I need to clean a messy, dirty house in 24 hours. Most efficient way?
May 2, 2013 9:35 AM Subscribe
I need to clean a messy, dirty house in 24 hours. My landlord is showing our property tomorrow. We have not been keeping up with it due to illnesses and such. The landlord is very picky and would be shocked if she walked through here right now. I am freaking out. How can I get this done efficiently and quickly?
I will have help when my husband gets home from work. I do not have anyone else that can come help. I have your standard set of cleaning supplies and I can go buy anything else I need.
I will have help when my husband gets home from work. I do not have anyone else that can come help. I have your standard set of cleaning supplies and I can go buy anything else I need.
Some priority steps - take out any trash you can, get clothes gathered up off the floor and into baskets or other containers. Do you know if she'll be opening closets to show how big they are? If not I would cram as much clutter in there as possible.
A good wipedown in the kitchen and bathroom can make a huge difference, along with running the vacuum everywhere.
posted by brilliantine at 9:39 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
A good wipedown in the kitchen and bathroom can make a huge difference, along with running the vacuum everywhere.
posted by brilliantine at 9:39 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
If it's just garden variety dirt and disorder, my strategy is to spend 15 minutes per room cleaning ONLY that room. If it's "clean" to my standards before 15 minutes is up, I start organizing or styling. I cycle through different rooms over the course of 45 minutes, and after 3 15-minute cycles I get a 15 minute break.
Granted, I'm an apartment dweller (I don't think this works if you have 5 bathrooms to clean, for instance), but I find that I can get almost any space shipshape with a few hours of this strategy.
If you have maintenance issues or full on hoarding/squalor, you might need to be more intensive about it.
posted by Sara C. at 9:39 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
Granted, I'm an apartment dweller (I don't think this works if you have 5 bathrooms to clean, for instance), but I find that I can get almost any space shipshape with a few hours of this strategy.
If you have maintenance issues or full on hoarding/squalor, you might need to be more intensive about it.
posted by Sara C. at 9:39 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
The landlord is very picky and would be shocked if she walked through here right now.
And? If you're leaving the property (which I assume you are because the landlord is showing it), then there's nothing the landlord can do. Unless you've damaged the property, it's none of her business what you do with your apartment.
posted by saeculorum at 9:40 AM on May 2, 2013 [9 favorites]
And? If you're leaving the property (which I assume you are because the landlord is showing it), then there's nothing the landlord can do. Unless you've damaged the property, it's none of her business what you do with your apartment.
posted by saeculorum at 9:40 AM on May 2, 2013 [9 favorites]
Trash and stacks. Carry trashbags around with you, put one in every room, and throw stuff away. Then take everything that isn't trash and put it in stacks--OK, so maybe you're cluttered, but you're not messy.
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:41 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:41 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Oh, I feel you. Here's my plan for emergency serious cleanings:
1. Walk through the house with a garbage bag and throw out everything that you possibly can. Do not separate recycling. Do not save cheapo plastic tupperware. Just trash stuff.
2. Walk through the house and pick up everything that is in the wrong room and move it to the right room. Just make piles if there's a lot of this stuff, don't worry about putting it all away yet.
3. Pick a room and do the most obvious cleaning thing. In the kitchen, do the dishes. In the bathroom, clean the toilet. In the bedroom, put away the clothes. Etc. Rotate rooms so you don't get overwhelmed.
4. Repeat until all piles are gone and all major tasks are accomplished.
5. Wash windows/mirrors. Sweep/vacuum/mop.
6. Take out trash, put on light music, enjoy clean house.
In between each step, take 15 minutes and do something non-cleaning-related.
posted by restless_nomad at 9:41 AM on May 2, 2013 [54 favorites]
1. Walk through the house with a garbage bag and throw out everything that you possibly can. Do not separate recycling. Do not save cheapo plastic tupperware. Just trash stuff.
2. Walk through the house and pick up everything that is in the wrong room and move it to the right room. Just make piles if there's a lot of this stuff, don't worry about putting it all away yet.
3. Pick a room and do the most obvious cleaning thing. In the kitchen, do the dishes. In the bathroom, clean the toilet. In the bedroom, put away the clothes. Etc. Rotate rooms so you don't get overwhelmed.
4. Repeat until all piles are gone and all major tasks are accomplished.
5. Wash windows/mirrors. Sweep/vacuum/mop.
6. Take out trash, put on light music, enjoy clean house.
In between each step, take 15 minutes and do something non-cleaning-related.
posted by restless_nomad at 9:41 AM on May 2, 2013 [54 favorites]
I'm also a big fan of the crisis cleaning method of 15 minutes per room, cycling to a different room each 15 minute block. I do 3, then take a 15 minute break, and then start again in whatever room is bothering me the most. I do a sweep first in the room where I pick up big things, and then I consolidate and move smaller as I go on.
posted by Nimmie Amee at 9:42 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Nimmie Amee at 9:42 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
I would do it in prioritized phases:
1. General Tidying: Throw things away, pick stuff up off floors and countertops and put it where it belongs, etc. After, this the place will be generally presentable so if you don't have time to get everything else done it will be not that bad.
