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June 4, 2014 10:36 AM Subscribe
What are some techniques I can use to get through a day job that is sometimes really grating?
I started a new job (I’m a programmer) a few months ago. It turns out that because of the heavy bureaucracy on multiple fronts as well as the values of the (massive) company, the product I’m working on has very little chance of ever being good.
That’s depressing, so I need something else to focus at work on because I need to be at this job for at least a year. (I quit my previous job after less than a year because some bait-and-switch happened, and I was doing a very different job from the one I had signed up for.)
I’m taking the attitude that I am a consultant that is there to make my client (the company) happy, rather than there to make the best possible software. I’ll offer to do what I think is the best thing for the product, but if policy or managers do not agree, I will not fight at all for it. I feel this is honest while it also protects me from unnecessary conflict or overwork.
It’s worked well so far. I enjoy programming in general, and I'm finding that I’m fine coding in service of a bad design or working with bad IT infrastructure. (It helps a lot that much of the codebase is well-groomed.) However, I’ve started struggling lately. My major hurdles are:
There are many long-ass meetings which are largely pointless – most of the big decisions have already been decided, and we’re just being railroaded into them. The thing is, some of what is said is so wrong or dumb that I have trouble biting my tongue. Also, I’m expected to participate, I can’t just tune out because there are some coworkers that watch others and call out they’re not paying attention.
Speaking of that, I find some of my coworkers grating sometimes. Some of it is their constantly positioning themselves as The Ones Who Really Care. I am also not a fan of their frequent shittalking and or complaining about other people at the company. Sometimes it’s justifiable, but I still hate hearing it. And I’ve heard some of them express some personal opinions that I find disgusting. I just try to forget them, but some things just stick in my head.
So, what are some good tricks for sucking it up, other than just sheer force of will, which I’m already using?
I started a new job (I’m a programmer) a few months ago. It turns out that because of the heavy bureaucracy on multiple fronts as well as the values of the (massive) company, the product I’m working on has very little chance of ever being good.
That’s depressing, so I need something else to focus at work on because I need to be at this job for at least a year. (I quit my previous job after less than a year because some bait-and-switch happened, and I was doing a very different job from the one I had signed up for.)
I’m taking the attitude that I am a consultant that is there to make my client (the company) happy, rather than there to make the best possible software. I’ll offer to do what I think is the best thing for the product, but if policy or managers do not agree, I will not fight at all for it. I feel this is honest while it also protects me from unnecessary conflict or overwork.
It’s worked well so far. I enjoy programming in general, and I'm finding that I’m fine coding in service of a bad design or working with bad IT infrastructure. (It helps a lot that much of the codebase is well-groomed.) However, I’ve started struggling lately. My major hurdles are:
There are many long-ass meetings which are largely pointless – most of the big decisions have already been decided, and we’re just being railroaded into them. The thing is, some of what is said is so wrong or dumb that I have trouble biting my tongue. Also, I’m expected to participate, I can’t just tune out because there are some coworkers that watch others and call out they’re not paying attention.
Speaking of that, I find some of my coworkers grating sometimes. Some of it is their constantly positioning themselves as The Ones Who Really Care. I am also not a fan of their frequent shittalking and or complaining about other people at the company. Sometimes it’s justifiable, but I still hate hearing it. And I’ve heard some of them express some personal opinions that I find disgusting. I just try to forget them, but some things just stick in my head.
So, what are some good tricks for sucking it up, other than just sheer force of will, which I’m already using?
I'll just speak to the coworkers. I knew in August I wouldn't be returning to this job the following year. One person in particular really got under my skin but I knew it was just a temporary situation and that I would be gone soon enough. Focus on that. It's a lot easier to deal with your coworkers when you see them as just there during a transitional time in your life, not a pernament fixture.
I learned to let go of a lot of resentment by remembering they are just people doing the best they can. I humanized them. I tried to remember I probably drive them crazy too.
posted by Aranquis at 10:53 AM on June 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
I learned to let go of a lot of resentment by remembering they are just people doing the best they can. I humanized them. I tried to remember I probably drive them crazy too.
posted by Aranquis at 10:53 AM on June 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
The environment you describe can be found in a distressingly large amount of fields and companies.
One piece of advice that has served me immeasurably (which you also seem to be striving for) is:
Never care more about a task or project than your boss does.
As far as sucking it up, what you are being asked to do may be a compromise of your working "morals," and I don't know if it's possible to simply suck it up day after day, meeting after meeting.
You can, however, try letting go.
They may seem to be the same, but somehow, internally, it makes a world of difference to me. Sucking it up entails that I carry this shit with me, and it continues to build up over time... crap on top of crap. Letting things go, however, frees me of their burden the second they are out of my presence.
Sure, the irritations are still there sometimes when I sit down for a meeting--especially where it seems everyone involved has consumed 20 liters of stupid juice and is simply vomiting sheer idiocy on each other around a conference table, but right after, I'll take some alone time in the bathroom, and... breathe... Let it go.... just breathe...
I also remind myself that Company X has been around for a lot longer than I have been there. They were fine before me, and they'll be fine after I leave. Obviously, something is working for them, and although I think things would be better done my way, instead of focusing on why I think it's stupid, I try to find something about the proposed project/task that I do enjoy, even if it's just the completion of an unpleasant task.
Also, whenever I'm about to walk in to an expected shitty day at work, I take a pause and remind myself that whatever happens on that side of those glass doors is not my life, or even life in general... and I will not allow it define my day, and more importantly, who I think I am. It is merely a tool that enables me to have a life.
posted by Debaser626 at 2:04 PM on June 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
One piece of advice that has served me immeasurably (which you also seem to be striving for) is:
Never care more about a task or project than your boss does.
