Help me try to stop this bullying behavior!
July 24, 2010 9:12 AM   Subscribe

How to stop a workplace bully and repair matters? [with added foreigner in China complications]

I work at an English language magazine in Beijing. I am on the marketing side and as a Chinese-American, I am the only foreigner in my department. The bully in question is a white American and the head of the editorial department. (I mention the matters of race and nationality because it is actually relevant to the power dynamic in this question.)

I have been here for two months. In this short time, I have seen the bully blow up twice, particularly directed at the marketing department and at our Chinese co-workers. He takes any suggestions as a personal attack and if it happens to be from a Chinese person in the marketing department, his attacks often include comments on their English level. The power dynamic, in short, often has uncomfortable colonial overtones where it is a white foreigner dictating what the natives should be doing.

His Mandarin is very basic, so that undoubtedly has had a huge effect.

Here are some examples:

There was a previous incident that preceded my arrival to the company where the bully literally screamed at other female coworkers and called them "bitch" and other names. One incident that I witnessed was between this person and other Chinese coworkers where it deteriorated into him saying in a really nasty tone that in the future that their English level was so bad that all communications needed to go through a translator.

The most recent blow-up was on Friday morning, during a company wide meeting. The editorial department head, frustrated over problems that the magazine faces, blew up again, called the entire marketing department a waste of the company's time and resources (went on in this extremely aggressive vein for about 10 minutes), This is the third time that something like this has happened, only this time it was public and in front of the top people at the company.

The concept of face here is extremely important. Because of this blow-up, the head of marketing lost considerable face to the point where the publisher, another Chinese man, actually refused to let him speak in his own defense by saying that we didn't have enough time in the meeting. Unfortunately, the publisher places a lot of stock in what the editorial head says precisely because he, the publisher, is not a native English speaker himself, and later basically dismissed our own outrage over this kind of treatment.

So now we have this: the entire marketing department, including myself, wants to quit and most likely will do so once we find other jobs. The head of marketing is now in the uncomfortable position where he has essentially been rendered powerless in the position. Editorial and marketing, at the lower levels, are just fine, but no one wants to work in this kind of environment where we are screamed at by someone who will not be held accountable for his behavior. And perhaps saddest of all, my Chinese coworkers are made to feel uncomfortable about being Chinese in what is, in the end, a Chinese company (this was actually expressed by the marketing director in our post-trauma lunch).

Because of my somewhat unique position at this company, in the marketing department as a native English speaker but also being Chinese and someone who speaks Mandarin to a certain degree, I want to take the initiative in trying to repair matters. Although I find this person's behavior to be unprofessional and immature in the extreme, to a certain extent I can understand how it is motivated by insecurity, culture shock and language barriers. I have invited him to have lunch, one-on-one, to speak his point of view. But I would also like to know how I can let him know how his behavior is unacceptable in such a way that will minimize defensive and aggressive behavior from his part and what other actions that I can take.

I want to point out here that going to human resources is not an option here; human resources simply does not operate in the same way that it would in the US. It is especially complicated when this kind of behavior really goes against the Chinese workplace culture where politeness and consensus are key and when the top people seem willing to let this kind of behavior slide because of the white foreigner/Chinese power dynamic.

Thank you for reading this, I know that it is long and complicated.
posted by so much modern time to Human Relations (8 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
I don't know dick about China, but I am a little worried for you, because if there's anything the internet has taught me, it's that it's difficult to correct a case of raging asshole through mere politeness.

It seems to me that your question rests on a couple premises: One, that this guy is unaware of the effect of his behavior, due to the culture clash, and Two, that being made aware, he will wish to correct this. I fear that if this gentleman is just your basic self-centered, abbrasive dick, he will simply take your information about the humiliation he put the marketing guy through and the undue deference his bosses may be extending to him and think, "Excellent, I sure took that jerk in Marketing down a peg, maybe now he'll do what I want, and whatever else happens, I can be sure that the bosses will take my side. Must file that tidbit away for future use."

