My sister's husband has probably had a psychotic break in Southern California and has gone missing. Please advise.
Let me state at the outset that the police have been notified. I have also read the advice in
this AskMe.
Prior History: My brother-in-law R works for a defense contractor in Southern California. As best I can tell, he breaks into systems to test their security. He has been jittery about it for the last few years, telling my sister K that his boss is doing illegal things and he's afraid he'll be blamed. He's afraid of the government arresting and prosecuting him (his words). He has told my sister more than once that one day he'll disappear, and that she should call his father and the police. He has also been obsessed with Anonymous.
It got bad a while ago, and he had to take a break from work. He's been on Viibryd ever since. He has been trying to take FMLA leave, but says his boss denied it. She claims she never saw it. K has a copy of it with his boss's signature, as well as everyone in HR's. We don't know what the deal is there.
Recent History: R was under a lot of stress over the last few months, and was put on Ativan in addition to the Viibryd. He's been stepping down on it (under medical supervision), and a week ago he weaned off it entirely. Last week he filed a whistleblower complaint on his boss, I think with the GAO. He received a letter back from the GAO saying that they had no jurisdiction over his employer.
Today: K woke up at 3 AM and saw R coming upstairs. He said he couldn't sleep. She thought nothing of it and went back to bed. She got up later with the kids, but when she went out to take the oldest to school, R's car was still in the driveway. She found a note in her office saying "I love you. I'm okay. Tell our boy that Daddy went to fight for his country. Burn this note." There was a lighter next to it.
K called R's boss. R was not at work. R's boss said he'd sent her a weird email. She forwarded it to K.
R left a bag with papers, including copies of the GAO letter. He does not have his computer. He has his phone, wallet, and passport, but his phone has been turned off. He sent her an email this afternoon saying that the US is at war with "foreigners." This was while the police were at the house. They told her what to write back. She hasn't heard from him since. The police didn't ask for a copy of the email, just told her to sit tight and call them if he got in touch. They didn't say what they would be doing, just that finding him would be a needle-in-haystack deal. They tried to track his phone but can't. R is on foot, unless he took a cab somewhere or has a friend in Anonymous who came to get him. K and R live just over an hour north of the border.
Occam's Razor says this is psychosis rather than the government actually being after him. I suppose there's a remote chance that we're in a spy thriller, but it doesn't sound to me like that's the case. I'm not sure it matters on our end anyway.
K is pulling the headers from both emails to do a reverse lookup on the IP addresses. She has called his doctor. She doesn't want to let anyone else in the family to know yet, so isn't posting to Facebook. I am vacillating whether or not to go out there, as I'm across the country in Florida. She has family support in his father and stepmother, though I'm not sure how reliable they are.
My questions:
1. Is there anything else either of us can do at this point?
2. Should K check in with the cops to see what they're doing? (I suspect the answer to that is no, but we both desperately want to know.)
3. She and I are pretty sure that she's in shock, which is why she's been handling this rationally so far. Should I go out there to be there when/if she falls apart? Ticket prices are not an issue at this point.
Thanks for your help, Metafilter.
posted by xyzzy at 5:26 PM on October 22, 2012