Do you regret your elopement or tiny wedding?
April 9, 2014 2:34 PM Subscribe
We are considering eloping or having a wedding with an extremely limited guest list. Has anyone had a great experience with this? Will I regret it?
posted by JoannaC to Human Relations (76 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
Details: living together about two years, very much in love and committed to relationship, both of us have had therapy, separately and together, to deal with past baggage and we have both come a long way. He's the one. The only obstacle to a happy marriage is, well, the wedding.
I will point form this to avoid a blog-ish spew, but here are the main difficulties:
- He has been married before and I do not want this to be a cliche experience. I want it to be different for him and his family.
- He has social anxiety difficulties; a party with tons of people paying attention to him would be his special definition of hell.
- We are both very money-careful and the thought if spending thousands of dollars on one day horrifies me.
- We each have relatives, including in the immediate family, who are problematic and who we don't want there.
- Neither of us are particularly interested in any of the minutiae which goes into planning such things. Flowers, caterers etc. Ugh.
We have discussed doing one of those 'just you' Vegas packages where it's all pre-set. Many of them are quite affordable, include a video or photographs and basic amenities, and can accommodate up to ten guests. I do feel like I might like that because I may regret not at least having my mom there.
But I also suspect that if we did find ourselves in Vegas just on vacation and he suggested a spur of the moment let's just do it, I might say yes. I do want my mom there if possible, but I think she would understand, whereas in the other scenario of having to explain to some of the other relatives why we had a wedding and didn't include them, the repercussions would be more severe. Whereas if we invite nobody, nobody will be angry....
Has anyone here done that sort of thing? Any regrets?