Get the teens talking.
September 5, 2013 11:36 AM Subscribe
What are some great conversation starting questions to ask young people over dinner?
Last year I hosted a sit down dinner party for a group of high school students (ages 17-18).
During the dinner I threw out the following questions: "If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?" and "Without naming names, describe your favorite and least favorite high school teacher".
We went around the table and the kids really got into it. Many great and funny answers ensued and that evening is still talked about fondly to this day.
I have been asked to host the dinner once again and would like your help in posing this years thought and laugh provoking questions.
What would you ask?
Last year I hosted a sit down dinner party for a group of high school students (ages 17-18).
During the dinner I threw out the following questions: "If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?" and "Without naming names, describe your favorite and least favorite high school teacher".
We went around the table and the kids really got into it. Many great and funny answers ensued and that evening is still talked about fondly to this day.
I have been asked to host the dinner once again and would like your help in posing this years thought and laugh provoking questions.
What would you ask?
Well, we do this at family dinners, throw out provocative or interesting questions, teens, no teens, one and all.
What song do you consider your personal anthem? Hum it (for laughs!)
What's the earliest memory you have of the movies? Television?
Describe the plot of your favorite novel (admittedly works better with drinking adults, but you'd be surprised how hard it is to tell the plot of a novel!)
Tell a joke! (You can ask people to come prepared)
What creeps you out?
Close your eyes. Describe the person sitting to your right. (This always gets laughs.)
posted by thinkpiece at 11:50 AM on September 5, 2013 [2 favorites]
What song do you consider your personal anthem? Hum it (for laughs!)
What's the earliest memory you have of the movies? Television?
Describe the plot of your favorite novel (admittedly works better with drinking adults, but you'd be surprised how hard it is to tell the plot of a novel!)
Tell a joke! (You can ask people to come prepared)
What creeps you out?
Close your eyes. Describe the person sitting to your right. (This always gets laughs.)
posted by thinkpiece at 11:50 AM on September 5, 2013 [2 favorites]
If you could have any super power, what would it be and why would you want it?
What would you change about the world if you were in charge but could only change one thing?
What talent or ability do you wish you had and why?
posted by jacindahb at 11:51 AM on September 5, 2013
What would you change about the world if you were in charge but could only change one thing?
What talent or ability do you wish you had and why?
posted by jacindahb at 11:51 AM on September 5, 2013
What are you reading now?
posted by Rash at 11:55 AM on September 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Rash at 11:55 AM on September 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
I always like "If you could have any UNCONVENTIONAL super power, what would it be?" No simple answers like flying or being invisible or walking through walls. You can get some pretty great answers from this one.
If you could "un-invent" anything, what would it be and why?
If you owned a store and could only sell THREE ITEMS, what would those three items be?
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 11:55 AM on September 5, 2013 [2 favorites]
If you could "un-invent" anything, what would it be and why?
If you owned a store and could only sell THREE ITEMS, what would those three items be?
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 11:55 AM on September 5, 2013 [2 favorites]
What do you think your plan would be if you reached your mid-twenties and the career path you thought you wanted just wasn't going to work? How would you cope/what would your next steps be?
You're suddenly the President. What's the first serious issue that you would fix? What's the first frivolous one?
Once the dialogue gets going and people get comfortable, it could be a great opportunity for them to open up in what they feel is a safe environment, so...
What the absolute hardest thing you had to go through in high school? How did you deal with it?
What makes you the most nervous about going to college/getting a job/whatever the next step after HS is? Give others the opportunity to contribute ideas as to how to deal with each person's issue.
How do you feel about Ben Affleck being cast as Batman? What did you think of that Miley Cyrus performance? Do you think the hit song "Blurred Lines" really advocates rape culture? (I have to chime in that i personally don't, and it's a huge annoyance to me that others do, it's my current hot button)
The conversation will flow effortlessly once they get comfortable and talking.
posted by assasinatdbeauty at 11:57 AM on September 5, 2013
You're suddenly the President. What's the first serious issue that you would fix? What's the first frivolous one?
Once the dialogue gets going and people get comfortable, it could be a great opportunity for them to open up in what they feel is a safe environment, so...
What the absolute hardest thing you had to go through in high school? How did you deal with it?
What makes you the most nervous about going to college/getting a job/whatever the next step after HS is? Give others the opportunity to contribute ideas as to how to deal with each person's issue.