2. Vacuum and Sweep Floors: Clean floors make a bigger single difference in making a house look clean than any other single task.
3. Clean mirrors, countertops, sinks and toilets.
4. Dust the house.
5. Clean the bathtubs. Leave this until last because it is both labor-intensive and, if you have shower curtains, a place someone visiting might not look.
posted by something something at 9:42 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
1. General Tidying: Throw things away, pick stuff up off floors and countertops and put it where it belongs, etc. After, this the place will be generally presentable so if you don't have time to get everything else done it will be not that bad.
2. Vacuum and Sweep Floors: Clean floors make a bigger single difference in making a house look clean than any other single task.
3. Clean mirrors, countertops, sinks and toilets.
4. Dust the house.
5. Clean the bathtubs. Leave this until last because it is both labor-intensive and, if you have shower curtains, a place someone visiting might not look.
posted by something something at 9:42 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
Step 1) Put things away. Laundry, dishes, piles of things around the house. Start with the big things, and get to the small things. If you have more stuff than storage, make the piles of stuff neat, and out of the way.
I often find if I get step1 done, my place looks so much better that I slack off and don't do anything else.
Step 2) wipe down anything that looks dirty or grimy. Kitchen counters, sinks, toilets showers, light switch covers. Don't worry about getting all the dirt off yet, you're going for the easy to get off dirt first. As a short person, I have a blind spot to anything up high, so try to be aware of your own blindspots, whether they be fan blades, or over oven vents.
Step 3) floors -- vacuum / sweep to get the dirt you knocked off surfaces out of the way.
Step 4) when you wiped stuff down, there was some hard stuff that wouldn't get cleaned. Start working this stuff with cleaners and elbow grease.
Step 5) mop / scrub floors that need it.
posted by garlic at 9:43 AM on May 2, 2013
I often find if I get step1 done, my place looks so much better that I slack off and don't do anything else.
Step 2) wipe down anything that looks dirty or grimy. Kitchen counters, sinks, toilets showers, light switch covers. Don't worry about getting all the dirt off yet, you're going for the easy to get off dirt first. As a short person, I have a blind spot to anything up high, so try to be aware of your own blindspots, whether they be fan blades, or over oven vents.
Step 3) floors -- vacuum / sweep to get the dirt you knocked off surfaces out of the way.
Step 4) when you wiped stuff down, there was some hard stuff that wouldn't get cleaned. Start working this stuff with cleaners and elbow grease.
Step 5) mop / scrub floors that need it.
posted by garlic at 9:43 AM on May 2, 2013
Start in one corner and work out from there.
Get a trash bag or two. Throw trash into it. Less trips you have to make to the garbage can and back
Pick up and return items to their rightful places.
Anything that doesn't have a rightful place goes in a drawer, in a box under the bed/closet, etc
Dust all the surfaces and around knicknacks. Especially TVs and computers.
Sweep and vacuum the floors
Apply furniture polish (pledge) to furniture
Whoever wants to do all that for the living room and bedrooms (and any other room where water doesn't run) gets to do all that. The other person does the bathroom. Toilet, shower, wash shower curtains, wash down the sink and tub. Scrub the floor.
Finally the two of you tackle the kitchen. One person takes care of any and all dishes. The other cleans counters, stove, and the front of the cabinets.
Laundry room, if it applies, make sure you sweep and put all clothes in a basket. Clean out the lint tray, etc.
Finally take your trash bags and put them in the dumpster.
posted by royalsong at 9:43 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Get a trash bag or two. Throw trash into it. Less trips you have to make to the garbage can and back
Pick up and return items to their rightful places.
Anything that doesn't have a rightful place goes in a drawer, in a box under the bed/closet, etc
Dust all the surfaces and around knicknacks. Especially TVs and computers.
Sweep and vacuum the floors
Apply furniture polish (pledge) to furniture
Whoever wants to do all that for the living room and bedrooms (and any other room where water doesn't run) gets to do all that. The other person does the bathroom. Toilet, shower, wash shower curtains, wash down the sink and tub. Scrub the floor.
Finally the two of you tackle the kitchen. One person takes care of any and all dishes. The other cleans counters, stove, and the front of the cabinets.
Laundry room, if it applies, make sure you sweep and put all clothes in a basket. Clean out the lint tray, etc.
Finally take your trash bags and put them in the dumpster.
posted by royalsong at 9:43 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
If you have a dishwasher or clothes washer, I find it satisfying to start those running while I work on other things. Feels like 'multitasking'.
posted by unixrat at 9:45 AM on May 2, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by unixrat at 9:45 AM on May 2, 2013 [9 favorites]
Don't forget the right angle rule. Any clutter that is stacked and placed at right angles to one another/furniture, instantly looks tidier than if it is just thrown all around. It's not perfect but helps when you are in a bind.
posted by elkerette at 9:48 AM on May 2, 2013 [25 favorites]
posted by elkerette at 9:48 AM on May 2, 2013 [25 favorites]
First step: put on some really good music. Loud.