Perhaps your generous instincts are correct, and it is mere ignorance which is driving this, and gentle correction/edification a proper remedy. But if instead it's just that he's a giant ass, then I think you will need to either show him, using quite small words, how his behavior will cause direct harm to him, or show him that you/others in the company can make life difficult for him if he continues to do this. If neither or those things is possible, than this may be an un-fixable-situation, short of getting him fired. But that's a whole different AskMe.
posted by Diablevert at 10:06 AM on July 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


This guy is a jerk in any language, in any dynamic, anywhere in the world. For him to be in another country, talking to its citizens like that is outrageous.

Is the magazine doing well financially? If so, there might not be anything you can do right now. But if not, if good workers are quitting because they are mistreated, then eventually the magazine's performance will erode. Can you point this out to someone - (perhaps even the evil white American) - that the brain drain will eventually lead to a problem for the whole company?
posted by clarkstonian at 10:37 AM on July 24, 2010


Reading over your situation's actually making me really, really keyboard-mashy and teeth-gnashy, so this might not be the most coherent answer. (Or, you know. Rational. Please take with grain of salt.)

From my experience with this sort of crapbucket, if you're going to try and talk some sense into him you're going to have to be really careful. I was in a similar situation to you once, and after 'the talk' things got worse. The bully switched his antagonism from race to nationality, and then considered me an ally because we shared the same nationality and because he considered me to be a good Asian - the 'model minority' idea. And then he considered himself a better person, because of course he was talking and interacting with me, so OF COURSE he couldn't be a RACIST, good god.

The best way would be to emphasise how badly this makes him look, but it sounds like at this point he already knows that no one's really going to censor his behaviour, and there's no real chance of having his name being professionally blacklisted. It also sounds like he's not going to care if this makes him look bad or not - he could always go back to the US and wave away any references to unprofessional behavior in China by saying something along the lines of, 'oh, well, you know, those Chinese, they didn't understand American business'.

I will say that this doesn't sound like 'insecurity'. If he's systematically focusing on belittling English competency among your employees, it's because he wants to make them feel as small and as incompetent as possible. You're working at an English magazine - chances are all the employees there already are considered to have more fluency in English than the average Chinese citizen, and chances also are that they've worked hard for that fluency. To have that mocked when they make suggestions to him - well, it sounds like he's taking the cheap shot to negate all that hard work.

I realise that for the company, it might feel prestigious to have a white American working for them; that being said, perhaps if you suggested to the higher-ups and other employees that having him here demeaning other employees is letting the company lose face - what does it say to the business community, having a Chinese company let a single American speak down to it's employees, when the employees are clearly uncomfortable and unhappy? What would the company do if it were a single Chinese employee making the rest of the employees uncomfortable? Why should this American have preferential treatment? Etc. If enough of the rank-and-file start asking these questions, sooner or later the higher-ups are going to have to do something, even if it's nothing, and if that's the case, this company ain't worth any more of your effort.

sorry for length. as I said: keyboard-mashy.
posted by zennish at 11:18 AM on July 24, 2010


Is this the English-language magazine that I think it is? If so, the historically high turnover rates for foreign employees may well mean that the guy will be out before too much longer anyway. Also if so, the new rules for marketing employees' commissions may well mean that there are better deals elsewhere for employees.

How long has this guy been in China? It sounds like he may have been here long enough to fall into the expatriate "I am God and the locals are no good at anything" mindset, in which case I don't know how much you can really do to rein him in. On the other hand, if he's relatively new, you might be able to do him a favor by filling him in on the fact that prima-donna behavior does not go over well here, not even when it's a foreigner. It would probably be best to frame this in a "hey, what can you do" sort of manner -- you don't make the rules; you understand that it can be frustrating dealing with a language barrier; you've had disagreements with employees in the past and had to find ways of resolving them that seemed irritatingly circular compared to American norms, etc. etc. etc.

Good luck. Sounds like this guy is the kind of cockstain that makes things harder for the rest of gringo expatria.
posted by bokane at 1:30 PM on July 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


This might be the time to employ the old trick of getting rid of someone in your workplace by putting his name and qualifications and contact info into the hands of as many head-hunters as you can find. Yeah, it'll sting to know that he's off and onto some new job at more money or whatever, and he's thinking he's superman, but fact is that he's then out of your hair, and he's no longer your problem.