How do you feel about Ben Affleck being cast as Batman? What did you think of that Miley Cyrus performance? Do you think the hit song "Blurred Lines" really advocates rape culture? (I have to chime in that i personally don't, and it's a huge annoyance to me that others do, it's my current hot button)
The conversation will flow effortlessly once they get comfortable and talking.
posted by assasinatdbeauty at 11:57 AM on September 5, 2013
What are you reading now?
This. Challenge them. Who gives a rats ass about Presidents or Miley Cyrus? That's the crap they see on tv news, that's the crap that's forced on them by media. Ask them what they think about Gatsby, about why Guy Montag did what he did, then ask them to take those opinions and apply them to the above. That's the beginning. Then you can ask the insipid questions to get the students to say, "Wait, that's idiotic, what we should be asking is..."
My two pennies.
posted by elendil71 at 2:56 PM on September 5, 2013
This. Challenge them. Who gives a rats ass about Presidents or Miley Cyrus? That's the crap they see on tv news, that's the crap that's forced on them by media. Ask them what they think about Gatsby, about why Guy Montag did what he did, then ask them to take those opinions and apply them to the above. That's the beginning. Then you can ask the insipid questions to get the students to say, "Wait, that's idiotic, what we should be asking is..."
My two pennies.
posted by elendil71 at 2:56 PM on September 5, 2013
"What are three things that people don't know about you?"
LOVE this question as an ice-breaker.
posted by HeyAllie at 3:37 PM on September 5, 2013 [3 favorites]
LOVE this question as an ice-breaker.
posted by HeyAllie at 3:37 PM on September 5, 2013 [3 favorites]
Tell me about your closest friends. What drew you to one another?
posted by jabes at 4:14 PM on September 5, 2013
posted by jabes at 4:14 PM on September 5, 2013
Discussing books is wonderful, and maybe this is unique to my high school experience, but I had to spend what felt like half the day discussing books and their application to modern life in school. If I was invited to a dinner party, the last thing I would be interested in doing was something I spent 5 days a week doing. Using current cultural references to break the ice initially just to get their mouths going was the point being made. It's common, easy, ground to start from.
posted by assasinatdbeauty at 5:36 PM on September 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by assasinatdbeauty at 5:36 PM on September 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
There's always the classic "tell us three things about you, two have to be true and one has to be false", and then people have to try and pick which was which. Some people pick something subtle for the false fact that only those that know them well will pick up on, others pick something that will get a few laughs, others pick a truth that might appear to be false taht can generate interesting conversation.
posted by Admira at 5:39 PM on September 5, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Admira at 5:39 PM on September 5, 2013 [2 favorites]
Ask them what they think about Gatsby, about why Guy Montag did what he did, then ask them to take those opinions and apply them to the above.
Ugh, don't do that to them. That's what school is for. Ask them about media that THEY are interested in. If they're 17 or 18, they're probably not into Miley Cyrus. They might be into some artsy video games or japanese comic books or something. 17-18 year olds can be into some really weird, interesting stuff. Try: "What's your favorite band that you like that nobody else does?"
posted by empath at 7:51 PM on September 5, 2013
Ugh, don't do that to them. That's what school is for. Ask them about media that THEY are interested in. If they're 17 or 18, they're probably not into Miley Cyrus. They might be into some artsy video games or japanese comic books or something. 17-18 year olds can be into some really weird, interesting stuff. Try: "What's your favorite band that you like that nobody else does?"
posted by empath at 7:51 PM on September 5, 2013
We had fun one night with "If you were a chair, what kind of a chair would you be? And why?"
Its the "why" that gets interesting.
posted by SLC Mom at 8:21 PM on September 5, 2013
Its the "why" that gets interesting.
posted by SLC Mom at 8:21 PM on September 5, 2013
Best answer: When you ask the same question of each person, sometimes those who have yet to respond are so busy crafting their answer that they don't hear what each other is saying. Consider the option of filling a jar with slips of paper for all of the excellent questions recommended in this thread. Hand the jar to the first person and have him or her take a slip, read the question and respond, then pass the jar to the next person.
