Fancy dress suggestions for a Baptist Minister
February 7, 2013 5:19 PM Subscribe
I'm going to a party dressed as a Baptist Minister. I've got a suit, white shirt, and am going to gel my hair down in a slick side parting. But other than a Bible (which I'd feel weird carrying around with me all night), are there any small touches that would make the costume more obvious?
Keep in mind I'm going to be in this costume for about 12 hours, so nothing too cumbersome! Google images has brought up some pretty weird clothes for baptist ministers. I'd prefer something I can bowl in.
Keep in mind I'm going to be in this costume for about 12 hours, so nothing too cumbersome! Google images has brought up some pretty weird clothes for baptist ministers. I'd prefer something I can bowl in.
This may not be what you're going for, but nothing says "Baptist minister" to me like L-0-V-E and H-A-T-E tattoos on your fingers.
(Robert Mitchum scared the bejesus out of me when I saw "The Night of the Hunter" as a kid.)
posted by she's not there at 5:35 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]
(Robert Mitchum scared the bejesus out of me when I saw "The Night of the Hunter" as a kid.)
posted by she's not there at 5:35 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]
My uncle the Southern Baptist Minister used to wear a boutonniere on his suit lapel for Sunday services.
(He also wore about half a bottle of cologne -- I don't recommend that part.)
posted by trip and a half at 5:36 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
(He also wore about half a bottle of cologne -- I don't recommend that part.)
posted by trip and a half at 5:36 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yes, gold. I was just about to say the same thing. Gold tie tack, cufflinks, decent sized lapels on the suit jacket. The thing about conservative clothing is that it doesn't change much, so no matter what decade you are in, it manages to look 10 years out of date.
I'm picturing Lil' Gideon from Gravity Falls. I think you need the hair gelled up in a swoop. Basically you need a touch of Elvis in your costume. The boutonniere is genius.
posted by selfmedicating at 5:39 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'm picturing Lil' Gideon from Gravity Falls. I think you need the hair gelled up in a swoop. Basically you need a touch of Elvis in your costume. The boutonniere is genius.
posted by selfmedicating at 5:39 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: The boutonniere IS genius! So's the gold tie tack. I'll have to engineer it somehow :)
posted by omnigut at 5:44 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by omnigut at 5:44 PM on February 7, 2013
How about a collection plate?
posted by orange swan at 5:51 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by orange swan at 5:51 PM on February 7, 2013
Big honkin' cross, 5 inches high, on a chain around your neck.
posted by megatherium at 5:52 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by megatherium at 5:52 PM on February 7, 2013
My father and grandfather are both Southern Baptist pastors. Sorry to say that my father's sense of fashion is pretty tasteful and "classic" as far as that goes. He doesn't look outré in any way.
But I can send you a picture of my grandfather, if you want to see an real-life example of someone who's really walked that walked for decades. His hair may be instructive. But no making fun of my granddaddy, because he is the greatest!
I will say this: My dad and granddaddy always have really nice ties. And my grandfather seems to have a fair number of gray suits. And boutonnieres, no question. That's a must.
posted by Coatlicue at 5:56 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
But I can send you a picture of my grandfather, if you want to see an real-life example of someone who's really walked that walked for decades. His hair may be instructive. But no making fun of my granddaddy, because he is the greatest!
I will say this: My dad and granddaddy always have really nice ties. And my grandfather seems to have a fair number of gray suits. And boutonnieres, no question. That's a must.
posted by Coatlicue at 5:56 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
Oh also, Transitions lenses, or lenses with a tint. Seems a mainstay among the older pastors from where my dad's family comes from.
posted by Coatlicue at 6:00 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Coatlicue at 6:00 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
I would think very subtle eye makeup. Either very very light eye liner, or I've heard there's a new lash-tint mascara-type thing that's almost like clear mascara.
I just picture very penetrating, charismatic eyes.
posted by jaguar at 6:02 PM on February 7, 2013
I just picture very penetrating, charismatic eyes.
posted by jaguar at 6:02 PM on February 7, 2013
I know you said you didn't want to carry around a bible, but you might consider a "shirt pocket" size New Testament Bible (e.g, $7.99, $4.99, $4.35, etc.). It won't be cumbersome. You can pull it out and quote from it at opportune times.
posted by RichardP at 6:07 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by RichardP at 6:07 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
The Baptist ministers of my youth (my grandfather was a preacher; not a minister, he didn't cotton to them) scared the crap out of me because they were LOUD and CRAZY and LOUD.
I've been to a lot of Baptist funerals and the thing that sticks out to me most is how the ministers all talk about the fire and brimstone of hell and how if you don't have Jesus in your heart, you will experience hell first hand.
