Can I have the life I want and also have kids?
December 7, 2012 1:39 PM Subscribe
If I become a parent, I don't want to be a typical one. I also don't want to be anything like my own parents. How do you maintain your own life? What are some movies/TV shows/books/memoirs can help me get a feel for how non-stereotypical-suburban-American people treat their kids?
posted by 3491again to human relations (51 answers total) 38 users marked this as a favorite
Kind of a weird question, but I hope you can help.
My parents are not role models -- very long story, but I know I don't want to be anything like them.
None of my friends are parents.
I don't want to live the typical American suburban minivan and Disney lifestyle.
I'm trying to get a feel for what are real limitations imposed by the fact that there's this small person for whom you are totally responsible, and what are cultural artifacts of the cult of American parenting and not necessary.
I want to start a new career and travel and generally still live like an adult person as much as I can, if that is possible. I want to live in a city. I don't want to be a stereotypical soccer mom. I also want to be a good parent, if I decide to go that route.
So... if you manage to maintain an intellectual and social life, travel, have a career, and still be a cool person while having a family, I'd love to hear more about what it's like for you.
What makes it possible? Are there particular parenting philosophies that make sense to you or describe what you do? Is it different at different life stages of your child?
I'm also wondering if there are any characters in TV shows/films/novels/memoirs etc. that ring true for you. What should I be watching to give me some idea of what this could look like?
If this is a really bad idea, I'd like to hear that too.