As far as sucking it up, what you are being asked to do may be a compromise of your working "morals," and I don't know if it's possible to simply suck it up day after day, meeting after meeting.
You can, however, try letting go.
They may seem to be the same, but somehow, internally, it makes a world of difference to me. Sucking it up entails that I carry this shit with me, and it continues to build up over time... crap on top of crap. Letting things go, however, frees me of their burden the second they are out of my presence.
Sure, the irritations are still there sometimes when I sit down for a meeting--especially where it seems everyone involved has consumed 20 liters of stupid juice and is simply vomiting sheer idiocy on each other around a conference table, but right after, I'll take some alone time in the bathroom, and... breathe... Let it go.... just breathe...
I also remind myself that Company X has been around for a lot longer than I have been there. They were fine before me, and they'll be fine after I leave. Obviously, something is working for them, and although I think things would be better done my way, instead of focusing on why I think it's stupid, I try to find something about the proposed project/task that I do enjoy, even if it's just the completion of an unpleasant task.
Also, whenever I'm about to walk in to an expected shitty day at work, I take a pause and remind myself that whatever happens on that side of those glass doors is not my life, or even life in general... and I will not allow it define my day, and more importantly, who I think I am. It is merely a tool that enables me to have a life.
posted by Debaser626 at 2:04 PM on June 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
I can’t just tune out because there are some coworkers that watch others and call out they’re not paying attention.
(Disclaimer: I work for a software company in a technical capacity.)
This is really unprofessional and distracting behavior, and I would be infuriated if anyone prolonged a meeting with this hall monitor bullshit. I'd be tempted to say, "I'm taking meeting notes for myself, can we take the chatter offline?"
I don't believe in ducking work for the sake of ducking it, but I think it's reasonable to ask for an agenda before a meeting (so you can decide if you need to be there).
I also put the kibosh on meetings where I attend 2-3 times and 1. Don't learn anything or contribute anything that isn't already known or 2. come away without any action items. You can make a good case to your boss that this is just wasting valuable company time where you could be coding. If I'm not heeded, I work through meetings.
If you are not a complete introvert, try to find someone friendly, preferably on another team, who you can go to coffee with occasionally and talk about Not Work, ask advice of, or vent to. Other people can be just as bored/frustrated/previously burned by the same things as you and this can be a nice sanity island. Barring that, is there a library, bookstore, something else nearby you'd like to browse to get away? Try to get away for lunch if you can sometimes, or book a small room to work on your own for a bit.
As far as unpleasant people, I cultivate an attitude of being very busy. Headphones, bolting out the second a meeting is over, etc. If you are always rushing off to work, or saying "Excuse me, I am terribly busy," it has the added effect of giving the impression you're invested.
If someone talks shit about a person to you, regardless of how you feel about the gossip or the gossip-ee, consider saying something nice about the gossip-ee and then changing the subject. They should get the picture you're not going to roll around in the mud with them.
Take a little time each day/week to hone a skill/language/whatever you are weaker in in, if there's even the teeniest connection to the work you're doing now. You're making yourself more valuable, which will lead to that next job AND remind you that there's a light at the end of the tunnel to your current situation. I taught myself Ruby during a contract that was a sinking ship (they hired me, didn't have enough to do with me). No one could get mad at me having the command line up instead of Buzzfeed every time they came to my desk.
posted by Lardmitten at 2:09 PM on June 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
(Disclaimer: I work for a software company in a technical capacity.)
This is really unprofessional and distracting behavior, and I would be infuriated if anyone prolonged a meeting with this hall monitor bullshit. I'd be tempted to say, "I'm taking meeting notes for myself, can we take the chatter offline?"
I don't believe in ducking work for the sake of ducking it, but I think it's reasonable to ask for an agenda before a meeting (so you can decide if you need to be there).
I also put the kibosh on meetings where I attend 2-3 times and 1. Don't learn anything or contribute anything that isn't already known or 2. come away without any action items. You can make a good case to your boss that this is just wasting valuable company time where you could be coding. If I'm not heeded, I work through meetings.
If you are not a complete introvert, try to find someone friendly, preferably on another team, who you can go to coffee with occasionally and talk about Not Work, ask advice of, or vent to. Other people can be just as bored/frustrated/previously burned by the same things as you and this can be a nice sanity island. Barring that, is there a library, bookstore, something else nearby you'd like to browse to get away? Try to get away for lunch if you can sometimes, or book a small room to work on your own for a bit.
As far as unpleasant people, I cultivate an attitude of being very busy. Headphones, bolting out the second a meeting is over, etc. If you are always rushing off to work, or saying "Excuse me, I am terribly busy," it has the added effect of giving the impression you're invested.
If someone talks shit about a person to you, regardless of how you feel about the gossip or the gossip-ee, consider saying something nice about the gossip-ee and then changing the subject. They should get the picture you're not going to roll around in the mud with them.
Take a little time each day/week to hone a skill/language/whatever you are weaker in in, if there's even the teeniest connection to the work you're doing now. You're making yourself more valuable, which will lead to that next job AND remind you that there's a light at the end of the tunnel to your current situation. I taught myself Ruby during a contract that was a sinking ship (they hired me, didn't have enough to do with me). No one could get mad at me having the command line up instead of Buzzfeed every time they came to my desk.
posted by Lardmitten at 2:09 PM on June 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
I don't know what you do outside of work hours, but I am more able to see work as a more minor part of my life when I have a second job or side project (even a fun one, like at a bar), am doing something hard that is physical and gives me a lot of joy (e.g., rock climbing or yoga), or am planning a big trip.
posted by salvia at 5:44 PM on June 4, 2014
posted by salvia at 5:44 PM on June 4, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by killdevil at 10:41 AM on June 4, 2014 [1 favorite]