So make sure you talk a lot about fire and brimstone and be LOUD about it.
posted by cooker girl at 6:09 PM on February 7, 2013
I've been to a lot of Baptist funerals and the thing that sticks out to me most is how the ministers all talk about the fire and brimstone of hell and how if you don't have Jesus in your heart, you will experience hell first hand.
So make sure you talk a lot about fire and brimstone and be LOUD about it.
posted by cooker girl at 6:09 PM on February 7, 2013
Shortsleeved white shirt. Tie.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:11 PM on February 7, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:11 PM on February 7, 2013 [5 favorites]
Yes, the shirt needs to be short-sleeved.
posted by dawkins_7 at 6:15 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by dawkins_7 at 6:15 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
Pocket tracts to hand out to your friends. A handkerchief to wipe your brow with when you perspire. An American flag pin for your lapel, maybe?
posted by Mimzy at 6:46 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Mimzy at 6:46 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
Short-sleeved white shirt and tie are going to make you look like a Mormon missionary.
Add a double-breasted jacket to a lot of the suggestions above.
posted by BurntHombre at 6:51 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
Add a double-breasted jacket to a lot of the suggestions above.
posted by BurntHombre at 6:51 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Aww, y'all are the greatest. Thankfully I'm already LOUD and CRAZY and LOUD, but I'll definitely need help in having charismatic, piercing eyes. I might have to go the way of tinted glasses. A pocket bible (with verses marked for quoting), L-O-V-E and H-A-T-E tattoos, a grey suit (the only suit I own), a handkerchief, a boutonniere and... actually, what are "pocket tracts"?
This is going to be great. I'll post a photo when I'm all done up. Thanks!
posted by omnigut at 6:59 PM on February 7, 2013
This is going to be great. I'll post a photo when I'm all done up. Thanks!
posted by omnigut at 6:59 PM on February 7, 2013
Pocket tracts- tiny little pamphlets with the gospel message inside. Definitely worth having for the costume!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:07 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:07 PM on February 7, 2013
Refer to everyone as "beloveds" or "brothers and sisters." The intense, feverish eyes also go a long way, especially if you earnestly clasp the hands of whoever you're speaking with. Also, if anyone pulls out money, reach out and claim 10% as a tithe. -Former Southern Baptist.
posted by mochapickle at 7:09 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by mochapickle at 7:09 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
No.....it's HOT in the South....as someone who has attended Camp Meeting in August since about 1980.... short sleeves, slicked hair, sweaty and a tie. And I love the collection plate idea.... OR.... you can buy little communion cups to pass out.....some even come pre filled with a wafer on the top.
posted by pearlybob at 7:23 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by pearlybob at 7:23 PM on February 7, 2013
Not sure how handy/crafty you are, but if there's any way you could rig up a wearable pulpit (sort of the way Rob Cockerham designed this wearable table, but with just a podium? so less bulk), that would really seal the deal.
posted by Charity Garfein at 7:31 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Charity Garfein at 7:31 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
Brochure for a gay cruise in your back pocket? Depends on the crowd, perhaps.
posted by padraigin at 7:39 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by padraigin at 7:39 PM on February 7, 2013
If you're doing the preacher man, it's all about the act. See here.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:11 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:11 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
I am reminded of this recent thread regarding another religiously themed costume and wonder what you are seeking to accomplish. I dont know if it is the best taste to use a religious book or fake communion bread as a party prop.
My suggestion? MLK Jr. was a Baptist minister. Go as him.
posted by Tanizaki at 9:39 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
My suggestion? MLK Jr. was a Baptist minister. Go as him.
posted by Tanizaki at 9:39 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
I don't see how you can make your hair too big, after all, "The Bigger the Hair, The Closer to God."
posted by Marky at 11:08 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by Marky at 11:08 PM on February 7, 2013
Response by poster: About the leaflets for the party —
I used to collect what I now know as "pocket tracts". They're often handed out on the NYC subway. I only used to keep the ones that felt more creative — my favourite was a pamphlet that compared being gay to eating too much chocolate. And I always enjoyed the artistry that went into the black-and-white illustrated depictions of hell.
If it sounds like I'm mocking or belittling the Christian religion, I really mean no disrespect. I'm an avid "comparative religions" hobbyist (I once made a spreadsheet of about 1,400 gods, trying to find common patterns on specific themes) and recently did a religious studies GCSE exam for fun (my bestie is an RS teacher at a Christian school). I have a laminated poster of various gods on my office wall (again, showing themes in physical descriptions).
I very much enjoy reading the pamphlets, and would like a couple in my pocket for the party. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any that I would consider to be creative. There are many paid tracts out there, but very few are in black and white, and even fewer actually let you see both sides of the pamphlet. For example...
