Looking for a person to talk about domestic violence

February 19, 2013 8:55 AM

I am looking for someone who has expertise or personal experience with domestic violence. This person should be comfortable with public speaking. Possibly a survivor of domestic abuse either as a victim or a child witness. There are many organizations who deal with education/resources for victims or potential victims. I am looking for someone who includes potential abusERS in their ideal audience and talks about how to recognize controlling behavior in oneself, how to avoid becoming an abuser for people who grew up witnessing abuse, etc. Geographic location does not matter. I was hoping to get a list of resources, experts, organizations.
posted by bq to human relations (9 answers total)

To clarify further, I feel that messaging for potential abusers and survivors of abuse is lacking in the organizations that typically support campus programming about domestic violence. I want to know if there are already people dealing with this aspect of the issue who I simply don't know about already. If not, I may try to develop information/resources myself or encourage others to do so and I'd like to have a list of places to start reading. So basically any resources, information, experts, etc. who deal with reform of abusers, preventing people from becoming abusers, and helping adults who were childhood victims is what I'm looking for. And if there is a specific spokesperson who is the leading expert on this topic then I need to know who that person/people is/are.
posted by bq at 9:36 AM on February 19

There are a lot of these organizations, and good for you for wanting to expand the message.

My Strength is one of the biggest programs for high-school boys.

Men Can Stop Rape is another big organization.

I know you asked for domestic violence and intimate partner violence (IPV) rather than rape, but a lot of these campaigns cover both, and most IPV includes forced sex.

Lundy Bancroft is a social worker, I believe, who runs programs for abusers and is very explicit in saying that his work is to benefit the abused partners and children. His book Why Does He Do That, addressed to women who are being abused by using his knowledge gained from working with abusers, is awesome, and I've heard good things about the rest of his work, also. He'd be a great resource.
posted by jaguar at 9:52 AM on February 19 [2 favorites]

I worked for eight years at this shelter for victims of domestic violence. I haven't worked there in several years now, but I know that they had a several counselors trained to do this kind of public speaking. During my years there they also ran several support groups for abusive partners (male and female), many of which were attended by court order; I believe that with recent significant budget cuts, this program is no longer offered, but I haven't heard that for sure.

It was my experience that yes, the people working in the field of domestic violence understand how important it is to work with abusers as well, but that funding and lack of buy-in from said abusers makes that a challenge.

You might consider calling ABW to talk to someone about your questions. If they can't get you answers immediately, they'll know where to direct you.
posted by SeedStitch at 9:52 AM on February 19

You should get in touch with the Duluth Model Domestic Violence Intervention Program.
posted by Spinneret at 9:54 AM on February 19

The Institute for Violence, Abuse, and Trauma (IVAT) is also a great starting place, especially for finding journals and books (or at least to get names of researchers working on these issues).
posted by jaguar at 10:23 AM on February 19

The Revolution Starts At Home addresses partner abuse in activist communities, and includes essays from folks who have survived domestic abuse.

They work on child sexual abuse, so it's a bit out of your scope, but Generation FIVE takes a community / transformative justice approach to ending abuse, which means part of their work is on reintegrating (former) abusers into the community.
posted by momus_window at 10:58 AM on February 19

The White Ribbon Campaign website has a lot of resources of the type you're seeking. From their "Who We Are" page:

White Ribbon is the world’s largest movement of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls, promote gender equity, healthy relationships and a new vision of masculinity. Starting in 1991, we asked men to wear white ribbons as a pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women and girls. Since then the White Ribbon has spread to over 60 countries around the world. We work to examine the root causes of gender-based violence and create a cultural shift that helps bring us to a future without violence.

Specifically, Jeff Perera (Higher UnLearning) is a Community and Youth Engagement person for the White Ribbon Campaign, and he has a campus presentation called Blueprints for Change that might suit your purposes.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:10 PM on February 19 [1 favorite]

Jackson Katz is another person who has done a lot of research and public speaking on masculinity and violence. He spoke in my community and was very well-received. I have used his Tough Guise documentary when teaching gender violence issues, and students found him engaging and accessible (and these were not instances of preaching to the converted by any means). It's getting a little dated now (1999) so I do wish he'd do an updated version....
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:16 PM on February 19

Lundy Bancroft has a few resources on this on his personal website.

I also think that the companion chapters to "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by Bancroft and Jac Patrissi are really helpful. They are directed towards abusive men and contain exercises for abusers to do in order to help them go through the process of change.
posted by sockermom at 6:59 PM on February 19