant of where other people are in relation to where I am.
posted by virago at 4:52 AM on October 7, 2014 [1 favorite]


2 things, following up on some of the above:
- I usually say, when coming up behind someone, "on your left!" in a cheerful, nonchalant tone of voice (learned that from bicyclists).
- people do change from one of bondcliff's categories to another (or slide along jessamyn's scale) all the time, so it's a good idea (for your mood, and for their learning experience) to go with the "dog died" explanation, and hope they learn from your cheerful approach.
posted by mmiddle at 6:54 AM on October 7, 2014


I find that a good way to resolve/avoid 'pedestrian chicken' is a technique from horseriding: turn your eyes and face towards the place you intend to go and everything else will follow. If you want to divert to the person's left, then look to their left, so you're showing them your right cheek. Don't look away, don't look at them to check what they're doing, just keep looking at where you're going to go and then go there. I've never come close to bashing into someone when doing this.

Most of the 'problem' of pedestrain chicken comes from people sending unclear signals, that become even more unclear as they try and react to the other person's signals. But if you're approaching someone and you can see their right cheek, you know they're going to head left.
posted by Drexen at 9:13 AM on October 7, 2014 [3 favorites]


turn your eyes and face towards the place you intend to go and everything else will follow.

This is something that people who are not used to walking in a city almost NEVER do, and in my opinion is one of the major causes of pedestrian frustration.
posted by Sara C. at 10:38 AM on October 7, 2014 [1 favorite]


Pedestrians have the right of way so you are incorrect for waiting

You are definitely wrong in stopping for cars.


There's nothing "wrong" or "incorrect" about deciding to allow someone else to go first when you have the right of way. I fail to see why it would be wrong of me to choose to allow someone to go ahead instead of waiting a longer time for me to cross the street before they can continue on their way. Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean there is something wrong with not doing it!

If you are in an area where pedestrian right of way is ignored, or is not part of the law of that area, I personally prefer to wait for cars to clear. I don't really care if other people think it's wrong to do so, I'd rather not risk tangling with a car to assert my rights.

If drivers have noticed you and are waiting, wave your hand sideways to gesture that you are allowing the car to continue before you cross the street so they aren't wondering if you are going to cross or not.
posted by yohko at 12:02 PM on October 7, 2014 [1 favorite]


When you cede your right of way, the person who is 20 steps behind does not cede their right-of-way and you cannot cede it for them.
posted by soelo at 1:43 PM on October 7, 2014


When you cede your right of way, the person who is 20 steps behind does not cede their right-of-way and you cannot cede it for them.

Of course if someone else is about to walk into the street don't wave the car on as if the way is clear, but you can still stop and stand at the curb even if you have the right of way if you like, you are not required to enter the street simply because you have the right of way and can stand at the curb for as long as your local vagrancy laws allow.

The person 20 steps behind can wonder why the hell this person at the curb is in their way and won't cross the street if they like, or the car may well have passed by then.
posted by yohko at 2:17 PM on October 7, 2014


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