Should I move out from my boyfriend's apartment?
December 4, 2012 5:42 AM Subscribe
Should I move out from my boyfriend's apartment, or give the live-in relationship another chance - or break up?
posted by katerok to human relations (12 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I am f/23, living with my boyfriend of 2 years.
I moved into his place 4 months after we started dating. He was apprehensive about me moving in, and in retrospect, it wasn't the best decision. At the time, I slid into it, because we spent so much time together anyway, and because he hated visiting me in my dorm (too much invasion of privacy).
Now, we've been living together for a year. Things have been very rocky, we've had a litany of issues to figure out. At times he has been controlling or very grumpy, at times I have been inconsiderate or too self-willed. We also disagree on a lot of minor things, and been bad at hashing out those differences. To top it all off, I've been working two jobs while studying, and have majorly slacked off in our home life.
Now, I've been on exchange to a different country for many months, and things are starting to look different from afar. We have talked a lot of our differences out. I quit the job that was really stressing me. He has remodeled our entire apartment to better accommodate the both of us.
However, after all the fights and disagreements, I'm wary of returning to that situation. I miss him and want to live with him, but I can't expend all that energy arguing, when I should be focusing on my studies. My feelings for him have cooled off slightly after all the problems, even though I know I was the cause of a lot of them.
He loves me dearly and wants to do whatever is best for the survival of the relationship. Like I said, he has remodeled the apartment, not to mention he does everything he can to make things good for both of us.
I should also mention that, before all the bad stuff started, he was my dream guy: very intelligent, handsome, fun, talented and competent. I was, and still am, his dream girl.
However, as I am about to return from my exchange, my best friend offered me a cheap and large room in her apartment, and I am very tempted by the offer.
I'm in a thousand minds about all this, and would really appreciate some of your wisdom.
Thank you for reading!