Next step: pick up all the "stuff".
1 - If there are clothes on the floor, throw them all into a laundry basket or hamper. You can sort them out later.
2 - If there are papers, divide them up into two piles: junk mail, and other. Recycle the junk and pile everything else together neatly. Sort it out later.
3 - For all other random "things", grab a box and walk around your house. Throw everything that doesn't belong into the box. Put this box in your closet. Again: sort it out later.
Next: make the beds. Even though the house is being shown tomorrow, you will use the neatly made beds to put stuff on as you clean. And it will make you feel better.
Next: tackle the kitchen. Do the dishes, wipe the counters and stovetop, wash the sink.
Next: bathrooms. Wash sinks, counters, mirrors, toilets. Sweep the floor and change the towels.
Next: vacuum/sweep/mop the main areas.
Last: take out any trash.
If you have time: dust all the furniture, mop the bathroom floors, clean the showers/tubs.
posted by yawper at 9:48 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Next step: pick up all the "stuff".
1 - If there are clothes on the floor, throw them all into a laundry basket or hamper. You can sort them out later.
2 - If there are papers, divide them up into two piles: junk mail, and other. Recycle the junk and pile everything else together neatly. Sort it out later.
3 - For all other random "things", grab a box and walk around your house. Throw everything that doesn't belong into the box. Put this box in your closet. Again: sort it out later.
Next: make the beds. Even though the house is being shown tomorrow, you will use the neatly made beds to put stuff on as you clean. And it will make you feel better.
Next: tackle the kitchen. Do the dishes, wipe the counters and stovetop, wash the sink.
Next: bathrooms. Wash sinks, counters, mirrors, toilets. Sweep the floor and change the towels.
Next: vacuum/sweep/mop the main areas.
Last: take out any trash.
If you have time: dust all the furniture, mop the bathroom floors, clean the showers/tubs.
posted by yawper at 9:48 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Best answer: This is a job for Unfuck Your Habitat! Specifically this post, entitled "Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible."
posted by KathrynT at 9:52 AM on May 2, 2013 [44 favorites]
posted by KathrynT at 9:52 AM on May 2, 2013 [44 favorites]
Move everything even a bit untidy-looking into one particular room and lock the door. Friends of mine have been known to use a snow shovel for this. Then, do spot cleaning of anything that still stands out as unacceptably dirty like dusting range hoods and cleaning bathtub rings. Use some of the tricks they mention on house-flipping programs, like dabbing vanilla extract on lightbulbs so that the whole house smells like baking cookies.
posted by XMLicious at 9:55 AM on May 2, 2013
posted by XMLicious at 9:55 AM on May 2, 2013
Breathe deep, you can do this! I put on Ella Fitzgerald sings the Cole Porter songbook, but listen to what you like.
First, tackle the kitchen, it's the hardest and will take the longest. It will also make you feel the best.
If you have a dishwasher, stack and run it. Do this until all your dishes are clean. Then start cleaning the counters, the appliances and wipe down the cabinets. If you have a range hood, take the screens out and put them in the dishwasher. Degrease the HELL out of the hood!
Get a bin (a clothes basket will work) and clear off anything on your kitchen/dining room table that isn't related to food. You'll deal with it later. Wipe the table.
Now take the bin into the living room. Anything that isn't food related or housed in the living room goes in your bin. Dust first, then vaccuum. Fuss up the pillows on the sofa. Done.
Next the bathrooms. I find that for the tub, spraying foaming cleaner on and leaving it there is the best way to degrime it. Just let it work. Put some stuff in the toilet, then use wipes to clean the outside of it. You may need a lot because hairs get everywhere! Wipe and toss, wipe and toss.
Put all the crap on the vanities in the drawers and under the sink. Nobody wants to see that stuff. If you have an old cake of soap, put that away too. Wipe down all the surfaces in the bathroom, sinks, cabinets, etc. Now tackle the tub. Spray more bubbles and using a Magic Eraser, or a scrubber, wipe it out. Rinse with water. If you have mold, a little Tilex will go a long way, makes the bath smell really clean. Lastly the mirrors. You'll put clean towels in tomorrow before the showing.
Do another bath if you have one.
Bedrooms. If clothing is out, put it in the hamper. Dust. Vaccuum. Put clean clothes on bed to be folded and put away later. Clean any mirrors. For the crap on the dressers, put loose change in one area (you can put it in a jar or take it to the bank for a treat later). Any papers, or books or things that don't belong go in the bin. If there are books or magazines that DO belong, stack neatly.
Go back to kitchen. Unload dishwasher, reload and wash again. Wipe out any obvious grossness in fridge. Don't go nuts.
Make husband responsible for mopping floors when he gets home.
Start sorting and washing laundry. Sit down and watch People's Court while folding clean clothes. Put away.
While sitting, take big bin full of crap and a fresh garbage bag and start sorting. Trash the trash. Pile up mail, to pay, to shred. Don't worry about recycling now, trash it if it's trash. Make piles based upon where things belong. Winter gear, hall closet. Game pieces, kids room. Cat toys, their basket. Anything left over, find a place for it for now.
