What is your perspective on the "ideal" child custody arrangements?
February 7, 2013 11:38 AM Subscribe
While recognizing that I'd like your advice on the principles and best practices of a shared child custody agreement.
I currently share both joint and physical custody with my daughter's mother, and things are going just fine, but wondering if you know of any resources (online, written, or your own experiences) to help me consider what is best for my daughter now and in the future, and maybe it can serve as a general resource for other parents' looking to establish positive custody agreements.
posted by RajahKing to Human Relations (21 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Details include: my daughter spends (approximately) equal time with me (and my partner and her son) and with her mother. We live about a mile apart / 5 minute drive, and my daughter is in elementary school a walk from my home. Because of the starting time of our respective jobs, I always take my daughter to school in the mornings, and mom picks her up three of five afternoons, and we split weekends. Without specifically telling you her schedule, this does result in her seeing both of us for at least an hour a day, just about every day. She gets along well with both me and her mother; she has some issues with her stepmom and stepbrother. I also worry sometimes she doesn't get enough sleep (I pick her up pretty early for school). But she does well in school, has a good social life - a good kid.
So in general, this arrangement works. But I'm curious for your advice: what should we consider in a child custody situation like this, to make it really best for her... does having her "come and go" so much have a negative impact? I worry she sometimes feels like she's always traveling in between homes. But I also see great value in having both of us in her daily life. I worry that the understandable challenges in her relationship with the step-fam are exacerbated by this - always feeling like she's coming and going. But I feel like that would be exacerbated if she just "visited" in more solid chunks.
So again, there's no crisis here; I just want some resources and perspectives. Much appreciated!