How do I get to know my parents as people?
March 26, 2014 4:07 PM Subscribe
After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away?
posted by lpcxa0 to Human Relations (21 answers total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
This may be morbid and I hope not bad luck or superstition but I truly don't know who my parents are. They are still in their early 60s so I have time but it's quickly depleting. I've never had an exceptionally close relationship to them and it's only been in the past 5 years that I've let go alot of the anger I held for them due to an almost deadly cancer experience in my childhood during prime development phase (ages 9-13). I realize that I blamed them for alot that was beyond their control and held onto anger that wasn't justifiably towards them. So overall, I was a pretty shitty son for more then a few years. I've apologized for that and I do believe that they have forgiven me but I would still like to make up for lost time and get to know them as people. I will admit that the relationship still isn't perfect, they still annoy me given long streches, my mom's hippieish meets conservative christian attitude on social issues angers me, and my dad's silent except when anxious deamonor still frustrates me (and the fact that he asks for IT advice then does the exact opposite...) but they are my parents and I do truly love them and respect what they went through raising 3 kids.
The only problem is I don't actually know how to do this, I know the base and major events in their life but I don't know the small things that make up the majority of life. They are coming out for two weeks in a month and I would really like to spend some quality time with them rather then the normal, get drunk and tolerate each other while having scratched the surface meaningful conversation. So how do I make up for lost time and get to parents better? If not alive, what do you wish you would have done when your parents were alive?