Forget trying to change this bag of pus, it's not gonna happen; nothing will cause him to change short of life stepping in and breaking his shoes. That *might* come about a bit faster because of something you say but it seems to me that you're putting yourself in harms way and there's no need for you to do so; yeah, the company is suffering, but that's not your job, that's the job of the person who is letting this clown continue to jump up and down and holler at the locals.

Which leads to this: The atmosphere at that workplace is toxic, and it's not because of the screamer/ranter/raver -- that's a symptom, not the cause. It's toxic because of the person who wants this type of behavior for some reason, wants it and fosters it. While you're sending out the screamers info to head-hunters, include your own, also, and get on out of that nut-house. Or just cut to the chase, forget sending out any contact info other than your own, wave all the drama and trauma goodbye, walk smiling into a better job, a brighter day.
posted by dancestoblue at 2:27 PM on July 24, 2010


I'm sorry that you're going through this. It's terrible having to go through this racist, oppressive, colonial bullshit.

So basically, the magazine is facing problems, the white american is taking it out on all the workers, and the publisher supports what the white american is doing. My guess is that the publisher is doing this because he had a hand in hiring the white american, so to talk to the bully about the fucked up behaviour would affect his own face. Also, the magazine is facing problems. Maybe the publisher brought in the white american to try to solve those problems, but it's making things worse.

I respect that you want to talk to the white american one-on-one and try to help him understand/make him see how fucked up he is. I don't think it's going to work, for reasons that other people have stated. He's not going to change just because you tell him, "People really don't appreciate you blowing up at them and it's affecting their productivity" because he'll say in response "These Chinese people are hopeless; they can't speak English; besides, the publisher is on my side" etc. I doubt he's going to care what you think, not because of what you say, but because of the position of power he is in. He's white, thinks he's better than everyone, has a huge attitude of entitlement, and he has the support of the publisher. You're not going to be able to reason and rationalize with that. Furthermore, this is bigger than you. The magazine is facing problems - which has nothing to do with you and your co-workers. That kind of problem is the responsibility of the publisher's. You don't know what kinds of conversations are going on behind closed doors and what the dynamic is.

Sorry for the pessimism. But maybe these considerations will help you and your co-workers have more motivation to leave and find better jobs. In my idealized fantasy of your situation, I'd love to see all of you just walk out one day, at the same time - then they'll feel the consequences of treating their staff like shit, and it's just one more nail in the coffin of a struggling magazine anyway. I understand that this may not be possible; that people need the money from this job.

Other things I can think of, other than organizing a collective walk-out, is: are there any worker's rights organizations in your area that can give you some advice on what actions to take? I like the ideas in zennish's last paragraph: could you all have a meeting with the top heads and send the message of: "If the situation does not improve with the white american, we're doing x. Also, we know the magazine is struggling. We don't want that to happen. These are our suggestions on what to do. #1: deal with the white american." Of course the risk of worker organizing is getting fired, or just not being listened to. So you guys have to figure out what you have to lose.
posted by foxjacket at 5:34 PM on July 24, 2010


+1 for Bokane. Also, it's not too hard to narrow the lists of where you work from your post, so I'd be more careful going forward.

What hasn't been mentioned, is that if the company has paid to relocate/bring this westerner to China, they will be very reticent to eat the costs of dismissing him and sending him home early. That is a major cost, possibly more than the cost of replacing an entire local staff.

Many large companies have this sort of carousel of western middle/upper management that pass through to "do their 2 years" in China. Much like bureaucracy and elected officials, the local staff preceded the laowai and they'll be there when they move on. In that sense, you may have luck galvanizing the local staff and deal with the guy as a group, even if that means simply acknowledging that he's a douche bag and you all have to deal with his douchebaggery.

I do like the 'sign him up for headhunters' tactic.

What you don't want to do is try to cover for this guy with your Chinese coworkers under the guise of 'cultural differences'. This ain't culture friction, this guy's a dick.
posted by markovitch at 9:25 PM on July 24, 2010


quite a complex situation, but not all too uncommon here. I'm a little bit disturbed that the insinuations of racism and what looks like a fair amount of conjecture here that this guy derives some sense of superiority because of his race, begins to look like a bit of racism in and of itself.

