Co-Habitation Tips. General Advice and A Teenager is Involved.
February 8, 2013 7:52 AM Subscribe
The long-distance boyfriend and I have decided to get engaged and he's moving in. Yay!
Me: 40's, divorced, sole adult in household for over 11 years, raised three kids, with youngest (14 yo son) still at home. Have friends and a happy life here.
Him: 50's, never married but has a son in his 20's with whom he has a great relationship, has friends and interests he can continue to explore here. (He also has a job ready for him here.)
To anyone who has experience of this type of situation, what advice do you wish you had been given to make this as painless (and ideally, actually fun!) as possible?
posted by kinetic to human relations (13 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
A few details, if they help:
* He's moving in with us (250 miles north) into our 3-BR house as I have an incredibly sweet rent deal because I live in the town where I teach and we get offered special housing deals. I mean, like crazy low rent. So that's why we're not getting our own new place. We also have a lot of room.
* He has spent up to 10 days here at a time and it's been fine. We've both gone out and done our stuff, met other friends, cleaned together, Hurricane Sandy Clean-Upped together, ...no issues. We seem to create a decent seamless flow of cooking, cleaning, laundry.
* My kids really like him. He and the son get along well. My best guess (without knowing anything) is that THIS is where we really need to have advice and guidance. My ex has no involvement in our son's life, so it's not like the BF is going to step on dad's toes, but of course, BF isn't Dad. Yet he will be the only male role model in the kid's life.
* We've already got one room set up to be his room so everyone has their own space.
* I have every intention of keeping special time with my son. I know he'll need that. Hell, I need it too.
* BF and I are planning on taking a course together so we have our own special thing to do.
* We've discussed finances, made a budget and will open a joint account for household expenses.
What other things would help make this easier? We're both thrilled to have found love and we're excited about the rest of our lives together. But we'd both like to avoid any/all of the things that could throw us off-track, basically because we're both clueless about cohabitating (especially with a teenage boy in the house).