How to get over this big/little step
November 7, 2012 3:41 PM Subscribe
How to get over fear of this ( Long story inside)
posted by Autumn89 to sports, hobbies, & recreation (15 answers total)
Well on my bucket list was skydiving. So 6 months ago, my boyfriend paid for me to do a tandem skydive at 10,000 feet. I wasn't too wild about it after.. mostly because I got motion sickness from it and at the end I sprained my ankle pretty badly cause the tandem guy fell on top of me (totally my fault though!) But a few days later, I started obsessing about it. I wanted to do another tandem.
A few months later I did another tandem. This one I was terrified that me and the tandem guy was going to die. But of course we didn't. I did almost lose my glasses on the freefall because my goggles weren't tightened enough which was my fault again, haha. So I told my boyfriend if the landing went well, I wanted to take the skydiving course at this DZ (drop zone) to become a certified skydiver. The landing went awesome!
So 2 weeks ago, I took the solo skydiving course..Most people take the AFF course, but my drop zone doesn't have that, so they do IAD. We went over malfunctions, how to control the canopy, and other things. But that day we couldn't jump because the clouds were too low and we need a clearing of 3,000 feet and we were only getting 2,000 feet. For those of you who don't know what IAD is, it is when you jump out of the plane, your parachute opens right after. So the next weekend I went back and when I got there they just suited me up and before I knew it we were in the plane with two other skydivers and my instructor who was going to have my pilot chute out.
At about 2,000 feet my instructor showed me my pilot chute and I nodded. I felt a really bad feeling...of course I know. I'm about to jump out of a plane, I'm suppose to have a bad feeling. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. So I told him I didn't want to do it anymore. We went back down. I felt so much shame like my dream has been shattered, and I made a dumb decision even paying all that money for the course. I was leaving when two guys from the solo course from my class the last weekend showed up and asked if the clouds were too low again. I told them my story and they said they were scared too but they were going to do it.
So we all went back inside, and they suited us up again. I felt a lot better. But the only problem was I was cold out of my mind. I hadn't dressed that warm. I was shivering and my feet and hands felt so frozen. When we got into the plane, they made it so I would be the last person to jump out. I watched the two guys go...and then it was my turn. I was shivering at this point even more. As soon as they opened the door again, I shook my head and said I couldn't do it. It was way too freezing and I didn't trust myself that the cold would interfere with steering the canopy or the landing. So once again the had to land with me in the plane.
I feel like absolute crap for not jumping. I SHOULD have sucked it up and just dealt with the cold for 5 minutes. The only thing that happened after we all landed was the guy in the class who did jump said that it was really good I didn't jump because the winds picked up BADLY on the plane ride up and even though he was being directed back down by a walkie talkie, he almost hit the shed. So maybe I saved my own life by not jumping?
But I never want to feel this way again. I am pretty sure this weekend I am going to go up in the plane again. I am going to jump. I figured since I spent all that money for the class, might as well just jump and if I hate it, I don't have to do it ever again. But really I keep obsessing about it. I keep picturing the door opening and the step right there for me to step out on. I think one of the things that freaked me out the most is only being 3,000 feet compared to 10,000 feet...weird? Someone who is scared of not too high places...
So I need some advice on what to do before I jump. Like things I can say to encourage myself to just get it over with. I know everyone who has skydived before said it's an amazing feeling. But I'm looking for something more to say to myself while going up in the plane this time. Please don't be rude. Those kind of attitudes don't help me.
Oh and one more thing. I got a new temp job at a printing factory. Yesterday was my first day, and I recognized some guy working there. He was one of the skydivers that was in the plane with me the first ride up! I think it's a sign. :)