Need to reframe my thinking and comparing self to coworkers with families.
October 15, 2012 3:14 PM Subscribe
How can I reframe my thinking so that I stop comparing myself to coworkers who do all they do AND have families to take care of at home?
posted by ArgyleMarionette to human relations (16 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
How can I reframe my thinking so that I stop comparing myself to coworkers who do all they do AND have families to take care of at home? I'm kind of slipping into a depressive time-- the seasonal change probably isn't helping -- and I feel very rocky and unstable. My new job is mostly going well but it is a lot of responsibility and I feel myself slipping behind and have been having problems getting up and going to work, and making decisions and getting things done while there. I've worked a lot of hours to keep pace since I started. My eating habits are somewhat better, but I still don't have my crap together at home (clean, sane home environment) and basic things like brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and taking a shower are feeling harder. I keep on beating myself up for not being able to take care of myself properly, and comparing myself to my coworkers who have families at home and are taking care of kids. Meanwhile, I feel like I can barely take care of myself. I'm embarrassed and not sure how to explain myself. I've mentioned to my boss that I haven't been feeling well and she hasn't said anything really negative yet (though once mentioned she can tell I'm sort of 'spinning' in some decision making).
Do you ever feel like this, at least the part where you feel like you don't have any reason to be tired, late, etc because you don't have kids to take care of? (I don't even have a pet... can't find a pet-friendly apartment, or don't have the energy to look rather). Not only am I feeling this weird shame at work about not having dependents, but I guess it makes me sad to think that I'll never get my act together long enough to have any of these things. That is not helping either. Thanks for any advice.