Help me figure out the next steps please
August 21, 2013 12:57 AM Subscribe
How do I recover from my mistakes and rough start in work life?
Per my last question, my trial period ended and I am now out of work again.
There are important reasons in my not having found a FT, permanent position even after several jobs (and opportunities I've luckily been given):
1) I don't have strong points/ marketable skills
2) The positions I've found haven't been good matches (I'm unqualified, did not perform the job well, or the workplace and I just are not suitable for each other)
3) I have made a lot of mistakes at work (with colleagues, in projects)
I know that I will be able to find some kind of work again, but I want to start a career. I'm lacking.. soft skills like being able to ask people what to do, taking initiative, and being someone people can respect as a colleague. But I don't know the steps to changing that. I don't know how to be firm and stand my ground, or lead others. Overall, I don't add a lot of value to the company and I understand that is why I haven't been able to keep a job.
I also don't know what I should be pursuing. I've tried out different jobs and found that for the most part, I CAN do them. But clearly not long-term or well enough. I don't know what my skills are or what I'd be suitable for. Rather than asking for suggestions, I would like to know how to recover or grow from these experiences. I draw a blank in even starting the job hunt, because I don't know what positions to apply for. How do I start this thing called a career if I don't know what to even look for?
I'm not sure what my marketable skills are. I don't feel like there is anything I'm good that, that would help a company earn more. Please help me!!!!
Per my last question, my trial period ended and I am now out of work again.
There are important reasons in my not having found a FT, permanent position even after several jobs (and opportunities I've luckily been given):
1) I don't have strong points/ marketable skills
2) The positions I've found haven't been good matches (I'm unqualified, did not perform the job well, or the workplace and I just are not suitable for each other)
3) I have made a lot of mistakes at work (with colleagues, in projects)
I know that I will be able to find some kind of work again, but I want to start a career. I'm lacking.. soft skills like being able to ask people what to do, taking initiative, and being someone people can respect as a colleague. But I don't know the steps to changing that. I don't know how to be firm and stand my ground, or lead others. Overall, I don't add a lot of value to the company and I understand that is why I haven't been able to keep a job.
I also don't know what I should be pursuing. I've tried out different jobs and found that for the most part, I CAN do them. But clearly not long-term or well enough. I don't know what my skills are or what I'd be suitable for. Rather than asking for suggestions, I would like to know how to recover or grow from these experiences. I draw a blank in even starting the job hunt, because I don't know what positions to apply for. How do I start this thing called a career if I don't know what to even look for?
I'm not sure what my marketable skills are. I don't feel like there is anything I'm good that, that would help a company earn more. Please help me!!!!
Without making this political, ichomp, I would first comfort myself with the knowledge that there's a lot of that going around. We thought -- my generation -- that a horrible McJob was at least a job. Nowadays people are finding even formerly professional "jobs" to be part-time no-benefits trial-period "churn" experiences. I can imagine this would sap the confidence of even the most accomplished person.
When I was in IT contracting I had the luck -- I'm sure -- timing and presumably some talent that got me gig after gig. Sometimes they lasted, sometimes they didn't, until the day the gigs stopped coming and nothing about me had really changed. For most of this I was trying to carve an opportunity that would be my ideal job, where I could comfortably putz around with 'puters while also having chances to really creatively hack together solutions. I never quite got there and it drove me crazy -- for most of my jobs "up" was into management. Anyway, I survived this era of non-permanent employment by thinking of myself as a bit of a nomad, a ronin, a gun for hire. At least until my final, career-fatal dry spell, I viewed myself as selling solutions that companies could take or leave. In other words, it wasn't me, it was them. It may not be any easier in this economy, but I think if you can Jedi-mind-trick yourself into thinking of yourself as the thing you're selling to the employer, rather than playing guessing games about what they want from you, you'll at least feel better.
posted by dhartung at 1:35 AM on August 21, 2013
When I was in IT contracting I had the luck -- I'm sure -- timing and presumably some talent that got me gig after gig. Sometimes they lasted, sometimes they didn't, until the day the gigs stopped coming and nothing about me had really changed. For most of this I was trying to carve an opportunity that would be my ideal job, where I could comfortably putz around with 'puters while also having chances to really creatively hack together solutions. I never quite got there and it drove me crazy -- for most of my jobs "up" was into management. Anyway, I survived this era of non-permanent employment by thinking of myself as a bit of a nomad, a ronin, a gun for hire. At least until my final, career-fatal dry spell, I viewed myself as selling solutions that companies could take or leave. In other words, it wasn't me, it was them. It may not be any easier in this economy, but I think if you can Jedi-mind-trick yourself into thinking of yourself as the thing you're selling to the employer, rather than playing guessing games about what they want from you, you'll at least feel better.
posted by dhartung at 1:35 AM on August 21, 2013
Can you look for jobs that are a notch or two lower on corporate ladder (ie. Rather than being a project manager you find a job where you work under the project manager)? That way you can build your skills, gain more experience, and learn exactly how to be a value to the company.
