What do I really want from myself, anyway?
March 13, 2013 12:25 PM Subscribe
I'm trying to figure out what direction I should guide my future in. Problem is, when I take most personality (*cough* Myers-Briggs *cough*) or skill tests, I can never overcome the bias of what I "should" want, or what my field (the sciences) have conditioned me to. What can I do that can help me figure myself out that isn't sensitive to bias and will basically catch me "off guard" so I can figure out my strengths/weaknesses/potential truthfully?
It can be activities, tests, etc. Sky's the limit.
It can be activities, tests, etc. Sky's the limit.
Response by poster: Thanks PercussivePaul! However, I don't want this thread to turn into a one-reply-wonder. Anyone else have suggestions?
posted by Seeking Direction at 1:15 PM on March 13, 2013
posted by Seeking Direction at 1:15 PM on March 13, 2013
It sounds like you have trouble with the usual tests because you think you know the "right" answers. I would find a set of free tests (like these) and then take it three different times (back to back)
#1 take the test answer give the "right" answers - the ones that would make your parents/teachers/inner critic proud of you.
#2 take it again and give the answers that please your 7-year-old self. Don't worry about truth, much less rightness - just pick what ever your inner kid thinks is the most interesting/fun.
#3 take it again - by now you are figuring out that no cares how you answer it and just go with your gut instinct about yourself.
Compare the three sets of results - you will learn a much from the similarities and difference as you do from the results themselves.
posted by metahawk at 1:58 PM on March 13, 2013 [3 favorites]
#1 take the test answer give the "right" answers - the ones that would make your parents/teachers/inner critic proud of you.
#2 take it again and give the answers that please your 7-year-old self. Don't worry about truth, much less rightness - just pick what ever your inner kid thinks is the most interesting/fun.
#3 take it again - by now you are figuring out that no cares how you answer it and just go with your gut instinct about yourself.
Compare the three sets of results - you will learn a much from the similarities and difference as you do from the results themselves.
posted by metahawk at 1:58 PM on March 13, 2013 [3 favorites]
Best answer: If you were handed 50-million dollars purely for the purposes of self-preservation (can't use the money on anything but yourself) with the only requirement that you hold down a full-time job for 25 years, what would you do?
Would that vocation pay your bills without the 50-million dollars?
posted by irishcoffee at 2:18 PM on March 13, 2013 [2 favorites]
Would that vocation pay your bills without the 50-million dollars?
posted by irishcoffee at 2:18 PM on March 13, 2013 [2 favorites]
Your question made me think of the episode in Friends where Chandler tries to find his vocation and his aptitude test shows he's exactly suited to doing what he already does. Is it that you can't get past the bias, or that you don't like what the results throw up because you feel that they're too obvious? If you keep doing tests and you keep getting the same results, maybe you're actually doing it right? I know that's not answering the actual question though, so I would just ask how fast you're answering the questions ie if you force yourself not to take longer than 3 seconds to answer then you maybe can trust that its more from your gut than something you've over-thought.
posted by billiebee at 2:33 PM on March 13, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by billiebee at 2:33 PM on March 13, 2013 [1 favorite]
I've done all the personality tests and whatnot through work. I know what you mean about inserting biased answers.
The tests that I found most helpful were those that relied on input from people I know. Basically, I filled out a form, weighing myself in different categories. Then I forwarded the same form on to peers that I've worked with for their feedback. The system was kept private so I couldn't see their results. It was very educational to see the difference in perceptions, and it basically exposed my biases. Understanding how you see yourself and how other people see you can be a valuable reality check.
The whole thing was coordinated through my work, so I'm not sure how you could do something similar... just food for thought.
posted by dobie at 3:16 PM on March 13, 2013 [1 favorite]
The tests that I found most helpful were those that relied on input from people I know. Basically, I filled out a form, weighing myself in different categories. Then I forwarded the same form on to peers that I've worked with for their feedback. The system was kept private so I couldn't see their results. It was very educational to see the difference in perceptions, and it basically exposed my biases. Understanding how you see yourself and how other people see you can be a valuable reality check.
The whole thing was coordinated through my work, so I'm not sure how you could do something similar... just food for thought.
posted by dobie at 3:16 PM on March 13, 2013 [1 favorite]
Try an astrologer who focuses on vocational skills as indicated in the birth chart.
I've worked this way with my clients for over thirty years now and most of them have been satisfied happy with the sort of inquiry and insight available.
posted by zenpop at 8:36 PM on March 13, 2013
I've worked this way with my clients for over thirty years now and most of them have been satisfied happy with the sort of inquiry and insight available.
posted by zenpop at 8:36 PM on March 13, 2013
One thing that's helped me with this very question has been making a List of 100.
It's essentially a brainstorming exercise. Ask yourself a question, like "What would I do at the perfect job for me?" Then sit down in front of a word processor, turn on auto-numbering (for convenience), and just type any answers that come to mind until you've got 100. It's OK if they are bizarre or silly answers (like, "Drink really good coffee" or "ROBOT FIGHT" are both perfectly acceptable things to put down). It's OK if you repeat answers.
As the linked article mentions, the first several items on the list will probably be things you feel like you're "supposed" to say. That's okay. Keep going. Some real answers will start to slip out. They may not even make sense to you at the time you write them down. But when you go back and re-read the list, you'll probably start to see some patterns and gain some insights -- and the weirdest answers often turn out to be the most insightful.
posted by snowmentality at 9:40 AM on March 15, 2013
It's essentially a brainstorming exercise. Ask yourself a question, like "What would I do at the perfect job for me?" Then sit down in front of a word processor, turn on auto-numbering (for convenience), and just type any answers that come to mind until you've got 100. It's OK if they are bizarre or silly answers (like, "Drink really good coffee" or "ROBOT FIGHT" are both perfectly acceptable things to put down). It's OK if you repeat answers.
As the linked article mentions, the first several items on the list will probably be things you feel like you're "supposed" to say. That's okay. Keep going. Some real answers will start to slip out. They may not even make sense to you at the time you write them down. But when you go back and re-read the list, you'll probably start to see some patterns and gain some insights -- and the weirdest answers often turn out to be the most insightful.
posted by snowmentality at 9:40 AM on March 15, 2013
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Somehow the act of imagining a future career unfolding in front of me clarified things. Because all paths face some challenges, but some are harder than others, and some felt terrifying, while others felt exciting. This is "what do I want" making itself known. Academia for example can be a brutal path, and while it is rewarding and exciting for some people, I was dreading the next 20 years of it; it was crushing and heavy. The exciting paths tend to map to tasks that I enjoy, the kind of work where days go quickly and the mind feels engaged, but mostly there is an internal lightness, rather than a heaviness. A lightness surrounding both the work, and the idea of doing it for many years, and of what it would feel like to be on that path.
Being in therapy has helped me tremendously through all of this, as well. Also, this talk by Cal Newport about finding happiness by NOT "following your passion" really changed my perspective.
posted by PercussivePaul at 12:40 PM on March 13, 2013 [1 favorite]