I think my boyfriend is toothless.
October 18, 2013 10:50 AM Subscribe
So, I've been dating a guy since March, and despite a few hiccups, things are pretty great. There's one thing that's been bothering me though - I'm 99% sure he doesn't have any teeth, at least in the front. There's a whole list of evidence I've assembled in my brain over the last few months that makes me believe he is almost certainly toothless, and I can no longer stand not to know. I've decided to try to bring it up this weekend, but I haven't a clue how.
posted by tryniti to Human Relations (84 answers total) 85 users marked this as a favorite
He is obviously very protective of people seeing into his mouth. He covers his mouth when laughing, never smiles openly, and generally goes to great lengths to keep things hidden. I'm guessing that if he does in fact have some mouth funk going on, that he's probably really, really embarrassed about it. I'm, in fact, a little embarrassed that it took me this long to realize that the person I'm dating/kissing/sleeping with might have no teeth. This entire question feels completely ridiculous and surreal.
I guess my question is, how in the hell do I bring this up? I want to be sensitive to his feelings, but at the same time, I really need to know a) if my suspicions are correct, and b) why in the world this happened to a 29 year old man. For what it's worth, I've eliminated a lot of possibilities regarding b) - he has never mentioned a car wreck, for example, or playing hockey, getting into fights, or anything else that might explain extreme tooth loss. I can only figure that it's due to poor oral hygiene, and EW, I really would want to be aware of that.
So folks, can you think of a way to ask this question? I've run through possibilities in my head ranging from sensitive and serious (I hate to bring up a topic which might be distressing for you, but I'm curious as to why you seem to have some oral issues?), to funny/sarcastic to try to make it seem like not a big deal (So...what's going on up in your grill?). I know there is virtually no way this isn't going to be a really awkward conversation, but I'd like to not screw it up from the get-go. Help?