He likes me. He likes me not. Solutions?
December 23, 2012 4:47 PM Subscribe
Unrequited crush...or is it?
posted by dubious_dude to human relations (15 answers total)
So, to keep this brief and simple as possible, I'm seeking a solution. I'm gay and work at a retail store (technology-oriented). About a month ago, I met a guy at the store (out of pure happenstance; asked him if he needed help). For some reason, we hit it off. Talked for about an hour about random things (okay, maybe I wasn't exactly doing my job!). He asked me how old I was, among a few other seemingly personal questions (particularly about my Deafness; he's hearing). He said something that had dirty innuendo to me and winked, but then proceeded to ask if I had a girlfriend. Despite that odd blip in conversation, we had a really good conversation and exchanged numbers.
On text, he texted me almost everyday, and we had some long and interesting conversations. He specifically asked for me at my store, asking me if I was going to be in, etc. This went on for a few weeks, up to one night when he asked me if I was gay or bisexual. After telling him my sexual orientation, he admitted he wasn't sure if he was suppressing his sexuality or the possibility that he was gay/bi, and that he would kiss a man if he wanted to...but also explained he knew he liked women. I told him he was free to experiment and that there was no pressure. We moved on from that topic, and then he came in my store one more time, saying he'd bring his friend to meet me the upcoming weekend. Well, after that visit (whereas nothing unusual happened), our friendship went onto freeze mode. He stopped texting me, stopped talking to me, and only gave short responses on text, if he responded at all. Frankly, it was really weird how all of a sudden he seemed to "forget" about me.
The solution I'm seeking is the best way to approach this situation. I felt a vibe between us, and had a crush on him. He's so smart, so nice and sweet, and just somehow triggered feelings inside me that I didn't know I had. Realistically, I know things probably won't work out because: a) he loves music and writes songs; I'm Deaf so music is definitely not something I have any knowledge about; b) we don't have much in common other than being intellectuals; and c) he's straight/curious... but the "deep freeze" mode has left me perturbed and confused, and I want to at least have some kind of closure, and know where we stand, and see if I did something wrong or if it's just him (going through a hard time or something).
Another factor to consider: he's 20; I'm 26. Both males, he's hearing, me Deaf. I don't think my Deafness had to do with it, because he seemed interested in me up until the freeze. (And he never brought his friend to meet me.)
Any concrete solutions for this problem would be great. I want to get down to the bottom of this.
Thanks, and Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas!