For the love of God, please help me make up my mind
May 27, 2013 12:05 PM Subscribe
I need to change careers. But I can't make up my mind about which one to go into, and it's driving me nuts. Please help me understand why I can't make up my mind, or what I should do about it.
Anyone who's seen even a fraction of my AskMes knows that I am eager to change careers. I've spent literally years researching and thinking about which field to go into. I've sought career counseling. I've read books. I've done informational interviews. I've even spent a couple grand on a vocational program that I decided was not for me. (Well, I sort of decided that. Half the time I'm kicking myself, thinking I made a mistake in not finishing the program.)
The problem, at this point, is not lack of information. It's the fact that on any given day, at any given moment, I'm feeling confident about some of my abilities and less so about others, meaning that whatever job I thought would be good for me yesterday suddenly seems clearly wrong for me. Or I read something about how "There really is no demand for X" or "All of those jobs are being outsourced," and I decide it's foolish of me to be going into any field that is not hugely in demand. A prime example of this is writing. I'm a pretty decent writer (and good at little else)--but there are far more writers than there are jobs for writers.
Or I start daydreaming about jobs that are in-demand, but then remember that I'm hugely right-brained, disorganized, and/or fail to possess whatever quality, aptitude or interest that would allow me to do even a passable job in such a career.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that I spend most of my days off from my current job either working on or worrying about which career I should start working towards, and the end result of this is that I accomplish nothing.
Yes, I know that it's only a job, and I am aware that I should try to find fulfillment outside of work, but at the same time the job will end up defining many things about the rest of my life--whether I have money or not, whether I'm stressed or not, what my schedule will be, whether I will be sitting at a desk all day or moving around, talking to people or getting to hole up with a computer, etc. And this is assuming I'm successful in even finding a job in whatever field I end up choosing.
I guess the heart of the problem is that my mind changes so often, and I have seemingly so little control over how I will feel about things from day-to-day, that I can't stay focused on any one career selection long enough to even give it a try.
Also, FWIW, I've sent out many job applications to random jobs that I'm reasonably qualified for, and have not heard a peep. That's starting to feel like a major time and energy sink in and of itself.
Sorry for the rambliness of this question. Thanks for any insight you can provide!
Anyone who's seen even a fraction of my AskMes knows that I am eager to change careers. I've spent literally years researching and thinking about which field to go into. I've sought career counseling. I've read books. I've done informational interviews. I've even spent a couple grand on a vocational program that I decided was not for me. (Well, I sort of decided that. Half the time I'm kicking myself, thinking I made a mistake in not finishing the program.)
The problem, at this point, is not lack of information. It's the fact that on any given day, at any given moment, I'm feeling confident about some of my abilities and less so about others, meaning that whatever job I thought would be good for me yesterday suddenly seems clearly wrong for me. Or I read something about how "There really is no demand for X" or "All of those jobs are being outsourced," and I decide it's foolish of me to be going into any field that is not hugely in demand. A prime example of this is writing. I'm a pretty decent writer (and good at little else)--but there are far more writers than there are jobs for writers.
Or I start daydreaming about jobs that are in-demand, but then remember that I'm hugely right-brained, disorganized, and/or fail to possess whatever quality, aptitude or interest that would allow me to do even a passable job in such a career.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that I spend most of my days off from my current job either working on or worrying about which career I should start working towards, and the end result of this is that I accomplish nothing.
Yes, I know that it's only a job, and I am aware that I should try to find fulfillment outside of work, but at the same time the job will end up defining many things about the rest of my life--whether I have money or not, whether I'm stressed or not, what my schedule will be, whether I will be sitting at a desk all day or moving around, talking to people or getting to hole up with a computer, etc. And this is assuming I'm successful in even finding a job in whatever field I end up choosing.
I guess the heart of the problem is that my mind changes so often, and I have seemingly so little control over how I will feel about things from day-to-day, that I can't stay focused on any one career selection long enough to even give it a try.
