Unexpected TEENAGE guest for the holidays?
December 16, 2013 3:56 PM Subscribe
Both my niece (16 yrs old) and her father (my brother - 37 yrs old) conveniently "forgot" to tell me that her 18 year old boyfriend would be coming to our family Christmas. They will be staying in MY house and did not ask for permission for the boyfriend to stay, nor did they ask myself or my mother (Grandma) permission for an outsider to come to the family Christmas. The kid already has a plane ticket and I honestly don't believe it's his fault - I 100% blame my brother and my niece. So, it's sort of too late - he's coming. But what do I say to them to let them know that I am FURIOUS but it's the holidays so I'll do my bloody best to be HOSPITABLE and FUN and CHEERY but that this is seriously NOT OKAY with me?
posted by athena2255 to Human Relations (113 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
Additionally, I really want to say something to my niece about it because I feel like this was her manipulative doing more than my brother's ... but I don't want to ruin my relationship with her, as can so easily happen with a teenager "in love." Last year she managed to talk Grandma into allowing the boyfriend to come to our family reunion for two days ... but then, oops, we accidentally bought a ticket for seven days! And forgot to tell anyone until he showed up! Our bad! My mother was so hurt by that - here she had gone out of her way to try to seem cool to a moody teenage girl, only to get totally taken advantage of. I never talked to her about her behavior at that reunion as it wasn't my house and I NEVER would have given her permission to bring a teenage boyfriend to a family event ... probably why they didn't ask for permission this time.
Also: I only have a two bedroom house - one for myself and my husband, one for Grandma ... and was expecting my brother to have the couch and my niece to have the blow up air mattress. What do I do about sleeping arrangements?
Finally: I think I'm hip. I'm early 30s! I listen to the Foals and Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings and drink craft beer and am an atheist and lived with numerous boyfriends before getting married and have tattoos and all the rest ... but am I just getting old? Do kids do this nowadays? Am I unreasonably bothered by this?
Thanks in advance!