how much detail need one give about their sexual history?
December 9, 2013 7:50 PM Subscribe
In my past, I was very experimental. Now I'm wondering how much of that I'm obligated to tell my SO.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (48 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My SO has the broad strokes of my past significant long-term relationships and knows that I used to be a wild partier. I'm wondering if that's enough detail, or if other peoples' assumptions of what being a "wild partier" are different enough from mine that I have an ethical obligation to fill in those broad strokes.
I'm not concerned that my partner will judge me/ be upset at all, but I also don't want to be secretive or lie through omission.
I haven't told my partner the extent of my sexual experimentation, which included a few threesomes with my partner of the time plus friend, some same-sex experimenting, and a pretty heavy involvement in BSDM, as well as a couple of flings. I assumed that the threesomes, flings and same-sex stuff was implicit in "used to be a wild partier", and that the BDSM stuff wasn't important because I no longer enjoy that type of experience, but as this relationship grows more serious, I want to make sure I'm doing things right- I don't want my partner finding these things out by accident and feeling betrayed.
What do you think? Do I have an obligation to lay this stuff out in detail?