Tidy the closets as best you can because you know someone will be looking in them.
Press husband into duty. He should come home with take out for dinner.
When you're done, have a nice soak in the tub and a glass of wine if indicated. Enjoy your nice clean house!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:56 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
First, tackle the kitchen, it's the hardest and will take the longest. It will also make you feel the best.
If you have a dishwasher, stack and run it. Do this until all your dishes are clean. Then start cleaning the counters, the appliances and wipe down the cabinets. If you have a range hood, take the screens out and put them in the dishwasher. Degrease the HELL out of the hood!
Get a bin (a clothes basket will work) and clear off anything on your kitchen/dining room table that isn't related to food. You'll deal with it later. Wipe the table.
Now take the bin into the living room. Anything that isn't food related or housed in the living room goes in your bin. Dust first, then vaccuum. Fuss up the pillows on the sofa. Done.
Next the bathrooms. I find that for the tub, spraying foaming cleaner on and leaving it there is the best way to degrime it. Just let it work. Put some stuff in the toilet, then use wipes to clean the outside of it. You may need a lot because hairs get everywhere! Wipe and toss, wipe and toss.
Put all the crap on the vanities in the drawers and under the sink. Nobody wants to see that stuff. If you have an old cake of soap, put that away too. Wipe down all the surfaces in the bathroom, sinks, cabinets, etc. Now tackle the tub. Spray more bubbles and using a Magic Eraser, or a scrubber, wipe it out. Rinse with water. If you have mold, a little Tilex will go a long way, makes the bath smell really clean. Lastly the mirrors. You'll put clean towels in tomorrow before the showing.
Do another bath if you have one.
Bedrooms. If clothing is out, put it in the hamper. Dust. Vaccuum. Put clean clothes on bed to be folded and put away later. Clean any mirrors. For the crap on the dressers, put loose change in one area (you can put it in a jar or take it to the bank for a treat later). Any papers, or books or things that don't belong go in the bin. If there are books or magazines that DO belong, stack neatly.
Go back to kitchen. Unload dishwasher, reload and wash again. Wipe out any obvious grossness in fridge. Don't go nuts.
Make husband responsible for mopping floors when he gets home.
Start sorting and washing laundry. Sit down and watch People's Court while folding clean clothes. Put away.
While sitting, take big bin full of crap and a fresh garbage bag and start sorting. Trash the trash. Pile up mail, to pay, to shred. Don't worry about recycling now, trash it if it's trash. Make piles based upon where things belong. Winter gear, hall closet. Game pieces, kids room. Cat toys, their basket. Anything left over, find a place for it for now.
Tidy the closets as best you can because you know someone will be looking in them.
Press husband into duty. He should come home with take out for dinner.
When you're done, have a nice soak in the tub and a glass of wine if indicated. Enjoy your nice clean house!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:56 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Honestly, I wouldn't bother doing anything more than taking care of anything that might be seen as a liability or breech of your lease. Take out the trash, fix or hide anything majorly broken, hide your pot or pets or anything you're not allowed to have, and leave it at that. Your landlord has no right to get mad if your shower has soap scum residue or piles of laundry on the floor when you haven't even moved out yet.
posted by joan_holloway at 10:00 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by joan_holloway at 10:00 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: FYI, we were not planning to move out quite yet, she's showing it to a realtor, not a prospective renter.
posted by desjardins at 10:01 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by desjardins at 10:01 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
Oh! Forgot to mention. If you can, use Pine-Sol. Stuff smells amazing in a "we have cleaned!" kind of way.
posted by yawper at 10:02 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by yawper at 10:02 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Seconding KathrynT.
Print off the list from Unfuck Your Habitat.
Shut off your computer and start right now, you've just wasted half an hour.
posted by Snazzy67 at 10:08 AM on May 2, 2013 [6 favorites]
Print off the list from Unfuck Your Habitat.
Shut off your computer and start right now, you've just wasted half an hour.
posted by Snazzy67 at 10:08 AM on May 2, 2013 [6 favorites]
Get a bottle of wine out and a glass. Fill it up. Take a sip every time you wipe a mirror, clear a mess, clean a sink.
Light a fragrant candle as well.
It's really amazing how easy it is once you get started.
posted by discopolo at 10:09 AM on May 2, 2013
Light a fragrant candle as well.
It's really amazing how easy it is once you get started.
posted by discopolo at 10:09 AM on May 2, 2013
Get some of those white file boxes that come in a flat pack, throw all your stuff in them, stack them by the wall with the white side out.
posted by yohko at 10:14 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by yohko at 10:14 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
After you clean toilets, put a cup of pine sol in each one and close the lid. Lots of things can be stored in laundry baskets and stashed in the car to be sorted out later....clothes, clutter, etc. Use rubbing alcohol to wipe down surfaces. It's cheap and doesn't streak. be sure and dust fan blades and vents and returns. Those get grimy fast. If you can afford a Molly Maid, call them. Having a pro work along side you will really help.
posted by pearlybob at 10:14 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by pearlybob at 10:14 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
she's showing it to a realtor
I wouldn't count on living there too much longer anyhow, so don't stress about cleaning too much, although I realize you might still want to leave her with a good impression.
posted by yohko at 10:18 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
I wouldn't count on living there too much longer anyhow, so don't stress about cleaning too much, although I realize you might still want to leave her with a good impression.
posted by yohko at 10:18 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
I think picking a system and then just going through it step by step is the best way. The ones listed above are good. The important thing is to really focus on one step at a time and don't get sidetracked by the million other cleaning tasks that need accomplishing. You will get to them.