Another option is to fill the jar with favorite quotes and have each person comment on what the quote means.
posted by kbar1 at 10:01 PM on September 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
Another option is to fill the jar with favorite quotes and have each person comment on what the quote means.
posted by kbar1 at 10:01 PM on September 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
Depending on the teenagers I think you could spend the whole time talking about which Hogwarts house you'd be in and why.
posted by town of cats at 10:37 PM on September 5, 2013
posted by town of cats at 10:37 PM on September 5, 2013
"What's your plan in the event of a zombie apocalypse?"
posted by mstokes650 at 11:51 PM on September 5, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by mstokes650 at 11:51 PM on September 5, 2013 [3 favorites]
We had a great time on vacation with all our sons' friends with conversations like these. I think it works best when you let the discussion develop organically and then bring in questions related to the subject.
For instance, one night the kids grew heated talking about politics, and how messed up our government is. We were talking about how polarized the two parties are, how much money goes into electing people, how few people feel they can trust politicians these days, the disenfranchisement of voters, etc.
So I asked them all what they would do if they could go back in time and change ONE thing about the system in the beginning. Like, you are IN THE ROOM with the founding fathers and you tell them, "Hey, you want to spell this out because today we're getting it wrong".
Really fascinating insights came out of that discussion! Most felt the lobbying and money poured into campaigns had to change, but weren't sure how to accomplish this ("Make sure no one uses 'corporations are people' as an excuse, ever"). We thought about Gore/Bush and whether changing the weighting of the popular vote and the electoral college made sense. My atheist son wanted separation between church and state to be more clearly defined, hoping to keep Blue Laws of the books, avoid Prohibition completely, cut down on religious influence in general. The need for transparency and the freedom of information came up, because Snowden. Some felt we needed to ditch our democracy (actually republic) completely.
So then, of course, the follow-up was what system would be better? What system of government would you put in place if you were starting over and had the power to choose? We went around the table and heard advocates passionately defending everything from total anarchy to a Spartan warrior society to a more Athenian democracy.
In the end, we opted for the tried-and-true 'benevolent' dictator.
Which, in turn, led to a discussion of how we as a country have a habit of supporting leaders in other countries who then became corrupt, and how THAT could be changed...
posted by misha at 9:22 AM on September 6, 2013
For instance, one night the kids grew heated talking about politics, and how messed up our government is. We were talking about how polarized the two parties are, how much money goes into electing people, how few people feel they can trust politicians these days, the disenfranchisement of voters, etc.
So I asked them all what they would do if they could go back in time and change ONE thing about the system in the beginning. Like, you are IN THE ROOM with the founding fathers and you tell them, "Hey, you want to spell this out because today we're getting it wrong".
Really fascinating insights came out of that discussion! Most felt the lobbying and money poured into campaigns had to change, but weren't sure how to accomplish this ("Make sure no one uses 'corporations are people' as an excuse, ever"). We thought about Gore/Bush and whether changing the weighting of the popular vote and the electoral college made sense. My atheist son wanted separation between church and state to be more clearly defined, hoping to keep Blue Laws of the books, avoid Prohibition completely, cut down on religious influence in general. The need for transparency and the freedom of information came up, because Snowden. Some felt we needed to ditch our democracy (actually republic) completely.
So then, of course, the follow-up was what system would be better? What system of government would you put in place if you were starting over and had the power to choose? We went around the table and heard advocates passionately defending everything from total anarchy to a Spartan warrior society to a more Athenian democracy.
In the end, we opted for the tried-and-true 'benevolent' dictator.
Which, in turn, led to a discussion of how we as a country have a habit of supporting leaders in other countries who then became corrupt, and how THAT could be changed...
posted by misha at 9:22 AM on September 6, 2013
Other topics that tnd to lead to in-depth discussions:
What AREN'T high schools and colleges doing right to prepare kids for their futures?
Where did you get most of your education on relationships, sex and birth control--School? Parents? The internet? How should this information be presented?
Healthcare-what should be covered? Why can't we get socialized healthcare? How do we pay for it?
posted by misha at 9:43 AM on September 6, 2013
What AREN'T high schools and colleges doing right to prepare kids for their futures?
Where did you get most of your education on relationships, sex and birth control--School? Parents? The internet? How should this information be presented?
Healthcare-what should be covered? Why can't we get socialized healthcare? How do we pay for it?
posted by misha at 9:43 AM on September 6, 2013
It sounds simple and perhaps boring, but one of the best and most surprising conversations I ever had was prompted by the question: "What was your backyard like growing up?"
posted by beanie at 11:24 AM on September 7, 2013
posted by beanie at 11:24 AM on September 7, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you have dinner with, and why?
posted by ldthomps at 11:39 AM on September 5, 2013