WeddingFilter: Church Service Self-Invite?
August 7, 2013 7:52 AM Subscribe
Is someone 'allowed' to invite themselves to the church service of an acquaintance's wedding? Technically allowed, or socially allowed? Are church services 'open'? [Snowflakey fact scenario inside.]
posted by Capt. Renault to human relations (53 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
OK. I am part of a group of friends going back, oh, twenty years. Sister Renault is part of this group as well. A member of our circle of friends is getting married, at long last. Hooray!
Over these past twenty years, my sister and I have talked about the groom an awful lot, because he's an energetic, positive sort who always has a lot going on in his life. As such, Mother Renault knows a lot about him. She's met him a number of times over the years.
Fast forward to last Christmas, when it was my turn to host the group's semi-annual dinner. The group has grown a bit with spouses and kids, and my place is a bit too small for that kind of gettogether, so I borrowed Mother Renault's house for the evening. The dinner went well, and Mother Renault was a part of that dinner. She loves being hostess, and dove right into the whole thing, even though that was not my intention at all (I was just borrowing her house). At the end of the evening, once everyone had left, she made a comment about her having a new group of friends.
Not to be proprietary or anything, but still wanting to keep a separation of worlds thing going, particularly with a bunch of people who know a lot of stories about you in your youth, Sister Renault and I shut that down pretty quick. Or so we thought.
Yesterday, the wedding invites came in the mail. My sister got hers, and I got mine. Talked about it on the phone whith Mother Renault, becuase it's good news, and big news. Immediately, Mother Renault seized upon MY invite's reading "and Guest". She was inviting herself to the wedding as my guest. Umm, no. No thanks, Hell no, no fucking way.
She then floated this idea of going to the church service, 'to see you two', which given the regularity of our contact, is a flimsy excuse. Sister Renault and I respectively spoke against that idea, but... who knows?
SO MY QUESTION, FINALLY: Is someone allowed to invite themselves to the church service of a wedding?
If it matters: it's a Catholic service. Mother Renault is a widow of several years, but has large circles of her own friends, whom she may or may not be tired of. I don't think the bride and groom would mind, but...
SO WHAT SAY YOU ALL? Is self-inviting/crashing the church service even 'permissible' (whatever that means)?
Thank you all in advance for your well-considered, much-appreciated insights.