I also use a timer to keep me on task, and then to take breaks - like 15-25 minutes on, 10 minutes off.
The classic order of operations is, I think, to clean the house from back rooms to front rooms, top of the room to bottom, dry rooms to wet rooms. Here's my own order of operations:
1) Start at one end of the house, going through every room with a garbage bag and a box. Throw away any garbage, and put any stray items/clutter into the box to be put in their rightful place.
2) Put all the clutter away or stash it somewhere. Take out any garbage that needs taking out.
3) Starting back at the same end of the house, take a broom and a duster to do a really BASIC dusting. Knock down any cobwebs from the ceilings/corners first, then run the duster on any flat surfaces. Don't spend longer than 5 minutes per room, max.
4) Spray and wipe any flat surfaces (tables, shelves, counter tops) that have dirt or gunk stuck to them.
5) Brush off any hairy furniture, if you have pets, and make any beds (a quick fling and smoothing of the covers is good enough.)
6) Vacuum carpets and any floors you usually vacuum. Just do the reachable areas and don't move any furniture if you can avoid it.
7) Go into the kitchen and put any and all clean dishes away, and wash or put dirty ones in the dishwasher. Wipe off counters/table if you haven't already.
8) Go into bathrooms and put away any clutter if you haven't already, then spray cleaner on all wet basins - tubs, shower walls, shower curtains, sinks, toilet bowls and outside the toilet and leave it sitting.
9) Return to kitchen to sweep and do a really basic wet-mopping of just the most obvious areas, without moving any furniture if possible.
10) Return to bathroom to wipe down and scrub everything that has cleaner sitting on/in it.
11) Sweep and wet-mop bathroom floors.
12) Wash your hands and drink a beer.
I can usually get all this done in 2-3 hours, even if I take breaks.
posted by Ouisch at 10:18 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
I also use a timer to keep me on task, and then to take breaks - like 15-25 minutes on, 10 minutes off.
The classic order of operations is, I think, to clean the house from back rooms to front rooms, top of the room to bottom, dry rooms to wet rooms. Here's my own order of operations:
1) Start at one end of the house, going through every room with a garbage bag and a box. Throw away any garbage, and put any stray items/clutter into the box to be put in their rightful place.
2) Put all the clutter away or stash it somewhere. Take out any garbage that needs taking out.
3) Starting back at the same end of the house, take a broom and a duster to do a really BASIC dusting. Knock down any cobwebs from the ceilings/corners first, then run the duster on any flat surfaces. Don't spend longer than 5 minutes per room, max.
4) Spray and wipe any flat surfaces (tables, shelves, counter tops) that have dirt or gunk stuck to them.
5) Brush off any hairy furniture, if you have pets, and make any beds (a quick fling and smoothing of the covers is good enough.)
6) Vacuum carpets and any floors you usually vacuum. Just do the reachable areas and don't move any furniture if you can avoid it.
7) Go into the kitchen and put any and all clean dishes away, and wash or put dirty ones in the dishwasher. Wipe off counters/table if you haven't already.
8) Go into bathrooms and put away any clutter if you haven't already, then spray cleaner on all wet basins - tubs, shower walls, shower curtains, sinks, toilet bowls and outside the toilet and leave it sitting.
9) Return to kitchen to sweep and do a really basic wet-mopping of just the most obvious areas, without moving any furniture if possible.
10) Return to bathroom to wipe down and scrub everything that has cleaner sitting on/in it.
11) Sweep and wet-mop bathroom floors.
12) Wash your hands and drink a beer.
I can usually get all this done in 2-3 hours, even if I take breaks.
posted by Ouisch at 10:18 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
Get off the computer and just get started. Open ALL the internal doors in the house. Do 1 room at a time. Shut the door when you're done.
posted by zephyr_words at 10:21 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by zephyr_words at 10:21 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
http://unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/post/42115227575/emergency-cleaning-unfuck-your-whole-house-in-the
posted by tel3path at 10:24 AM on May 2, 2013
posted by tel3path at 10:24 AM on May 2, 2013
I wouldn't count on living there too much longer anyhow, so don't stress about cleaning too much, although I realize you might still want to leave her with a good impression."