This page has a wonderful one called "Escape the Trap", but that's a 20 page booklet (scroll down). This pamphlet refers to "Militant homosexuality (and feminist lesbianism)", a fantastically charged phrase, but there are no images.
I don't suppose anyone knows of a Christian site which provides tracts for free download? It seems like an obvious thing for evangelists to offer, making it easy for others to spread the word.
posted by omnigut at 1:23 AM on February 8, 2013
I used to collect what I now know as "pocket tracts". They're often handed out on the NYC subway. I only used to keep the ones that felt more creative — my favourite was a pamphlet that compared being gay to eating too much chocolate. And I always enjoyed the artistry that went into the black-and-white illustrated depictions of hell.
If it sounds like I'm mocking or belittling the Christian religion, I really mean no disrespect. I'm an avid "comparative religions" hobbyist (I once made a spreadsheet of about 1,400 gods, trying to find common patterns on specific themes) and recently did a religious studies GCSE exam for fun (my bestie is an RS teacher at a Christian school). I have a laminated poster of various gods on my office wall (again, showing themes in physical descriptions).
I very much enjoy reading the pamphlets, and would like a couple in my pocket for the party. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any that I would consider to be creative. There are many paid tracts out there, but very few are in black and white, and even fewer actually let you see both sides of the pamphlet. For example...
This page has a wonderful one called "Escape the Trap", but that's a 20 page booklet (scroll down). This pamphlet refers to "Militant homosexuality (and feminist lesbianism)", a fantastically charged phrase, but there are no images.
I don't suppose anyone knows of a Christian site which provides tracts for free download? It seems like an obvious thing for evangelists to offer, making it easy for others to spread the word.
posted by omnigut at 1:23 AM on February 8, 2013
Part of the effect is the duality in their presentation. The preachers I knew conveyed an odd or nice presentation which then conflicted with their sermon, about 10 minutes in, when the hell fire and brimstone section began... and lasted for 50 to 110 minutes. The first part has been well covered (gray suits, transitions lens, and sorry but, overweight). I'm less sure of how to pull off the second half without being a drag. You'd almost have to use it as a gag when you enter, but not long after.
posted by jwells at 4:57 AM on February 8, 2013
posted by jwells at 4:57 AM on February 8, 2013
While they are not Baptist, you may be interested in Chick tracts. They are black and white, fully illustrated, free, and contain really over the top christian you're-going-to-hell arguments. If you are going to mock a religious text, this is not a bad place to start.
posted by steinwald at 6:56 AM on February 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by steinwald at 6:56 AM on February 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Hey, been to your party yet? I want to see your pictures!
posted by Coatlicue at 9:43 AM on February 9, 2013
posted by Coatlicue at 9:43 AM on February 9, 2013
Response by poster: The party is tomorrow. I'll definitely post what I come up with!
posted by omnigut at 4:37 AM on February 14, 2013
posted by omnigut at 4:37 AM on February 14, 2013
Response by poster: Okay, thanks everyone for some stunning suggestions. I'm posting here two links, one to what I normally look like, and one to the outfit. My own dear brother walked past me without recognising me at the bar.
I told the hairdresser "the bigger the hair, the closer to God". Worked a treat.
What you can't see in the photo is the L-O-V-E H-A-T-E tattoos on my knuckles, my little prayer book or my "homosexuality and evolution" tracts. The crucifix seems to have slipped off my tie a little (it was front-and-center most of the night). The button was a present from a friend, and says "Jesus Loves your Fetus" on it, surrounded by little red hearts. Oh, and I wasn't wearing those sunglasses, I was wearing Lennon-like ones. I don't even remember having those glasses! (That photo was taken at around 4 a.m.).
Good times :)
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/15137136/photo-3.JPG (my outfit)
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/15137136/photo-4.JPG (nsfw photo of my cake)
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/15137136/normal%20nick.jpg (what I normally look like)
Thanks for all the help!
posted by omnigut at 5:22 AM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I told the hairdresser "the bigger the hair, the closer to God". Worked a treat.
What you can't see in the photo is the L-O-V-E H-A-T-E tattoos on my knuckles, my little prayer book or my "homosexuality and evolution" tracts. The crucifix seems to have slipped off my tie a little (it was front-and-center most of the night). The button was a present from a friend, and says "Jesus Loves your Fetus" on it, surrounded by little red hearts. Oh, and I wasn't wearing those sunglasses, I was wearing Lennon-like ones. I don't even remember having those glasses! (That photo was taken at around 4 a.m.).
Good times :)
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/15137136/photo-3.JPG (my outfit)
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/15137136/photo-4.JPG (nsfw photo of my cake)
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/15137136/normal%20nick.jpg (what I normally look like)
Thanks for all the help!
posted by omnigut at 5:22 AM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by just asking at 5:23 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]