We are at different ends of the emotional spectrum, are we doomed?
December 10, 2012 3:00 PM Subscribe
We are at totally different ends of the emotional spectrum, are we doomed?
posted by JIMSMITH2000 to Human Relations (36 answers total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
My girlfriend and I are in our mid 20's, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, and we're at totally different ends of the emotional spectrum.
I am pragmatic, calm, efficient, fairly quiet and tend to be brutally honest. My girlfriend often complains that I am "emotionally cold". I work in a high pressure competitive job which compounds these traits. I love my girlfriend deeply but have a hard time showing it.
My girlfriend on the other hand is loud, passionate, and hot headed. She loves fiercely and completely.
It has been at times the best relationship I've ever had. We complimented each other, laughed long and hard together and generally had a load of fun. However our relationship is now on a knife edge.
My girlfriend has had a rough year and we can't seem to deal with these problems as a couple. She needs to talk for hours, gather her thoughts, cry, cry some more, worry about it and then work through the problem together. I don't tend to get upset, I'm poor at talking about emotions however I am very good at finding whatever solution there is to the problem at hand.
If your house was flooded I'm the guy you'd call to get your family out of there by any means, someone who'd get you fed, warm and into another house, and sort out all your insurance at the same time. If then you needed to talk about how it upset you I'm useless and you'd need to call my girlfriend.
However my girlfriend is constantly disappointed because I'm not meeting her emotional needs and I'm very frustrated because I feel I'm trying to do the right thing buts its never enough to satisfy her emotionally.
This weekend she said she needed some space and to be alone. I left her alone but she contacted me on Monday to say I should have been concerned about her and at least text her to see if she was ok. This sums up our relationship perfectly. She feels emotionally let down and I feel frustrated by doing what I thought was best.
My questions are:
Is there any hope to this kind of situation?
What steps can we take to try and meet in the emotional middle? Is there much point?
Are there any other couples out there that have similar differences? Do you compliment each other?
Am a destined to marry a cold hearted ice queen?
Example, answers, anecdotes all welcome....