Yeah I agree with this. First, your landlord can't expect you to drop everything and get the house in showable condition in 24 hours. Second, if you do want to stay in your unit, it's not to your advantage to make the place look good.
posted by crazy with stars at 10:28 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Yeah I agree with this. First, your landlord can't expect you to drop everything and get the house in showable condition in 24 hours. Second, if you do want to stay in your unit, it's not to your advantage to make the place look good.
posted by crazy with stars at 10:28 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
The 15 minutes per room is the way to go, three times with a 15 min break and then start again. Keep doing the cycle until everything is clean. Set a timer to say on schedule and walk away from that room when the timer goes off. Start with a load of laundry, then do the dishes, and keep the laundry loads cycling through the day. Several good podcasts will make the hours FLY by. I can get my BIG house really clean in three hours, but it's not very messed up to start with. After the first few rounds, you will be searching for something to clean, I promise. By bedtime tonight, it will be DONE!
posted by raisingsand at 10:29 AM on May 2, 2013
posted by raisingsand at 10:29 AM on May 2, 2013
I hate the smell of Pine Sol and can't spend any time in a house that reeks of it. Bleach is better. Or Oxiclean.
Also depending on when you signed your lease, you're not necessarily going anywhere: If your landlord sells the apartment or house you rent while you are still living there, your old agreement (whether oral or written) is still good, unless you want a new one. Wis. Stat. § 704.09. The new owner cannot charge a higher rent or force you to make a new agreement until your old one expires. The law is different with leases that are for more than one year, but most tenants usually do not have leases that run for more than a year at a time.
Throw things in closets, use right angles, dust and vacuum.
posted by elsietheeel at 11:00 AM on May 2, 2013
Also depending on when you signed your lease, you're not necessarily going anywhere: If your landlord sells the apartment or house you rent while you are still living there, your old agreement (whether oral or written) is still good, unless you want a new one. Wis. Stat. § 704.09. The new owner cannot charge a higher rent or force you to make a new agreement until your old one expires. The law is different with leases that are for more than one year, but most tenants usually do not have leases that run for more than a year at a time.
Throw things in closets, use right angles, dust and vacuum.
posted by elsietheeel at 11:00 AM on May 2, 2013
I don't think anyone's said this yet, but I'd call up 2-4 friends and offer to buy them drinks/pizza, or just pay them a bit of money if I had to.
When I had to do an intense cleanup on a pretty large(4bed) house that's what I did, and it never would have gotten done in a reasonable amount of time otherwise.
posted by emptythought at 11:02 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
When I had to do an intense cleanup on a pretty large(4bed) house that's what I did, and it never would have gotten done in a reasonable amount of time otherwise.
posted by emptythought at 11:02 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
If you have stuff piled on couches and tables and countertops (HORIZONTAL SURFACES WILL BE THE RUIN OF ME), clear it all off. All of it. Even if the solution is to arm-swipe it all into a garbage bag and then stuff the garbage bag under your bed.
Having the surfaces of usable items appear, well, usable makes a room look cleaner instantly. Even if the rest of the place isn't awesome, looking like you're the sort of person who doesn't just stack random shit wherever they please will make you look like a cleaner, neater person overall.
And open the windows NOW to air out the stagnant lived-in smell.
posted by phunniemee at 11:04 AM on May 2, 2013 [4 favorites]
Having the surfaces of usable items appear, well, usable makes a room look cleaner instantly. Even if the rest of the place isn't awesome, looking like you're the sort of person who doesn't just stack random shit wherever they please will make you look like a cleaner, neater person overall.
And open the windows NOW to air out the stagnant lived-in smell.
posted by phunniemee at 11:04 AM on May 2, 2013 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: break time! you guys are awesome. the unfuck your habitat link is the best.
I am making a lot of progress and not panicking so much. I mean, they can't evict us for some dust and a bit of clutter, right? They know we have pets.
I do have a specific question - we have hardwood floors and at some point one of the cats went #2 and it was not noticed right away so there is some residue. Ideas for getting it clean? Or at least making it look clean? I have all the windows open and am using air fresheners, but the place probably still smells like cat to someone who doesn't have them.
posted by desjardins at 11:18 AM on May 2, 2013 [5 favorites]
I am making a lot of progress and not panicking so much. I mean, they can't evict us for some dust and a bit of clutter, right? They know we have pets.
I do have a specific question - we have hardwood floors and at some point one of the cats went #2 and it was not noticed right away so there is some residue. Ideas for getting it clean? Or at least making it look clean? I have all the windows open and am using air fresheners, but the place probably still smells like cat to someone who doesn't have them.
posted by desjardins at 11:18 AM on May 2, 2013 [5 favorites]
Caramelize a bunch of onions immediately before your landlord is supposed to show up. That will go a long way to disguise the cat odor. Plus, then you will have lots of caramelized onions.
posted by something something at 11:20 AM on May 2, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by something something at 11:20 AM on May 2, 2013 [8 favorites]
I do have a specific question - we have hardwood floors and at some point one of the cats went #2 and it was not noticed right away so there is some residue. Ideas for getting it clean?