Starting lower down will help to address all three of your issues.
1. It will give you a chance to build upon the skills that you DO have
2. You'll get a chance to see the type of work and career paths that branch off from where you are, and hopefully get a better sense of what you would or would not like to do
3. Any mistakes you make will presumably have a much smaller impact on the company. Also, you'd probably feel a lot more able to ask questions and see help since you aren't expected to be the leader in the project.
Give yourself the chance to work your way up, instead of expecting yourself to excel at a high level right from the get go. For some that can sound like lowering yourself, but to me that is just good planning. Personally, I hope to be a systems analyst, I think I could be good at that and would enjoy it. However, I started my career by being a programmer/developer so that I can become more familiar with work flows, what the expectations are, gain expertice in the subject matter, etc. so someday when an analyst position opens up I'll be able to apply and know exactly what the job would be like and whether I have the skills (and interest) to go in that direction. Some people are able to skip that step and just jump in to their career at a higher level, but I think working my way up better serves me (and my bosses). I am building my career. I know the job market is extremely tough at the moment, but maybe that is a better way to go.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 5:17 AM on August 21, 2013 [1 favorite]
Starting lower down will help to address all three of your issues.
1. It will give you a chance to build upon the skills that you DO have
2. You'll get a chance to see the type of work and career paths that branch off from where you are, and hopefully get a better sense of what you would or would not like to do
3. Any mistakes you make will presumably have a much smaller impact on the company. Also, you'd probably feel a lot more able to ask questions and see help since you aren't expected to be the leader in the project.
Give yourself the chance to work your way up, instead of expecting yourself to excel at a high level right from the get go. For some that can sound like lowering yourself, but to me that is just good planning. Personally, I hope to be a systems analyst, I think I could be good at that and would enjoy it. However, I started my career by being a programmer/developer so that I can become more familiar with work flows, what the expectations are, gain expertice in the subject matter, etc. so someday when an analyst position opens up I'll be able to apply and know exactly what the job would be like and whether I have the skills (and interest) to go in that direction. Some people are able to skip that step and just jump in to their career at a higher level, but I think working my way up better serves me (and my bosses). I am building my career. I know the job market is extremely tough at the moment, but maybe that is a better way to go.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 5:17 AM on August 21, 2013 [1 favorite]
One other thing:
I don't know how to be firm and stand my ground, or lead others.
Then right now you probably should not to choose jobs where that is a key element to the position. It is TOTALLY OKAY if you don't have those skills yet, and it is TOTALLY OKAY to have a job where you don't have to take the lead. It is one hundred percent okay to be in a position where you are led. There are a lot of career paths that are successful and gratifying that don't involve managing or leading.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 5:25 AM on August 21, 2013 [3 favorites]
I don't know how to be firm and stand my ground, or lead others.
Then right now you probably should not to choose jobs where that is a key element to the position. It is TOTALLY OKAY if you don't have those skills yet, and it is TOTALLY OKAY to have a job where you don't have to take the lead. It is one hundred percent okay to be in a position where you are led. There are a lot of career paths that are successful and gratifying that don't involve managing or leading.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 5:25 AM on August 21, 2013 [3 favorites]
My career started as a job. A part-time job that paid $6.00 an hour (in 1983). It was a customer service job at MCI. I remember distinctly saying to myself, "this will do until something better turns up." I had a 25 year career in telecommunications.
Sure, some of that was sheer luck. I was in the right industry at the right time. And I stuck it out until it was the wrong industry at the wrong time. Oh well.
What I learned in customer service was how the departments all worked, how the computer systems worked, and how to sweet talk folks into getting me what I needed. Then I parlayed those skills into other positions.
What I wish I had learned sooner, rather than later, how to keep my big mouth shut!
If you are getting these jobs in a tight market, you must interview well and have an impressive resume. Shit, some people can't even get interviews, you're getting the JOB!
