Different Life Tracks
January 26, 2014 6:43 PM Subscribe
How to deal with friends moving in different directions in life/feeling left behind?
posted by sprezzy to Human Relations (12 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
...I don't really feel left behind, like I need to catch up to my friends or anything. But a lot of my friends are on distinctly different life tracks than I am. We're all in our late-20s to early-30s. Most of the friends I spend a lot of time with are either married or in a long-term relationship, prioritizing house renovations/buying property, and preparing to have kids in the near future. Meanwhile, I'm single, intending to rent for the indefinite future, and eager to go out and have adventures/travel. I have my own plans and goals but for the present I don't mind spending a little money to experience new things. I feel like a bit of a kid in that respect, but I know I'm not ready to buy a place or settle down quite yet.
Lately, though, even more of my primary friend group have found significant others so I'm starting to feel that "gap" between our life tracks a little more. I absolutely understand and respect their desire to spend the majority of their time with their SOs, and I understand that my friends who are trying to save for a home can't go out as much, etc etc. But this is just causing me to feel a little adrift. I even considered trying to actively date more so maybe I'll have someone to do things with. I know I'd like to be partnered/married sometime in the future, but I enjoy my single life and am not "desperate" for a relationships...but maybe I should just get out there and date for fun? Also I know there's solo travel, but I feel like experiences are best when they're shared, so I'd prefer not to travel alone.
So I guess the gist of it is, are you or have you been the lone single person in a group of married, baby-minded, settle-down friends? What are some good way to deal with that occasional adrift/left-behind feeling? I know this is pretty much on my end and something I have to learn to deal with. Also, despite increasing differences in life goals and states I really love my friends, and don't want to eventually lose them to these kinds of differences. I know that's not always possible and sometimes people just go in different directions, but if you're a married, settled-down person with a single, less-settled friend, what are things that single friend does that you appreciate & you feel helps you stay connected even when life gets in the way?