Assuming it didn't actually stain the wood somehow, I would guess that the immovability of the residue is simply because the feces dried in place. Get a rag or paper towel good and wet, plop it on top of the spot, and leave it for 15–20 minutes. Then see if the spot is removable once it's absorbed some moisture.
posted by Johnny Assay at 11:28 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
Assuming it didn't actually stain the wood somehow, I would guess that the immovability of the residue is simply because the feces dried in place. Get a rag or paper towel good and wet, plop it on top of the spot, and leave it for 15–20 minutes. Then see if the spot is removable once it's absorbed some moisture.
posted by Johnny Assay at 11:28 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
I do have a specific question - we have hardwood floors and at some point one of the cats went #2 and it was not noticed right away so there is some residue. Ideas for getting it clean? Or at least making it look clean?
Hot HOT water to get it up, then mop all floors with something safe for hardwood floors. I would do one full mopping with water as hot as you can get it, then thoroughly clean the mops off and do a second mopping with cleaner.
posted by xingcat at 11:34 AM on May 2, 2013
Hot HOT water to get it up, then mop all floors with something safe for hardwood floors. I would do one full mopping with water as hot as you can get it, then thoroughly clean the mops off and do a second mopping with cleaner.
posted by xingcat at 11:34 AM on May 2, 2013
I do have a specific question - we have hardwood floors and at some point one of the cats went #2 and it was not noticed right away so there is some residue. Ideas for getting it clean? Or at least making it look clean? I have all the windows open and am using air fresheners, but the place probably still smells like cat to someone who doesn't have them.
dried poo is actually not hard to clean, just takes a while. In reality it is just a kind of food residue. I take a paper towel or old rag I can throw out, wet it and press it on the residue and leave it for a while (not too long or you will ruin the hardwood finish)-about 5 minutes between checks. At some point the outer layers will soften and can be removed, so wipe it every 5 minutes or so and also dry the hardwood between checks to make sure it isn't getting damaged. Chlorox wipes are absolutely amazing at this BTW. Also the green scotch scrubbies are useful but don't put much pressure on them or they WILL scratch softer floors.
Put fans in the windows, blowing in on one side of the house and out on the other, or if your house is so equipped, turn on the furnace fan (no heat, just the fan) and all fans blowing out. This will change the air out in the house rapidly and repeatedly taking with it the smells. Also, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, even the hard wood floors. The smells are carried as volatile organic compounds on dust, skin cells and hair in the house. Getting rid of the particles the smell is clinging too is the best way to clear it out. A light misting on the surfaces-from a spray bottle with just water-will also help the vacuum pick up the particles and not just spread them around. Also make sure you are working with a clean, empty vacuum bag or bin for maximum efficiency.
posted by bartonlong at 11:35 AM on May 2, 2013
dried poo is actually not hard to clean, just takes a while. In reality it is just a kind of food residue. I take a paper towel or old rag I can throw out, wet it and press it on the residue and leave it for a while (not too long or you will ruin the hardwood finish)-about 5 minutes between checks. At some point the outer layers will soften and can be removed, so wipe it every 5 minutes or so and also dry the hardwood between checks to make sure it isn't getting damaged. Chlorox wipes are absolutely amazing at this BTW. Also the green scotch scrubbies are useful but don't put much pressure on them or they WILL scratch softer floors.
Put fans in the windows, blowing in on one side of the house and out on the other, or if your house is so equipped, turn on the furnace fan (no heat, just the fan) and all fans blowing out. This will change the air out in the house rapidly and repeatedly taking with it the smells. Also, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, even the hard wood floors. The smells are carried as volatile organic compounds on dust, skin cells and hair in the house. Getting rid of the particles the smell is clinging too is the best way to clear it out. A light misting on the surfaces-from a spray bottle with just water-will also help the vacuum pick up the particles and not just spread them around. Also make sure you are working with a clean, empty vacuum bag or bin for maximum efficiency.
posted by bartonlong at 11:35 AM on May 2, 2013
Best answer: Re: the poop.
My go-to is to take a clorox wipe and press it down over the poosmear and just leave it, periodically nudging the curious dog away from it while shaking my head and saying "look what you've done."
After about 20 minutes, I just get a fresh clorox wipe and go at it with a bit of elbow grease and it comes right up.
posted by phunniemee at 11:39 AM on May 2, 2013
My go-to is to take a clorox wipe and press it down over the poosmear and just leave it, periodically nudging the curious dog away from it while shaking my head and saying "look what you've done."
After about 20 minutes, I just get a fresh clorox wipe and go at it with a bit of elbow grease and it comes right up.
posted by phunniemee at 11:39 AM on May 2, 2013
My cat likes to puke in out of the way places. I'd spray the poop with some kind of cleaning agent then put a paper towel/dishrag soaked in hot water over it. You may have to repeat but it should fix it as long as the floor isn't stained.
I think you're going to be fine! Its amazing how much you can get done cleaning wise when you're properly motivated and if you're running out of time just clean the surface of any tables/counters and throw the stuff under the bed/inside suitcases in boxes that you put in the closet.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 11:47 AM on May 2, 2013
I think you're going to be fine! Its amazing how much you can get done cleaning wise when you're properly motivated and if you're running out of time just clean the surface of any tables/counters and throw the stuff under the bed/inside suitcases in boxes that you put in the closet.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 11:47 AM on May 2, 2013
For residual cat poop: we use Nature's Miracle Orange for this sort of thing. Spray it on, leave it for awhile, then wipe up with a Clorox wipe.
posted by scody at 11:52 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by scody at 11:52 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
As for fragrancing your house, get some of those ready to bake cookies and pop those in the oven. Another option is a frozen apple pie.