I recommend getting a Customer Service job, hanging out there for a couple of years until you know the ins and outs of it, and where the bodies are burried, and then start working your way up.
Based on your abilities I think you sabotage yourself. You need to call for help early on a project, not at the last minute. You accept positions that require skills you don't have or that you're not comfortable using.
A job interview is not an audition, it is an opportunity for both sides to learn about each other and to determine if you BOTH think that the position would be a good fit for you.
I like customer service as a starting point, especially for a utility/union shop, because the money is good, there are benefits and a chance for upward movement. Also, there is extensive training involved. I had 3 weeks at MCI and 8 weeks at BellSouth. Seriously, I knew my shit before I was required to actually DO anything.
So step back, and into something safe and warm. So you have a bigger brain that is contained in the world of Customer Service, we all do. Everyone who does customer service is over-qualified, but it's the BEST way to learn about a company.
That said, aim for a job with a company that you think you'll like. For example, if you're into finance, try American Express. If you like IT, try IBM. If medical stuff turns you on, work as an admissions person at a hospital. The first job you take isn't your ultimate destination.
Hang in there! Believe in yourself!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:33 AM on August 21, 2013 [2 favorites]
Sure, some of that was sheer luck. I was in the right industry at the right time. And I stuck it out until it was the wrong industry at the wrong time. Oh well.
What I learned in customer service was how the departments all worked, how the computer systems worked, and how to sweet talk folks into getting me what I needed. Then I parlayed those skills into other positions.
What I wish I had learned sooner, rather than later, how to keep my big mouth shut!
If you are getting these jobs in a tight market, you must interview well and have an impressive resume. Shit, some people can't even get interviews, you're getting the JOB!
I recommend getting a Customer Service job, hanging out there for a couple of years until you know the ins and outs of it, and where the bodies are burried, and then start working your way up.
Based on your abilities I think you sabotage yourself. You need to call for help early on a project, not at the last minute. You accept positions that require skills you don't have or that you're not comfortable using.
A job interview is not an audition, it is an opportunity for both sides to learn about each other and to determine if you BOTH think that the position would be a good fit for you.
I like customer service as a starting point, especially for a utility/union shop, because the money is good, there are benefits and a chance for upward movement. Also, there is extensive training involved. I had 3 weeks at MCI and 8 weeks at BellSouth. Seriously, I knew my shit before I was required to actually DO anything.
So step back, and into something safe and warm. So you have a bigger brain that is contained in the world of Customer Service, we all do. Everyone who does customer service is over-qualified, but it's the BEST way to learn about a company.
That said, aim for a job with a company that you think you'll like. For example, if you're into finance, try American Express. If you like IT, try IBM. If medical stuff turns you on, work as an admissions person at a hospital. The first job you take isn't your ultimate destination.
Hang in there! Believe in yourself!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:33 AM on August 21, 2013 [2 favorites]
During this job search, try to find a company with a well-defined career track and/or a mentoring program. If you get in on the ground floor and follow the steps outlined in the tracks that companies like this encourage, you tend to stick around, because you know what to expect at each level, rather than trying to meet expectations that can be muddy, as it seems was the case in your last job.
posted by xingcat at 5:50 AM on August 21, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by xingcat at 5:50 AM on August 21, 2013 [2 favorites]
Do you remember that video of people stumbling over a New York subway station's uneven steps? When it was posted, someone made a comment that they were going to show it to their next Intro to Sociology class to illustrate the way we think about people who stumble in life: when you see one person trip, you think "they might be clumsy," but when we see cut after cut of the same person tripping on the same step, it becomes clear that the step is the problem. I suspect the problem here is primarily the step.
Starting with my generation, it has become increasingly possible for the unwary to wind up in "entry-level" jobs which will never be anything more, and I don't think your fear of this is misplaced. Conversely, I suspect that hiring these days favors candidates with years of experience--as long as there is a glut of experienced workers still trying to reclaim their pre-2009 job, there's little incentive to invest in training green talent.
Also, with respect to Ruthless Bunny, the employment landscape today is very different than it was 30 years ago. Not to mention that $6/hour in 1980 has the purchasing power of $14/hour in 2013 dollars. I'm approaching my mid-30s, I've been working for my entire adult life--almost 20 years--and my average wage has yet to reach that level (Currently, I earn $13.29/hour at job #1 and $10/hour at #2). Part of the reason for this is that I took a $6/hour job in 1996 and stubbornly stuck with it, working hard and keeping my head down while waiting for some kind of break or recognition, until 2005. When I finally left, I had just been given a raise to $8.50. And that only came after I threatened to quit.
