Suddenly my wife wants me to leave without her and to leave our son in her custody. Can she do this?
November 27, 2010 11:51 AM Subscribe
We are visiting my wife's parents in another state. Suddenly my wife wants me to leave without her and to leave our son in her custody. Can she do this?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (25 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Please read the entire question if you have any advice. I am already aware I will need a lawyer as soon as possible.
My wife and I have been married for four years and have a three-year-old son. My wife does not work and while I was previously working for an employer, I have also stopped for working for about the past year or so. I have been trying to earn income freelancing, but it has not been monetarily successful.
Recently, we have started to run out of money and decided to move out of our apartment. Our plan was to move in with my parents temporarily until we figured things out.
We decided to travel out of state to visit my wife's parents. After staying a few weeks and our departure date came, we decided to extend our trip for an additional few weeks in order to spend Thanksgiving with my wife's parents.
During the past few weeks, my wife has said that she would like to move down here. So I have started looking for work in this area to try to find a way to support us and we wouldn't have to continue staying with her parents.
Tonight, after Thanksgiving, my wife told me that she doesn't think that I should stay here. She has said that she thinks that we should get a divorce and that I should go home alone without her or our son. She thinks that our son should stay with her until we have divorced and figured out the custody arrangement.
I don't want to separate. I love my wife and our family. However, she seems to be determined in her decision.
If I am to leave now and return home, I would stay with my parents while figuring this all out, as originally planned, with the obvious exception of my wife no longer being with me.
However, I feel that since this is my wife's decision to do this, that our son should stay with me until we figure out the custody arrangement. My wife refuses to consider this as a possibility and insists that he must stay with her. She says that she will die without him.
My wife's family is well-to-do and she has considerable resources here. For me to stay here in order to be near my son while we figure this out will be significantly difficult for me. I feel that I have been somewhat deceived and do not trust my wife right now. I am concerned that I should not leave here without our son, but my wife has said that she will do anything in her power to prevent me from taking our son back with me.
My wife would be welcome to return with me and our son, but she is not interested in doing that.
It is clear that I will need to hire a lawyer as soon as possible to help me understand the situation and defend my rights.
I am looking for advice outside of recommending that I get a lawyer. I am already aware that I need to do that right away.
I need help figuring out how I should view this situation. Am I wrong to ask that my son stay with me in this situation? Is my wife being reasonable?
Also, should I be looking to hire a lawyer here or in the state that we came from and have been living in before coming here?
The first thing I'll ask my lawyer is if my wife can do this to me? If anyone has any thoughts about that, I'd love to hear them. It might help me understand the situation better before talking to a lawyer. I won't be able to talk to a lawyer until tomorrow at the earliest (it's 3 AM here).
If you think you can help me in any way, but need more information, please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org