This is a lot easier than caramelized onions.
A bit of apple juice or tea with allspice, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg is another great fragrance for your house. Just let it simmer on the stove. Also, now you have spiced tea or spiced cider. YUM!
Either way the house smells awesome and cinnamony AND you have treats!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:55 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
This is a lot easier than caramelized onions.
A bit of apple juice or tea with allspice, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg is another great fragrance for your house. Just let it simmer on the stove. Also, now you have spiced tea or spiced cider. YUM!
Either way the house smells awesome and cinnamony AND you have treats!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:55 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
For making the poop spot on the floor look clean, if you are at the store anyhow just buy a rug if you think it's going to be hard to clean. Use that time on something else.
posted by yohko at 12:08 PM on May 2, 2013
posted by yohko at 12:08 PM on May 2, 2013
I am making a lot of progress and not panicking so much.
that is because you are awesome. You can do this!
When I find unfortunate messes on the floor -- usually not poop, but if you've ever experienced what happens when a toddler drops a banana on the floor and steps on it and it dries, you will know that they could use that substance to armor the Space Shuttle for re-entry -- I spritz them with vinegar and water and then lay a wad of baby wipes over them for 20 minutes or so. Usually that softens it up enough that you can pretty much just wipe it off your floor. If once doesn't do it, do it again.
posted by KathrynT at 12:12 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
that is because you are awesome. You can do this!
When I find unfortunate messes on the floor -- usually not poop, but if you've ever experienced what happens when a toddler drops a banana on the floor and steps on it and it dries, you will know that they could use that substance to armor the Space Shuttle for re-entry -- I spritz them with vinegar and water and then lay a wad of baby wipes over them for 20 minutes or so. Usually that softens it up enough that you can pretty much just wipe it off your floor. If once doesn't do it, do it again.
posted by KathrynT at 12:12 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Haven't scrubbed the shower in a year? Go get Tilex Mold and Mildew remover. They have it at grocery stores, drugstores, wherever. If there are any mildewy grout issues, spray this on and it will be gone in 30 minutes, no scrubbing required.
posted by fozzie_bear at 12:33 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by fozzie_bear at 12:33 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
To get rid any unpleasant smell, burn some coffee grounds in a small pan on the stove. Your nose will detect that smell over anything else unpleasant (learned that from our local PD).
posted by vignettist at 12:52 PM on May 2, 2013
posted by vignettist at 12:52 PM on May 2, 2013
I always brew a pot of strong coffee when worried about smells during an inspection. I think it's a bit less obvious than cookie-baking or what have you. I like the smell of hazelnut coffee personally.
With the poo spot, is it in a place where you could stick a plant over it? (After cleaning as well as you can, of course.) We had a spot in our apartment where the cats would not stop peeing. So I cleaned it good one more time and then bought a silk ivy plant in a big pot and moved it over the spot. Stopped the peeing, because the cats couldn't get to it, plus it looked believable sitting there and hid the spot from visitors.
Or maybe move a piece of furniture over it.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:48 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
With the poo spot, is it in a place where you could stick a plant over it? (After cleaning as well as you can, of course.) We had a spot in our apartment where the cats would not stop peeing. So I cleaned it good one more time and then bought a silk ivy plant in a big pot and moved it over the spot. Stopped the peeing, because the cats couldn't get to it, plus it looked believable sitting there and hid the spot from visitors.
Or maybe move a piece of furniture over it.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:48 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
If you have a car, you can always put excess clutter in garbage bags and store it in the trunk.
posted by theuninvitedguest at 2:58 PM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by theuninvitedguest at 2:58 PM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
Don't organize or put things away. Get some bins or garbage bags, and throw everything in them--dirty clothes, magazines, doodads, even dirty pots and pans. Throw a sheet over the bags and bins so it doesn't look like you're storing trash in the house. When all the mess and clutter is in the bins, you'll be left with floors, furniture and tabletops. It's a breeze to clean floors and surfaces if there's no clutter in the way. Once the floors and surfaces are clean, pick a bin and work on it--e.g., put the dirty clothes in the washer, etc. You won't have time to get through all the bins before the realtor comes, but that doesn't matter, because they won't see what's inside. All they'll see is a clean and oddly barren apt.
posted by Transl3y at 4:14 PM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Transl3y at 4:14 PM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
If you haven't done the dirty dishes yet, just put them in the oven for later.
posted by grog at 5:45 PM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by grog at 5:45 PM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]
Hire a professional! but if you need to do it yourself, obviously start asap and here is a link to a home cleaning checklist that may help: Home Cleaning Checklist. Make sure you have everything you need to clean before you start; this is especially important in your situation since time is of the essence.
posted by cgcsorl at 8:28 AM on May 13, 2013
posted by cgcsorl at 8:28 AM on May 13, 2013
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