Also, FWIW, I've sent out many job applications to random jobs that I'm reasonably qualified for, and have not heard a peep. That's starting to feel like a major time and energy sink in and of itself.
Sorry for the rambliness of this question. Thanks for any insight you can provide!
1) There is no such thing as the PERFECT job. All jobs have compromises.
2) If PERFECT is taken off the table, then the question becomes "which job is the best MATCH for you"
3) If the best MATCHING job is one that is in less demand, or hard to get, then you have to ask yourself, "how bad do you want it"
4) If you REALLY want it, then don't worry about the trends or numbers. People who really want things tend to get them.
5) If you don't REALLY want it, then just grab any old job that pays the bills and allows you to have hobbies that interest you. There's great advantages to these kinds of jobs--this is nothing to turn your nose up on.
From here, your question should then change.
posted by Murray M at 12:24 PM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
2) If PERFECT is taken off the table, then the question becomes "which job is the best MATCH for you"
3) If the best MATCHING job is one that is in less demand, or hard to get, then you have to ask yourself, "how bad do you want it"
4) If you REALLY want it, then don't worry about the trends or numbers. People who really want things tend to get them.
5) If you don't REALLY want it, then just grab any old job that pays the bills and allows you to have hobbies that interest you. There's great advantages to these kinds of jobs--this is nothing to turn your nose up on.
From here, your question should then change.
posted by Murray M at 12:24 PM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I recently read this piece, Good News! Your Life Isn't Limitless!, and it made a lot of sense to me. You seem to have already picked up on the main thesis of the piece--that being indecisive about career options is a decision in and of itself. Maybe now is the time to cut the planning and informational interviews, pick one of the options you've been thinking of by eenie-meenie-miney-mo, and just have at it for a while.
posted by ActionPopulated at 12:49 PM on May 27, 2013
posted by ActionPopulated at 12:49 PM on May 27, 2013
In good times it takes about 15 applications to get an interview. Now, somewhat higher. The key is persistence.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:50 PM on May 27, 2013
posted by Ironmouth at 12:50 PM on May 27, 2013
You sound very scattered. And overthinking it, to some degree. You can't do a job before you've done a job. Read all you want, but it's not a substitute for actual hands-on-butt-in-chair experience. I don't know what your financial situation is, but I like ActionPopulated's advice. Just jump in and DO it. Stop sending scattered resumes like leaves to the wind, and pick three interrelated jobs and pursue them (resume/informational interviews etc). Stop giving your emotions the reins, don't give yourself permission to be flighty and change your mind anymore. Even when you don't feel like that job "that day", keep at it. Keep a list of why you chose that job, and look at it, to remind yourself to stay focused. And when you get the job, promise yourself that you'll stay at least 1 year, aim for 2 years, in whatever you've chosen, to give your emotions time to settle down.
Pretend you are an athlete training for a marathon. Keep your eyes on the prize, and your emotions in perspective. Good luck.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:06 PM on May 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
Pretend you are an athlete training for a marathon. Keep your eyes on the prize, and your emotions in perspective. Good luck.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:06 PM on May 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
From the ideas you've already researched, throw out anything that has a long lead time (going back to school for 4 years is right out). From there, pick the one with the highest employability. If there's a close race, choose the job that pays the most.
Recognize that further introspection and research are avoidance behaviors at this point. You can put off making the decision forever, but that sounds like it's gotten unsatisfying. Nthing the idea that it's time to grit your teeth and make a commitment. Good luck.
posted by mattu at 5:00 PM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
Recognize that further introspection and research are avoidance behaviors at this point. You can put off making the decision forever, but that sounds like it's gotten unsatisfying. Nthing the idea that it's time to grit your teeth and make a commitment. Good luck.
posted by mattu at 5:00 PM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
My dad became a professor because he could change his whole focus of research every 3 to 5 years as the mood struck him. He started with wildlife science and ended with artificial intelligence twenty years later.