Back to the OP, though: the advice to find a job which has a clearly-defined promotion track is a good one, and this is something which you should absolutely ask about in the interview. There are companies which are willing to train inexperienced workers, but not every company will. I suspect that many employers who use probation/temp-to-hire do so at least partially to keep their labor force flexible rather than to genuinely screen for qualifications, and this may be a factor in what's happening to you. Making some mistakes during the first few months on a job is (or should be) expected, and you shouldn't beat yourself up too much over them, especially because it's not clear you made serious, termination-worthy errors--the language you use to describe your deficiencies (not having "soft skills", not being "firm", not "stand[ing] your ground", "lead[ing] others" or "add[ing] a lot of value to the company") is pure management argot. It's possible that you're a sullen, furtive, recalcitrant employee, but the fact that you're asking this question suggests you're not. Work hard, ask questions, be as positive as possible, and be kind to yourself.
If your financial situation allows it, or if you have a partner or parents who can help you keep your cost of living down, you might consider a professional degree. Besides teaching you many of the skills you'll need in a profession, many include an on-the-job training component which will allow you to build confidence and start to assemble a network of peers and mentors before you're thrown to the mercy of the job boards.
posted by pullayup at 7:14 AM on August 21, 2013 [5 favorites]
Starting with my generation, it has become increasingly possible for the unwary to wind up in "entry-level" jobs which will never be anything more, and I don't think your fear of this is misplaced. Conversely, I suspect that hiring these days favors candidates with years of experience--as long as there is a glut of experienced workers still trying to reclaim their pre-2009 job, there's little incentive to invest in training green talent.
Also, with respect to Ruthless Bunny, the employment landscape today is very different than it was 30 years ago. Not to mention that $6/hour in 1980 has the purchasing power of $14/hour in 2013 dollars. I'm approaching my mid-30s, I've been working for my entire adult life--almost 20 years--and my average wage has yet to reach that level (Currently, I earn $13.29/hour at job #1 and $10/hour at #2). Part of the reason for this is that I took a $6/hour job in 1996 and stubbornly stuck with it, working hard and keeping my head down while waiting for some kind of break or recognition, until 2005. When I finally left, I had just been given a raise to $8.50. And that only came after I threatened to quit.
Back to the OP, though: the advice to find a job which has a clearly-defined promotion track is a good one, and this is something which you should absolutely ask about in the interview. There are companies which are willing to train inexperienced workers, but not every company will. I suspect that many employers who use probation/temp-to-hire do so at least partially to keep their labor force flexible rather than to genuinely screen for qualifications, and this may be a factor in what's happening to you. Making some mistakes during the first few months on a job is (or should be) expected, and you shouldn't beat yourself up too much over them, especially because it's not clear you made serious, termination-worthy errors--the language you use to describe your deficiencies (not having "soft skills", not being "firm", not "stand[ing] your ground", "lead[ing] others" or "add[ing] a lot of value to the company") is pure management argot. It's possible that you're a sullen, furtive, recalcitrant employee, but the fact that you're asking this question suggests you're not. Work hard, ask questions, be as positive as possible, and be kind to yourself.
If your financial situation allows it, or if you have a partner or parents who can help you keep your cost of living down, you might consider a professional degree. Besides teaching you many of the skills you'll need in a profession, many include an on-the-job training component which will allow you to build confidence and start to assemble a network of peers and mentors before you're thrown to the mercy of the job boards.
posted by pullayup at 7:14 AM on August 21, 2013 [5 favorites]
You are asking the wrong questions. Instead of asking what you are good at, you should ask (yourself) what you enjoy doing. Rather, what you really, really passionately love doing. That is what you will be good at because being good at it will follow or grow naturally.
posted by Dansaman at 8:47 AM on August 21, 2013
posted by Dansaman at 8:47 AM on August 21, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks for your advice! Do you have any suggestions for jobs/companies with clearly-defined promotion track?
posted by ichomp at 10:21 AM on August 21, 2013
posted by ichomp at 10:21 AM on August 21, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
Seems to me that you have already grown. Don't be so hard on yourself.
How do I start this thing called a career if I don't know what to even look for?
One only has a "career" in hindsight. You start by looking for a job, taking the first one that pays you something decent, and from there keep looking for something better.
posted by three blind mice at 1:21 AM on August 21, 2013