How do I stop giving this high school bully space in my head?
January 15, 2013 5:32 AM Subscribe
I want to forget about this kid, but he keeps popping up in my head. How do I get over him?
posted by handknittedsock to Human Relations (20 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
As I'm sure is true for most people, high school was a difficult time for me; I struggled with insecurity and normal teenage angst, and was very happy to graduate and leave. While I had various run-ins with plenty of students, there was one boy in my year who gave me a particularly hard time. His bullying was compounded by the fact that we were in intense academic competition with each other, and I also harboured a bit of a crush on him. He would often alternate between being really horrible to me and then being weirdly nice and friendly; if I let my guard down to his friendly advances, he would then turn around and mock me mercilessly for thinking that he actually liked me. Our senior year, he asked me to the prom, which I said "no" to (mostly because I was more interested in other boys, but also because I was worried it would end up like some crazy Carrie situation).
We're both now 10+ years out of HS, have moved away, and I'm married, but I still regularly have dreams about this kid, and end up spending days afterward thinking about what went down in the past. I really would love to just forget he ever existed and move on with my life, but for some reason, I keep finding space in my head to obsess over how shitty he was to me.
What are some effective ways of not allowing thoughts of him to linger in my brain, and ultimately get over him? I know I can't expect to never think about him again, but something to prevent me falling into a shame spiral that's difficult to escape from would be really helpful right now.