You don't need to think of a career as the same thing for the next forty years, you can think of it as a chain of related things that last for a few years each, and then you jump into the next thing that sounds interesting as you climb the ladder. I combined that with something like my dad's approach, and I've gone from being an anthropology major in school to a natural history museum curatorial assistant to an architecture slide curator to a web services librarian, which means that in that last job I've gone from traditional reference work to web design and coding. In my non-work life I'm actually doing public relations and graphic design for local conventions, which will probably end up feeding into whatever the next step I take in my professional life will be.
There's a side effect, though: I do have a tendency to go back to school and get another degree when I need a change, so I now have two master's degrees, a finally-paid-off student loan debt, and instructions to my husband that when I start musing about getting a PhD in any subject, to hit me over the head with a large blunt object until I forget about it. He understands that's metaphorically!
posted by telophase at 11:04 AM on May 28, 2013
You don't need to think of a career as the same thing for the next forty years, you can think of it as a chain of related things that last for a few years each, and then you jump into the next thing that sounds interesting as you climb the ladder. I combined that with something like my dad's approach, and I've gone from being an anthropology major in school to a natural history museum curatorial assistant to an architecture slide curator to a web services librarian, which means that in that last job I've gone from traditional reference work to web design and coding. In my non-work life I'm actually doing public relations and graphic design for local conventions, which will probably end up feeding into whatever the next step I take in my professional life will be.
There's a side effect, though: I do have a tendency to go back to school and get another degree when I need a change, so I now have two master's degrees, a finally-paid-off student loan debt, and instructions to my husband that when I start musing about getting a PhD in any subject, to hit me over the head with a large blunt object until I forget about it. He understands that's metaphorically!
posted by telophase at 11:04 AM on May 28, 2013
You may not want to see the doors closing on all those things that interest you. You can choose a job based on how much money you desire - look at lists of jobs by income, factor in the cost of education and your level of ability, and there will be a job with your maximum earning power. You can choose a job for altruistic reasons, and look for jobs or employers that do good, and choose one that has the best combination of location and income available in your capability set. You can choose a job based on area of the country, like lobstering in Maine, or on vacation time, like teaching. Sounds like you're choosing based on interest. I've changed careers and jobs lots of times. In every job, I've been able to flex the job to make it most interesting to me and my range of skills and interests. In low-level jobs, it's harder, and there's less flexibility. I know an excellent accountant who incorporates her enjoyment of people in a way that makes her a terrific accountant for small businesses, and makes her happier in her work, a social worker/ lawyer who was perfect when we wanted a pre-nuptual consultation.
I recommend that you assess your ability to do work, and narrow by jobs for which you are unlikely to be able to qualify. For instance, I'm don't have enough math geekery to be a statistician or an insurance actuary. Consider the above factors, and then realize that if you work at it, you are likely to be able to be proficient in most of the areas that interest you.
I recommend finishing the training you started, unless it would be a huge hassle/ expense, because you have an investment already. Pick a direction. You can alter the direction. The world is changing so fast that careers are coming and going. If you are a person who is curious and who keeps learning, you will be able to not only cope with change, but will likely enjoy it.
posted by theora55 at 12:26 PM on May 28, 2013
I recommend that you assess your ability to do work, and narrow by jobs for which you are unlikely to be able to qualify. For instance, I'm don't have enough math geekery to be a statistician or an insurance actuary. Consider the above factors, and then realize that if you work at it, you are likely to be able to be proficient in most of the areas that interest you.
I recommend finishing the training you started, unless it would be a huge hassle/ expense, because you have an investment already. Pick a direction. You can alter the direction. The world is changing so fast that careers are coming and going. If you are a person who is curious and who keeps learning, you will be able to not only cope with change, but will likely enjoy it.
posted by theora55 at 12:26 PM on May 28, 2013
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Make a pros and cons list of things you're good at/not good at and be honest with yourself about it.
Also, apply for jobs you're not *exactly* qualified for - aim just a bit above your comfort zone.
Do not pay much attention to jobs that supposedly aren't in demand. I've found that when there's a job I really really want and think I'd be good at that I can normally find it even if it takes a while.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 12:18 PM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]