Certainly this guy is unprofessional and rude. There's no reason to ever be calling anyone the epithet in question. his uncontrolled temper and lack of self-control in and of itself don't mean anything in terms of why he does this nor does this mean he's racist at all. To presume so begins to look smack of racism.

To the original poster: it definitely isn't hard to figure out where you work. if I were to play the devil's advocate here I would ask you the following:
why is it that you find it your duty to intervene? Would you do the same thing if the staff weren't Chinese? you mentioned your own race, does this have anything to do with it?

The Karpman drama triangle comes to mind: do you feel the need to be a rescuer? ""Rescuers" play the role more because they are driven to be a rescuer than because the victim needs their involvement, as in the case of a fireman/rescuer." What does this say about how you view the Chinese as "in need of rescuing"? I think sometime the pendulum swings back that way with foreigners who have been here a while. It's a hard balance. I found that many times the Chinese are quite astute at taking care of their own. organizing a rebellion might help you feel better, but as one poster said it might be here for the long term, and therefore they might have to bear out the consequences. For them, the path of least resistance might be the easiest at this point. It might give different decision from our point of reference on our values map, but they have the right to make that decision for themselves.

I think if you can answer those questions it will guide you a bit more.

Now for some opinion:
1)
if you think this doesn't happen at many, many Chinese companies, you are sadly mistaken. I have seen Chinese managers and Chinese bosses go ballistic and treat their staff in the most Despicable manner.

2)
for whatever reason, it is an English-speaking environment at an English-speaking magazine. Speaking English with a high degree of fluency is a reasonable expectation. In HR speak it's what we would call a bona fide occupational requirement. the manner in which he expresses his frustration is not acceptable at all. but just because he expresses his disappointment, doesn't make him racist nor unreasonable in my opinion. if the job requirement is to speak English he has every right to require proficient English. Of course, being here in Beijing and requiring the same level as a native speaker probably wouldn't be the most reasonable expectation and it would be a little bit obtuse if somebody to come here and think it would be that way.

3)
if this is one of the magazines I know the workers will be making a sizable amount over the median income. this is particularly true if they can't speak English.

Combined number two and number three. English speakers here often make a sizable amount more for their language abilities. From a completely nonscientific average I would say that it starts at about two times the average salary of an office worker and goes up from there. if that were the case he might have some high expectations for them as well. Imagine if you were paid twice the median income just for speaking Chinese? I'll stop here from turning into some economics discussion, but needless to say in terms of relative salary it's hard to replicate what English speakers in Beijing make when compared with other countries.

number 1 certainly isn't confined to China. Although it doesn't happen in the West as much, and high pressure areas it certainly exists. some of my classmates went to work in investment banking or in trading--you can't imagine what some of them have been put under and abuse they have endured. No one should be put under those conditions, but it often happens in the most competitive jobs. and people put up with it. There's an implied trade-off-- until they get so sick of it that they leave.

The ant farms on the outskirts of Beijing are filled with young graduates that are happy to take jobs four 1400 RMB--that is part of the problem. the job market here is still competitive and many of the locals are aware that. If you wanted to help your colleagues, maybe you could help them realize their sense of self-worth if you think it's too low and introduce them to other opportunities (rather than this guy)--or and I know I will take heat for this-- volunteer to help improve their English! Man would it take it out of this guy--it would take away his ammunition and help them in the job market long-run.

so my advice is this: evaluate why you feel you need to interfere, be careful about involving the Chinese, because if you pressure them to do so you are really putting yourself above them and trying to make them accept your way of doing things also. evaluate his position, don't assume that this is some sense of superiority based on race. Focus on the inappropriate behaviors, for example, "I find it inappropriate for a supervisor to call anyone a bitch in my presence. I don't want to work in an environment like this." This way you can address the inappropriate behavior without leveling any accusations of racism nor speaking for your colleagues. In the end, it's really you that is having trouble bearing this out, you definitely have a right to say something on your own behalf.
posted by chinabound at 5:14 AM on December 14, 2010


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