I'm ugly right now. What can I do?
January 14, 2013 8:58 PM Subscribe
I have a bad (short and growing out) haircut, and I've been having the worst acne breakout of my life for the past 5 months. I feel very unattractive. I'm now under the care of a great dermatologist, and I'm searching for a new stylist. In the meantime, I don't feel like myself. How can I get back on track?
posted by your mom's a sock puppet to grab bag (25 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I've been doing yoga, work is really great, and school has started for me, which means I'm definitely busy doing loads of positive things. However, every social situation brings me dread. I've nearly perfected covering up my acne about as much as one can, but it's never perfect (you can essentially tell that I'm covering up acne) and I worry that I'm just making the acne worse by always covering it. Not to mention that I'm trying to grow out my hair and cut it as little as possible, but it looks like utter crap without heat styling and I just want my hair to go back to being pretty and healthy again. I don't feel like myself getting dressed, always worried about looking too masculine or like I either have makeup piled on or that my face is just so horrifying and disgusting.
And of course, I can't imagine wanting to be with me. I feel guilty because I feel unattractive and have no doubt that my husband isn't loving what's going on either. And I don't dare talk about how unattractive I feel, not because we don't communicate (we do!), but because I honestly can't believe that he would disagree. Yes, he knows I'm struggling with the acne and the hair, but I can't make him feel guilty for not acting like I'm super sexy right now.
For now, my strategy is to focus on kicking ass at work, school and yoga. However, even when I'm talking to one of my colleagues or friends, I can't help but feel like they are just staring at my flaws and not taking me seriously (not that I have to be attractive to be taken seriously, but that I just feel like I must look gross and distracting). I'd love to just not exist to my friends and coworkers until it all gets "better", but that's not an option. And to be honest, I'm not the hottest chick to begin with, but as a late-twenties woman, I was actually finally pretty happy with the way I looked... six months ago. But now, it's all shit. My whole perception of myself and my self-esteem is warped and broken.
My question(s): how can I focus away from this? I need a "nose to the grindstone" solution for this, but I just don't see one. (Though, thus far it's been to try my best to be attractive in every other way I can.) Do I need tough love? Should I find a therapist? Have you been through this and has it gotten better? Do you have practical solutions for dealing with awkward hair and/or acne? I'll take anything. Please help.