Weight differential making mattress uncomfortable - any solutions?
July 7, 2014 12:08 PM Subscribe
I am struggling with back aches when I'm trying to sleep. I think it has something to do with my sleeping partner weighing about 60lbs more than me. What are the possible solutions - both short term (mattress toppers, etc.) and long term (new mattress)?
posted by misskaz to Home & Garden (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
So, I weigh about 120lbs and my partner weighs about 185lbs. My lower and middle back regularly aches when I'm in bed but almost immediately resolves when I get up and start moving around. I don't know for sure that the issue is the weight differential specifically, but I can say that it always feels like I'm fighting against being pulled into the depression that his weight creates on the bed.
Worth noting that my partner is not overweight, and I've had similar problems in the past with lighter sleeping partners. I think being a small person just means I don't depress the mattress much. Also, I'm in good physical shape and don't believe this is a matter of a bad back or weak core generally. Currently I have a decent quality (~$1,000 when it was new) Stearns and Foster traditional spring queen mattress that is about 7 years old. It is on a box spring in a typical metal bed frame that has a center support leg. The mattress has a thin pillowtop and is not able to be flipped. I believe it is considered a firm mattress, though I don't remember exactly. I do rotate it regularly.
1. In the short term, I am looking for product and/or behavioral suggestions. For example - is there a mattress topper or box spring additional support that could help with this problem? Any other ideas? Behavior-wise, my sleeping partner does tend to end up close to the center of the bed, and I've noticed when he is all the way on his side the problem lessens. I can ask him to sleep closer to his side, but we do both like to cuddle-sleep plus it's hard to maintain positions once we fall asleep. I tend to cede space and covers while sleeping without realizing I'm doing it.
2. While I can't afford a new mattress right this minute, I would like to start planning for/saving up for one. So, what should I be thinking about? I have successfully used memory foam mattress toppers in the past, but I sleep HOT and am wary of full latex or memory foam mattresses for that reason. Sleep Number beds are pretty expensive to get into the models that have separate settings for each side. Do they even help with this very specific "I feel like I'm falling into the abyss" issue?
I'm fine with getting a traditional mattress again. My previous mattress was not a pillowtop and I flipped it regularly, so that is not enough of a solution. It seems like this expensive mattress only lasted a few years until this started becoming an issue. Is this just how long mattresses last?
tl;dr: My back hurts from fighting being pulled into the depression caused by my partner's weight in my bed. Do you know of any solutions to this issue?