Can you change yourself with difficult experiences
January 20, 2014 1:02 AM Subscribe
I am a mid 20's male and have been suffering from social anxiety for 8 years. I have recently come out of a deep depression due to the residual effects of SA (intense isolation, no job, minimal contact with friends) and I can't endure this anymore I need to go through an intense change and to start a fresh.
posted by frenchfryfrenzy to Human Relations (24 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
Basically my life has become meaningless and empty and I've become a weak and scared person and i'm starting to really hate myself. I feel like a loser with no good qualitys and nothing to offer anyone. I am aware some of this is low self-esteem and bad self-image but I feel there is some truth to this.
I'm constantly searching for answers to my problems via books and the intetnet. constantly searching. This has been a useful tactic for making me feel less guilty and ashamed for not having the guts to confront my problems head on in real life, because I know having knowledge without action is useless.
There are some things I badly need in my life right now: that are love, the feeling of acceptance, companionship, and to truly become man. And I don't feel the former will happen until the latter has been achieved. And by “to truly become a man” I mean: to have self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-confidence, courage. To be able to stand on my on two feet and be proud of myself as a man and a person, and go into the world as I would like to.
And for this to be actualized I think I need to experience something intense and difficult like putting myself in a sink or swim situation, or to go through some kind of rite of passage. I traveled for some time when I was 20 before my SA was as severe as it is now but it was basic travel. I've lost so much self-identity and sight of who I am as a person due to isolation, that I feel I need to go through a really tough experience, somthing that's going to push me to my limits something that might break me down and force me to rebuild myself into a strong capable person and to begin the process of becoming the person I would like to be.
I think my question is has anyone gone through such an intense, hard, or profound experience that they came out the other side a new person or were changed for the better.